Title: A Dream Life
Author: Andrea
Rating: R
Summary: It's a Carby. Abby and Carter are married. And pregnant. And pretty happy about that fact.
Author's Note: Thanks for the editing, ladies. You know who you are. Of course there wasn't much editing to do, so thanks for worshipful praise instead.
~*~*~*~
A Dream Life
Chapter 11: Double Date
"Like a double date?" I ask, incredulous.
"Well, not exactly. Not a double date. Just dinner." John says. We're in the lounge getting ready for another fun-filled day of saving lives at County. Carter has just suggested expanding our date night to include another couple.
"You and me. And Susan and Luka."
"Yeah."
"Sounds like a double date to me."
"Ahh!" He sounds a little frustrated.
"A double date with our exes. You know, that's a little weird."
"What's weird about it? I mean, we're all friends, right?"
"Well … yeah. But you know, Luka is a lot more my ex than Susan is your ex."
"Huh?"
"You know. I mean, you and Susan never …"
"Oh. Yeah. But Abby, that was a lifetime ago. It doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you. Does it bother you? Because I can tell them to forget it."
I sigh. "No, it doesn't bother me. I just think it's kinda … well, weird. But you're right, we're all friends. Sort of. So why not? I guess."
"Good. I think it'll be fun." He swings his stethoscope over his head so he can drape it around his neck and then leans over to kiss my cheek. "Be careful out there." Leave it to Carter to think that bedpan duty is dangerous.
I hurry to get the last of my own preparations done before heading into the zoo that is the ER. We were already late getting here this morning and then taking time to plan our social agenda has just left me with more catch-up work. I spend the next couple hours scurrying around trying to get ahead of the work, but it really isn't happening. I finally take a breather at admit, leaning against the desk.
"Hey." Susan appears next to me. "So we're on for tonight, right?"
"You ladies have an important night of painting your toenails planned? Maybe you're gonna do each other's hair?" Frank chimes in for no apparent reason.
"No, Frank," I tell him. "It's our group sex night."
"Do you wanna join us?" Susan asks with a straight face. "It's bondage night. Bring your own rope."
Frank's face turns bright red as he looks at us and starts to say something but then stops. In the end he just shakes his head and hurries off, busying himself on the other side of the desk. Muttering something under his breath that might have been "crazy broads."
"So I was saying, we're all set for tonight right?" Susan asks.
"Yep, Carter gave me the game plan."
"Okay. Well, Luka's off today so I guess he'll just meet us there and … Abby? Abby, are you okay?"
"Uh …" The room is doing that spinning thing again. Susan must have noticed when I squeezed my eyes shut trying to fight off the dizziness. I need to sit down. So I do. Right there on the nasty ER floor.
"What's wrong, Abby?"
"I'm okay."
"Then why are you sitting on the floor?"
"I'm just a little dizzy." I tell her.
"Abby? Are you okay?" Carter. Of course. His radar must have kicked in. He kneels down next to me looking concerned.
"I'm fine. Got a little dizzy." He gives me a stern look. "But I'm okay now." I attempt to prove it by standing up. And immediately I feel myself start to sway as the room starts spinning again. And then, before I know what's happening, I'm being swept up into John's arms. "What are you doing? Put me down."
"I think you need to lie down." He says as I find myself being gently placed on a gurney. Right out here in front of everyone. Great. He sits down on the gurney next to me and gives me a long look.
"I'm really okay."
"Uh-huh. You didn't eat breakfast, did you?"
"Well … we were late."
He lets out an exasperated sigh. But his voice is soft when he speaks. "You have to eat, babe. The little one needs you to, you know." He pats my belly and then lets his hand rest there.
"Take your hand off my stomach. Everyone's staring. And I don't want them figuring out our little secret."
He looks over his shoulder toward the admit area. "Well, it won't be a secret for long. Besides, no one's paying any attention. I don't think they even noticed." But he does move his hand off my abdomen and on to my leg, where he pats my knee affectionately.
"Yeah, it's every day you come along and pick me up and lay me down on a gurney."
"Actually, it's been a while since we did that." He says with a grin. I give him an eye roll. So he decides to change the subject. "You must be hungry. Since you skipped breakfast and all."
I feel like he's scolding me. "I told you, we were late. I thought I would grab something here, but the place was crazy and I never got a chance. It's not like I did it on purpose."
"I know that, Abby. I wasn't suggesting that you did anything wrong. But if you're hungry, I can go get you something to eat." I shrug.
