Shattered Life: Chapter 5: Feelings of Change

Amy's POV

I walked home in silence and with the numb feeling of Ephram being gone...forever. I wanted to run after him and say "I'm sorry Ephram! I never meant any of that! Can we just pretend that none of this ever happened and just be friends!" but I knew that we couldn't just be friends...atleast not anymore. It hurts to much to see him and to be around him because I like him so much but I want to stay true to Colin! I don't want to let Colin go!

I walked into the empty house, were everything stood still. I wish my life whould just stand still instead of the fast pace it's moving at right now. Everything is just blowing right past me as I stay in the same spot trying to firgure out what's going on.

Walking into my cold, lonely bedroom I take a look around and think about everything that happened today. It all feels like a blur has just stabbed me in the back.

I walk into the bathroom looking for something to ease my pain. Nothing...I wanted a good dose of morphine or something strong like heroin. That would be nice. So I could just ease back into my own little world, with my own little life were everything seemed to be perfect. I looked again and again until I was dizzy. I sat down on the toilet. Watching everything spin around me made me sick to my stomach. I feel on my knees to the floor. I bent over the toilet and threw up. Long, hard heeves. I fell back and rested my head onto the wall. A cold sweat formed on my body. I wiped my forward. Looking at the floor, I fell to it...the nice cold tiles against my warm skin. I turned onto my back. I starred at the ceiling and slowly closed my eyes, where a nice warm blanket of darkness played with my mind for a while and then settled down with me...

Katrina's POV

"Hello" my hollow voice said as I answered the phone.

"Um...hey it's Ephram. I was just wondering if you wanted to you know hang out or something tonight?" He said sounding anxious to do something. I knew I wasn't.

"Oh...well...um...sure why not?!" I said trying to sound excited but instead in came out as a weak raspy voice which didn't sound to promising.

"Cool. Well... how about we catch a bite to eat at the diner and then maybe go see a movie?" He asked with this sort of excitement that I wouldn't expect from him.

"Sounds good! Lets say seven?" I said trying harder this time to sound excited...it actually worked!

"Cool pick you up then. Bye."

"See ya." I said as I dropped the silver phone to the reciever. I felt overwhelmed all of sudden. I wasn't planning on doing anything tonight except feeling guilty and trying to get over it. Now I was suppose to get dressed up and actually face public myself. I didn't feel like it...but I guess I kind of have to...I mean I can't keep slowly killing myself like this.

I jumped into the warm shower and felt it rinse of the filth and grime that was there from this morning. It felt good to wash away the fight with dad and the dream in trig. class. I felt like a new person and when I got out I felt like I could face the world. I felt good about going out with Ephram. I felt happy.

Ephram's POV

I looked at the clock it was only 6:15. Why was time moving so slow? Why was I so anxious to see Katrina? I don't know and for some reason I don't think I want to know. I looked over at my dad who was sitting watching a movie with Delia. I sat at the piano bench nervously waiting for 6:45 to roll around so I could leave.

"Anxious or nervous?" my dad said as her walked past to get more popcorm.

"Both." I said as I followed him into the kitchen.

"Oh...who are you going with again?" He said taking a piece of popcorn from the bowl.

"Katrina Lancaster. She's new." I said looking at him now waiting for his response.

"Hmm...well have fun!" He said as he walked back into the living room with the bowl of popcorn.

6:30! I'll go and see if there is anything wrong with me. Then I'll leave. Oh screw it! I'm leaving now! "See ya everyone!" I said as I put on my coat and started walking out the door.

"Bye!" They both said together glued to the TV.

I walked through the cool fall air. I looked up at the sky. I asked myself, "Will this thing go good tonight?" I'm sure hoping so...I don't want to screw this up. I like Katrina a lot. Not like girlfriend...just really good friends...I think...