Chapter 10
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, songs etc. except for the plot line.
Uncle Snape was an idea borrowed from Slytherin Girl and I have permission to
use it.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Hermione slammed the door behind her. She thought that the top three worse
days in her life had been in the order of:
1. Graduation dance/day
2. The day her adopted mother died
3. The day she had fought with Ginny and Padma
But now she wasn't so sure. She was pretty sure that this would be somewhere
close to the top of that list.
The whole thing at the fast-food restaurant had made it that way. First with
running into Harry, it had made it a bad day. Then having Draco, Justin and
Blaise show up had had made it a worse day. The, having four of her previous
best friends, on two different sides beg her not to go along with the other had
made it horrible. The thing that had topped it off was the look she had seen in
three sets of eyes. The look of caring. They claimed to no longer care so it had
no place whatsoever to be there.
She had never wanted to see any of them ever again. They had all had apart in
ruining her past and she didn't want them having any part in ruining any of her
future. She just couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't handle having all the
people that she had cared about most just desert her. Sure there was the ones
that were trying to get back on her good side but they had messed it up to much.
They had been so blind sighted to her problems that she didn't think that they
deserved any of her forgiveness. They had stabbed her in the back not the other
way around.
She ran up the stairs to the bathroom to take a shower so that she could try and
relax. She glanced up from the floor on the way down the hallway to find herself
face-to-face with, well, herself. Or at least that what she thought she saw. This
person or thing starring back at her was not the picture of herself that she had in
her mind.
The picture she had was a person with soft features, chocolate brown eyes
with soft wavy auburn waves in her hair. Sure she had straightened her hair but
that picture in her head still wouldn't go away. In that picture she was pretty and soft and
there was nothing about her that any person wouldn't love.
What she saw in the mirror was a harsh person, with straight hair that still had the
black low lights put in her hair the summer after seventh year. They were
supposed to have faded completely disappear in two months but here, more
the five years later, they still remained.
Her eyes were dark. Really dark. Like almost black dark. She had sharp features
and she wasn't as pretty as she had once been. For the first time she saw what
others saw. Mainly why people she used to know now saw. She had always
wondered why they gasped or their eyes grew wide when they saw her.
What she didn't know was what had happened to cause this. Or why she had
never noticed this before now. Well that wasn't true. She knew both those
answers, she just wasn't willing to admit them or wasn't willing to show herself to,
well, herself.
She walked away from the mirror not knowing what to think or what to not think,
depending on how she looked at the this. She was mad, confused and for the
first time in a long time had a stupid urge to cry.
This couldn't have picked a worse day to surface. She was sure that there was
something in the stars or something that made this the day to make her come to
full realization of all her problems.
She wasn't the Hermione that she had thought. She was a stranger to herself.
She had spent so long in denial that she had never even realized what her
problems were. She hadn't been able to keep any of her friends. The only people
she loved were her uncle and little sister. She had never been able to fit any
other love in her life. Or just wouldn't allow herself to.
She tried to make sense of all the thoughts rolling around in her head. She tried
to block out all the realizations that today had brought. She tried not to think. Yet
she tried to think of everything that had gone wrong in the last 6 years. She just
couldn't make up her mind on what to do.
God, she couldn't make up her mind about anything. All she wanted right at that
moment was peace. Peace from the little niche of hell she had created for
herself. Peace for all the crap that surrounded her. Just peace.
"Is that too much to ask for? Damn, all I want is to live in peace. To leave that
past behind me and forget about it" she yelled, looking up to the sky's not caring
who heard her just as long as someone did.
She reached under her bed for her notebook. Just a simple coiled one. To any
one else that's all it would look like. To her it was an outlet. It was an outlet that
she barely ever used and she was to only one who even knew it existed.
She had poured happiness and pain into this book. Sorrow and relief. Anger,
bitterness, anytime when the emotions that she had bottled up got too much to
handle. That's why it hadn't been used in so long. She hadn't felt any real
emotion. Just fake ones that she put on for show. She picked up a pen and
began to write, not having a clue what went on to the page. Just writing out anything
that came to mind no matter what it was.
She sat there for hours writing, not a clue what time it was or that there where
several people watching her. . .
~*~*~*~*~
Draco looked up from the book that he had been trying to read ever since they
had arrived back at the Manor. In all honesty though, he couldn't tell you what he
had read, only that it had some girl named Anna in it.
In truth all that was on his mind was Hermione. No matter how much he hated to
admit it. Its all that had been on his mind for the last five years no matter what he
did to try and block her out.
He threw the book across the room and let out a small sigh. He didn't know what
to do anymore. He had seen her eyes. Those ever unchanging eyes changed
slightly. He saw them flicker, as if she was unsure of something. That something
though, he still had yet to figure out.
She cared about him still. He had said this before, but now he was positive.
There was caring there. Though he was sure that all love had evaporated like
water on a hot day. There was just no way to be sure anymore.
Every time he looked at the chain that he, Blaise and Justin still wore, he felt an
aching in his heart. Seeing that Hermione still wore it had made this aching
worse. She had kept a promise that she made to him and that hurt him. It hurt
him because he knew how much it must hurt her to look in the mirror and see it
everyday.
There were six names on that ring, and she no longer had a solid relationship
with any of them. Yet she wore it. He had trouble understanding her thinking behind
it but he remembered her telling him that she was a woman of her word.
He wanted so badly to fix her problems. But if he stepped in, it could get them
killed. He had to find a way to let her know that he cared and still loved her more
than life itself.
He recalled all of seventh year. But it seemed so long ago that it was almost like a
movie that just kept playing over and over in his mind. He wanted that movie, those
memories to become a reality again.
More than anything, he wanted Hermione to love him again, or at least find love for
herself again.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, songs etc. except for the plot line.