"If I go get food, will you eat?" He asks. I look at him and then nod. "Do me a favor, okay? Just stay here and rest until I get back. Consider it your break." He's negotiating with me. Food in exchange for me staying on this gurney like an invalid.
"How about if I wait in the lounge?"
"How about if you just stay here? Susan can check you out while I'm on a food run." He gestures for a hovering Susan to come over.
"Check me out? I don't need to be checked out, I'm fine."
"Susan, do me a favor? Keep her here … maybe check out her vital signs."
"Sure. I can do that."
"Hello? In the room. Could you please not talk around me?" I protest.
"Sorry." John says, leaning over to kiss my forehead. "I'll be right back." He hops up and disappears to find me a belated breakfast.
"So how are you doing?" Susan asks, picking up my wrist to take my pulse. I give her a look. She smiles. "Let me guess -- you're fine."
"Well, I am."
"He's just looking out for you and you-know-who." She says.
"I know. But …"
"Abby, you're lucky to have a husband who is so involved and so concerned. You're lucky to have him."
"Yeah, I know."
"And maybe he's right and you should get some rest. You do look tired. Why don't you close you eyes and rest until Carter gets back." I hate to admit it, but it sounds like a good idea. I'll just close my eyes for a minute.
******
"She's okay. Pulse, blood pressure, everything's normal. Dizziness is a common enough side effect and if she didn't eat …"
I open my eyes and find Susan and John standing over me. He reaches out and smoothes my hair back from my face. "Sorry we woke you."
"I wasn't sleeping."
Susan laughs at that. "Sure you weren't." She says with much sarcasm. "Abby, you've been snoring over here for a half and hour."
"It took me a while to get your breakfast." John apologizes. Gee, seemed pretty quick to me. Didn't he just leave? Huh. Maybe I was sleeping.
"Okay, I have other patients to check on. I'll see you later, Abby." Susan says as she walks away.
Carter smiles at me as he sits down on the gurney with me. "Hungry?" He asks.
"Yeah." Always. "Something smells good in there." I say, gesturing to the container he's holding.
"I got you French toast."
"Yum."
"With strawberries and strawberry syrup."
"I love you."
"I know." He gives me a grin. "I'm not gonna have any trouble getting you to eat this, am I?" He's popping open the Styrofoam container and apparently cutting up my food.
"Nope. But I think I can cut my own food." He offers me a piece on a plastic fork. "I think I can feed myself, too. John, I'm serious. I'm not having the whole ER watch you feed me. We've already created enough of a scene." His answer to that is to simply reach over and pull the privacy curtain around us.
"Better?" He asks.
"Not really, but I guess I'm not gonna win this one." And I'm starving so whatever it takes to get that French toast is okay with me. I'll even let him feed me. And that's exactly what he does. Sneaking a bite or two for himself, but mostly helping me through a generous serving of the fried bread and fruity syrup.
"Are you feeling better now?" He asks after I drink all my milk like a good girl.
"Yes, thank you." I say in my best 'polite' voice. I think he notes the sarcasm. But then I say in all seriousness, "Thanks for bringing me … brunch."
"Anytime." I know he means that.
"I have to get back to my patients." I say, as I attempt to get up.
"No, you don't."
"Yes, I do."
"Nope. Called in a replacement for you."
"What? Why would you do that?"
"Because you're going home."
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"I'm fine, John."
"But you weren't before."
"You heard Susan, dizziness is a perfectly common side effect of …" I drop my voice, not knowing who might be standing with in earshot, " … pregnancy. I don't need to go home every time I experience something normal."
"Abby … please? Do it for me? I don't want to see you overworked or stressed out. Just go home and rest. You haven't had a day off in a while, I think you need a chance to relax. Maybe take a nice long nap …"
"Well …" I have to admit it's tempting. "What are you going to tell everyone?"
"That you're not feeling well. It's true enough."
"Okay."
"Okay, you'll go home?"
"Yeah. I don't have the energy to argue with you. And something tells me I won't win, anyway."
"You got that right." He says, taking my hand and helping me off the gurney then leading me to the lounge where he supervises while I get ready to go home.
And then he leads me out to the ambulance bay and packs me into a cab. Guess he didn't want me straining myself by driving or riding the El. By the time I get home, I'm more than grateful for the day off. That long nap that John mentioned is sounding like a really good idea. I drop my stuff as soon as I get in the door.
"Come on, baby." I say to thin air. "Let's go get a nap."
******
I wake up to knocking. Bang, bang, bang on the front door. Did John forget his keys again? I stumble out of bed and through the living room.
"How many times do I have to tell you to make sure you have your keys?" I say as I open the door.
