Dreams I Dreamt Instead
By Fujifunmum
Chapter 13: Games
Kaoru rested her head gently on Kenshin's chest. She was wrapped tightly in his arms, the place where she felt safe; the place where she felt loved. Her breathing slowed and she began to relax, smiling at the peaceful rise and fall of Kenshin's chest beneath her. She tilted up her head slightly to rest her chin on his solar plexus, eliciting an "oomph" from her husband in response. She just smiled at him when he looked down at her, his violet eyes seeking hers to read her reactions and search her face for comfort.
"What do you think's going to happen?"
"Hopefully, you'll get pregnant and we'll have a healthy baby and Kenji will stop hating me."
Kaoru sat up on one elbow so she could look her husband in the eye to see if he was kidding or not. Not.
"That's not what I'm talking about you baka, and Kenji doesn't hate you."
"Then what are you talking about?"
"Sanosuke and Misao."
"I told you not to worry about them. They will be fine."
Kaoru sank back down to snuggle in Kenshin's arms. "I didn't exactly have a chance to talk to Misao. I was trying to decide how to raise the issue when Sanosuke started bellowing for her."
"What?! You didn't even talk to her after blackmailing me into talking to Sano?" Kenshin rubbed his chin on the top of Kaoru's head, smiling at her admission.
Karou had the good grace to look a little sheepish as she smiled up at Kenshin. "I made it up to you, didn't I? Besides, it wasn't really blackmail, it was just a little wifely encouragement to do the right thing."
"Oro?"
"I hadn't figured out how to broach the subject with Misao and then Sanosuke started yelling for her and she was off like a shot." Kaoru paused and knitted her brows as she considered Misao's actions. "Actually, her taking off towards Sanosuke when she knew by his tone that he was furious with her speaks volumes. She must be over Aoshi." She looked up at Kenshin again. "Why did you drag me out of there? If we had stayed I would really know what was going on."
"I like you better here, focused on our family rather than worrying about Sanosuke and Misao. Let them work it out in their own way." He slid Karou up in his arms so he could whisper in her ear, "Do you want another boy or a girl this time?"
"Either is fine with me, as long as the baby is healthy." Kaoru sighed and smiled at her husband as he stopped speaking and nibbled on her earlobe. She reluctantly pulled back a little so she could look into Kenshin's eyes when she admitted, "I know I spoil Kenji, but he is so sweet when he's with me. I didn't realize how he badly he behaves with you until Misao told me the story about the laundry. Do you want me to punish him?"
Kenshin looked down at his concerned wife. Kaoru was biting her lip and scowling, worrying her lip with her teeth. Her eyes, when she looked up at him, were deep pools of troubled blue water. The tension between her son and her husband was a sore spot in her happy marriage, one she wanted to smooth over and repair as soon as possible.
"No. Neither one of us can stand your anger when it's real. Keep giving him your unqualified love, just as you give it to me. The only thing I can think of to help is if you let him know how much you love me, too. And the new baby, too, when it comes. Teach him that your heart is big enough to love all of us. Maybe he'll learn that his heart is that big, too."
"How can he not know how much I love you, Kenshin?" Kaoru paused and then her smile turned mischievous. "I know, I'll practice by showing you. Maybe something will come to me…"
"Oro!"
Megumi looked down at Aoshi's hand on her arm. It tightened slightly in response to her attention. She was surprised at the warmth of his hands. She was so used to the cold and calculating look in his ice blue eyes that she expected everything about him to be cold and unfeeling. In their long acquaintance she had never seen him smile, nor had she seen any evidence of the warmer human emotions. An aloof competence had radiated from him during her slavery at Karnyuu's mansion. The few times she had seen him during her enforced servitude, he had merely glanced her way, barely noticing her. He had been guarding Karnyuu personally, and his attitude had been wary and observant. His eyes only appeared to light on her to assess her threat to his employer. Their time there had culminated in his return of her knife before his first fight with Ken-san. It was the only time she had ever seen pity in his eyes, or any real notice of her situation. Hopelessness and hatred bordering on madness had been in evidence later that night when he had stood on the rooftop at Karnyuu's holding the four severed heads of his fallen friends.
