PART 5: THE LAST SUPPER
Zion, Kita and Scott entered the hospital. They were totally out of breath and their feet were numb, but they had gotten their hands on fresh foods. Some clever guy had started a supermarket again, in a relatively quiet corner of the city. He got his fresh goods from a farm.
Kita had to give him two golden bracelets for enough fruit and vegetables for the entire tribe. She always loved to wear gold, and it suited her skin, that had the colour of dark gold, and her black-caramel hair very well. Her family had been pretty rich (Kita claimed that she was a descendant of a sheik), and Kita had gathered a lot of golden jewellery over the years. But it wasn't worth that much to her anymore, the jewels from her past were only painful reminders of her memory, so she was willing to trade them to feed her tribe.
The small group went to the cafeteria, where Raja was just nursing her son. "How's Jax?"Zion asked her.
Raja took this question in and let it roll through her mind a second before she answered. "Well... Okay, I guess. He ate... well, not much, but something, and there wasn't much to eat anyway. I talked to him for a few minutes. He wasn't sick, not in the meaning of having a flu... He just looked really unhappy and scared. I really don't think he likes it here, Zion. Ofcourse, there's not much to do about it, we have to stay here until the winter's over. I suppose he'll get used to it,"Raja said.
Zion nodded. He didn't really know why Jax didn't like the city, but he had been pretty concerned over the teenage boy he considered his little brother. Well, at least Jax ate something. Maybe it was because of Raja. Maybe he could Raja to bring Jax dinner again tonight.
"Greetings, you horrible lot!"Iz called out when she and her group entered the hospital. "We've got food from a mall. There were these people there that called themselves the Mallrats, and they give to beggars. To nice for their own good -well, except for this fetish-girl and some guy that looked just like Jax,"Iz said and she threw her backpack on a table, startling little Aaron.
"It was a most productive search,"Dart concluded.
"Man, talk normal,"Iz said, rolling her eyes.
"Well, our search was... 'productive' too. We found some supermarket some guy got up and running again. We have a lot of fresh food,"Kita said.
Her voice was low and warm, felt like the Arabian wind, and she ran her fingers through her silky hair while she talked. Scott looked at her, in full admiration. How could a girl be so beautiful, so amazing? Scott could just drown in drool looking at her... oh, but Kita surely wouldn't find that appealing.
"Hey, Scotty B,"a voice said. Scott knew Iz had made up that nickname for him. He looked next to him and indeed, he saw Iz's pale face, a twinkle of conspiracy and amusement in her eyes.
"I saw how you were looking at her. Every single time. With little stars in your eyes. So cute,"Iz said, smirking.
"Aw, come on Iz, just leave me alone,"Scott sighed.
"Hey, hey, hey. Not so quick. Look, you like her, but that doesn't mean much to her. She's beautiful, she knows every man would like her. She can get every guy. That's the thing about pretty girls, they don't come to you, you go to them. You have to do something special, so that she notices you. Right now, I doubt if she even knows your name... But you know what always works: cook her dinner. A fabulous, romantic dinner. Oh, and be honest and sincere, girls like that. Tell them how you really feel about them, not covered with all that macho-stuff. Just tell your true, deep feelings, that's what make us gals swoon,"Iz said.
"Really?"Scott said, a bit insecure.
"Oh yeah. A bit of poetry, maybe. You know, we like guys that are in touch with their feelings. But eh, you gotta fix your looks, coz girls don't like a guy that looks like he fell outta bed, right into his clothes. So put on something nice, and dear god, would you brush your hair for a change!"Iz said.
"And that'll work?"Scott asked, hopeful.
"Guaranteed. See, I'm not all bad,"Iz said with a wink and left again.
Ask Kita for dinner... Scott thought about the idea. Would he have the nerve to go and ask her? Kita was so beautiful... If he would wait, some other guy would get her! No way! He was going to ask her to dinner, and it would be the most perfect dinner ever!
*
Kera, Justine and Randy stood in the streets, that were drowing in the golden-red light of the setting sun. Faced by a gang, that consisted of five people, of which one was armed. They stood there, on the abondoned, silent streets, like characters from an old western-movie. They were outnumbered. They were going to have to give up their food.
"Hey, I already said: I'm done asking nicely. Hand over the food, kiddie's,"the leader of the gang sat, pressing his fingertip against the sharp point of his knife. A little blood welled up on his finger.
"Go. To. Hell. We worked hard for this food, and it will be used to feed our tribe. If you want food, go find your own. But this is ours,"Justine said in a cold, determined voice. Completely relaxed, like people are when they're enfuriated.
"What did you say?"the leader asked, amazed and indignated. He didn't get to hear the word 'no' often enough, and wasn't used to being denied something.
"I said: go to hell! Our food, okay? This ain't the travelling supermarket, you lazy bitch! Now would you let me pass already, or do you wanna see me getting really pissed off?!"Justine asked, as if there was nothing to be afraid of.
"Er, J-Jus... Maybe we should give him what he wants, coz you know... knife?"Randy said, intimidated.
"You should listen to your buddy,"the leader now said.
"Our tribe is hungry. Justine is right, we're not giving up our food,"Kera said. "Come on, guys, let's just go." Kera already started walking, but the leader grabbed her and put his knife against her pale, soft troath.
"What do you got to say now?"he asked.
But Kera wasn't that easily taken care off. Her power lay in her anger, but it was hard to get this girl angry. But if there was something in the world she couldn't stand, it was too be dominated and threatened by some guy who thought he was it all.
Kera's whole face turned into a mask of fury. She hadn't been kickboxing- champion five years in a row for nothing... she kicked the leader between the legs, which caused him to fall to his knees with a pathetic, high- pierced yell. She then started beating him with her bare fists, and it turned out the leader was too much of a sissy to fight back. He even let the knife fall out of his hand.
An almost scary grin twisted Justine's face. She wasn't going to sit still, and especially not during a fight.
All the other members of the little tribes of thieves stood nailed to the ground, totally stunned, not able to help their leader or pay attention to Justine and Randy. Justine took advantage of this situation by picking up a piece of wood, and knocking one of the thieves, a girl with filthy blond hair, against the head violently. The girl was knocked out and hit the asphalt unconsciously.
Justine tried to knock someone else in the head with her improvised caveman- club, but by now the thieves had noticed her and started to defend themselves.
One took the oppurtinity to go to Randy, to try and steal his food with force. "Wait, wait! Er, if you want to fight, either the kickboxer or the cavegirl will soon be available, I'm sure,"Randy said, laughing nervously.
The guy tried to hit him, but Justine knocked him out with the piece of wood. "You okay, Rand?"she asked. Randy nodded slowly in utter awe. "Good, we gotta make a run for it,"Justine said. She grabbed his hand and dragged him with her, and together with Kera, they started to run back to the hospital.
