Disclaimer: See first chapter.
PS: Since it is almost Christmas, the cast will perform "Oh, Santa" for your reading pleasure.
ERIK: *runs out in a Santa suit without the beard, hat and belt* I am NOT going to be Santa Claus!
PS: *pouts* Why not?
ERIK: Someone took my hat and belt! And my beard!
PS: Don't be ridiculous. I didn't give you a beard.
ERIK: Why not?
PS: You look better without one. Not to mention younger.
ERIK: That's not saying much.
(A/N: Aww! Poor Erik! We love you!)
PS: And as for the belt and hat... well, you don't really need them, do you?
ERIK: I guess not.
PS: Great! Now, be a good Santa and go get ready. *ushers him offstage, then looks around* FIRMIN! PIANGI! ANDRE! Front and center!
FIRMIN, PIANGI, and ANDRE: *Run out from various areas and line up in front of PS*
PS: *begins pacing in front of them* Now, you all have your parts. I expect perfection from each and every one of you!
(A/N: Considering who I'm talking to, that's a LOT to ask.)
PS: *continuing* Now, get to your spots and wait for your cues.
F, P, & A: *scatter*
PS: Raoul, you ready?
RAOUL: Ready!
PS: Great! Ladies and Gentlemen. "Oh, Santa"!
* * * * *
OH, SANTA!
*curtain opens to reveal RAOUL standing in a cheery living room set with a Christmas tree, decorations, and a fireplace*
PS: *from offstage* It's Christmas Eve and Raoul is anxiously awaiting the arrival of Santa with a plate of cookies.
RAOUL: I made them myself!
PS: ...
RAOUL: What? Is that weird?
PS: No. Actually it explains a lot. *starts music*
RAOUL: *sings* Oh Santa! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come. And I've got cookies... three yummy cookies. Just for you for when you come, only for you for when you come! Because it's Christmas. *knock, knock, knock* Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who brings presents for a good Vicomte like me, a real good Vicomte like me?
PS: Raoul is surprised to be greeted not by Santa, but by crafty bank robber.
RAOUL: *opens door* Who are you?
FIRMIN: I'm a bank robber! And I've come to rob your bank, oh yes, I've come to rob your bank. And I've come to take your dimes and swipe your nickels. So stand back, step aside you silly pickle, and let me in.
PS: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas Raoul makes an offering.
RAOUL: *lets FIRMIN in* I'm not a banker. I don't have a bank my robbing friend, but I have cookies, three yummy cookies. And I don't have nickels, but please take this my robbing friend, eat one of these my robbing friend. They are for Santa, but you may have one. *gives FIRMIN a cookie*
PS: The bank robber is truly touched by Raoul's goodwill, but Raoul, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing Santa.
RAOUL: Oh Santa! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come.
FIRMIN: *simultaneously* I'm a bank robber! And I've come to rob your bank, oh yes, I've come to rob your bank.
RAOUL: And I've got cookies...
FIRMIN: You shared a cookie.
RAOUL: Two yummy cookies.
FIRMIN: A yummy cookie.
RAOUL: Just for you for when you come, only for you for when you come!
FIRMIN: Though I'd love to take your dimes, perhaps another time.
BOTH: Because it's Christmas. *knock, knock, knock*
RAOUL: Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who brings presents for a good Vicomte like me, a real good Vicomte like me?
PS: Once again it is not Santa who comes to the door, but this time a savage Norseman.
RAOUL: *opens door* Who are you?
PIANGI: I'm a Viking! I've come to take your land! Oh yes, I've come to take your land! And I've come to burn your crops and steal your horses. And I've come to step on your chickens. AND SOIL YOUR QUILTS! Oi! Oi.
PS: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas Raoul makes and offering.
RAOUL: *lets PIANGI in* I don't have plants. I don't have land my Viking friend, but I have cookies. Two yummy cookies. And I don't have horses. But please take this my Viking friend, eat one of these my Viking friend. They are for Santa. But you may have one. *gives PIANGI a cookie*
PS: The Viking is also touched by Raoul's goodwill, but Raoul, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing Santa.