Later, at the Kamiya dojo his cold eyes had bored through her when he demanded that she tell him where Kenshin had gone. Wild eyes threatening her with extreme retribution for any denial or subterfuge. Saitou had taken his attention from her, turning his cold eyes away from her until much later, when she treated him for the chest wound Kenshin had inflicted at Shishio's. Then it had been her turn for pity. He had been returned to his home and family by Kenshin's efforts, but he was distracted and withdrawn to the point of worry for his health. As the resident physician she attended to his body's wounds, but she saw clearly that there were wounds of his heart and mind that she could not heal. She had watched in silence as he retreated from his family into the solitary solace of meditation.
She had assured Misao, Okina and the other Oniwabanshuu that his wounds were healing and that what he needed most was time. Now, years later, as she felt the warmth of his hand grasping her arm as if it were a lifeline, she wondered if her diagnosis had been faulty. Her gaze drifted from his hand to his face as her mind drifted from the past to the present.
Again, the fire behind the blue ice captured her attention. Her face softened and the corners of her mouth rose in a very small smile as she kept looking in his eyes, but took his hand away from her arm and into both of hers.
"Dinner," she said. "It's been a long day for me and I'm hungry. You can tell me all about Misao an Sanosuke," she paused, the fire in front of her had flickered in response to the mention of their names, "or your meditations, or the weather in Kyoto. But only over dinner."
He allowed her to sweep past him and followed her lead as she kept his hand in one of hers and led them both out of her office. As they retraced his steps into the clinic Aoshi watched her moving in front of him. The gentle sway of her hips was mesmerizing and matched only by the swing of her hair over her back, hiding that intricate obi from his view again.
She locked the front door behind them and gestured for him to follow her around the corner of the building. The clinic faced the street, making it easy for her patients to find her. The narrow passageway at the side of the building was entered through a locked gate, ensuring her privacy. The solid gate opened on a footpath of small gravel paving that looked little used and well cared for. At the rear of the building was another gate, also locked. This gate opened onto a surprise gift. A garden of small size, but promising great beauty, even in the murky shadows of the night that greeted them. Wafts of delicate scents welcomed the good doctor home from the toils of her day.
Megumi took his hand again, leading him gracefully around the gently curving footpath. "I planted many herbs and medicinal plants here to use in my practice, but I also planted every flower and tree I could find with a nighttime fragrance. This is my welcome home, my real payment for my hard work. Do you like it?"
"It suits you."
"As does your brevity," she replied, as they reached the steps of her small house. Set back from the street and with the lateness of the hour, the only sound to reach their ears was the water dripping into the nearby pond that graced the garden. The fresh scent of the water melded with the coolness of the night air to remind her that she had forgotten her haori at the clinic.
"Let's go in. Now I'm both cold and hungry." She opened the front door and led him into the main seating area, lighting a fire she must have prepared earlier in the day. She motioned for him to sit by the fire, but he shook his head and followed her into the kitchen. It was a small anteroom, functional and clearly adequate to the needs of a person living alone in the house. He stood just inside the doorway and watched as she immediately set to work preparing their dinner.
"I would ask you to sit down, but as you can see, that's not a practical suggestion in this space." She looked over her shoulder at him, a glint showing in her eyes as she continued. "I would ask you to keep me company, but as I recall, that is not your specialty." She stopped working long enough to turn around and look at him, mainly to see if her remark had gotten a rise out of him. As usual, his face showed no emotion. But still she could see the fire behind the ice.
Sighing, she began again. "Will you at least tell me how Ken-san and Kaoru are? If you came from Tokyo you must have seen them, ne?"
"No. I didn't see them." That was nearly true. He had seen them entering the Crane, but he had not spoken with them, nor could he relate to her any information about them.
"My, you are a fountain of information, aren't you?" She filled a teapot with hot water, and placed it on a tray with teacups, chop sticks and bowls of rice. "Then at least make yourself useful by taking this tray into the other room so we can eat by the fire. I will bring the rest of the food."
Aoshi took the tray from her, barely grazing her fingertips in the transfer and holding her eyes for a moment. He made it clear that he did have something to say to her, even if he hadn't yet said it. Megumi placed the remaining bowls of food on another tray and followed him. They sat by the fire and she served them both, deferring to him as her guest.