But the tribe of thieves wasn't a very ambitous one, and they weren't hungry enough to pursue Kera, Justine and Randy for more than one block.
So, after their "little kungfu-fight", as Justine had already named it, they returned to the hospital in the black of the night, tired and much later than expected, to find the others already sitting at the dinnertable.
*
Jax set foot on the stairs. Come on, he told himself harshly, it can't be that bad. Raja held his arm, and she smiled at him. It was that sweet smile again, that of a buddhist angel. If all guys would ever go through the trouble of getting to know a girl before they jump into the sack with her, Raja would have thousand lovers.
"Zion got food from a supermarket. And Iz and her gang went to some sort of mall apparently. Anyway, they've gotten a lot of great food, so we're gonna have a nice meal,"Raja babbled away. Her voice was extremely nice to listen to.
Dinner. Something so easy and trivial, something that took place at the end of everyday, yet now it seemed to be an impossible task for Jax. He hadn't enjoyed dinner in a group when he was still living in nature, he didn't enjoy being in groups of any sorts, but now it was ten times worse.
Raja seemed to understand what it was like. "Jax, I know you can do this, even though it's hard,"Raja said. She didn't say "stop being such a coward" or "what are you fussing about, it's just a normal thing to do", she was just very suppotive, and this gave Jax a little confidence. With her by his side, he walked down the stairs and into the cafeteria, where half of the tribe already took place.
Dart glared quite coldly at Raja walking next to Jax, even holding his hand. Raja obviously didn't realise what that was about at all, and gave him a hard look to warn him, as she guided Jax to a quiet corner of the cafeteria.
Trojan watched the two. So, the freak had finally decided to come down. Well, good, at least that won't cause the tribe anymore trouble. Trojan looked at Jax and felt sorry for the guy. He looked so pitiful and uncomfortable, downright scared in this place full of noisy people.
Trojan all of the sudden saw Jax's dark look fixed on him, and something that could be called a smile, if you would want to call it anything, appeared on Jax's face. For a second, Trojans mind was completely blank, and he felt dizzy for a second. Then for some reason disgust turned his stomach and he gave Jax the most hateful look in his repertory. The expression on Jax's face collapsed, and his black eyes turned to the ground, unrestorably sad. Trojan was sorry right away, but he couldn't let himself think that. He had to think of something else; think of something else!
Why?
Don't know, but just do it!
Trojan thought about something else. His gaze abondoned Jax and turned to another person in the cafeteria: Kita. The most beautiful girl in the tribe. All the guys adored her, and so did Trojan, ofcourse.
An inner voice asked him if this was really true. Trojan was puzzled by his own question, and in the silence of his own mind he claimed that it was. All the guys love a sexy chick, right? If they don't, they can't really be called men, right?! Trojan reasoned inside himself: then they would just be like... Jax.
That was the final straw (what does that mean? Trojans mind asked him), Trojan walked to Kita, firmly. Scott also approached Kita, a stupid-happy look on his face, as the great plan Iz had told him about boiled in his head, his eyes enjoying the fabulous sight of the Arabian Princess.
But the Arabian Princess was reached by Trojan first.
"Hey, Kita,"he said in a seductive, sly voice. Kita's attention was caught right away. As Kita knew all men liked her, so Trojan knew all girls found him attractive. Even a beauty-queen like Kita could hardly resist him. And he was right; a pearlwhite smile broke through on Kita's face when the tribe's pretty boy gave her his attention.
"Hey, Trojan,"she said, in a simular voice.
"You know, I was just wondering... Now that we have so much food, I'm sure a nice, little dinner could be organised. You know, in my room. We could talk by a little,"Trojan said, smiling.
Scott froze to the floor. Trojan. Trojan of all people, goddamn Trojan. Not even Kita could resist him. But... it had been his plan (okay, Iz's plan, but that didn't matter!), he had been... should have been first. Scott knew his chances completely lost for the moment, and shuffled back to his table.
At the same time, Kita was thinking this offer over. She knew exactly what guys meant when they said 'nice little dinner... in my room.' Well heck, Kita didn't have any fun in a long time, even though she was a fun-loving- girl. And Trojan was definitely hot.
She looked at Jax from the corners of her eyes, and noticed that he was watching this whole scene. Trojan was handsome, there was no doubt about that, but Jax just had this something... something special. She could really go for that. But she had experience with guys, and she knew that when you held the grapes out of reach, they'd suddenly realise they're hungry. When a girl's hard to get, she becomes more attractive. Going out with Trojan... would that be the little push Jax needed?
Maybe. And if it didn't work, who cares? At least she would have a nice dinner, maybe some action. No strings attached, and if Trojan would think so, Kita would dump him again right away, and think of another way to get Jax.
"Sure, I'll join you for dinner,"Kita said in a warm voice.
"Cool,"Trojan said. For some reason unknown to even himself, Trojan kept an eye on Jax while receiving Kita's answer. He didn't know why, but he wanted to know Jax's reaction to all of this. Jax looked to the ground with a sad look in his dark eyes. Good, Trojan thought.
Just then, Justine, Randy and Kera entered the hospital, accompanied by an unnecessary amount of noise. "We're back,"Kera said, "with a whole bunch of food. And you'll never guess what happened to us on the way back!"
*
Kita shut the door to her room. Nine o'clock, Trojan had said. A dinnerdate with a guy that was worthy of Kita; that was, needless to say, reason enough to appear at your very best.
Kita threw the few clothes she had with her out of her formica closet (one of the few pieces of furniture in the hospitalroom -that reminded Kita to decorate it sometime) and scattered them all across her room.
She went through them quickly. No, that one was no good. No, thos two things didn't match. How come it always seemed the amount of clothes you had was cut in half whenever you went out with a guy.
"Do I really have such bad taste?"Kita asked herself, holding up her embroidered jeans. She threw the piece of clothing against the wall, and made a nervous, squeaky noise. Kita wasn't a shallow person that was only interested in looks, hell no, she just wanted to look good when she went on a date.
Kita held up a short, white dress with silk sleeves. White fitted her darkgolden skin well, she knew that. Oh, but she didn't like the model of the dress; not interesting enough, and white was so... innocent and virgin- like. Kita had no intention of looking like a little angel. Oh man, she only had an hour left.
*
In meantime Trojan was downstairs in the cafeteria, playing a cardgame with himself. Raja was cleaning the dishes from the meal Kita and Trojan hadn't enjoyed. Besides those two there was no-one in the kitchen. Raja had escorted the ovely nervous, silent Jax back to his room right after dinner.
"Say, Raja? You're a pretty good cook, right?"Trojan asked the young mother.
"I guess. Why do you ask?"
"Can you cook a meal for two? A fancy meal."
"Why?"
"I've got a date with Kita, that's why I wasn't at dinner tonight. Make it something romantic, and bring it to my room when you're done, allright? Kita will be there at nine o'clock,"Trojan simply said and he left the cafeteria.
