*IT'S THE KITTY SHOW....IT'S THE KITTY SHOW....DO DO DO!!*
~THE ADVENTURES OF KITTY AND SATAN~ Part 1
By: Kitty
Typed By: Morgana T. Goodrich
Warning: THE FOLLOWING IS THE LASTEST EPISODE OF THE KITTY SHOW. PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REENACT OR RECREATE ANYTHING SAID OR DONE ON THIS SHOW. IT COULD REALLY FUCK YOU UP......AND THE LAST THING I NEED IS ANOTHER LAWSUIT AGAINST ME. GOD I FUCKING HATE THOSE DAMN THING.......COURT IS NOT A FUN PLACE TO BE.
Info inserts: # #
~*~*~* Ok...so my friend Satan...(you know, the guy that runs Hell) is all pretending he doesn't know me. That bastard. Is it my fault that God called him a complete pansy-waist and I didn't stick up for him? I mean...come on...he's God...what did Satan expect me to do?
OK so later, I was walking with Satan in the mall and this really skanky slut bag walks up and starts making fun of Satan's skin color because it's red. I was all like, "Yo' biotch, my man Satan here didn't suffer 300 years and have his people live in lava pits and shit just so you can go and make fun of him!" He was holding me back so I wouldn't beat the shit out of the little whore. Satan was all like, "Yo' Kitty, I can handle this." Then, he incinerated her.
Later, we went back to my house and were watching "Birds of Prey" (ok...confusing name isn't it? One's a cat...another is a fucking bat thing...and the third one is a psychic...where the fuck did "Birds of Pray" come from?) Ok so my mom burst into my room and started screaming, and I all like "What the hell?" Well....apparently.....Satan left the toilet seat up and then the toilet swallowed my brother. Mom got really pissed off when I started rolling on then floor laughing my ass off. She sent me and Satan outside to play because supposedly it was really nice out and I'm pale and shit.
Ok so we're outside and Satan goes, "I invented the post-it." And I was all like, "No you didn't." Then he started bitching about how I didn't believe him and he really did invent them. Come on know...how evil if a fucking post-it? Nobody goes around like "OH, FEAR THE DREADED POST- IT!!!!!!" And he's the prince of darkness? I so could take Satan in a fight. Anyway, back to my story. We were just sitting there soaking up the sun when JAMES MARSTERS!! walks up and starts complaining like, "I know you were the ones going through my trash and selling my coffee filters on E- BAY." I was trying my best not to like...melt at his incredible hotness while I was pretending not to know what he was talking about. Then, I asked him to sign my boobs and Satan got all pissy like "Why don't you ever let me sign your boobs?!" Then I tried to explain that, "Satan, you're my friend...I'm not letting you anywhere near my boobs." He got all mad and turned Spike...#James Marsters plays Spike on one of the WB shows....the show is either Buffy or Angel...I think.#...into David Boreanaz, only with a receding hair-line and a beer belly. Ok...Spike fans..Spike will now be played by David B. with a beer belly. I'm sorry...but Satan signs with a branding iron...and I only have two boobs...and hardly that.
OK so Satan won't turn Spike back to normal until I let him sign my boobs. DAMN YOU SATAN!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CHOSE BETWEEN JAMES AND MY BREASTS!!!!!!!!!
Ok...so we ended up back in my room with Satan hiding under my desk eating all my Milky Ways and crying like a little bitch with a skinned knee because all the James Marsters fans are after him. David B. (formally known as Spike) is sitting on my bed eating on all my peanut butter M&M's. I think I might have to sell him on E-BAY...but I think the beer belly and bald spot will hurt his retail value. Ok I want James back to normal and covered in chocolate as much as the next person...but it's so difficult to choose between him and my boobs.
Ok so 3 hours later, I'm sitting next to James who's slathered in chocolate naked and chained to my bed, with an ice pack down my shirt. I think somebody needs to introduce Satan to the concept of a sharpie marker. Spike's back to normal and he promised me he would marry me if I let him out of the chains. I was like, "I'll not falling for that one again. It's either wedding vows in chains or you're not going anywhere."
Then my dad walked into my room. Between Satan eating Milky Ways, me with an ice pack between my boobs, and James Marsters chained to my bed, something must have popped into his head. Now I get to visit my new psychiatrist every Wednesday.
NEXT TIME ON THE ADVENTURES OF KITTY AND SATAN: THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES SO STAY TUNED YOU MINDLESS FUCKERS!