RAOUL: Oh Santa! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come.
PIANGI: *simultaneously* I'm a Viking! I've come to take your land! Oh yes, I've come to take your land!
RAOUL: And I've got cookies.
PIANGI: You shared a cookie.
RAOUL: A yummy cookie.
PIANGI: A yummy cookie.
RAOUL: Just for you for when you come, only for you for when you come!
PIANGI: Though I'd love to soil your quilts, I don't think that I wilt.
BOTH: Because it's Christmas. *knock, knock, knock*
RAOUL: Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who brings presents for a good Vicomte like me, a real good Vicomte like me?
PS: Raoul is greeted now by an agent of the Internal Revenue Service.
RAOUL: *opens door* Who're you?
ANDRE: I'm from the IRS. And I've come to tax your-- *SLAM*
RAOUL: Oh Santa! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come!
ERIK: *Santa squeezes down the chimney in a Santa suit, sans belt, sans hat, sans beard*
RAOUL: It's finally Santa. It's finally him. At last the one who brings presents for a good Vicomte like me, a real good Vicomte like me!
ERIK: I'm Santa. And I've come to bring you gifts. Oh yes! I've come to bring you gifts. And I've come to stuff your stocking. Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho. And I've come to giggle my belly, and wiggle my... nose. *notices FIRMIN has his hat and PIANGI has his belt* Hey! Wait a minute! Isn't that my belt? And what are you doing with my hat? *gasps* So you're the ones.
FIRMIN: Wait a minute. I can explain!
PIANGI: We've changed!
ERIK: Nobody messes with Santa. You know that don't you! You've been very naughty. And I've got a list! *reaches into his sack and pulls out a Punjab lasso*
FIRMIN and PIANGI: *run away*
ERIK: *runs after them*
ANDRE: *enters* Did you claim that?
RAOUL: *confused* Merry... Christmas!
* * * * *
A/N: Like it? Hate it? Requests? MERRY CHRISTMAS!
PS: Since it is almost Christmas, the cast will perform "Oh, Santa" for your reading pleasure.
ERIK: *runs out in a Santa suit without the beard, hat and belt* I am NOT going to be Santa Claus!
PS: *pouts* Why not?
ERIK: Someone took my hat and belt! And my beard!
PS: Don't be ridiculous. I didn't give you a beard.
ERIK: Why not?
PS: You look better without one. Not to mention younger.
ERIK: That's not saying much.
(A/N: Aww! Poor Erik! We love you!)
PS: And as for the belt and hat... well, you don't really need them, do you?
ERIK: I guess not.
PS: Great! Now, be a good Santa and go get ready. *ushers him offstage, then looks around* FIRMIN! PIANGI! ANDRE! Front and center!
FIRMIN, PIANGI, and ANDRE: *Run out from various areas and line up in front of PS*
PS: *begins pacing in front of them* Now, you all have your parts. I expect perfection from each and every one of you!
(A/N: Considering who I'm talking to, that's a LOT to ask.)
PS: *continuing* Now, get to your spots and wait for your cues.
F, P, & A: *scatter*
PS: Raoul, you ready?
RAOUL: Ready!
PS: Great! Ladies and Gentlemen. "Oh, Santa"!
* * * * *
OH, SANTA!
*curtain opens to reveal RAOUL standing in a cheery living room set with a Christmas tree, decorations, and a fireplace*
PS: *from offstage* It's Christmas Eve and Raoul is anxiously awaiting the arrival of Santa with a plate of cookies.
RAOUL: I made them myself!
PS: ...
RAOUL: What? Is that weird?
PS: No. Actually it explains a lot. *starts music*
RAOUL: *sings* Oh Santa! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come. And I've got cookies... three yummy cookies. Just for you for when you come, only for you for when you come! Because it's Christmas. *knock, knock, knock* Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who brings presents for a good Vicomte like me, a real good Vicomte like me?
PS: Raoul is surprised to be greeted not by Santa, but by crafty bank robber.
RAOUL: *opens door* Who are you?