Raja opened her mouth to protest, but Trojan had already left her sight. And even if he would've stayed, Raja doubted if she would've actually made any protest. A less nicer person, with more confidence, would've just told Trojan to cook his own damn meal. As far Raja, she just started wondering what kind of food would be fit for a romantic dinner.
*
Jax lay in his room. Back to his usual pattern. He hadn't liked it in the cafeteria, not at all. The feeling he would suffocate or would be closed in by the walls was less in the relatively spacious cafeteria, but all the hard noise... And all those people looking at him. Especially Trojan. Why did Trojan hated him so much, when he didn't hate Trojan at all? Everything but that.
Jax tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep, even do it was still early. But sleep would give him a little release. From his weird mind, that dark whirlwind. Why did his thoughts have to be like that; did other people ever feel that way? Did other people ever hear voices echo against the wall, even though they were alone in their room? Did they ever see shadows creeping from the corners of their eyes? Secretly, but not too secretly, because they wanted you to see, they wanted you to ask yourself if he was going crazy...
And Jax had the feeling he was going crazy. And it wasn't a pleasant state of mind at all.
Why did this happen to him, all of the sudden? Because he could really see no visible reason why he had turned into this, why everything seemed terribly threatening all of the sudden. Or just more threatening then before. Maybe he was being punished for something.
Jax stuffed his head into his pillow and just wished he had some sleepingpills.
*
Kita finally found what she wanted: a long, sleeveless dress. Tight, to give Trojan a clear look on her perfect, voluptuous figure. It was made of a light, slightly transparent material, and it was blue -one of Kita's favorite colours. It had an interesting print on it, of tropical stuff and boats, and it was covered in golden and silver glitter. Cleavage: low. Perfect.
Kita combined it with some silver-coloured sandals. A lot of silverblue eyeshade, eyepencil for a smokey effect, to put an emphasis on her beautiful eyes. Natural-coloured lipgloss to make her full lips irresistible. Every man would beg on his knees to kiss those lips.
Kita let her full, wavy hair hang loose over her shoulders; why would she tie up such pretty hair in any way? Kita looked at herself in the mirror in the bathroom that was connected to her bedroom.
She found herself immortally beautiful and very desirable. And that wasn't vanity, Kita knew that, it was merely a fact. There's nothing wrong or arrogant about finding yourself beautiful when you truly are. That was what Kita thought, at least.
She smiled at her reflection, that smiled back to her. She gave Self in the mirror a wink and left her room. She didn't even like Trojan, she was after Jax. But despite of that, Kita was sure tonight was going to be one good night.
*
Trojan made sure once again that everything was properly placed on the little, low table. It was like of those tables Japanese people sit at when they drink tea. Trojan found it somewhere downstairs and stole a pretty veil from Iz's room to use it as table-cover. The food Raja made was served on the best two plates that could've beem found in the kitchen, and Trojan had even found some candles. Perfect.
This was the best thing you could get in a world like this. Not even a girl like Kita would be undone when she saw this. Trojan knew this plan (don't you mean 'date'? his mind viciously asked him) had to work. Whatfor? Well, he didn't know that. Why did he invite Kita anyway? He had never been interested in her before. The thought only hit him when he saw Jax in the café, and started to feel sorry for the guy.
"I don't feel sorry for Jax,"Trojan told himself again. "I don't feel anything for Jax." Trojan thought about this line he had spoken out loud, and slapped himself mentally because it didn't seem right at all. "I like Kita,"he quickly corrected himself. Well, duh, all guys do. Why did he tell himself that? Why... why was he talking to himself?!
That wasn't quite sane, was it? What was he doing anyway?
There was a knock on the door. A slow, confident, styleful knock. Trojan never even knew there was such a thing as a styleful knock on a door, and this one didn't just sound styleful, there was also something seductive about it. How strange.
"Can I come in?" A low, warm voice, with an undertone that suggested thin patience. Kita had arrived.
"Come in,"Trojan said.
The door was opened and made a sqeaky noise. Kita stood there, ready to enter his room. The dooropening was like a frame of a painting, presenting her as a piece of art. Her face and skin glowed pleasantly in the soft light of the candles. Her hair was full and wavy, her eyes shimmered and her lips were moist. Any guy that would lay eyes on her, would start barking like a dog with his tongue out of his mouth; that was usually the effect this girl had on the opposite of sex. Trojan simply thought: that is a very nice dress.
Kita took place at the table, her lips slightly opened and curled into a smile, her eyes on sexy. Kita had started practising this in front of the mirror the minute she hit puberty -way before the virus. She had perfected this skill, and learned exactly how to wrap the guys around her finger with just one look, one smile. In meantime, she kept a close eye on Trojans reaction. No effect...? Man, this guy really was frosty. Usually the girls were the ones playing hard to get, but alright, Kita was prepared to play along, to put some effort in it.
Trojan smiled at her, the way he would smiled to a friend. That sort of gave Kita the creeps. He held up a bottle of wine, one of today's winnings. Zion had allowed him to take it from the kitchen for his date, as long as he wouldn't waste all of it.
"Champagne, madame?"he asked, and poured some into the not all to fancy glass in front of her. This freaked Kita out even more. She supposed it was meant as a joke, acting like a waiter, but he really did sound like a waiter that simply offered a customer something to drink. Not like a guy that poured his date some wine.
After he poured her a drink, a movement of his hand indicated the plate in front of her.Again, that friendly (too friendly) smile. "I hope you'll enjoy it,"he said.
Kita was quite hungry actually, because she hadn't eaten yet tonight, she had been waiting for Trojans dinner. Kita fixed a one-second-look on Trojans face, and the truly scary expression on it. A salesman to a customer.
She picked up her fork and started to eat. Pretty nice, actually. She guessed Trojan wasn't the one to cook it. That sort of scared her too. Pasta, mushrooms, vegetables, all combined into a pleasant mixture: that was Raja's style. Raja was a girl too nice for her own good, she let everyone walk over her without a single word of protest.
Trojan probably got Raja to cook this dinner. Or ordered her to cook this dinner, more like. How did she guess? She didn't know, she just had the feeling. She had been on dates, and some guys, madly in love with her, had really put effort into making a meal. Most of the time it came out horrible, but Kita had always thought that was sort of cute; at least they tried!
This was... more like a carefully organized plan than a dinnerdate.
Kita ate on. She didn't like the fact that it was so quiet at the table. "It tastes nice,"she just said, to break the silence. Trojan nodded and shot her another one of those fake smiles. "I am glad you're enjoying it,"he said.
Another 'waiter-in-a-restaurant'-comment. For some reason Kita shivered, but she ate on.
