PART 11: A ROSE

Kera watched from the dooropening, the expression on her face fell as she saw the last thing she had expected to see: Iz and Zion sharing a violently passionate kiss.


Kera gasped and stuttered, unable to believe it. She had been looking for Zion, hoping to comfort him after that fight with Iz, that terrible bítch, who had dared to oppose Zion in public, hurting his feelings and actually blaming him for the fact that they couldn't find Kita. How could she? Kera had felt hotred needles of anger sting her mind when she heard the venomous words spat at Zion by… that woman.


And now she was here… with him.


Kera turned her head. This was not how it was supposed to happen? She was supposed to be with Zion, she was good for him. She was nice, calm and reasonable, and the unappointed co-leader. What more could he have asked for? What in God's name did he see in her?


Kera clenched her fists as she fell something wet trickling down her cheeks. She couldn't remember the last time she cried. Just like Iz that same night. But it wouldn't make a difference if Kera would cry in front of Zion instead of Iz.


She wasn't the type for him, although she couldn't accept that. All those months she had spend of co-leader, smiling at Zion, helping him and supporting him in everything, bringing his plans to action as fast as possible… she was preparing her big move.


But all those things she did, just turned her into a nice and helpful person, and not the kind of girl Zion wanted.


Kera threw one last glare at the two on the cafeteria-floor, who seemed to be strangers to every sort of worry. It made her feel like throwing up. She left the scene to seek the slight comfort of her room.


Iz and Zion hadn't even noticed her at all, were deaf to her soft sobbing and fast, echoing footsteps in the hallway, and even if they had noticed it, they wouldn't have cared.

*

The girl was positively beautiful, in a way mathematical, shallow beauty-pageants couldn't have possibly explained. It was that light that surrounded her. A dim, warm light, like she was glowing from the inside. Dress in an air of serenity, she made everything around her fall completely silent. So silent, that it was just unnatural.


She was seated with her legs crossed, like she was meditating. Her long, slender arms stretched out, her hands with the elegant fingers inviting him with soft, kind gestures. Her skin was whitegold like that of a hindu-goddess. She was surrounded by a halo of light, or a mandala would be more appropriate to say.


She was dressed, decorated and jewelled with rubyred roses completely. A necklace of the flowers, covering her breasts, around her thighs, around her neck, leaving a lot of beautiful, flawless skin uncovered. Emeraldgreen ribbons, in the colour of the leaves that accompanied the flowers were wrapped around her body, and there were beautiful butterflies, white and red, sitting on her shoulders and belly, moving from time to time.
Her hair was an ocean of gold, floating upwards and downwards, as if it was moved by a slight breeze. Unnaturally long threads of silk, glowing, and she had been crowned with a ring of roses. A vision of a goddess.


It was raining sunbeams on the place where she was seated, forming a circle of light around her. A nearly blasphemous image, as if God had selected her and let a ray of light from heaven shine down on her. A more earthly Holy Mary, dressed in nature.


Dart watched in total awe from his bed. He was in one of those strange conditions… hard to tell whether he was dreaming or not. He was sitting in his bed, and his room looked just like his room, but this vision was too surreal to be anything but a dream, unless that was what it really was: a vision.


Dart shook his head slightly. The land between Dreams and Being Awake. A misty, confusing place, which you usually had better leave alone, but on the other side: there were amazing things to experience there…

*

Dart awoke all of the sudden. He looked around confused, amazed to see nothing but darkness in front of his eyes, instead of the pure, divine light he had just been encountered with. Gone was the serene atmosphere, and the unnatural silence.


So it really was just a dream.


Still confused and slightly disappointed, Dart automatically, for some reason, asked "Raja?" and felt besides him, but he just felt the mattress instead of her gentle curves. She wasn't there in real life either.


Dart got up right away, and even if it was in the middle of the night, and got dressed. He understood what had to be done. Even if it would mean he had to be a complete weakling. Even if he would throw away all of his pride and self-respect.


Dart sighed. This was going to be hard… He wasn't sure if it would work, but he had to do his best. For her.

*

Zion laid her on the bed. Her hair spread out over the pillow, like dark fluid. Thick, shiny and as black as can be, forming a contrast with her nearly white, clear skin, which in its turn formed a contrast with her bloodred lips. A fairytale disguised as a gothic beauty.

