Chapter 4



After the door was slammed in his face at the Lopez-Fitzgerald home, Ethan went back home. He found Gwen, alone in their bed, passed out, a half-empty bottle of Vodka in her hand. Gwen always drank when she couldn't handle what was happening in her life. She got drunk almost every night for a month following Sarah's death.

Taking the bottle out of her hand.

Ethan- "Gwen, what are we going to do now?"

He tossed the bottle into the trashcan by the door. Turned off the lights and grabbed a blanket that was draped over a chair by the door. Ethan closed the door behind him.

Ethan went out to sleep on the couch. He shut his eyes to the image of Theresa's beautiful face.

The next morning Gwen awoke, still in her clothes, alone, with a pounding headache.

She sat up and put a hand to her head, as if to try to ease the excruciating pain.

Gwen- "Ethan?"

She got up and walked to the door. She turned the knob and walked out to the living room.

Gwen- "Ethan?"

Ethan was still sleeping when Gwen walked in the room.

Gwen- "Ethan?"

Ethan stirs and wakes up to Gwen calling his name.

Ethan- "Gwen, honey, is that you?"

Gwen- "Ethan, sweetheart, what are you doing sleeping out here?"

Ethan- "Oh, you're awake." Rubbing his eyes. "I just thought it would be best if I did."

Gwen- "Why?"

Ethan- "Well…Honey, you were passed out on the bed."

Gwen- "Well, thank you for the consideration."

Ethan smiles.

Ethan- "So, can I make you a nice Christmas breakfast?"

Gwen- "I have such a headache."

Ethan- "You did get pretty plastered last night. Are you okay?"

Gwen- "Sure."

Ethan- "It's just that you don't drink unless you can't deal with something pretty horrible. The last time I saw you like that, it was the day of Sarah's funeral."

Gwen- "Ethan, I did just find out that I can never have children. I think that would account for something pretty horrible. Don't you?"

Ethan- "Well, sure. But we could always adopt. This isn't the end of the world."

Gwen- "But Ethan, I could have had a child right now. We would be swamping her with Christmas gifts right now. Not Christmas wreaths that are above her grave. And it is all Theresa's fault."

Ethan- "No it's not."

Gwen- "Don't tell me you are going to try and protect that bitch again."

Ethan- "I'm not trying to protect her. I just think that it was my fault. Not hers."

Gwen- "Ethan, she chased us out to LA; she tried to steal you away from me. She led me to go to the apartment. There she pushed me. I fell. That led me to go into a critical condition in which you had to choose me or the baby. You chose me. Ethan, it was her fault that Sarah died."

Ethan- "No, it was mine. I shouldn't have kissed her. If I hadn't, you wouldn't have seen us kissing on TV, and Sarah would be alive and healthy right now."

Gwen- "Ethan, you never told me why you kissed her."

Ethan- "I just had too much to drink, we got to talking and… we got a little carried away. That's all."

Gwen- "That's all! That's all! You forgot the fact that you played a part in our daughter's death! You forgot that that means I can no longer get pregnant! You forgot that I will never be a mother!"

Ethan- "Gwen… I… I didn't forget. I just didn't mean…"

Gwen snatches her coat from the hook by the front door and races to put it on.

Ethan- "Gwen, where are you going?"

Gwen- "I'm going for a walk."

Ethan gets up.

Ethan- "Okay, well the fresh air will do us both some good."

Gwen- "Alone."

Ethan stands where he is and watches Gwen walk out and slam the door, making the house shudder.

Gwen walks the way to Sheridan's cottage. She finds Luis and Sheridan drinking coffee, on the couch, watching Little Martin play with his new toys. Gwen knocks. Sheridan opens the door.

Sheridan- "Gwen, honey. I hoped you would come by. Where's Ethan?"

Gwen- "That's why I'm here."

Sheridan- "Why, what happened?"

Gwen- "Can we talk?"

Sheridan- "Sure we can, please honey, come in. Luis, will you give us a minute."

Luis- "Oh, I get it. Girl talk."

Sheridan- "Exactly. Thank you, Sweetheart."

Luis picks up Martin, who is holding a brand new red fire engine.

Walking to the kitchen. Luis- "Come on, Little Guy. We're not wanted here. Someday I'll tell you all about women kicking us out of the room to have 'girl talks.' That is just a code word so that they can talk about us guys."

Sheridan glares at her husband.

Luis- "What? I'm giving the kid wisdom for his future here."

Sheridan turns to Gwen.

Sheridan- "What's the matter, Gwen?"

Gwen- "You know how I went to have those tests done a couple of weeks ago."

Sheridan- "Sure, did the results come in?"

Gwen- "Yeah. Looks like our kids will never be able to play with each other." She forces a smile.

Sheridan knew exactly what she was saying. She was hoping that Gwen wouldn't say something like that.

Sheridan grabs her best friend into and intimate embrace.

Sheridan- "Oh Honey, I'm so sorry. Truly, I am. It'll be okay."

Gwen- "No, no it won't. I can't have kids, which was the only thing keeping me to Ethan."

Sheridan- "That's not true."

Gwen- "Yes it is. Yesterday, when I got the results, I saw his face. I knew his thoughts went straight to Theresa."

Sheridan- "That doesn't mean he doesn't love you."

Gwen- "Well I think he does. At least on some level. But his feelings for Theresa are way up in the clouds. His feelings for me are way down here. The same level as the snow."

Sheridan- "That is not true, Gwen. Ethan loves you. He married you."

Gwen- "Only because I was pregnant. And now, I can't even be that anymore."

Sheridan- "Oh, sweetie."

Gwen- "You know, that day at the apartment in LA, Theresa said something to me, that I have to admit, was the truth."

Sheridan- "What?"

Gwen- "She said that the only reason I was having a difficult pregnancy was because I was worried that Ethan would go back to her. And the only reason I was worried was because that deep down inside I knew that my husband was in love with another woman. My husband was in love with her."

Sheridan- "No, he loves you."

Gwen- "Sheridan, I am telling you, he is still in love with Theresa. Every time she is around, his eyes light up. He gets this expression on his face that he has never looked at me with."

Sheridan- "Gwen, don't do this to yourself. You don't need to go through more pain and heartache."

Gwen- "Well the question now is, what am I going to do? I know Ethan wants to be with Theresa."

Sheridan- "Did he say that?"

Gwen- "He doesn't have to."

Sheridan- "Gwen, I know that you love Ethan. I know that you don't want to leave him. And I know him enough to know that he will not leave you. No matter what. You cannot give him reason to do so, especially thinking this way. Just go home. Talk to him. Let him know how you feel. Just because you can't have a family doesn't mean that you two can't be happy. Gwen, please, take my advice."

Gwen smiles at her best friend.

Sheridan- "Go on."

Gwen- "Thanks."

They get and hug. Sheridan walks Gwen to the door and wishes her good luck. For she too saw that look in his eyes last night when Ethan saw Theresa.