Chapter 16
It's so strange-- this feeling-- It's like I've fallen down the same hole I had just climbed out of. The darkness behind my eyelids has turned even blacker, if it's possible. My eyes feel like two voids.....
Don't they always say, the eyes are the window to the soul?
AJ is still talking-- I'm certain of it-- but nothing is registering. The air being pulled in and out of my lungs isn't even registering.
Dead, dead, dead.....
I can hear it with almost a lyrical tone in my head.
Dead.
The door to the room opens again, and AJ immediately halts his didactic speech on the 'dangers of Jason'. The silence turns to tension, instantly clueing me in to who the new guest is. 'I've gotten waaay to used to this' I think with morbid amusement.
"AJ."
Always the wordsmith. Yet somewhere behind his brusque greeting I can hear trepidation. Well, as trepidated as he gets....
"Jason."
More silence. Cold silence. I wonder if this is what a dead person hears....
"I'd like to speak with Emily alone."'
"You know, I don't feel comfortable leaving my sister alone with you after you just killed a kid."
Ouch.
"I don't think Emily would appreciate you screening her visitors *AJ*."
"And she'd appreciate your part in the death of her best friend?"
Dead, dead, dead..... What more to life is there than death?
"Why don't you just get out of here?"
Fighting.
More silence. I can feel the stare down-- the challenging. Two bulls in mating season. I'm waiting for them to start scraping their feet on the floor. The image starts a laugh deep in my stomach, but before it reaches my throat something falls on it-- something so heavy it crushes it and everything in it's path.
Weight. All I can feel is the weight.
"You can't stop me from seeing my sister AJ-- You want to try-- fine. Contact my lawyer--"
"Maybe I'll do that."
I hear AJ get up and open the door briskly. It closes with a resounding click-- and without warning, I start to shake. I don't understand it, but I can't stop. Jason sits down beside me and a wave of nausea hits me. I know I'm going to throw up-- I know it-- so I open my mouth and brace myself.
What comes out was not what I expected--
Jason jumps in his seat as the unforeseen wail leaves my lips. It's loud, and gutwrenching-- something between an elongated 'no' and moan.... It's every emotion I had left in my body condensed into one noise-- one cry-- hollow and echoing against the emptiness in me. The sound of it in my own ears scares me and breaks me-- and I feel the desire to sink through the bed-- sink as far as I can-- crawl on the floor-- integrate myself into it.
I have yet to open my eyes, but I feel Jason lean forward and gather me in his arms.
"I'm so sorry Em-- I wanted to tell you first--"
Oh Jason-- You couldn't-- no one could--
Lucky told me first.
It's so strange-- this feeling-- It's like I've fallen down the same hole I had just climbed out of. The darkness behind my eyelids has turned even blacker, if it's possible. My eyes feel like two voids.....
Don't they always say, the eyes are the window to the soul?
AJ is still talking-- I'm certain of it-- but nothing is registering. The air being pulled in and out of my lungs isn't even registering.
Dead, dead, dead.....
I can hear it with almost a lyrical tone in my head.
Dead.
The door to the room opens again, and AJ immediately halts his didactic speech on the 'dangers of Jason'. The silence turns to tension, instantly clueing me in to who the new guest is. 'I've gotten waaay to used to this' I think with morbid amusement.
"AJ."
Always the wordsmith. Yet somewhere behind his brusque greeting I can hear trepidation. Well, as trepidated as he gets....
"Jason."
More silence. Cold silence. I wonder if this is what a dead person hears....
"I'd like to speak with Emily alone."'
"You know, I don't feel comfortable leaving my sister alone with you after you just killed a kid."
Ouch.
"I don't think Emily would appreciate you screening her visitors *AJ*."
"And she'd appreciate your part in the death of her best friend?"
Dead, dead, dead..... What more to life is there than death?
"Why don't you just get out of here?"
Fighting.
More silence. I can feel the stare down-- the challenging. Two bulls in mating season. I'm waiting for them to start scraping their feet on the floor. The image starts a laugh deep in my stomach, but before it reaches my throat something falls on it-- something so heavy it crushes it and everything in it's path.
Weight. All I can feel is the weight.
"You can't stop me from seeing my sister AJ-- You want to try-- fine. Contact my lawyer--"
"Maybe I'll do that."
I hear AJ get up and open the door briskly. It closes with a resounding click-- and without warning, I start to shake. I don't understand it, but I can't stop. Jason sits down beside me and a wave of nausea hits me. I know I'm going to throw up-- I know it-- so I open my mouth and brace myself.
What comes out was not what I expected--
Jason jumps in his seat as the unforeseen wail leaves my lips. It's loud, and gutwrenching-- something between an elongated 'no' and moan.... It's every emotion I had left in my body condensed into one noise-- one cry-- hollow and echoing against the emptiness in me. The sound of it in my own ears scares me and breaks me-- and I feel the desire to sink through the bed-- sink as far as I can-- crawl on the floor-- integrate myself into it.
I have yet to open my eyes, but I feel Jason lean forward and gather me in his arms.
"I'm so sorry Em-- I wanted to tell you first--"
Oh Jason-- You couldn't-- no one could--
Lucky told me first.