*
Jax got out of bed. He couldn't stand it anymore. He had been trying to go to sleep for hours, but all that happened was that he was bothered by his thoughts and inner voices, scared by the shadows on the walls that seemed to move, and the walls itself that seemed to keep coming closer.
He left his room and stepped onto the corridor. Good, there was a lot more space there. But he still didn't feel good. Like a child that woke up from a bad dream, he considered to seek comfort from someone that would surely give it, no questions asked. He decided to look for Raja's room.
*
A knock at Darts door. He lay flat on his bed, hands behind his head, frozen like a robot. He wasn't sleeping. There was a second knock at the door, and in a cold voice Dart invited whoever was on the other side to come in.
Raja opened the door, to his surprise. Her hair was loose, a waterfall of gold, she wore a white, short nightgown and she was without her babyboy.
"Can I come in?"she asked in a gentle, whisperish voice.
Dart nodded, trying not to look interested, and sat up so he could face her properly. With small, graceful steps she moved to his bed and sat on the edge, like she had sat on Jax's bed earlier this day. This time too, she fidgeted around with the blanket in silence.
"Any particular reason why you disturbed me?"Dart asked. He watched her, her closed eyes and the peaceful look on her face, and somehow... she still fascinated him. She was like an alien sometimes, unknown to this world and a stranger to what Earth-people considered normal social activities.
"About last night... I didn't mean to bother you,"she said in a soft voice. Dart got a little closer, pretending that he just couldn't hear what she was saying; why did that woman had to whisper anyway?
She fidgeted with the blanket a bit and smiled again. Dart didn't like it when people smiled for reasons unknown to him, so he asked: "What's so funny?"
"The way you lay in bed. Like a mummie. I bet when you crawl out of it in the morning, it still looks like the chambermaid just came by. You never really let yourself go. That's a shame, because if you let yourself go, you can experience the most beautiful things. Things that make you feel like your hart caves in,"she said.
"A warrior must be in control of his emotions,"Dart simply said.
"But you have something special. I can see it in your eyes. I could just draw your eyes. There's a light in it that doesn't want to be restrained by anything. Warriors shouldn't know fear, right? You're afraid to lose control, to let anyone come near,"she said.
"I'm not afraid of anything. You just don't know what you're talking about,"Dart mumbled indignated.
"There's a lot of difference between you and me. I want to free my mind, you want to tie it down to earth. I believe that beauty, bliss and true love all form some sort of good power, and that that power is the origin of everything; something you can depend on. You probably think strength is the only thing a person can depend on. I know that if people live their lives right, everything they do becomes a work of art -their moves, their clothes, even the way they make their bed. That's my greatest fascination. Yours is probably your warriormoves,"she said with a slight smirk.
"What's your point?"Dart asked, trying to hide is interest.
"Maybe it's our differences I like. Or maybe it's the fact that somehow we're alike as well. I don't know, but you're spectucular for some reason. You make me wanna feel like glass. I've never wanted to give myself to someone with the choice to destroy me. You're putting me in... overdrive. And I hope-"
Raja was cut short when Dart kissed her. He drew her closer, next to him in bed.
*
Jax had been looking for Raja's room. She was such a nice girl... Undoubtly she would know a way to comfort him. She was the mother of the tribe that couldn't control her children, in fact, let them control her. But she was always there when you needed her.
But then Jax's attention was caught by something interesting. He heard voices coming from some room. He recognised... Kita's voice... and Trojans! Suddenly, Jax had forgot all about his plan to go to Raja. He went to find the source of those voice, hoping to get a glimpse of Trojan, and hoping that he would be in a better mood.
*
"So Iz called the girl and SM-queen and that guy a Jax-look-a-like. He did look like Jax a lot, actually,"Trojan said.
Kita had first been very pleased when Trojan finally started a conversation, but then got freaked again as it seemed Trojan wasn't really interested in her as a partner for a conversation. It was like he was talking to himself, or an audience. But that scary smile still didn't leave his face.
Kita put down her fork. "Trojan... you don't like me, do you?"she asked with a blank face.
"What? Ofcourse I do, don't be crazy...,"Trojan said with a fake laugh, and tried to list reasons in his head, reasons for Kita thinking he didn't like her. Did she all of the sudden lose her well-known confidence. Did she think she was fat? Ugly?
"Trojan, this is... this won't bring you anywhere. You know, I can tell a whole lot about people by just looking at them. I've been observing you sice you came to our tribe. I do that with everybody, when they're not looking. To get to know if they can, you know, be trusted. I was never quite sure about you. And see, I now know for sure that you don't like me. I know you're doing this because... Look Trojan, you don't have to pretend, okay? That'll only make you feel bad in the end. You, you have to face up to what you really are. You don't have to be ashamed, I have no problem with it, and I'm sure the others won't either. We're not that narrowminded,"Kita said carefully, not really getting to a point.
"I have no idea what you're talking about,"Trojan said coldly.
"I... think you have to do some thinking of your own. It's getting late, I guess I'll head back to my own room. But it was a very lovely dinner, thank you for that,"Kita said. She got up and left. She just left.
Trojan was stunned. How could she? Who did she think she was? Saying those things to him... What did she think about him? What would she tell the others, when they asked her how her date was? The girls would talk about it, ofcourse. Would she tell them the same as what she told him, or more? Would she tell them exactly what happened, her thoughts about everything?
Trojans blood started to boil. How could he have been so stupid? How could he invite Kita of all people, Kita, who could look through anybody? Well, the answer was simple: all real men were attracted to Kita. So Trojan told himself he should be to, and he would earn the respect and credit of the guys if he would ask her on a date. He would be one of them. He wouldn't be cast-out, the guys wouldn't turn from him in disgust because of him... not liking girls.
That was the nicest way of combining what Trojan thought was his disease in words. A secret. And Kita, that bitch, was likely to bring it all out. And all because Trojan had thought of that plan, that stupid plan in such a hurry.
He threw the plates and glasses of the table in a rage. He wanted to go after Kita, slap her in the face for not making his plan work, for making it fail completely as a matter of fact. Why did she have to have sch great psychological insight?
But she wasn't the real reason. The source of the problem, the reason for him thinking of this plan was... Jax. Trojan grit his teeth as he thought about Jax, mostly because he also felt something beside anger when thinking about Jax. He was the cause of all his problems. Why wouldn't Jax just die, why didn't that idiot really starve himself to death, or at least never leave his room again? Why did Jax have to be so... fascinating and wonderful -don't!, he screamed inside his head.
Trojan clawed his hand, until the fingernails pierced the flesh of his palm and blood started to swell up in small, vermillion dots.
Trojan got out of his room, maybe planning to go after Kita, but then he saw Jax standing in the hallway. That sneak had been listening to their little dinnertalk the whole time! Trojan had enough of it. Right now all he wanted was to project his anger at something, destroy something, and what better person to aim this rage at than the cause of all his problems: Jax?
