A Voldemort Christmas Carol
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JKR, various publishers of the HP series. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Plot based on 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens.
Chapter 5 – Christmas Day (uploaded 12/23/03)
Voldemort was awaken by someone pounding on the main doors. He stuck his head out the window. "What do you want?" the dark wizard yelled down. "Stop pounding!" He continued to hear the pounding inside his head.
It was snowing lightly. Snape looked up to the tower window and held his hands away from his body, "My Lord, you ordered me here today. If you'd rather be left alone, I'll leave."
Voldemort yelled back, "Come straight to my quarters." Just then the door clicked open.
The potions expert grabbed the bridge of his nose as he entered the Great Hall and observed magical snow falling from the ceiling and Christmas carols coming from the rafters. He wasn't watching where he was going and nearly stepped on Nagini's tail. He got fair warning when she coiled up and hissed nastily at him. His knock on his master's door was quickly answered.
Voldemort was still in his pajamas, kneeling on the floor holding his head. "Oh, my head. It's pounding so hard I'm hearing church bells. Do you still have headache solution? Not the regular strength, mind you, the one for mega migraines."
"In my potion storage, sir."
"Get it quickly. Come back in less than a minute and I'll spare you the Cruciatus Curse."
Snape's eyes widened, he immediately disapparated to his storage. Ten seconds later, he apparated back, potion in hand. Apparently Voldemort had changed the apparition wards around Hogwarts. "Good man," he grimaced as he snatched the flask from the potion master's yellowed fingers.
"What's today?" Voldemort demanded after swallowing the solution.
Snape's eyes narrowed. "Pardon? It's Thursday," he answered softly.
"No, not that," Voldemort growled, "It's Christmas, isn't it?"
"It is, sir." Snape looked suspiciously at his evil master, "Are you alright now?" Snape started backing out of the room slowly, not allowing his eyes to leave the other man.
"I'm not done with you," Voldemort looked out the window. "Come here." Snape joined him at the window and saw several black robed figures scrambling in the snow. "That would be Harry Potter and his friends coming to raid the kitchens for their Christmas dinner. I saw it in a vision last night."
"And you want me to stop all of them by myself?" Snape raised an eyebrow.
"Shut up and let me finish!" Voldemort pointed his wand at his Death Eater, who immediately dropped to one knee and bowed his head.
"Go into the storage dungeon and get the raiding sacks, the red ones."
"Did I hear you correctly, my Lord?" Snape looked incredulously at his evil master.
"Snape, if you interrupt me one more time before I'm through speaking, I'll hex you into next year," Voldemort said in a dangerous tone. The confused Death Eater only bowed his head in obedience and listened carefully to the rest of his instructions. "Give them their Christmas dinner and get rid of them."
'Alohamora' didn't work, so Dennis Creevey was trying to pick the lock to the kitchens while everybody else hid behind the bushes. Snape opened the door and Dennis cowered behind Harry. "Potter," they all jumped when they heard the deep, silky and all too familiar voice of their snarky potions master, "didn't you get the owl? Christmas has been cancelled." Snape sneered, showing his crooked yellow teeth.
The boy-who-was-almost-a-man stood up to his sarcastic professor. He hadn't grown tall enough to see him eye-to-eye. Nevertheless, he said, "Happy Christmas, Professor. We were just reminiscing about the good old days in Hogwarts castle and—"
"Save your bullshit for somebody else, Potter," Snape spat.
"Let's get this over with. Apparently Dumbledore's Christmas curse has had an effect on the Dark Lord. You will be allowed access to the kitchen, as long as you don't cause any damage to the castle. I take it you didn't think ahead as to how you would carry away your plundering?"
"Uh, no," Harry looked down at his empty hands, then at his companions who, in turn all shook their heads.
Snape thrust a red sack into Harry's chest, "Make it quick, I have work to do." As everybody else filed in, they were each handed an identical sack. They were allowed to take what they wanted for Christmas dinner and they were made to leave immediately afterward.
"Snape, I had a vision last night. Most of it is of no consequence, however, I did have a glimpse into the future. I have reason to doubt your loyalty to me."
"My lord, I have never done anything that you should question my loyalty."
