A/N: thanks to Jasmine for the awesome beta... and to my non-alias friend elle for a quick grammar question

I know I said Saturday… so I'm so sorry! I couldn't find my beta… then I rewrote the entire chapter… because of some… inaccuracies. So… this is what I'll do… I'll put up another chapter of Lost in Loneliness AND put up a new fic called Bright Lights… hopefully… you guys won't kill me for the delay. ;) (but maybe for other reasons ::whistles::)

Thank you to:

alias4ever: I'm glad you like it! :) hehe… I loved the pen…sigh… that scene will always replay over and over in my head! Thanks for reading

liz: hehe… I know the story line is shaky… Lauren really is not that mean. I love mind games… :) thanks for reading

valley-girl2: now that is one long review. ::blink:: hmm… I was so …appalled by being stalked… that my stalkers decided to call it loitering over at sd-1. ;) hehe. But… hounding works too. I guess. Hehe… when did I kill Lauren off? ::scratches head:: I don't remember doing that… although I've killed Sydney a bunch of times… sigh. I have some type of Freud complex… I just don't know which one it is. :P silent pining… gah… I miss that! Hehe… yes, my inbox definitely demonstrated an influx of e-mails recently… ;) I'm glad you liked the fight scene. hmm… maybe you should calm down on the caffeine? Lol. As you said… 2 cups might be a bit much for before 4 PM?

jennycraig10: hmm… what if sydney really wasn't like that? Thanks for reading.

Sara: :) I'm glad you want more!

valley-girl2: hehe. You're funny… if you ever want to just say "hi" feel free to just e-mail me ;) hehe…

LilyoftheValley4: hmm… I know I've done an excessive amount of .. err… character betrayal on Lauren's part. But… in truth, it's to kinda make up for what's going to happen on later. You'll see what I mean… because… it all has a meaning… There is a reason why she is acting the say she is. And you have to understand, she doesn't know how to handle her power yet. It's too new for her. It's something she has yet to experience properly. Her boss is also someone who loves to abuse. She's going to be using him as a role model of sorts. But she'll settle in eventually as she sees how people react to her commands. Hehe. :) And Sydney ranting and raving… well… I was hoping to depict her in self pity actually (it's kinda a theme in all my storys sadly enough). She's out of her mind… going crazy because she's constantly struggling to appear happy when inside she's a mess. Add that to the fact that her father just died.. well… it really was a play off some words Jack Bristow said to Sydney in episode… 3.2 or 3.3… "You were my strength" or something. Well… I hope that explains some of the reasons I did what I did. ;) thanks for reading and being truthful with your comments.





Chapter 4
~ Knots and Shackles ~ (a few months into the future…)



Sydney Bristow couldn't sleep. Her bed was empty and cold. The silver moonlight drew a path into her room. The shadows seemed to dance around her bed, mocking her insomnia.

Finding out what happened to her during those two missing years made her angry. She still couldn't remember what happened. All she knew was by interviews from reliable sources. Knowing the CIA was behind her disappearance killed her. Contradictory to what she should feel, she still loved her country. So she still fought for them. She wanted to make the world a safer place for children in the future. Maybe even her progeny. But the knowledge that the CIA stripped everything away from her hurt her.

Anger burned inside her. The result was an agreement with the NSC.

A month ago, she had killed two CIA agents. She had known them and had trusted them at one time in her life. In fact, they had both been on the infiltration team for SD-6. They were the ones who had provided her with information from the LA field office and joint task force building. She had found them easy to break. She had sat there for days, using a desensitization chamber to make them talk. She broke them by using their senses against them, by messing with their minds. It disgusted her that she had to kill them. They told her that Lauren had become the director, replacing Dixon. A move that Sydney actually liked. Dixon had ruled with too much emotion. Lauren, however, lived in an idealistic world, but could also keep her emotions in check. She believed that everyone had the best intentions and interests for the US. She was also very patriotic. What she lacked in experience, she conquered with intuition.

For the past weeks, Sydney had been observing the operations CIA field agents have been carrying out. With the help of an undetectable bug placed in the building by one of her mother's employees, Sydney now had complete information on what would happen. Lauren's plans for what happened for each operation should have been successful, if only the operatives on the missions followed the plan. But for every mission, the operative thought he knew more than Lauren did, had more sense, and decided to go freelance. The outcome had been disastrous. If Sydney had not been there, some of the men would never have made it out. Although the men returned with no recollection of what happened, they were alive.

Lauren had a fairly good sense of what was to come. She sometimes questioned Director Lindsey's orders, but usually followed through with them. It was obvious that she hated Lindsey though. The orders were placed on the burner, waiting until it was imperative for them to go through. And when the missions were planned, the green agents were the ones placed on them.

The agreement had been simple. Lauren was to stay on as the task force head, but all missions had to be looked over by Vaughn. Just in case. She would then turn in some of the most wanted criminals in her mother's organization. And she had. She knew that Kevin Lynbrook would probably deride Vaughn with untrue stories, but the amount of knowledge he knew should overlook that fact.

Lauren would probably never believe that the woman she was trying to capture was the one responsible for her stay as the head of the Joint Task Force.

Vaughn and Lauren were a remarkable team professionally, she conceded. Not as brilliant as she and Vaughn had been, but they worked well enough. Vaughn had the experience that Lauren lacked. And Lauren didn't let Vaughn rule with emotion. It worked. Personally however… Sydney knew their relationship lacked something.

Turning in her bed, letting the covers rustle, her thoughts landed on Michael Vaughn.

