I can see that he doesn't know why he's holding me. Hell, I don't even know
why he's here, but I have to admit, it is kind of nice waking up to his
arms wrapped securely around me. I could've got used to this, if it wasn't
for the look of pure disgust on his face.
At least it looks like disgust.
I could try and kid myself that it was just bewilderment, or maybe if I didn't know better I would say awe, but unfortunately I do know better. I would ask why he is here, but I don't need the confirmation: I can see several empty beer cans, and a discarded wine bottle. For a moment I panic again, what the hell did we do last night?
I guess he sees my discomfort, because he slowly and carefully turns us on the couch so that we are safely seated before the conversation continues.
The spot on my hip where his hands were freezes as soon as he lets go, the burning sensation immediately lost.
"Sara." He begins cautiously.
"Shit! Will you quit saying my name, it's not gonna solve every problem, and neither is a damn plant!"
My sudden burst have anger shocked me to silence and it sure must have shocked him too, because he doesn't speak again for a long moment.
"I'm sorry, it's." His hands twist loosely, helplessly, as if he needs to climb a tightrope to find the right words.
There is something in his uselessness, maybe because I am not used to seeing this part of him, which softens the harshness around my eyes. I reach over and tuck another strand of his flyaway hair behind one ear. He looks at me with such an intense gaze that I swear my heart skips a beat, and I have to look away again. I can't keep the emotion from swirling in my eyes.
I think that this gives him the courage to start again, but something suddenly reminds me to ask him something.
"Why are you here?" My voice sounds strange, almost strangled.
He avoids my direct line of sight, choosing instead to glance at a plant in the corner of the room.
"You kept it." I can barely hear him past the beating of my heart.
"Answer the question, damnit!"
~*~
She hardly ever swears.
It confuses me that in such a short space of time, she's sworn three times. The worst thing is that they have all been directed at me.
I can feel her staring at me. What am I supposed to say to her? Nick was there when you needed someone the most, and he dragged my sorry ass to help.
Yeah. That makes me sound like a real hero.
Or there's the better version. You dragged her sorry ass to Vegas, treat her like shit, and she goes and gets drunk on your behalf.
Yeah. That sounds loads better, I think bitterly.
"For God's sake! Speak already! You're always there to tell me what to do, just because you're a member of higher authority than me, but my God! When you're asked to speak, it's always."
I cut off her angry tirade by raising both my hands in defeat.
I don't want to get angry with her, despite the fact that she's damn well furious with me right now.
"Okay, I'm here because last night I received a phone call from Nick, that you were out of you're head, drunk!"
"Out of my head? Out of my head? And can you really blame me?" She shouts back.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I think it's flipping well obvious!"
"Oh, and why is that?" I ask, sugary sweetness dripping from my tone.
I don't think this is about last night anymore, there's some deeper point that she's trying to get through to me. Just my luck that on the day I wake up in the arms of my dream woman, she more pissed at me than you can imagine.
"Don't you dare talk to me like a child!"
"Excuse me?"
What is she getting at here?
~*~
He really doesn't know what I'm talking about does he?
"What I mean, is that you don't trust me at work anymore. You totally ignore my opinion and judgement, what the hell changed?"
I didn't believe you could truly hate someone that you love until this moment.
"Of course I trust your opinion, I trust you completely."
"Yeah, you trust me to do my job, but what about your personal life, would you trust me with that?"
He hesitates before answering me, and I suddenly don't want to hear any more.
"You know what? Don't answer that! I don't want to hear it," I scream at him, "Get out! Get out!"
He looks quite shocked by my speech, but stands up anyway. He looks like a defeated man.
"I'd tell you I'm sorry if you told me what I've done." He says calmly before taking one more step towards the door.
"I'll tell you what you've done! You stroll around completely ignoring me, and yet you can't even give me peace to my job without walking in on you and Catherine, I mean, why can't you get a room?"
And with this I turn and stomp from the room.