FIRMIN: I'm a bank robber! And I've come to rob your bank, oh yes, I've come to rob your bank. And I've come to take your dimes and swipe your nickels. So stand back, step aside you silly pickle, and let me in.
PS: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas Raoul makes an offering.
RAOUL: *lets FIRMIN in* I'm not a banker. I don't have a bank my robbing friend, but I have cookies, three yummy cookies. And I don't have nickels, but please take this my robbing friend, eat one of these my robbing friend. They are for Santa, but you may have one. *gives FIRMIN a cookie*
PS: The bank robber is truly touched by Raoul's goodwill, but Raoul, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing Santa.
RAOUL: Oh Santa! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come.
FIRMIN: *simultaneously* I'm a bank robber! And I've come to rob your bank, oh yes, I've come to rob your bank.
RAOUL: And I've got cookies...
FIRMIN: You shared a cookie.
RAOUL: Two yummy cookies.
FIRMIN: A yummy cookie.
RAOUL: Just for you for when you come, only for you for when you come!
FIRMIN: Though I'd love to take your dimes, perhaps another time.
BOTH: Because it's Christmas. *knock, knock, knock*
RAOUL: Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who brings presents for a good Vicomte like me, a real good Vicomte like me?
PS: Once again it is not Santa who comes to the door, but this time a savage Norseman.
RAOUL: *opens door* Who are you?
PIANGI: I'm a Viking! I've come to take your land! Oh yes, I've come to take your land! And I've come to burn your crops and steal your horses. And I've come to step on your chickens. AND SOIL YOUR QUILTS! Oi! Oi.
PS: Although frightened by the intruder, in the spirit of Christmas Raoul makes and offering.
RAOUL: *lets PIANGI in* I don't have plants. I don't have land my Viking friend, but I have cookies. Two yummy cookies. And I don't have horses. But please take this my Viking friend, eat one of these my Viking friend. They are for Santa. But you may have one. *gives PIANGI a cookie*
PS: The Viking is also touched by Raoul's goodwill, but Raoul, although momentarily distracted, is still excited about seeing Santa.
RAOUL: Oh Santa! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come.
PIANGI: *simultaneously* I'm a Viking! I've come to take your land! Oh yes, I've come to take your land!
RAOUL: And I've got cookies.
PIANGI: You shared a cookie.
RAOUL: A yummy cookie.
PIANGI: A yummy cookie.
RAOUL: Just for you for when you come, only for you for when you come!
PIANGI: Though I'd love to soil your quilts, I don't think that I wilt.
BOTH: Because it's Christmas. *knock, knock, knock*
RAOUL: Could that be Santa? Could that be him? Could it be the one who brings presents for a good Vicomte like me, a real good Vicomte like me?
PS: Raoul is greeted now by an agent of the Internal Revenue Service.
RAOUL: *opens door* Who're you?
ANDRE: I'm from the IRS. And I've come to tax your-- *SLAM*
RAOUL: Oh Santa! I can't wait for you to come. I just can't wait for you to come!
ERIK: *Santa squeezes down the chimney in a Santa suit, sans belt, sans hat, sans beard*
RAOUL: It's finally Santa. It's finally him. At last the one who brings presents for a good Vicomte like me, a real good Vicomte like me!
ERIK: I'm Santa. And I've come to bring you gifts. Oh yes! I've come to bring you gifts. And I've come to stuff your stocking. Ho, Ho, Ho, Ho. And I've come to giggle my belly, and wiggle my... nose. *notices FIRMIN has his hat and PIANGI has his belt* Hey! Wait a minute! Isn't that my belt? And what are you doing with my hat? *gasps* So you're the ones.
FIRMIN: Wait a minute. I can explain!
PIANGI: We've changed!
ERIK: Nobody messes with Santa. You know that don't you! You've been very naughty. And I've got a list! *reaches into his sack and pulls out a Punjab lasso*
FIRMIN and PIANGI: *run away*
ERIK: *runs after them*
ANDRE: *enters* Did you claim that?
RAOUL: *confused* Merry... Christmas!
* * * * *
A/N: Like it? Hate it? Requests? MERRY CHRISTMAS!