She just lay there, looking at him with something that could best be referred to as innocence. Iceblue eyes finally melted. She started to take of her grey top. Izabella undress.

She was divinity's creature that kissed in cold mirrors

The top went off over her head and she looked at him with a rather insecure, shy look –again that spark of innocence in her eyes- like she didn't know what to do next. Zion shoved the long, thick hair, the dark veil that covered her body, away.

Her raven hair

Had flown to gown her beauty bared

He let his fingers slide over the white silk of her body.

She was Ersulie possessed of a milky white skin

My porcelain Yin

A graceful Angel

He pulled her black pants of slowly, caressing her thighs. He soon discovered where her look of insecurity and innocence came from, as she said to his full astonishment: "It's my first time."

A virgin. He cupped her pretty face in his hands, and his touch chased away the slightly scared look on it. She didn't need that anxious gaze. He would rather die than hurt her or scare her or anything. He loved her. He loved Iz, the strangest girl in the tribe, the one with the big mouth, with a mind of her own, the one that claimed to be a neo-anarchist (whatever that might mean), the one that had nicknames for everyone, and had the rudest, cruelest sense of humour ever… and was still a virgin.

Strange creature. That was why he fell in love with her. Out of nowhere, like those things happen. Her body moved on the bed like that of a mermaid in the ocean, her bare skin gleaming beautifully in the light of the candle on the nightdrawer.

He kissed her body.

Iz looked at him. She knew he wasn't going to hurt her. Not anymore, not after the fight, no that he got that quick peek into her soul, to find out who she was, and it had been enough to fall in love with her. And Zions brief moment of 'being himself' had been enough to make her fall in love with him. He was beautiful. And it was strange how she never noticed that.

Randy woke up from the strange sounds in Zions room, next to his. He groaned and covered his head with his pillow. "Urgh, not again. What, does this tribe consists of bunnies or something? First Dart and Raja on that side, and now Zion and… huh, probably Kera. Who probably took comforting too serious,"Randy said to himself.

He thought for a second, then added: "Hm… I might go and see if Justine is still awake."

*

"Stop crying, Cloe. It's not going to help,"Kita told the younger girl quite harshly.

"Well, what did you expect me to do? Huh? I've been kidnapped by a psychopath, I've  got no idea what's going to happen… For all I know he might kill us. I might… I might die,"Cloe said tearful, close to hyperventilating.

"You don't know if he's going to kill us, and it doesn't help much to imagine what that would be like, now does it? Does thinking about what this guy could do to you get you any further? Does feeling sorry for yourself gets you any further? Does crying get you any further? No, I don't think so. The only thing that'll get you anywhere, is figuring how to escape from this place,"Kita said her, also talking some courage into herself.

"How could we escape…? He's not gonna let his go,"Cloe said. The girl was already devoid of all hope.

"No,"Kita said. Well, that went without saying. Kita tried to dissect this kidnapper's mind, like she always did with people. But it was harder this time… Maybe because she could only base things on the pain he caused her… Her and other girls. He had mentioned girls before, and Kita had already asked herself the question: where are they now?

Don't think about that! she told herself. It's not important.

Kita tried to figure what could bring a man to kidnapping women. Well, it couldn't possibly be about ransom or anything, because she herself wasn't worth much. And the other girl didn't look like a very important person either. So… the reason for him to kidnap girls (it pained her and made her shudder to think about this) was for his own personal pleasure, or because he wanted to control women. A trauma was undoubtly the cause of that… this man kidnapped women, because for him it was the only way to have power of them. Kita spat at how pathetic and disgusting that was, but she tried to keep her mind to the subject.

So… if he wanted power over women, maybe he was scared of them. Could only do something to them while they were unconscious or in restraints. But if a woman would yell at him, get angry at him (Kita remembered how he told her: "It musn't scream!") and try to overpower him verbally (because physically: no chance) he might just get so scared he would let them go.

Or maybe the opposite had to be done here. Act like a slave, like everything he says is right, like he is a god and you're just a doormat. Then he couldn't grow angry at you, you would do exactly what he wants, and maybe that would be a way to make him release you to. Or do the opposite.