Zion, Kita and Scott entered the hospital. They were totally out of breath and their feet were numb, but they had gotten their hands on fresh foods. Some clever guy had started a supermarket again, in a relatively quiet corner of the city. He got his fresh goods from a farm.
Kita had to give him two golden bracelets for enough fruit and vegetables for the entire tribe. She always loved to wear gold, and it suited her skin, that had the colour of dark gold, and her black-caramel hair very well. Her family had been pretty rich (Kita claimed that she was a descendant of a sheik), and Kita had gathered a lot of golden jewellery over the years. But it wasn't worth that much to her anymore, the jewels from her past were only painful reminders of her memory, so she was willing to trade them to feed her tribe.
The small group went to the cafeteria, where Raja was just nursing her son. "How's Jax?"Zion asked her.
Raja took this question in and let it roll through her mind a second before she answered. "Well... Okay, I guess. He ate... well, not much, but something, and there wasn't much to eat anyway. I talked to him for a few minutes. He wasn't sick, not in the meaning of having a flu... He just looked really unhappy and scared. I really don't think he likes it here, Zion. Ofcourse, there's not much to do about it, we have to stay here until the winter's over. I suppose he'll get used to it,"Raja said.
Zion nodded. He didn't really know why Jax didn't like the city, but he had been pretty concerned over the teenage boy he considered his little brother. Well, at least Jax ate something. Maybe it was because of Raja. Maybe he could Raja to bring Jax dinner again tonight.
"Greetings, you horrible lot!"Iz called out when she and her group entered the hospital. "We've got food from a mall. There were these people there that called themselves the Mallrats, and they give to beggars. To nice for their own good -well, except for this fetish-girl and some guy that looked just like Jax,"Iz said and she threw her backpack on a table, startling little Aaron.
"It was a most productive search,"Dart concluded.
"Man, talk normal,"Iz said, rolling her eyes.
"Well, our search was... 'productive' too. We found some supermarket some guy got up and running again. We have a lot of fresh food,"Kita said.
Her voice was low and warm, felt like the Arabian wind, and she ran her fingers through her silky hair while she talked. Scott looked at her, in full admiration. How could a girl be so beautiful, so amazing? Scott could just drown in drool looking at her... oh, but Kita surely wouldn't find that appealing.
"Hey, Scotty B,"a voice said. Scott knew Iz had made up that nickname for him. He looked next to him and indeed, he saw Iz's pale face, a twinkle of conspiracy and amusement in her eyes.
"I saw how you were looking at her. Every single time. With little stars in your eyes. So cute,"Iz said, smirking.
"Aw, come on Iz, just leave me alone,"Scott sighed.
"Hey, hey, hey. Not so quick. Look, you like her, but that doesn't mean much to her. She's beautiful, she knows every man would like her. She can get every guy. That's the thing about pretty girls, they don't come to you, you go to them. You have to do something special, so that she notices you. Right now, I doubt if she even knows your name... But you know what always works: cook her dinner. A fabulous, romantic dinner. Oh, and be honest and sincere, girls like that. Tell them how you really feel about them, not covered with all that macho-stuff. Just tell your true, deep feelings, that's what make us gals swoon,"Iz said.
"Really?"Scott said, a bit insecure.
"Oh yeah. A bit of poetry, maybe. You know, we like guys that are in touch with their feelings. But eh, you gotta fix your looks, coz girls don't like a guy that looks like he fell outta bed, right into his clothes. So put on something nice, and dear god, would you brush your hair for a change!"Iz said.
"And that'll work?"Scott asked, hopeful.
"Guaranteed. See, I'm not all bad,"Iz said with a wink and left again.
Ask Kita for dinner... Scott thought about the idea. Would he have the nerve to go and ask her? Kita was so beautiful... If he would wait, some other guy would get her! No way! He was going to ask her to dinner, and it would be the most perfect dinner ever!
*
Kera, Justine and Randy stood in the streets, that were drowing in the golden-red light of the setting sun. Faced by a gang, that consisted of five people, of which one was armed. They stood there, on the abondoned, silent streets, like characters from an old western-movie. They were outnumbered. They were going to have to give up their food.
"Hey, I already said: I'm done asking nicely. Hand over the food, kiddie's,"the leader of the gang sat, pressing his fingertip against the sharp point of his knife. A little blood welled up on his finger.
"Go. To. Hell. We worked hard for this food, and it will be used to feed our tribe. If you want food, go find your own. But this is ours,"Justine said in a cold, determined voice. Completely relaxed, like people are when they're enfuriated.
"What did you say?"the leader asked, amazed and indignated. He didn't get to hear the word 'no' often enough, and wasn't used to being denied something.
"I said: go to hell! Our food, okay? This ain't the travelling supermarket, you lazy bitch! Now would you let me pass already, or do you wanna see me getting really pissed off?!"Justine asked, as if there was nothing to be afraid of.
"Er, J-Jus... Maybe we should give him what he wants, coz you know... knife?"Randy said, intimidated.
"You should listen to your buddy,"the leader now said.
"Our tribe is hungry. Justine is right, we're not giving up our food,"Kera said. "Come on, guys, let's just go." Kera already started walking, but the leader grabbed her and put his knife against her pale, soft troath.
"What do you got to say now?"he asked.
But Kera wasn't that easily taken care off. Her power lay in her anger, but it was hard to get this girl angry. But if there was something in the world she couldn't stand, it was too be dominated and threatened by some guy who thought he was it all.
Kera's whole face turned into a mask of fury. She hadn't been kickboxing- champion five years in a row for nothing... she kicked the leader between the legs, which caused him to fall to his knees with a pathetic, high- pierced yell. She then started beating him with her bare fists, and it turned out the leader was too much of a sissy to fight back. He even let the knife fall out of his hand.
An almost scary grin twisted Justine's face. She wasn't going to sit still, and especially not during a fight.
All the other members of the little tribes of thieves stood nailed to the ground, totally stunned, not able to help their leader or pay attention to Justine and Randy. Justine took advantage of this situation by picking up a piece of wood, and knocking one of the thieves, a girl with filthy blond hair, against the head violently. The girl was knocked out and hit the asphalt unconsciously.
Justine tried to knock someone else in the head with her improvised caveman- club, but by now the thieves had noticed her and started to defend themselves.
One took the oppurtinity to go to Randy, to try and steal his food with force. "Wait, wait! Er, if you want to fight, either the kickboxer or the cavegirl will soon be available, I'm sure,"Randy said, laughing nervously.
The guy tried to hit him, but Justine knocked him out with the piece of wood. "You okay, Rand?"she asked. Randy nodded slowly in utter awe. "Good, we gotta make a run for it,"Justine said. She grabbed his hand and dragged him with her, and together with Kera, they started to run back to the hospital.
