Chapter Three:
Evening passed slowly as I sat in the library at the back. Isolated. Solitary. Writing my morning's class notes and feeling sorry for myself.
*Sorry for yourself as usual Instructor. Always sorry for your self.*
I didn't notice the hands of the Grandfather clock, which stood elegantly near the automatic doors; spin a leisurely 360ยบ. I didn't notice the stream of students filter in and out of the study areas. I didn't notice the couples helping each other with their "limit techniques theory" homework. I didn't notice anything, but my annotations around my textbooks.
*What's wrong with you all of a sudden? You notice everything, because you have nothing of your own to notice.*
It was only when the girl with the mousy brown ponytail came over and tapped me did I notice. It was late. I mumbled my apologies for keeping her here till so late, shoved my books into my bag and hurried to my room. My cold, empty, lonely room where I would forever be sentenced to sleep alone.
*No love for such a sickening creature.*
I fell into a dreamless sleep.
*Dreams build false hope in whatever sense they arrive. You're too proper for that. Too rigid and callous. Too many hours spent dreaming are wasted ones in your eyes.*
Dawn came early. I could feel the slight warmth of the autumnal sun on my face as I pulled my nondescript duvet tighter around me. I tried to focus on my alarm clock, but my eyes were not co-operating with me. I grabbed it fiercely off the side, glaring at the inanimate timepiece in my grasp. It was well before 6am. I decided to rise anyway.
After a quick shower and the blow-drying of my thick hair, I left my vacant, meticulous dormitory in search of breakfast. I knew the lunch- woman would have my exactly quartered, lightly sugared grapefruit separated from the rest. Definite in its appearance and flavour, refusing to conform.
Much like the one whom will devour it. Separate, unwilling to be like others. Who'd want to be like you anyway?*
I ate at my favourite table, by the bay window, with the view of Balamb urging me to wander by the harbour and throw rocks at the sea. I was immersed in thoughts of punishing the sea, just as Hyne had chosen to punish me. I grinned in spite of myself. The Frozen one was more malicious than anyone could know.
"That's a smile that could brighten up any morning," came a familiar voice. Selphie sat down on the empty chair to my left. I shook my head, bringing myself back to the filling cafeteria.
"Morning Selphie. How are you? The Headmaster sending you out on any missions this week?"
She beamed at me, the smile we all grew to love after we met the perky girl from Trabia. "Yeah I'm good. No missions this week, so far. Had a bit of trouble in Dollet last week. Some sort of protest against the new drinking laws. The President wanted them to be cut down from 11-12 to 12-11. Some of the local's weren't too happy, but Rinoa and Zell managed to calm it. Hopefully I'll have the rest of this week off, unlucky for them, the headmaster's got them on Substitute Duty! Lucky for me though, I really wanted to go shopping in esthar with Matron. We've seen the cutest." Selphie went on at great length about some girly nonsense, till she realised that I wasn't really interested.
"That's nice dear", I muttered repeatedly as I ate, attempting to build up enough strength to teach class 4b for three hours. I hated teaching theory. It was as boring for me as the students.
Selphie suddenly stopped mid-sentence. She gasped as she saw the time. Half past eight. "OH NO! The Headmaster wanted to see me, like 15 minutes ago. I think I'll be given a new tutorial class. My last group were a tad unruly," she grinned, "though part of that may have been my fault. Having me shouting BOOYAKA every five minutes might have made them a bit crazy. Anyway, see you at the staff meeting at seven tonight!" She stood up and flounced off towards the door, singing loudly, making people stare at her yellow figure in disbelief. How anyone could be this perky at half past eight on a Tuesday morning was beyond me.
*Everyone is perky compared to you. You're just lifeless compared to Selphie.*
I turned back to my grapefruit. Turned back to my thoughts for a brief moment. I became once again engrossed in chastising the world in my mind. A sharp ringing of the alarm. My teaching day had begun.