"Not yet, perhaps. You have detention today." Voldemort waved his wand, and instantly, Snape's black billowy robes changed into a Santa suit, complete with belly and fluffy white beard. Snape moaned and tried to take off the hat and beard, but it hurt when he tugged. "Take this big red raiding sack around the castle and fill it with whatever old robes and shoes you find in the old dormitories. You will apparate to Black's orphanage, the one on Grimmauld Place, and leave it there."
Voldemort continued, "You will fill this second sack with food and wolfsbane potion ingredients and leave it at the werewolf sanctuary."
Snape completed his chores and arrived back at Hogwarts, more grumpy than ever. But he checked his anger in the presence of his evil master. Voldemort had already drawn up a sleigh and had thestrals harnessed. "You will drive me to Malfoy's party."
"Please, master, allow me to change into my robes. I am your humble servant. You have my loyalty to the end." Snape bowed his head, "I was caught apparating into the orphanage and made to suffer an afternoon of loud annoying kids who wanted to bounce on my lap. Sirius Black even jumped on my lap and made his Christmas wish." Voldemort snorted at the visual. "Then at the sanctuary, the werewolf Lupin licked my nose! Master, I would rather suffer ten, err five, um TWO minutes of 'crucio' rather than show up at the party dressed like this."
"I am unimpressed, Snape. I saw in my vision that you will have to wear that costume all night anyway. Let's go or I will have you stand in a muggle shopping mall. I don't want to miss the games, I'm looking forward to playing Hex the Troll."
That evening muggles and wizards, alike, were witness to a fat man with a large hooked nose in a red suit and his elf flying over the skies of Northern England in a horseless open sleigh. The Ministry of Magic dismissed the reports as a Christmas hoax, as did the muggle authorities.
The End
o
A/N: I hope the ending wasn't too lame. I've had three versions and I wasn't happy with any of them. At least it was delivered before Christmas, so Happy Holidays, everyone!
Now I can get back to my other story, Another Chance, where they just had an exciting game of pick-up quidditch: Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Lupin, Tonks, Bill Weasley vs Harry, Ron, Ginny, Draco, Vincent Crabbe & Gregory Goyle.
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JKR, various publishers of the HP series. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Plot based on 'A Christmas Carol' by Charles Dickens.
Chapter 5 – Christmas Day (uploaded 12/23/03)
Voldemort was awaken by someone pounding on the main doors. He stuck his head out the window. "What do you want?" the dark wizard yelled down. "Stop pounding!" He continued to hear the pounding inside his head.
It was snowing lightly. Snape looked up to the tower window and held his hands away from his body, "My Lord, you ordered me here today. If you'd rather be left alone, I'll leave."
Voldemort yelled back, "Come straight to my quarters." Just then the door clicked open.
The potions expert grabbed the bridge of his nose as he entered the Great Hall and observed magical snow falling from the ceiling and Christmas carols coming from the rafters. He wasn't watching where he was going and nearly stepped on Nagini's tail. He got fair warning when she coiled up and hissed nastily at him. His knock on his master's door was quickly answered.
Voldemort was still in his pajamas, kneeling on the floor holding his head. "Oh, my head. It's pounding so hard I'm hearing church bells. Do you still have headache solution? Not the regular strength, mind you, the one for mega migraines."
"In my potion storage, sir."
"Get it quickly. Come back in less than a minute and I'll spare you the Cruciatus Curse."
Snape's eyes widened, he immediately disapparated to his storage. Ten seconds later, he apparated back, potion in hand. Apparently Voldemort had changed the apparition wards around Hogwarts. "Good man," he grimaced as he snatched the flask from the potion master's yellowed fingers.
"What's today?" Voldemort demanded after swallowing the solution.
Snape's eyes narrowed. "Pardon? It's Thursday," he answered softly.
"No, not that," Voldemort growled, "It's Christmas, isn't it?"
"It is, sir." Snape looked suspiciously at his evil master, "Are you alright now?" Snape started backing out of the room slowly, not allowing his eyes to leave the other man.
"I'm not done with you," Voldemort looked out the window. "Come here." Snape joined him at the window and saw several black robed figures scrambling in the snow. "That would be Harry Potter and his friends coming to raid the kitchens for their Christmas dinner. I saw it in a vision last night."