*IT'S THE KITTY SHOW....IT'S THE KITTY SHOW....DO DO DO!!*
~THE ADVENTURES OF KITTY AND SATAN~ Part 1
By: Kitty
Typed By: Morgana T. Goodrich
Warning: THE FOLLOWING IS THE LASTEST EPISODE OF THE KITTY SHOW. PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO REENACT OR RECREATE ANYTHING SAID OR DONE ON THIS SHOW. IT COULD REALLY FUCK YOU UP......AND THE LAST THING I NEED IS ANOTHER LAWSUIT AGAINST ME. GOD I FUCKING HATE THOSE DAMN THING.......COURT IS NOT A FUN PLACE TO BE.
Info inserts: # #
~*~*~* Ok...so my friend Satan...(you know, the guy that runs Hell) is all pretending he doesn't know me. That bastard. Is it my fault that God called him a complete pansy-waist and I didn't stick up for him? I mean...come on...he's God...what did Satan expect me to do?
OK so later, I was walking with Satan in the mall and this really skanky slut bag walks up and starts making fun of Satan's skin color because it's red. I was all like, "Yo' biotch, my man Satan here didn't suffer 300 years and have his people live in lava pits and shit just so you can go and make fun of him!" He was holding me back so I wouldn't beat the shit out of the little whore. Satan was all like, "Yo' Kitty, I can handle this." Then, he incinerated her.
Later, we went back to my house and were watching "Birds of Prey" (ok...confusing name isn't it? One's a cat...another is a fucking bat thing...and the third one is a psychic...where the fuck did "Birds of Pray" come from?) Ok so my mom burst into my room and started screaming, and I all like "What the hell?" Well....apparently.....Satan left the toilet seat up and then the toilet swallowed my brother. Mom got really pissed off when I started rolling on then floor laughing my ass off. She sent me and Satan outside to play because supposedly it was really nice out and I'm pale and shit.
Ok so we're outside and Satan goes, "I invented the post-it." And I was all like, "No you didn't." Then he started bitching about how I didn't believe him and he really did invent them. Come on know...how evil if a fucking post-it? Nobody goes around like "OH, FEAR THE DREADED POST- IT!!!!!!" And he's the prince of darkness? I so could take Satan in a fight. Anyway, back to my story. We were just sitting there soaking up the sun when JAMES MARSTERS!! walks up and starts complaining like, "I know you were the ones going through my trash and selling my coffee filters on E- BAY." I was trying my best not to like...melt at his incredible hotness while I was pretending not to know what he was talking about. Then, I asked him to sign my boobs and Satan got all pissy like "Why don't you ever let me sign your boobs?!" Then I tried to explain that, "Satan, you're my friend...I'm not letting you anywhere near my boobs." He got all mad and turned Spike...#James Marsters plays Spike on one of the WB shows....the show is either Buffy or Angel...I think.#...into David Boreanaz, only with a receding hair-line and a beer belly. Ok...Spike fans..Spike will now be played by David B. with a beer belly. I'm sorry...but Satan signs with a branding iron...and I only have two boobs...and hardly that.
OK so Satan won't turn Spike back to normal until I let him sign my boobs. DAMN YOU SATAN!!!!!! HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CHOSE BETWEEN JAMES AND MY BREASTS!!!!!!!!!
Ok...so we ended up back in my room with Satan hiding under my desk eating all my Milky Ways and crying like a little bitch with a skinned knee because all the James Marsters fans are after him. David B. (formally known as Spike) is sitting on my bed eating on all my peanut butter M&M's. I think I might have to sell him on E-BAY...but I think the beer belly and bald spot will hurt his retail value. Ok I want James back to normal and covered in chocolate as much as the next person...but it's so difficult to choose between him and my boobs.
Ok so 3 hours later, I'm sitting next to James who's slathered in chocolate naked and chained to my bed, with an ice pack down my shirt. I think somebody needs to introduce Satan to the concept of a sharpie marker. Spike's back to normal and he promised me he would marry me if I let him out of the chains. I was like, "I'll not falling for that one again. It's either wedding vows in chains or you're not going anywhere."
Then my dad walked into my room. Between Satan eating Milky Ways, me with an ice pack between my boobs, and James Marsters chained to my bed, something must have popped into his head. Now I get to visit my new psychiatrist every Wednesday.
NEXT TIME ON THE ADVENTURES OF KITTY AND SATAN: THE ADVENTURE CONTINUES SO STAY TUNED YOU MINDLESS FUCKERS!
*IT'S THE KITTY SHOW....IT'S THE KITTY SHOW....DO DO DO!!*