They ate in silence for a while, enjoying the food and the fire. Megumi was hungry and as soon as she made sure her guest was served and served well she turned her attention to her own meal. Aoshi ate sparingly at first, but then seemed to find his appetite, finishing most of what she had given him. When she offered more, he politely refused, sipping his tea as he waited for her to finish.
"I had forgotten what a good cook you are, Megumi."
Startled, Megumi set her chopsticks down and took a sip of her tea. "I hadn't realized that you even knew that I cooked, but now I remember that I did cook for you both before and after Jinchuu." She kept her eyes veiled by her bangs. Jinchuu brought back many sad memories for her. Kenshin in Rakuminmura, believing Kaoru was dead, his tears in the dojo as he bewailed his fate and the failure of his Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu to bring or hold any happiness to his life. But Aoshi had been instrumental in helping them to rescue Kaoru. It had been Aoshi who had unearthed Gein's doll. It was Aoshi who had impaled it with his kodachi against her wishes and better judgment. It was Aoshi, who had been correct. She looked up to meet the same blue eyes that had insisted so long ago that she had been too blinded by emotion to see the well-hidden truth. Her memory flared with other, more desperate and painful memories.
Her eyes flashed as she said, "So you thought I was enamored of Sanosuke."
"I was wrong."
"You, of all people should have known that was not possible." The anger leaked from the edges of her aura, the aura of disdain and dark humor that she wore to reflect the pain beneath, to hide her own dark fears and sorrow.
Now the fire in Aoshi's eyes paled as his eyes widened in surprise. What should he have known? She could only be referring to Karnyuu and her time as his prisoner, guarded by the Oniwabanshuu. His intellect told him it was more than the opium. She was not speaking with such vehemence of being forced to produce the prized opiate. His mind raced to catalog the events of so long ago. He couldn't remember another event that would account for her reaction. Then he reminded himself to search with his emotions. Her ki was already blazing in his senses, but that did not reveal the cause, only the depth of feeling. He observed her blazing eyes, filled with fear and something more. It was retribution that he felt. And the tiniest twitch of her lips confirmed her agitation.
"Karnyuu?"
"Do not utter that name under my roof Aoshi!" Megumi immediately rose and taking as many dishes as she could carry on her tray, fled to the kitchen.
Aoshi was on his feet and following her in the next moment. He stood in the doorway and took in the sight of her griping the counter until her knuckles were white with the exertion. Her back was to him, but her entire body shook with the shudders of her labored breathing. He couldn't tell if it was anger or tears that moved her until he felt the vibrancy of her ki wavering with fear. She was angry at her own fear. She was right, he should have known. He had thought her safe with Karnyuu. He had thought wrong.
"I didn't know, Megumi."
She turned to face him, leaning against the counter, her eyes still blazing with the anger she had never expressed.
"And if you had?"
He hesitated and she smirked at him, resuming her standard pose of the sophisticated lady doctor in full control of her life and living it on her own terms.
"Perhaps I should have screamed, but as I recall that wasn't physically possible at the time." Her voice making light of what was clearly the most painful of memories broke his heart and his silence.
"I would like to tell you that I would have stopped him if I had known. The thought of him touching you makes me physically ill. And I don't think any of the Omitsu knew or they would have informed me. But when I think back on those days I must be honest and admit that I might not have acted."
"Why?" The vehemence was back in her voice, the anger again flashed from her eyes.
"Why did you even work for scum like Karnyuu?"
"After working for Tokugawa Yoshinobu at Edo castle, the last Tokugawa shogun, and sitting out the Bakumatsu waiting for the chance to attack – not surrender, guarding Karnyuu's interests was the only work I could find for my Omitsu." Aoshi paused, but did not flinch from her direct and accusing stare. "Then it seemed like the only reasonable choice. Now it feels like the first in a long line of well reasoned errors of judgment. My clan members paid the ultimate price for that mistake, losing their lives."
"I saw you on the roof, Aoshi, holding the severed heads of your comrades. What did you lose?" It was clear that she wanted her eyes and voice to be cold as ice as she reminded him of his worst nightmare. She faltered and failed miserably, her entire countenance softening with the knowledge of their shared losses to Karnyuu.