But the tribe of thieves wasn't a very ambitous one, and they weren't hungry enough to pursue Kera, Justine and Randy for more than one block.
So, after their "little kungfu-fight", as Justine had already named it, they returned to the hospital in the black of the night, tired and much later than expected, to find the others already sitting at the dinnertable.
*
Jax set foot on the stairs. Come on, he told himself harshly, it can't be that bad. Raja held his arm, and she smiled at him. It was that sweet smile again, that of a buddhist angel. If all guys would ever go through the trouble of getting to know a girl before they jump into the sack with her, Raja would have thousand lovers.
"Zion got food from a supermarket. And Iz and her gang went to some sort of mall apparently. Anyway, they've gotten a lot of great food, so we're gonna have a nice meal,"Raja babbled away. Her voice was extremely nice to listen to.
Dinner. Something so easy and trivial, something that took place at the end of everyday, yet now it seemed to be an impossible task for Jax. He hadn't enjoyed dinner in a group when he was still living in nature, he didn't enjoy being in groups of any sorts, but now it was ten times worse.
Raja seemed to understand what it was like. "Jax, I know you can do this, even though it's hard,"Raja said. She didn't say "stop being such a coward" or "what are you fussing about, it's just a normal thing to do", she was just very suppotive, and this gave Jax a little confidence. With her by his side, he walked down the stairs and into the cafeteria, where half of the tribe already took place.
Dart glared quite coldly at Raja walking next to Jax, even holding his hand. Raja obviously didn't realise what that was about at all, and gave him a hard look to warn him, as she guided Jax to a quiet corner of the cafeteria.
Trojan watched the two. So, the freak had finally decided to come down. Well, good, at least that won't cause the tribe anymore trouble. Trojan looked at Jax and felt sorry for the guy. He looked so pitiful and uncomfortable, downright scared in this place full of noisy people.
Trojan all of the sudden saw Jax's dark look fixed on him, and something that could be called a smile, if you would want to call it anything, appeared on Jax's face. For a second, Trojans mind was completely blank, and he felt dizzy for a second. Then for some reason disgust turned his stomach and he gave Jax the most hateful look in his repertory. The expression on Jax's face collapsed, and his black eyes turned to the ground, unrestorably sad. Trojan was sorry right away, but he couldn't let himself think that. He had to think of something else; think of something else!
Why?
Don't know, but just do it!
Trojan thought about something else. His gaze abondoned Jax and turned to another person in the cafeteria: Kita. The most beautiful girl in the tribe. All the guys adored her, and so did Trojan, ofcourse.
An inner voice asked him if this was really true. Trojan was puzzled by his own question, and in the silence of his own mind he claimed that it was. All the guys love a sexy chick, right? If they don't, they can't really be called men, right?! Trojan reasoned inside himself: then they would just be like... Jax.
That was the final straw (what does that mean? Trojans mind asked him), Trojan walked to Kita, firmly. Scott also approached Kita, a stupid-happy look on his face, as the great plan Iz had told him about boiled in his head, his eyes enjoying the fabulous sight of the Arabian Princess.
But the Arabian Princess was reached by Trojan first.
"Hey, Kita,"he said in a seductive, sly voice. Kita's attention was caught right away. As Kita knew all men liked her, so Trojan knew all girls found him attractive. Even a beauty-queen like Kita could hardly resist him. And he was right; a pearlwhite smile broke through on Kita's face when the tribe's pretty boy gave her his attention.
"Hey, Trojan,"she said, in a simular voice.
"You know, I was just wondering... Now that we have so much food, I'm sure a nice, little dinner could be organised. You know, in my room. We could talk by a little,"Trojan said, smiling.
Scott froze to the floor. Trojan. Trojan of all people, goddamn Trojan. Not even Kita could resist him. But... it had been his plan (okay, Iz's plan, but that didn't matter!), he had been... should have been first. Scott knew his chances completely lost for the moment, and shuffled back to his table.
At the same time, Kita was thinking this offer over. She knew exactly what guys meant when they said 'nice little dinner... in my room.' Well heck, Kita didn't have any fun in a long time, even though she was a fun-loving- girl. And Trojan was definitely hot.
She looked at Jax from the corners of her eyes, and noticed that he was watching this whole scene. Trojan was handsome, there was no doubt about that, but Jax just had this something... something special. She could really go for that. But she had experience with guys, and she knew that when you held the grapes out of reach, they'd suddenly realise they're hungry. When a girl's hard to get, she becomes more attractive. Going out with Trojan... would that be the little push Jax needed?
Maybe. And if it didn't work, who cares? At least she would have a nice dinner, maybe some action. No strings attached, and if Trojan would think so, Kita would dump him again right away, and think of another way to get Jax.
"Sure, I'll join you for dinner,"Kita said in a warm voice.
"Cool,"Trojan said. For some reason unknown to even himself, Trojan kept an eye on Jax while receiving Kita's answer. He didn't know why, but he wanted to know Jax's reaction to all of this. Jax looked to the ground with a sad look in his dark eyes. Good, Trojan thought.
Just then, Justine, Randy and Kera entered the hospital, accompanied by an unnecessary amount of noise. "We're back,"Kera said, "with a whole bunch of food. And you'll never guess what happened to us on the way back!"
*
Kita shut the door to her room. Nine o'clock, Trojan had said. A dinnerdate with a guy that was worthy of Kita; that was, needless to say, reason enough to appear at your very best.
Kita threw the few clothes she had with her out of her formica closet (one of the few pieces of furniture in the hospitalroom -that reminded Kita to decorate it sometime) and scattered them all across her room.
She went through them quickly. No, that one was no good. No, thos two things didn't match. How come it always seemed the amount of clothes you had was cut in half whenever you went out with a guy.
"Do I really have such bad taste?"Kita asked herself, holding up her embroidered jeans. She threw the piece of clothing against the wall, and made a nervous, squeaky noise. Kita wasn't a shallow person that was only interested in looks, hell no, she just wanted to look good when she went on a date.
Kita held up a short, white dress with silk sleeves. White fitted her darkgolden skin well, she knew that. Oh, but she didn't like the model of the dress; not interesting enough, and white was so... innocent and virgin- like. Kita had no intention of looking like a little angel. Oh man, she only had an hour left.
*
In meantime Trojan was downstairs in the cafeteria, playing a cardgame with himself. Raja was cleaning the dishes from the meal Kita and Trojan hadn't enjoyed. Besides those two there was no-one in the kitchen. Raja had escorted the ovely nervous, silent Jax back to his room right after dinner.
"Say, Raja? You're a pretty good cook, right?"Trojan asked the young mother.
"I guess. Why do you ask?"
"Can you cook a meal for two? A fancy meal."
"Why?"
"I've got a date with Kita, that's why I wasn't at dinner tonight. Make it something romantic, and bring it to my room when you're done, allright? Kita will be there at nine o'clock,"Trojan simply said and he left the cafeteria.