*No rest for the wicked. Or even you, Quistis Trepe.*
Evening passed slowly as I sat in the library at the back. Isolated. Solitary. Writing my morning's class notes and feeling sorry for myself.
*Sorry for yourself as usual Instructor. Always sorry for your self.*
I didn't notice the hands of the Grandfather clock, which stood elegantly near the automatic doors; spin a leisurely 360ยบ. I didn't notice the stream of students filter in and out of the study areas. I didn't notice the couples helping each other with their "limit techniques theory" homework. I didn't notice anything, but my annotations around my textbooks.
*What's wrong with you all of a sudden? You notice everything, because you have nothing of your own to notice.*
It was only when the girl with the mousy brown ponytail came over and tapped me did I notice. It was late. I mumbled my apologies for keeping her here till so late, shoved my books into my bag and hurried to my room. My cold, empty, lonely room where I would forever be sentenced to sleep alone.
*No love for such a sickening creature.*
I fell into a dreamless sleep.
*Dreams build false hope in whatever sense they arrive. You're too proper for that. Too rigid and callous. Too many hours spent dreaming are wasted ones in your eyes.*
Dawn came early. I could feel the slight warmth of the autumnal sun on my face as I pulled my nondescript duvet tighter around me. I tried to focus on my alarm clock, but my eyes were not co-operating with me. I grabbed it fiercely off the side, glaring at the inanimate timepiece in my grasp. It was well before 6am. I decided to rise anyway.
After a quick shower and the blow-drying of my thick hair, I left my vacant, meticulous dormitory in search of breakfast. I knew the lunch- woman would have my exactly quartered, lightly sugared grapefruit separated from the rest. Definite in its appearance and flavour, refusing to conform.
Much like the one whom will devour it. Separate, unwilling to be like others. Who'd want to be like you anyway?*
I ate at my favourite table, by the bay window, with the view of Balamb urging me to wander by the harbour and throw rocks at the sea. I was immersed in thoughts of punishing the sea, just as Hyne had chosen to punish me. I grinned in spite of myself. The Frozen one was more malicious than anyone could know.
"That's a smile that could brighten up any morning," came a familiar voice. Selphie sat down on the empty chair to my left. I shook my head, bringing myself back to the filling cafeteria.
"Morning Selphie. How are you? The Headmaster sending you out on any missions this week?"
She beamed at me, the smile we all grew to love after we met the perky girl from Trabia. "Yeah I'm good. No missions this week, so far. Had a bit of trouble in Dollet last week. Some sort of protest against the new drinking laws. The President wanted them to be cut down from 11-12 to 12-11. Some of the local's weren't too happy, but Rinoa and Zell managed to calm it. Hopefully I'll have the rest of this week off, unlucky for them, the headmaster's got them on Substitute Duty! Lucky for me though, I really wanted to go shopping in esthar with Matron. We've seen the cutest." Selphie went on at great length about some girly nonsense, till she realised that I wasn't really interested.
"That's nice dear", I muttered repeatedly as I ate, attempting to build up enough strength to teach class 4b for three hours. I hated teaching theory. It was as boring for me as the students.
Selphie suddenly stopped mid-sentence. She gasped as she saw the time. Half past eight. "OH NO! The Headmaster wanted to see me, like 15 minutes ago. I think I'll be given a new tutorial class. My last group were a tad unruly," she grinned, "though part of that may have been my fault. Having me shouting BOOYAKA every five minutes might have made them a bit crazy. Anyway, see you at the staff meeting at seven tonight!" She stood up and flounced off towards the door, singing loudly, making people stare at her yellow figure in disbelief. How anyone could be this perky at half past eight on a Tuesday morning was beyond me.
*Everyone is perky compared to you. You're just lifeless compared to Selphie.*
I turned back to my grapefruit. Turned back to my thoughts for a brief moment. I became once again engrossed in chastising the world in my mind. A sharp ringing of the alarm. My teaching day had begun.
*No rest for the wicked. Or even you, Quistis Trepe.*