"The tenor of our losses differs, but in total, our losses seem to be more shared than I had imagined." He crossed the small space between them and stood close to her, but did not touch her. "You couldn't choose Sanosuke, could you? He would have wanted what you did not want to give. Instead, it was safe to love 'Ken-san'. A love both worthy and sure to be unrequited. Both Sagara and Himura saved you, but only Himura had already given his heart."
He touched her face, very softly. She recoiled from it as it burned by his fingertips.
"I can't…I can't let anyone touch me. Not after what Karnyuu…" She crumpled and he caught her, holding her lightly, wanting to balance her but not to threaten her. Balance, that was what she needed. And what she had to offer as well. As he steadied her, he stepped back, indicating his respect for her wish to remain apart, untouched. He took her elbow and led her back to the fire, wishing its heat and light to assure her of his intentions.
When she was settled, looking distant and pained, he said, "I'll get us more tea."
"Come closer, woman," Sano told her, wearing his signature smirk.
"And how would you suggest I do that? I'm already closer to you than I've ever been to any man. And by the way, PUT ME DOWN, baka." Misao struggled briefly in his grasp, but didn't move her arms from around his neck, nor did she attempt to back away from their face to face conversation. Sano just laughed at her and continued to hold her a foot off the floor, captured in his arms.
Sano cocked his head to the side and smirked some more. "We've had our first big fight, woman, don't you think it's time we kissed and made up?"
Misao blushed and then glared at him. "Let go of me Sano, I mean it!"
"Nope. I think I've finally got you right where I want you, woman."
Before Misao could react, Sanosuke moved the fraction of an inch between them to give her a very swift kiss. He smiled against her lips at the clear surprise registering in her eyes. She definitely had not expected him to actually kiss her, but she was not moving away, fighting him or returning his kiss. It was then that it occurred to Sanosuke that it just might be the first real kiss Misao had ever received from a man. Aoshi was a bigger fool than he had thought. Chuckling, he withdrew slightly, keeping her tightly clasped to him.
"I'm forgiving you for going to Saitou behind my back woman, don't you think that's at least worth a kiss?" She was already blushing and that blush just kept getting deeper as he watched her. She still looked shocked, but she began to smile back at him, encouraging his own smile to broaden and she tilted her head slightly as she whispered against his lips, "Put me down, Sano," ending the phrase by kissing him in return.
Never being a man to follow orders, Sano chose to sit down on the chair beside them, the one she had been standing on before, keeping her close by catching her under both knees as he sat to keep her facing him on his lap. He was once again grateful for the revealing Omitsu uniform she wore as he ran his hands up the backs of her thighs, over her backside and up to wrap around her back and keep her close. All without breaking her kiss.
"How's this missy? Comfy?" He said when she broke their kiss and blushed at their new situation.
"Sano, someone could come in here and see us like this!" But again, she did not take her arms from around his neck, nor did she try to get up off his lap.
Sanosuke eyes shone with the glint of an idea. "No problem," he said as he got up out the chair like a shot, catching her under her backside. Misao yelped and clung to him in surprise, so she now had both her arms and legs wrapped around him.
She might have tried to stop him, but Sanosuke was already on the move, walking quickly to the back stairs and taking them two at a time in his haste to reach the upper floor. Misao had no choice but to hang onto him tightly to keep from falling.
"Where are we going?"
"My room."
"Why?"
"Because it's bigger than your room."
"What? I'm the Okashira! Why do you have a bigger room than I do?"
"So I can share it with you."
"Oh, well, I guess that's OK then." Misao smiled and giggled at him. She hadn't expected him to forgive her, and now he had actually kissed her. She had kissed him back, too. And didn't regret that at all. In fact, she watched his lips as they reached the top of the stairs and he covered the distance to his room in a few quick strides. Would he kiss her again? If he didn't do it quick enough, she was going to kiss him again in another two seconds. It wasn't until Sanosuke shifted her to open the door to his room that she realized where his hands had been. Maybe she was in for more than kissing. Was she ready for that?
"Oh, yes," she said as Sanosuke closed the door behind them. "I think this is just what I want. And I'm keeping the room, too."
Sano's laughter just echoed down the hall.
Author's Note: Thanks for Reading and Reviewing to Firuze Khanume, Autumnfire, Midori Natari Himura, Gochan, Akin Sijin, Scorpion05, sarah, kongykun, JadeGoddess, rizu, BladeRy, Eternitys End, EK, and Lizzie