"I don't have keys to your place, Abby. I don't think Carter would approve."
Luka. Shit. What's he doing here? Am I wearing pants? I look down. Scrub pants. Okay, good. I should probably think about these things before I answer the door from now on. I don't even want to think about the state of my hair. And I really wish I could get my eyes to actually focus on something.
"Uh … What are you doing here?" I ask.
"I'm supposed to pick you up." Luka informs me.
"Pick me up?"
"For our date?"
"Our … date?" Okay, what's going on here? Did I just jump back in time? Am I dreaming? Have the past few years been nothing but a dream?
"Well, not our date. Not you and me. Our twin date, is that what you call it? You and Carter. Susan and me. Remember?" Right. Right, dinner. Yeah, I remember that. Sort of.
"Double date."
"Right."
"And why are you picking me up?"
"Susan called and said she and John would ride together from work, but that you came home. So she asked if I could pick you up since it was on my way. They didn't call you?"
"I … uh … I don't know."
"Abby, are you okay?" Oh dear God, could anyone else in the world possibly ask me that question?
"I … was, uh, taking a nap."
"Oh." And then we just stand there for a minute. "Can I come in?" Luka finally asks.
"Uh, yeah. Okay. Sure. I'm … uh, not exactly ready."
"I see that."
"I'll have to change … and stuff."
"Okay. Take your time."
"Well … make yourself at home." I tell him after closing the front door and heading for the bedroom. I don't know if it's a side effect of pregnancy or from all these naps, but I seem to be suffering from a permanent brain fart. I manage to get it together long enough to change into some clothes that I can still fit into and run a brush through my hair. Which just gives me a nice case of frizzy bed head. Okay, a clip it is. Not much better. Oh well, what difference does it make? Good thing I've already snagged Carter. Too late for him to run away because of a seriously bad hair day.
"Okay, I'm ready." I announce to Luka as I reappear in the living room. He gives me a look. Probably he's scared by my hair. Oh well. That's his problem. He wisely chooses not to say anything about the hair, the lack of make-up, or the truly stunning ensemble that I've managed to scrape up for the evening. Baggy black pants and a loose-fitting, short-sleeve, blue shirt. Not exactly fashion show material, but it's not that bad either.
"Um … Abby?" I hear the note of caution in his voice.
"What?" I ask, trying my best to keep the annoyance out of my own voice.
"Shoes?"
I look down. Damn, I knew I forgot something. Okay, shoes. I have some of those around here somewhere. I have a really cute pair of strappy sandals somewhere in the bottom of my closet that would go a long way toward dressing up this outfit. Too bad I'll never fit my fat feet into them. Pregnant feet? Who knew such a thing existed. And in the first trimester too. Blah, forget the sandals. Oh look, a pair of Birkenstocks sitting by the door. Perfect. They don't do much for the outfit, but at least they are black. I shove my feet into the Birks, grab my bag off the floor where I dropped it hours ago and open the door. Luka gives me a curious glance as he walks past me, but apparently decides not to say whatever he's thinking.
******
The car ride is passing in relative peace. We make a little small talk, but of course I don't have too much to say, considering that Luka is unaware of the consuming event in my life. There are a few moments of strained silence, but we manage to recover by talking about work … or Susan.
"You really like her, huh?" I finally ask him. It's become kind of obvious to me as he's talked about her.
"Sure, what's not to like?" He says. I wait, but he doesn't expand on those thoughts.
"Nothing." I finally answer. "Susan's great. But I'm supposed to say that. It's sort of a best friend's job."
"You two are pretty close, aren't you?"
"Yeah. We are. It's nice. I haven't had a lot of … girl friends, you know?"
"She only has good things to say about you. She talks about you all the time."
"Yeah, well … I pay her to do that."
"So … what does she say about me?"
I can't help it, I start laughing. I look over at him, wondering if he's serious. But he looks … embarrassed? Maybe he is serious. Well, how very junior high. "Don't put me in the middle of this. I'm not playing matchmaker."
"I wasn't asking you to. I just wondered what she says about me."
"She likes you."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Good." He says, with a smile.
"She'd be lucky to have you." He looks at me skeptically. "Really."
"Yeah? You wouldn't mind?"
"I want you both to be happy. You both deserve some happiness. If you found it together …" I trail off and shrug.
"Then we could be just like you and Carter?" He says with some sarcasm, I suspect.
"Sure. Who wouldn't want to be like Carter and me? Happily married, having a --" I break off abruptly when I realize what I'm about to say.
"What?" he asks.