Raja opened her mouth to protest, but Trojan had already left her sight. And even if he would've stayed, Raja doubted if she would've actually made any protest. A less nicer person, with more confidence, would've just told Trojan to cook his own damn meal. As far Raja, she just started wondering what kind of food would be fit for a romantic dinner.
*
Jax lay in his room. Back to his usual pattern. He hadn't liked it in the cafeteria, not at all. The feeling he would suffocate or would be closed in by the walls was less in the relatively spacious cafeteria, but all the hard noise... And all those people looking at him. Especially Trojan. Why did Trojan hated him so much, when he didn't hate Trojan at all? Everything but that.
Jax tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep, even do it was still early. But sleep would give him a little release. From his weird mind, that dark whirlwind. Why did his thoughts have to be like that; did other people ever feel that way? Did other people ever hear voices echo against the wall, even though they were alone in their room? Did they ever see shadows creeping from the corners of their eyes? Secretly, but not too secretly, because they wanted you to see, they wanted you to ask yourself if he was going crazy...
And Jax had the feeling he was going crazy. And it wasn't a pleasant state of mind at all.
Why did this happen to him, all of the sudden? Because he could really see no visible reason why he had turned into this, why everything seemed terribly threatening all of the sudden. Or just more threatening then before. Maybe he was being punished for something.
Jax stuffed his head into his pillow and just wished he had some sleepingpills.
*
Kita finally found what she wanted: a long, sleeveless dress. Tight, to give Trojan a clear look on her perfect, voluptuous figure. It was made of a light, slightly transparent material, and it was blue -one of Kita's favorite colours. It had an interesting print on it, of tropical stuff and boats, and it was covered in golden and silver glitter. Cleavage: low. Perfect.
Kita combined it with some silver-coloured sandals. A lot of silverblue eyeshade, eyepencil for a smokey effect, to put an emphasis on her beautiful eyes. Natural-coloured lipgloss to make her full lips irresistible. Every man would beg on his knees to kiss those lips.
Kita let her full, wavy hair hang loose over her shoulders; why would she tie up such pretty hair in any way? Kita looked at herself in the mirror in the bathroom that was connected to her bedroom.
She found herself immortally beautiful and very desirable. And that wasn't vanity, Kita knew that, it was merely a fact. There's nothing wrong or arrogant about finding yourself beautiful when you truly are. That was what Kita thought, at least.
She smiled at her reflection, that smiled back to her. She gave Self in the mirror a wink and left her room. She didn't even like Trojan, she was after Jax. But despite of that, Kita was sure tonight was going to be one good night.
*
Trojan made sure once again that everything was properly placed on the little, low table. It was like of those tables Japanese people sit at when they drink tea. Trojan found it somewhere downstairs and stole a pretty veil from Iz's room to use it as table-cover. The food Raja made was served on the best two plates that could've beem found in the kitchen, and Trojan had even found some candles. Perfect.
This was the best thing you could get in a world like this. Not even a girl like Kita would be undone when she saw this. Trojan knew this plan (don't you mean 'date'? his mind viciously asked him) had to work. Whatfor? Well, he didn't know that. Why did he invite Kita anyway? He had never been interested in her before. The thought only hit him when he saw Jax in the café, and started to feel sorry for the guy.
"I don't feel sorry for Jax,"Trojan told himself again. "I don't feel anything for Jax." Trojan thought about this line he had spoken out loud, and slapped himself mentally because it didn't seem right at all. "I like Kita,"he quickly corrected himself. Well, duh, all guys do. Why did he tell himself that? Why... why was he talking to himself?!
That wasn't quite sane, was it? What was he doing anyway?
There was a knock on the door. A slow, confident, styleful knock. Trojan never even knew there was such a thing as a styleful knock on a door, and this one didn't just sound styleful, there was also something seductive about it. How strange.
"Can I come in?" A low, warm voice, with an undertone that suggested thin patience. Kita had arrived.
"Come in,"Trojan said.
The door was opened and made a sqeaky noise. Kita stood there, ready to enter his room. The dooropening was like a frame of a painting, presenting her as a piece of art. Her face and skin glowed pleasantly in the soft light of the candles. Her hair was full and wavy, her eyes shimmered and her lips were moist. Any guy that would lay eyes on her, would start barking like a dog with his tongue out of his mouth; that was usually the effect this girl had on the opposite of sex. Trojan simply thought: that is a very nice dress.
Kita took place at the table, her lips slightly opened and curled into a smile, her eyes on sexy. Kita had started practising this in front of the mirror the minute she hit puberty -way before the virus. She had perfected this skill, and learned exactly how to wrap the guys around her finger with just one look, one smile. In meantime, she kept a close eye on Trojans reaction. No effect...? Man, this guy really was frosty. Usually the girls were the ones playing hard to get, but alright, Kita was prepared to play along, to put some effort in it.
Trojan smiled at her, the way he would smiled to a friend. That sort of gave Kita the creeps. He held up a bottle of wine, one of today's winnings. Zion had allowed him to take it from the kitchen for his date, as long as he wouldn't waste all of it.
"Champagne, madame?"he asked, and poured some into the not all to fancy glass in front of her. This freaked Kita out even more. She supposed it was meant as a joke, acting like a waiter, but he really did sound like a waiter that simply offered a customer something to drink. Not like a guy that poured his date some wine.
After he poured her a drink, a movement of his hand indicated the plate in front of her.Again, that friendly (too friendly) smile. "I hope you'll enjoy it,"he said.
Kita was quite hungry actually, because she hadn't eaten yet tonight, she had been waiting for Trojans dinner. Kita fixed a one-second-look on Trojans face, and the truly scary expression on it. A salesman to a customer.
She picked up her fork and started to eat. Pretty nice, actually. She guessed Trojan wasn't the one to cook it. That sort of scared her too. Pasta, mushrooms, vegetables, all combined into a pleasant mixture: that was Raja's style. Raja was a girl too nice for her own good, she let everyone walk over her without a single word of protest.
Trojan probably got Raja to cook this dinner. Or ordered her to cook this dinner, more like. How did she guess? She didn't know, she just had the feeling. She had been on dates, and some guys, madly in love with her, had really put effort into making a meal. Most of the time it came out horrible, but Kita had always thought that was sort of cute; at least they tried!
This was... more like a carefully organized plan than a dinnerdate.
Kita ate on. She didn't like the fact that it was so quiet at the table. "It tastes nice,"she just said, to break the silence. Trojan nodded and shot her another one of those fake smiles. "I am glad you're enjoying it,"he said.
Another 'waiter-in-a-restaurant'-comment. For some reason Kita shivered, but she ate on.