Another thing: this… person thought of women as objects. If there was a way to change that… maybe they could introduce themselves to eachother (ridiculous thought really, but that didn't matter), start to talk, make sure he wouldn't think of the girls he kidnapped as mere things or pets with which he could do as he pleased… but you couldn't just clear up a trauma like this with a simple chat.

All plans could have varying results. It could make things better (although the chance was slight), or it could make things even worse (for as far as that was even possible). Maybe the best way was just to attack him, break out. But the door was locked and this man was strong. And he had done this before…

Stuck. Kita was stuck.

She glanced at Cloe, who was looking at her with a spark of hope on her face. Kita felt sorry for the girl, that didn't even know what she was facing yet. That didn't even know what this thing could do to girls.

"What can we do?"Cloe asked.

"I don't know,"Kita said truthfully.

*

You, me, everything… A chaos. Twirling around in the dark, a tornado in a black ocean, throwing up dirt wherever it goes. You know, it is a fact that the earth is spinning around, though you're not supposed to feel anything of it. But… then you find yourself, feet hardly secured to the ground, looking at the planet spinning. And you think it's cool, until you realise you're the only one that notices this… and that you're a freak.


Oh God, Jax thought. I just want to sleep. I just want to sleep. All I'm asking for, alright, a little sleep. My body is tired… my eyes are falling shut… its dark and quiet outside but my mind won't shut up!


On and on it goes. Why couldn't I have been born a complete retard. Braindead or something, instead of having to listen to them argue in my head the whole time. And argue they do… with me, eachother, they question everything every person says, critisize everything I do, and they never go to sleep.


No, just when your eyes are tight and you're letting yourself fall into a dream, they jump out again, thinking they have something important to tell you. But all they do is ramble nonsense… hurtful nonsense… but nonsense still. They say such weird things, their voices are fast, shooting past you in a blur like a train.


But you can always catch something of what they say, and it's never nice.


Why does everything has to be like this? Why does my mind have to be so screwed, such a weird place strewn with booby-traps and landmines, why do I have to be such a freak?


I want to sleep… I want that so much. Sleep might just make things better, if it were up to I'd sleep all the time. It's so nice… just laying in your warm, soft bed, not knowing anything, just covered in blessed ignorance and rest. I've been so damn tired lately, and if it were up to me I'd sleep all the time.


But they find it weird when you sleep all throughout the day. And they don't like me already, for appearing in public so little, not helping with the chores often enough. And when it's finally night and I can sleep, then the voices come out, ofcourse. The dark makes them stronger, louder; they're like nocturnal predators.


Now, what I could really use right now… God, is that the sun coming up? Yeah, it is, the sky is turning lighter. So, that late already. Morning. Then soon I'm gonna be expected at breakfast again, crowded there between those arguing and fighting people, the heavy atmosphere they cause pressing down on me. And all day I'd have to stay awake, and I couldn't stand it if they would talk me. I can't stand that at the moment, I think I would… I think I would attack them.


I don't want be bothered right now. If I have to be in their company, at least let me sink away in my own mind, so I can be a little oblivious to their stupid breakfast-conversations, their loud voices, their strange moods, their fights, their trivial problems. If I bury myself in my own mind completely, it's less worse, a little less worse. Iz said I look like a zombie when I do that, and that it freaks her out, but I don't care what she says. She thinks I'm crazy already, to put a tiny emphasis on it won't be that bad.


Ohh, I just wanna stop thinking. Stop thinking, okay? It's getting me so tired. And I'm already tired of everything. Tired of being here, tired of this world, tired of the people, tired of this life. It all makes me wanna sleep… for a very, very long time. Hm, maybe even forever. Yeah, that would be delightful, sleeping forever.


Wait… but that would be nearly the same as death… Do I wanna die?


Maybe. I don't know. Afraid I guess. Yep, that's me for ya. I wanna sleep forever, which equals dying, but when it really comes down to it, I always find I'm to much of a coward to actually go through with it.


Huh… Nothing's keeping me here, really. Well, except for Trojan. Trojan's good, Trojan's beautiful. But he hates my guts. Ofcourse he has every reason to, I'm so goddamn sickening and pitiful. I deserve to die, really.


"Yes! Well, come on, what are you waiting for then?"one of the voices said over-enthusiastically.


"Don't you ever shut up?"Jax hissed, wincing and covering his ears. But covering his ears wasn't going to help. That was the annoying thing. The voices weren't on the outside, they were crawling around on the inside. Like maggots in a mind that had already died and started to decay, and was now merely waiting for the body.