"Nothing." I don't know why I'm so reluctant to share the news of the baby. Just being overly cautious, I guess. "Oh look! Ice cream!" We've just passed one of those corner ice cream shacks that sports a line wrapped twice around a city block. God I want some ice cream. "Do you think they have ice cream at the restaurant?"
Luka gives me a questioning look, but then says, "I don't know, but I guess we're about to find out." Oh, we're at the restaurant already. And I'm that much closer to some food. Works for me.
Of course, once we get inside, it becomes obvious that I'm not going to get to eat anytime soon as Susan and John are nowhere to be seen. Oh great, now we have to wait for them to show up. Then we'll have to wait for a table. And then wait for the server. Then wait for the food. "Oh God, I'm never going to get to eat."
"Are you hungry?" Luka asks.
Well now, that's an understatement. I nod as I start rifling through my bag. There must be something to eat in here. Not enough to fill me up, but something is better than nothing. I need sugar. I need chocolate. There should be some chocolate in here somewhere. I start pulling stuff out so that I can search more easily. "Can you hold this?" I ask Luka, handing him my wallet, my cell phone, a comb, some candy bar wrappers, sunglasses, date book, an empty box of animals crackers, make-up bag, a book, keys , a toothbrush …
"I don't know how women can carry all this … stuff." Luka says, juggling all the items in his hands. "What are you doing, anyway?"
"I know there's candy in here somewhere … aha!" I say triumphantly as I come up with a tiny bag of M&M's. Chocolate. Thank God. It's not ice cream or a four-course meal, but it'll do for now. I rip open the bag gleefully, and watch in horror as my brightly-colored candy pieces scatter all over the floor. I make a fruitless attempt to catch them and only succeed in dropping my purse, scattering the remaining contents all over the floor.
"Dammit!" And then I burst into tears. Luka is staring at me with his mouth hanging open, no doubt wondering if the real Abby has been kidnapped and replaced by a pod person.
"Abby? Maybe you should sit down." He tucks all my junk into the crook of one arm and propels me to a chair in the corner of the waiting area. I sit down and wipe the tears while he picks up and replaces the spilled contents of my bag. He hands my refilled bag back to me, crouching down in front of the chair to inspect me.
"Thanks," I say, still sniffling. I wipe away the tears. "Sorry." He's looking at my hand resting protectively over my belly, its usual spot these days. He looks up and me with a small smile.
"Congratulations." I just look at him for a minute before retuning the smile. "You are pregnant, right?"
"Yeah." I nod in affirmation. "What tipped you off?" I ask with a laugh. "Was it this lovely display here? Or was it the snacks, the naps, the mood swings, the dizzy spells?"
He laughs. "Yes, that. And the book of baby names in your bag."
"Oh. Yeah, that might do it." We're still chuckling over that when the door opens and in walks the other half of the double date. John sees me sitting in the chair laughing, but with a tear-stained face while Luka is squatting down in front of me. He throws me a questioning look. But before I can answer, Luka straightens up and extends his hand to Carter, offering him congratulations as well.
"Abby … told you?" John asks Luka, shaking his hand. Susan's looking on with a grin.
"He spent more than five minutes with me, so it wasn't too hard for him to guess." I say, making everyone laugh.
"Ah, yeah … so I guess you had enough time for a dozen cravings, several mood swings, and a total meltdown?" John suggests good naturedly coming over and helping me up, putting his arm around my waist.
"That's about right. Only I also had time for a few memory lapses. But hey, at least I didn't fall asleep. I did spill my M&M's, though so … now that you're here, can we eat?"
He shakes his head and laughs before going off to talk to the hostess. We get seated remarkably fast, our server shows up quickly, and I somehow manage to refrain from ordering one of everything on the menu. I do, however, order a big meal and a couple of appetizers that I might even be willing to share.
"Hungry, Abby?" Susan asks after witnessing my enthusiasm for ordering dinner.
"All Abby thinks about these days is food." Carter says as he smiles over at me. He drapes his arm around my shoulders, and I slide over on the booth to sit closer to him.
"Food is not all I think about. There's more to my life than food."
"But mostly it's all about food."
"And sleep."
"And food."
"And sex." He laughs a throaty laugh and leans down to kiss me. I kiss him back and he deepens the kiss.
"Too much information." I vaguely hear Susan say. But I'm not really paying much attention as I'm somewhat distracted by John's hand running along the outside of my thigh, up my side and then back down again. I slip my arms around his neck and really get into the kiss.
