** Tourniquet **
Chapter I: - Lost Words -
James' P.O.V.
(( ** Flash Back ** ))
I tried to kill the pain. But only brought more. I lay dying. And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.
"Come on Mate this is ridiculous!" I heard Sirius saying as I entered to the Great Hall for the last time in the school year.
"Why?" I came out with that grin Sirius hates. That one that says 'I'll do it whether you like it or not!'
I heard an annoyed sigh followed by a gasp. "Oh! Never mind, Prongsy- donsey."
"Oki-doky Padfoot" I joked and chuckled. "So, are you with me?"
He looked at me as if it was a really silly question. "I don't know what makes you think this time will be different but, do I have a choice?"
I shook my head 'no' and smiled brightly then patted his back friendly. "Great! That's why you are my best friend. Cause you are, you know?"
He just nodded staring at the floor, hands inside his pockets. We were now sitting at the Gryffindor table in a far corner from the professors. I didn't really had much to eat, just mashed potatoes and some roast beef. I didn't feel like eating at that moment and no I wasn't sick as Remus stated, I was just sort of 'busy'.
Her hair flung with an inexistent breeze and her fair skin looked slightly blushed, but I knew it wasn't blushed, that was how her cheeks looked always. I had examined her face with such care that I knew every spot in it. I had stared that amount of time into her eyes that I almost knew how many colors conformed that emerald glowing green. I had count the number of curls that usually laid heavily over her shoulders, those flame red curls that smell like heaven. I could recognize her perfume that had a peach essence with some roses one from a mile away. I knew her so well, we were so close and at the same time so far away.
Peter shook me frantically repeating my name. "James, James! " He said, but I didn't want to wake up, I didn't want to stop staring at her.
"Prongs!" Finally Sirius shouted and I looked at him half frowning. "What?!" I said as loud as he called my name.
"Is time." My knees started shaking badly and I could feel the sweat of my hands increasing.
"Yeah, time .." I mumbled between my teeth and got up. I walked to her slowly caring for every step, one mistake and I would fall into madness. I stood next to her cheering myself, then looked at Sirius, Remus and Peter who they all gave me thumbs up and bright smiles.
"Eva - " I heard myself saying. Then shook my head slightly. "Lily ..." My deep voice was lost in the crowd. She turned to me interrupting her conversation and frowned.
"What?!" She said coolly but that didn't turn me off, I thought I would change that tone.
"Can we talk?" She frowned harder ( If that's even possible ) then said. "That's what we are doing, aren't we, Potter?"
She was right, how could I be so stupid? "I mean . alone" This last word was a whisper in an intend to keep it secret, but it was too late, the crowd around us was staring paying more attention to us that to their own food.
Lily looked around and tucked a piece of her gorgeous shinny hair behind her ear then groaned. "Okay" And we walked out the Hall together. This was it, the time had been set, I couldn't turn back, there was no way out.
I chose the place, a quiet one between the stairwell and the wall, it was a bit dark but I still could see every detail of her face, I was almost sure she could see mine.
"So?" She groaned again. My mouth was dry, my hands sweaty as hell, my knees still trembling but my voice (surprisingly) wasn't weak and didn't sound distant. I was really confident, I really wanted to do this.
"I love you" I heard myself saying, a tremendous impulse of running off came to me but I hold it just to watch what was happening next. Her face didn't show hate, neither love, she didn't look astonish, she just looked as Lily, the normal one, careless, cold, but still extremely beautiful.
(( ** Back to Present ** ))
I opened my eyes in the middle of the night, the slight snore coming from Sirius' nose caught my ear while Remus sighed deeply. I was at home, not at school, laying on my bed, Sirius and Remus laying on two conjured beds lost in a deep sleep. I looked around trying to find my blankets planning to get them back, when something else distracted me.
I took the piece of paper that had fallen from the night table next to Remus' bed. A picture faced me as I turned it around. Remus, with his dirty blonde almost light brown hair swinging, his eyes ( as always ) looked tired and old but his smile revealed his young soul, next to him Lily with her luscious lucks fixed in a messy ponytail hugging him from the waist a bright smile drawn in her face and her eyes full of life, it was well known for me that they were really good friends, both were prefects and pretty smart people, best in their classes, and they had something quite important in common, I really cared for both of them.