*
Jax got out of bed. He couldn't stand it anymore. He had been trying to go to sleep for hours, but all that happened was that he was bothered by his thoughts and inner voices, scared by the shadows on the walls that seemed to move, and the walls itself that seemed to keep coming closer.
He left his room and stepped onto the corridor. Good, there was a lot more space there. But he still didn't feel good. Like a child that woke up from a bad dream, he considered to seek comfort from someone that would surely give it, no questions asked. He decided to look for Raja's room.
*
A knock at Darts door. He lay flat on his bed, hands behind his head, frozen like a robot. He wasn't sleeping. There was a second knock at the door, and in a cold voice Dart invited whoever was on the other side to come in.
Raja opened the door, to his surprise. Her hair was loose, a waterfall of gold, she wore a white, short nightgown and she was without her babyboy.
"Can I come in?"she asked in a gentle, whisperish voice.
Dart nodded, trying not to look interested, and sat up so he could face her properly. With small, graceful steps she moved to his bed and sat on the edge, like she had sat on Jax's bed earlier this day. This time too, she fidgeted around with the blanket in silence.
"Any particular reason why you disturbed me?"Dart asked. He watched her, her closed eyes and the peaceful look on her face, and somehow... she still fascinated him. She was like an alien sometimes, unknown to this world and a stranger to what Earth-people considered normal social activities.
"About last night... I didn't mean to bother you,"she said in a soft voice. Dart got a little closer, pretending that he just couldn't hear what she was saying; why did that woman had to whisper anyway?
She fidgeted with the blanket a bit and smiled again. Dart didn't like it when people smiled for reasons unknown to him, so he asked: "What's so funny?"
"The way you lay in bed. Like a mummie. I bet when you crawl out of it in the morning, it still looks like the chambermaid just came by. You never really let yourself go. That's a shame, because if you let yourself go, you can experience the most beautiful things. Things that make you feel like your hart caves in,"she said.
"A warrior must be in control of his emotions,"Dart simply said.
"But you have something special. I can see it in your eyes. I could just draw your eyes. There's a light in it that doesn't want to be restrained by anything. Warriors shouldn't know fear, right? You're afraid to lose control, to let anyone come near,"she said.
"I'm not afraid of anything. You just don't know what you're talking about,"Dart mumbled indignated.
"There's a lot of difference between you and me. I want to free my mind, you want to tie it down to earth. I believe that beauty, bliss and true love all form some sort of good power, and that that power is the origin of everything; something you can depend on. You probably think strength is the only thing a person can depend on. I know that if people live their lives right, everything they do becomes a work of art -their moves, their clothes, even the way they make their bed. That's my greatest fascination. Yours is probably your warriormoves,"she said with a slight smirk.
"What's your point?"Dart asked, trying to hide is interest.
"Maybe it's our differences I like. Or maybe it's the fact that somehow we're alike as well. I don't know, but you're spectucular for some reason. You make me wanna feel like glass. I've never wanted to give myself to someone with the choice to destroy me. You're putting me in... overdrive. And I hope-"
Raja was cut short when Dart kissed her. He drew her closer, next to him in bed.
*
Jax had been looking for Raja's room. She was such a nice girl... Undoubtly she would know a way to comfort him. She was the mother of the tribe that couldn't control her children, in fact, let them control her. But she was always there when you needed her.
But then Jax's attention was caught by something interesting. He heard voices coming from some room. He recognised... Kita's voice... and Trojans! Suddenly, Jax had forgot all about his plan to go to Raja. He went to find the source of those voice, hoping to get a glimpse of Trojan, and hoping that he would be in a better mood.
*
"So Iz called the girl and SM-queen and that guy a Jax-look-a-like. He did look like Jax a lot, actually,"Trojan said.
Kita had first been very pleased when Trojan finally started a conversation, but then got freaked again as it seemed Trojan wasn't really interested in her as a partner for a conversation. It was like he was talking to himself, or an audience. But that scary smile still didn't leave his face.
Kita put down her fork. "Trojan... you don't like me, do you?"she asked with a blank face.
"What? Ofcourse I do, don't be crazy...,"Trojan said with a fake laugh, and tried to list reasons in his head, reasons for Kita thinking he didn't like her. Did she all of the sudden lose her well-known confidence. Did she think she was fat? Ugly?
"Trojan, this is... this won't bring you anywhere. You know, I can tell a whole lot about people by just looking at them. I've been observing you sice you came to our tribe. I do that with everybody, when they're not looking. To get to know if they can, you know, be trusted. I was never quite sure about you. And see, I now know for sure that you don't like me. I know you're doing this because... Look Trojan, you don't have to pretend, okay? That'll only make you feel bad in the end. You, you have to face up to what you really are. You don't have to be ashamed, I have no problem with it, and I'm sure the others won't either. We're not that narrowminded,"Kita said carefully, not really getting to a point.
"I have no idea what you're talking about,"Trojan said coldly.
"I... think you have to do some thinking of your own. It's getting late, I guess I'll head back to my own room. But it was a very lovely dinner, thank you for that,"Kita said. She got up and left. She just left.
Trojan was stunned. How could she? Who did she think she was? Saying those things to him... What did she think about him? What would she tell the others, when they asked her how her date was? The girls would talk about it, ofcourse. Would she tell them the same as what she told him, or more? Would she tell them exactly what happened, her thoughts about everything?
Trojans blood started to boil. How could he have been so stupid? How could he invite Kita of all people, Kita, who could look through anybody? Well, the answer was simple: all real men were attracted to Kita. So Trojan told himself he should be to, and he would earn the respect and credit of the guys if he would ask her on a date. He would be one of them. He wouldn't be cast-out, the guys wouldn't turn from him in disgust because of him... not liking girls.
That was the nicest way of combining what Trojan thought was his disease in words. A secret. And Kita, that bitch, was likely to bring it all out. And all because Trojan had thought of that plan, that stupid plan in such a hurry.
He threw the plates and glasses of the table in a rage. He wanted to go after Kita, slap her in the face for not making his plan work, for making it fail completely as a matter of fact. Why did she have to have sch great psychological insight?
But she wasn't the real reason. The source of the problem, the reason for him thinking of this plan was... Jax. Trojan grit his teeth as he thought about Jax, mostly because he also felt something beside anger when thinking about Jax. He was the cause of all his problems. Why wouldn't Jax just die, why didn't that idiot really starve himself to death, or at least never leave his room again? Why did Jax have to be so... fascinating and wonderful -don't!, he screamed inside his head.
Trojan clawed his hand, until the fingernails pierced the flesh of his palm and blood started to swell up in small, vermillion dots.
Trojan got out of his room, maybe planning to go after Kita, but then he saw Jax standing in the hallway. That sneak had been listening to their little dinnertalk the whole time! Trojan had enough of it. Right now all he wanted was to project his anger at something, destroy something, and what better person to aim this rage at than the cause of all his problems: Jax?