"Uh, guys? Guys? Hey!" I pull away from Carter and turn to look at Susan. She and Luka are looking at us incredulously. "We don't need a demonstration." She tells us. Luka looks uncomfortable and John is blushing as he gently pushes me away from him. So I'd practically crawled up onto his lap. Is that such a big deal?
"Sorry." Carter says. Although apparently he's apologizing to Luka and Susan. What about me? I'm the one he just pushed away. Maybe I'll just have to sit here and pout for a while. The others chatter on about work and whatever else while I concentrate on sitting sullenly in my corner of the booth, keeping as much distant between Carter and I as possible.
Of course, none of this is lost on him. He keeps sliding sideways glances at me, and finally he leans over and whispers, "It's a good thing I think you're cute when you're moody like this."
"I am not moody." I say it loud enough that Susan and Luka stop their conversation and look over at us.
"Okay, sweetie." He says, probably trying to avoid arguing in front of our friends.
And he is rewarded by me sticking my tongue out at him. "Don't patronize me. I can't help it. You know that." I sniffle and fight back the tears. "I hate this. I hate feeling like this. Sometimes I think this whole thing was a bad idea."
Carter looks a little stunned and Susan looks a little taken aback. No one seems to know what to say. It's Luka who finds his voice first.
"I know it's not easy, Abby. But it's worth it. You'll see."
"Really?"
"Yeah." Susan chimes in. "You know, all the inconveniences of being a parent don't really matter at all compared to what you get in return. Of course, I wouldn't know about the pregnancy part."
I sniffle and take a deep breath. "I'll let you know." I tell her. She smiles. I smile back. The guys looked relieved. Crisis averted. And since our food seems to be making its way to our table, the other crisis of the evening seems to be under control as well.
The rest of the meal passes pleasantly. We talk and laugh, sharing stories of work as well as our lives. Susan and Luka probably hear a lot more about the baby than they ever wanted to, but they are gracious enough to feign interest in the face of our excitement. This whole foursome is surprisingly comfortable and not nearly as weird as I expected it to feel. We might have to do this more often.
It's over coffee (decaf for me) and dessert (ice cream!) that the distinctive sound of a pager rings out. Simultaneously, the four of us all dig for our pagers. Seems Luka is the lucky winner this time. He steps away from the table to make a quick phone call and then returns to tell us all that he's been called into work. We assure him that we'll get Susan home safe and sound and watch him depart. Some of us, namely Susan, watch a little a longer than others.
I give her a little kick under the table and when she looks up at me, I waggle my eyebrows at her, I trait I think I've picked up from Carter.
"What?" she asks, as if she doesn't know.
"So Luka and I had a nice conversation on the way over here. All about you."
"Really? What did he say about me?"
I tip my head back and laugh. "You sound just like him. He asked me the exact same thing. I feel like I'm back in seventh grade. Maybe I can pass him a note for you in study hall."
"Haha." Susan says.
"You guys are hopeless," I tell her.
"Oh come on, Abby." John says. "We we're pretty hopeless once too. And Susan did a lot to help us out, so …"
"Well, I'm not sure I can recommend dating someone from work. I mean, look where it got me."
"Thanks a lot." But he's laughing, he knows I'm teasing him.
"Although," I say, turning to Susan. "It does sometimes feel like everyone in the ER is watching you all the time. Come to think of it, maybe you and Luka would be a good idea. Everyone would stop paying attention to the Carters. We'd be old news."
"At least until they find out about our new … news." John says. "And you know, we're gonna have to say something soon. We can't keep it a secret forever. There are probably already rumors going around." We both turn to Susan for confirmation of the rumor status.
"Don't look at me. I didn't say a word."
"Yeah, but what have you heard?" I ask her.
"Nothing." We both give her our best skeptical looks. "I swear. For whatever reason, no one seems to have noticed that Abby's been a little … uh …"
"Nuts?" I supply.
"I was going for something more along the lines of 'sensitive.'"
"Uh-huh." I say.
"It's just a matter of time." John says. "You know, until people figure it out."
"You just want an excuse to tell everyone so you can run around bragging." I say.
"Not bragging. Sharing my excitement."
"Uh-huh." I say again, not really believing him anymore than I believed Susan. He just laughs and kisses my cheek. And then distracts me with the remaining few bites of his cake. I know exactly what he's doing … but hey, it's cake. So I let myself be distracted. We linger on over coffee, even once the check has been paid. John and I are happily discussing our progress, or lack thereof, in coming up with baby names, and Susan is pretending to care. It's one of those happy, normal little moments. One of those moments when it seems like nothing will ever go wrong. But then something does.
It's as I'm sitting and laughing with my husband and my best friend that I first feel the pain.