Chapter I: - Lost Words -
James' P.O.V.
(( ** Flash Back ** ))
I tried to kill the pain. But only brought more. I lay dying. And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal.
"Come on Mate this is ridiculous!" I heard Sirius saying as I entered to the Great Hall for the last time in the school year.
"Why?" I came out with that grin Sirius hates. That one that says 'I'll do it whether you like it or not!'
I heard an annoyed sigh followed by a gasp. "Oh! Never mind, Prongsy- donsey."
"Oki-doky Padfoot" I joked and chuckled. "So, are you with me?"
He looked at me as if it was a really silly question. "I don't know what makes you think this time will be different but, do I have a choice?"
I shook my head 'no' and smiled brightly then patted his back friendly. "Great! That's why you are my best friend. Cause you are, you know?"
He just nodded staring at the floor, hands inside his pockets. We were now sitting at the Gryffindor table in a far corner from the professors. I didn't really had much to eat, just mashed potatoes and some roast beef. I didn't feel like eating at that moment and no I wasn't sick as Remus stated, I was just sort of 'busy'.
Her hair flung with an inexistent breeze and her fair skin looked slightly blushed, but I knew it wasn't blushed, that was how her cheeks looked always. I had examined her face with such care that I knew every spot in it. I had stared that amount of time into her eyes that I almost knew how many colors conformed that emerald glowing green. I had count the number of curls that usually laid heavily over her shoulders, those flame red curls that smell like heaven. I could recognize her perfume that had a peach essence with some roses one from a mile away. I knew her so well, we were so close and at the same time so far away.
Peter shook me frantically repeating my name. "James, James! " He said, but I didn't want to wake up, I didn't want to stop staring at her.
"Prongs!" Finally Sirius shouted and I looked at him half frowning. "What?!" I said as loud as he called my name.
"Is time." My knees started shaking badly and I could feel the sweat of my hands increasing.
"Yeah, time .." I mumbled between my teeth and got up. I walked to her slowly caring for every step, one mistake and I would fall into madness. I stood next to her cheering myself, then looked at Sirius, Remus and Peter who they all gave me thumbs up and bright smiles.
"Eva - " I heard myself saying. Then shook my head slightly. "Lily ..." My deep voice was lost in the crowd. She turned to me interrupting her conversation and frowned.
"What?!" She said coolly but that didn't turn me off, I thought I would change that tone.
"Can we talk?" She frowned harder ( If that's even possible ) then said. "That's what we are doing, aren't we, Potter?"
She was right, how could I be so stupid? "I mean . alone" This last word was a whisper in an intend to keep it secret, but it was too late, the crowd around us was staring paying more attention to us that to their own food.
Lily looked around and tucked a piece of her gorgeous shinny hair behind her ear then groaned. "Okay" And we walked out the Hall together. This was it, the time had been set, I couldn't turn back, there was no way out.
I chose the place, a quiet one between the stairwell and the wall, it was a bit dark but I still could see every detail of her face, I was almost sure she could see mine.
"So?" She groaned again. My mouth was dry, my hands sweaty as hell, my knees still trembling but my voice (surprisingly) wasn't weak and didn't sound distant. I was really confident, I really wanted to do this.
"I love you" I heard myself saying, a tremendous impulse of running off came to me but I hold it just to watch what was happening next. Her face didn't show hate, neither love, she didn't look astonish, she just looked as Lily, the normal one, careless, cold, but still extremely beautiful.
(( ** Back to Present ** ))
I opened my eyes in the middle of the night, the slight snore coming from Sirius' nose caught my ear while Remus sighed deeply. I was at home, not at school, laying on my bed, Sirius and Remus laying on two conjured beds lost in a deep sleep. I looked around trying to find my blankets planning to get them back, when something else distracted me.
I took the piece of paper that had fallen from the night table next to Remus' bed. A picture faced me as I turned it around. Remus, with his dirty blonde almost light brown hair swinging, his eyes ( as always ) looked tired and old but his smile revealed his young soul, next to him Lily with her luscious lucks fixed in a messy ponytail hugging him from the waist a bright smile drawn in her face and her eyes full of life, it was well known for me that they were really good friends, both were prefects and pretty smart people, best in their classes, and they had something quite important in common, I really cared for both of them.