I can clean up the mess when he's gone.
I barely hear the front door click shut before hot tears spill down my face.
At least it looks like disgust.
I could try and kid myself that it was just bewilderment, or maybe if I didn't know better I would say awe, but unfortunately I do know better. I would ask why he is here, but I don't need the confirmation: I can see several empty beer cans, and a discarded wine bottle. For a moment I panic again, what the hell did we do last night?
I guess he sees my discomfort, because he slowly and carefully turns us on the couch so that we are safely seated before the conversation continues.
The spot on my hip where his hands were freezes as soon as he lets go, the burning sensation immediately lost.
"Sara." He begins cautiously.
"Shit! Will you quit saying my name, it's not gonna solve every problem, and neither is a damn plant!"
My sudden burst have anger shocked me to silence and it sure must have shocked him too, because he doesn't speak again for a long moment.
"I'm sorry, it's." His hands twist loosely, helplessly, as if he needs to climb a tightrope to find the right words.
There is something in his uselessness, maybe because I am not used to seeing this part of him, which softens the harshness around my eyes. I reach over and tuck another strand of his flyaway hair behind one ear. He looks at me with such an intense gaze that I swear my heart skips a beat, and I have to look away again. I can't keep the emotion from swirling in my eyes.
I think that this gives him the courage to start again, but something suddenly reminds me to ask him something.
"Why are you here?" My voice sounds strange, almost strangled.
He avoids my direct line of sight, choosing instead to glance at a plant in the corner of the room.
"You kept it." I can barely hear him past the beating of my heart.
"Answer the question, damnit!"
~*~
She hardly ever swears.
It confuses me that in such a short space of time, she's sworn three times. The worst thing is that they have all been directed at me.
I can feel her staring at me. What am I supposed to say to her? Nick was there when you needed someone the most, and he dragged my sorry ass to help.
Yeah. That makes me sound like a real hero.
Or there's the better version. You dragged her sorry ass to Vegas, treat her like shit, and she goes and gets drunk on your behalf.
Yeah. That sounds loads better, I think bitterly.
"For God's sake! Speak already! You're always there to tell me what to do, just because you're a member of higher authority than me, but my God! When you're asked to speak, it's always."
I cut off her angry tirade by raising both my hands in defeat.
I don't want to get angry with her, despite the fact that she's damn well furious with me right now.
"Okay, I'm here because last night I received a phone call from Nick, that you were out of you're head, drunk!"
"Out of my head? Out of my head? And can you really blame me?" She shouts back.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"
"I think it's flipping well obvious!"
"Oh, and why is that?" I ask, sugary sweetness dripping from my tone.
I don't think this is about last night anymore, there's some deeper point that she's trying to get through to me. Just my luck that on the day I wake up in the arms of my dream woman, she more pissed at me than you can imagine.
"Don't you dare talk to me like a child!"
"Excuse me?"
What is she getting at here?
~*~
He really doesn't know what I'm talking about does he?
"What I mean, is that you don't trust me at work anymore. You totally ignore my opinion and judgement, what the hell changed?"
I didn't believe you could truly hate someone that you love until this moment.
"Of course I trust your opinion, I trust you completely."
"Yeah, you trust me to do my job, but what about your personal life, would you trust me with that?"
He hesitates before answering me, and I suddenly don't want to hear any more.
"You know what? Don't answer that! I don't want to hear it," I scream at him, "Get out! Get out!"
He looks quite shocked by my speech, but stands up anyway. He looks like a defeated man.
"I'd tell you I'm sorry if you told me what I've done." He says calmly before taking one more step towards the door.
"I'll tell you what you've done! You stroll around completely ignoring me, and yet you can't even give me peace to my job without walking in on you and Catherine, I mean, why can't you get a room?"
And with this I turn and stomp from the room.
I can clean up the mess when he's gone.
I barely hear the front door click shut before hot tears spill down my face.