She knew she would never see him again, but the secret desire and hope still blossomed. Remembering his smile, the one that she always thought of as hers, made her heart ache. In the time she had been home, she had not seen him use that smile on Lauren, and in some ways, it lightened her heart. Knowing that he still loved her and knowing that she couldn't go back clawed at her heart. Reliving that last kiss… it was only in her dreams that she truly lived.

Sometimes, she wished what she was still Julia Thorne, if only to take away all her pain. She would be blissfully unaware of her heartache. The fact that she was a cold-blooded killer might make up for that fact.

With Vaughn in her thoughts, she allowed her eyelids to slip shut.

Her sleep was filled with memories of before when her life made at least some sense. When Vaughn and she met in dark warehouses. In those days when she wanted to throw him against the chain-link fence and kiss him, when a simple Christmas gift held all the emotion they could speak of. Suddenly, a black fog descended on the scene playing out in front of her. Replaced were scenes of a burnt out house. Vaughn was crying in the ashes, holding the remains of a silver antique frame.

A loud knock interrupted her life in unconsciousness.

"Sydney? Honey?"

"Yeah Mom?"

"We need to go. Are you ready?"

She looked over at her alarm clock and realized that it hadn't gone off, even though the set time had gone past.

"Give me twenty minutes."

~*~*~

"Michael, can you look at this for a second?"

"Sure, Lauren. What do you need help with?"

The day in the JTF had been boring to say the least. Pouring over maps, going over missions, and meetings with analysts was not something he was fond of doing anymore. Gone was the excitement of saving a life, of saving Sydney from Sloane, the Alliance, and SD-6. Lauren was a welcome distraction.

"This picture came through the system today. No one knows how it got in. Marshall and Carrie are currently doing a search to see if they accessed any other files other than my e-mail account."

Lauren handed the print out over to her husband.

Vaughn took one look at the picture and his face blanched. "I know this design."

The complicated building plan was compartmentalized in his mind. Lauren looked at him questioningly.

He answered, "It looks like the science labs Sydney went to in Fleury. Only… they were destroyed months ago."

"Are you sure they were destroyed?"

"Yeah… I'm pretty sure… I'll pull up the file. Hold on."

As Vaughn typed in his access code when the log on screen came up, Lauren asked, "So what are our plans for tonight?"

"Well… I was kinda hoping for a peaceful night at home…"

"Okay… and what do you want to do at home?" a playful suggestive tone was evident in her voice. She leaned in for a quick kiss.

"We'll have to play by ear, sweetheart."

The computer beeped to let the distracted viewers know that the settings have been completed. Vaughn turned and looked back at the screen. He then opened the network and searched for the mission.

"It's definitely the same building Sydney infiltrated. You can see that the designs are exactly the same." Pulling up another window, Vaughn searched for the building. "But the reports all say that the building was destroyed."

"Then these plans are faulty."

"No, they might not be. They might be new plans for another building… or… Lauren, did the e-mail say who this was from?"

"Let me go check."

Vaughn followed her back to her office. His thoughts were on fire. If his suspicions were confirmed…

"It says bluebirds6," she said.

Blue bird… blue bird… OH! "Hold on, let me check up on something," he replied in a daze. Walking out of her office, Vaughn went to go find Weiss. "Eric, we need to talk."

Weiss saw the look in his eyes, and knew immediately where to go after giving Vaughn a two-minute head start.

Once Weiss was in the part of the building that he had once called The Flirting Corner, he asked, "What's going on, Mike?"

"I think Sydney just contacted Lauren by e-mail."

Weiss was the only one Vaughn told after the meeting on the pier. After the capture of Kevin Lynbrook, he had to spill about where he was getting his information. Naturally, he told Weiss simply because he knew Weiss would never do anything to harm Sydney. Although Vaughn didn't trust Weiss with her life, he trusted Weiss with his own. "What did she say?"

"She didn't say anything. She just sent a picture of a blue print of a building—"

"Did you get it analyzed?" Weiss interrupted.

"No, I didn't. I actually recognized it. It was a building in Fleury. The science labs."

"Have you told Lauren yet?"

"I didn't tell her that I think it was Sydney."

Weiss nodded his understanding. His friend was in an impossible situation. He loved both woman, although one more than the other. But, being a man of loyalty, he would never betray his vows. Sometimes, Weiss hated Vaughn for being a man of his word. Other times, he just thought Vaughn needed to eat pizza and get drunk, if only to stop making him mull over the two woman.

"What do you think she was trying to tell us?"

"I don't know… It could mean that she is going to Fleury… or it could mean that something important is going to be found there. Maybe it might be another one of Irina Derevko's important operatives. There are so many possibilities." Vaughn sighed.

"You know… maybe I could ask Lynbrook." Weiss suggested.

"You won't let me near him, will you?"

Weiss laughed. "And risk you punching him half to death? Even though he deserves it? Nah, your wife would kill me first."

"Fine. Ask him. But don't mention me… if he makes another crack about Syd again, I'll murder him."

Weiss didn't take his friend's threat lightly, knowing in all probability that he would.

"Mike, you do know that what he said about Sydney was not true right? She wouldn't do anything like that."

Vaughn closed his eyes, reliving the nightmares those words Lynbrook said to him had created. "Yeah, I know. But it doesn't help any."

Weiss looked at his friend, worried. After a short pause, he said, "I'll go talk to Lynbrook now. But try to control yourself. You won't be helping Sydney any if you're kicked off the task force."

~*~*~

Moments later, Weiss came out of the interview room. "So I guess we're going to Fleury?"

Vaughn looked back at him with a determined stare. "Yeah… I guess it's to Fleury… but we need to tell Lauren something… something that doesn't have to do with Sydney…"

~tbc~


A/N2: anyone who wants to kill me... get in line…. Right after me.