Jax shook his head. Sleepingpills. He could use sleepingpills, a lot of them. Then he could sleep throughout the day in peace and quiet –he wouldn't even have to go through any trouble for it. But… pills… hospital! They were in a hospital, which had to be stuffed with medication, even though they had been so full when the virus was rampaging. Sleepingpills: undoubtly! All he had to do was look for them.

*

Yellow highrise. Raja woke up the minute the weak morningsun parted with the horizon, shedding light on the city and throwing sunshine in Raja's sun. She opened her eyes slowly, with a bit of a groan. Morning already? Oh, and it was her turn to make breakfast, right, she had better get up now.


Raja sat up straight in bed and the first thing that captured her gaze was the door to her room. Before the virus hit, Raja always had to shut her door tightly before she went to sleep, and now that they were in an environment where there actually were doors again, she had gone back to that habit.


But strangely, the door to her room was open. Raja shook her head; maybe she didn't shut it tight enough and the wind blew it open? A less reasonable, more childish voice offered a second possibility: maybe it was a ghost!


Raja shuddered; despite of her age, she was still scared of ghosts. And to think that this was a hospital, where so many people died. What if their ghosts were still-


Oh, stop it, Raja thought, rolling eyes at herself.


Then, all of the sudden, her eyes fell on another strange thing. And alright, the door had been up to there, but this was really bizarre. There was a red rose laying next to her pillow. A beautiful flower. Raja uttered and amazed squeal-gasp and thought: well, if it was a ghost, then certainly a very charming one!


She picked up the rose and her heart jumped up. A present… she couldn't recall to ever getting something like this before. Something so beautiful… And seeing how there weren't any flowershops left, probably pretty hard to get as well. Who would go through all that trouble to give her something like this?


It left Raja feeling puzzled, but very happy. What a beginning of a day. Excited she jumped out of bed, fully awake now and actually looking forward to making breakfast. She put the rose in a vase on the nightdrawer (it had been there when she took this room, a lot of sick people had probably put flowers in it) and looked at it in full awe. She could just dance around the room.


Through the dooropening, she saw a tired Jax walk by all of the sudden. "Jax!"she yelled out to him. He startled, but she didn't even noticed that. She pointed to the flower with its silk, ruby-coloured leafs, jumping from one leg to another in excitement. "Look what I've gotten tonight,"she squealed.


Jax looked at the flower and smiled a little for her. Yeah… Raja was a sweet girl, sweet people tend to get things like that. No chance he would ever receive a present of any sort.


Raja got her babyboy out of his cradle. He was a little amazed, but immediately took over his mothers good mood. "Look at the present mommy got. Isn't it pretty?"she asked Aaron. The toddler looked at the brightly-coloured flower, which was very interesting indeed. He had never seen a rose before.


Raja held Aaron with one arm, and took Jax arm with the other. She shot him a kind smile. "Sorry about not coming to see you last night. I mean, you obviously had some trouble with the fight. Are you feeling okay now?"she asked. He nodded automatically, because he never told people how he really felt.


"Good,"she said excited, "let's go get some breakfast," and she took him along.


"But…,"Jax protested hardly audible. So far his plan of getting pills and just spending the rest of the day sleeping.

*

Iz opened her eyes. Her chin was resting on Zions chest, and she couldn't remember ever feeling so great, warm and… loved in her life. Loved. That word seemed nearly foreign to her. She always thought she didn't need it.


She noticed Zion was awake too.


"Should we go get breakfast?"she asked and yawned.


"Naw,"he said, kissing her. "I'd rather stay in bed for a little longer."

*

Raja skipped through the hallway like a little schoolgirl, dragging Jax along. Aaron giggled happily.


Raja's mood was a bit dampened when she entered the cafeteria and she saw Dart sitting at a table, like he had been up all night. The minute he saw her enter, he got up and made way to leave the cafeteria.


"Don't go away on my account,"Raja muttered, scowling.


"Rather not. I just have some things to take care off,"he said.


"Whatever,"Raja said, pretending not to be interested.


"You do like roses, don't you?"he asked with a blank face.


Raja looked up amazed, but before she could ask Dart any questions, he had already left.