Uncle Snape was an idea borrowed from Slytherin Girl and I have permission to
use it.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Hermione slammed the door behind her. She thought that the top three worse
days in her life had been in the order of:
1. Graduation dance/day
2. The day her adopted mother died
3. The day she had fought with Ginny and Padma
But now she wasn't so sure. She was pretty sure that this would be somewhere
close to the top of that list.
The whole thing at the fast-food restaurant had made it that way. First with
running into Harry, it had made it a bad day. Then having Draco, Justin and
Blaise show up had had made it a worse day. The, having four of her previous
best friends, on two different sides beg her not to go along with the other had
made it horrible. The thing that had topped it off was the look she had seen in
three sets of eyes. The look of caring. They claimed to no longer care so it had
no place whatsoever to be there.
She had never wanted to see any of them ever again. They had all had apart in
ruining her past and she didn't want them having any part in ruining any of her
future. She just couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't handle having all the
people that she had cared about most just desert her. Sure there was the ones
that were trying to get back on her good side but they had messed it up to much.
They had been so blind sighted to her problems that she didn't think that they
deserved any of her forgiveness. They had stabbed her in the back not the other
way around.
She ran up the stairs to the bathroom to take a shower so that she could try and
relax. She glanced up from the floor on the way down the hallway to find herself
face-to-face with, well, herself. Or at least that what she thought she saw. This
person or thing starring back at her was not the picture of herself that she had in
her mind.
The picture she had was a person with soft features, chocolate brown eyes
with soft wavy auburn waves in her hair. Sure she had straightened her hair but
that picture in her head still wouldn't go away. In that picture she was pretty and soft and
there was nothing about her that any person wouldn't love.
What she saw in the mirror was a harsh person, with straight hair that still had the
black low lights put in her hair the summer after seventh year. They were
supposed to have faded completely disappear in two months but here, more
the five years later, they still remained.
Her eyes were dark. Really dark. Like almost black dark. She had sharp features
and she wasn't as pretty as she had once been. For the first time she saw what
others saw. Mainly why people she used to know now saw. She had always
wondered why they gasped or their eyes grew wide when they saw her.
What she didn't know was what had happened to cause this. Or why she had
never noticed this before now. Well that wasn't true. She knew both those
answers, she just wasn't willing to admit them or wasn't willing to show herself to,
well, herself.
She walked away from the mirror not knowing what to think or what to not think,
depending on how she looked at the this. She was mad, confused and for the
first time in a long time had a stupid urge to cry.
This couldn't have picked a worse day to surface. She was sure that there was
something in the stars or something that made this the day to make her come to
full realization of all her problems.
She wasn't the Hermione that she had thought. She was a stranger to herself.
She had spent so long in denial that she had never even realized what her
problems were. She hadn't been able to keep any of her friends. The only people
she loved were her uncle and little sister. She had never been able to fit any
other love in her life. Or just wouldn't allow herself to.
She tried to make sense of all the thoughts rolling around in her head. She tried
to block out all the realizations that today had brought. She tried not to think. Yet
she tried to think of everything that had gone wrong in the last 6 years. She just
couldn't make up her mind on what to do.
God, she couldn't make up her mind about anything. All she wanted right at that
moment was peace. Peace from the little niche of hell she had created for
herself. Peace for all the crap that surrounded her. Just peace.
"Is that too much to ask for? Damn, all I want is to live in peace. To leave that
past behind me and forget about it" she yelled, looking up to the sky's not caring
who heard her just as long as someone did.
She reached under her bed for her notebook. Just a simple coiled one. To any
one else that's all it would look like. To her it was an outlet. It was an outlet that
she barely ever used and she was to only one who even knew it existed.
She had poured happiness and pain into this book. Sorrow and relief. Anger,
bitterness, anytime when the emotions that she had bottled up got too much to
handle. That's why it hadn't been used in so long. She hadn't felt any real
emotion. Just fake ones that she put on for show. She picked up a pen and
began to write, not having a clue what went on to the page. Just writing out anything
that came to mind no matter what it was.
She sat there for hours writing, not a clue what time it was or that there where
several people watching her. . .
~*~*~*~*~
Draco looked up from the book that he had been trying to read ever since they
had arrived back at the Manor. In all honesty though, he couldn't tell you what he
had read, only that it had some girl named Anna in it.
In truth all that was on his mind was Hermione. No matter how much he hated to
admit it. Its all that had been on his mind for the last five years no matter what he
did to try and block her out.
He threw the book across the room and let out a small sigh. He didn't know what
to do anymore. He had seen her eyes. Those ever unchanging eyes changed
slightly. He saw them flicker, as if she was unsure of something. That something
though, he still had yet to figure out.
She cared about him still. He had said this before, but now he was positive.
There was caring there. Though he was sure that all love had evaporated like
water on a hot day. There was just no way to be sure anymore.
Every time he looked at the chain that he, Blaise and Justin still wore, he felt an
aching in his heart. Seeing that Hermione still wore it had made this aching
worse. She had kept a promise that she made to him and that hurt him. It hurt
him because he knew how much it must hurt her to look in the mirror and see it
everyday.
There were six names on that ring, and she no longer had a solid relationship
with any of them. Yet she wore it. He had trouble understanding her thinking behind
it but he remembered her telling him that she was a woman of her word.
He wanted so badly to fix her problems. But if he stepped in, it could get them
killed. He had to find a way to let her know that he cared and still loved her more
than life itself.
He recalled all of seventh year. But it seemed so long ago that it was almost like a
movie that just kept playing over and over in his mind. He wanted that movie, those
memories to become a reality again.
More than anything, he wanted Hermione to love him again, or at least find love for
herself again.