"And you want me to stop all of them by myself?" Snape raised an eyebrow.
"Shut up and let me finish!" Voldemort pointed his wand at his Death Eater, who immediately dropped to one knee and bowed his head.
"Go into the storage dungeon and get the raiding sacks, the red ones."
"Did I hear you correctly, my Lord?" Snape looked incredulously at his evil master.
"Snape, if you interrupt me one more time before I'm through speaking, I'll hex you into next year," Voldemort said in a dangerous tone. The confused Death Eater only bowed his head in obedience and listened carefully to the rest of his instructions. "Give them their Christmas dinner and get rid of them."
'Alohamora' didn't work, so Dennis Creevey was trying to pick the lock to the kitchens while everybody else hid behind the bushes. Snape opened the door and Dennis cowered behind Harry. "Potter," they all jumped when they heard the deep, silky and all too familiar voice of their snarky potions master, "didn't you get the owl? Christmas has been cancelled." Snape sneered, showing his crooked yellow teeth.
The boy-who-was-almost-a-man stood up to his sarcastic professor. He hadn't grown tall enough to see him eye-to-eye. Nevertheless, he said, "Happy Christmas, Professor. We were just reminiscing about the good old days in Hogwarts castle and—"
"Save your bullshit for somebody else, Potter," Snape spat.
"Let's get this over with. Apparently Dumbledore's Christmas curse has had an effect on the Dark Lord. You will be allowed access to the kitchen, as long as you don't cause any damage to the castle. I take it you didn't think ahead as to how you would carry away your plundering?"
"Uh, no," Harry looked down at his empty hands, then at his companions who, in turn all shook their heads.
Snape thrust a red sack into Harry's chest, "Make it quick, I have work to do." As everybody else filed in, they were each handed an identical sack. They were allowed to take what they wanted for Christmas dinner and they were made to leave immediately afterward.
"Snape, I had a vision last night. Most of it is of no consequence, however, I did have a glimpse into the future. I have reason to doubt your loyalty to me."
"My lord, I have never done anything that you should question my loyalty."
"Not yet, perhaps. You have detention today." Voldemort waved his wand, and instantly, Snape's black billowy robes changed into a Santa suit, complete with belly and fluffy white beard. Snape moaned and tried to take off the hat and beard, but it hurt when he tugged. "Take this big red raiding sack around the castle and fill it with whatever old robes and shoes you find in the old dormitories. You will apparate to Black's orphanage, the one on Grimmauld Place, and leave it there."
Voldemort continued, "You will fill this second sack with food and wolfsbane potion ingredients and leave it at the werewolf sanctuary."
Snape completed his chores and arrived back at Hogwarts, more grumpy than ever. But he checked his anger in the presence of his evil master. Voldemort had already drawn up a sleigh and had thestrals harnessed. "You will drive me to Malfoy's party."
"Please, master, allow me to change into my robes. I am your humble servant. You have my loyalty to the end." Snape bowed his head, "I was caught apparating into the orphanage and made to suffer an afternoon of loud annoying kids who wanted to bounce on my lap. Sirius Black even jumped on my lap and made his Christmas wish." Voldemort snorted at the visual. "Then at the sanctuary, the werewolf Lupin licked my nose! Master, I would rather suffer ten, err five, um TWO minutes of 'crucio' rather than show up at the party dressed like this."
"I am unimpressed, Snape. I saw in my vision that you will have to wear that costume all night anyway. Let's go or I will have you stand in a muggle shopping mall. I don't want to miss the games, I'm looking forward to playing Hex the Troll."
That evening muggles and wizards, alike, were witness to a fat man with a large hooked nose in a red suit and his elf flying over the skies of Northern England in a horseless open sleigh. The Ministry of Magic dismissed the reports as a Christmas hoax, as did the muggle authorities.
The End
o
A/N: I hope the ending wasn't too lame. I've had three versions and I wasn't happy with any of them. At least it was delivered before Christmas, so Happy Holidays, everyone!
Now I can get back to my other story, Another Chance, where they just had an exciting game of pick-up quidditch: Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape, Lupin, Tonks, Bill Weasley vs Harry, Ron, Ginny, Draco, Vincent Crabbe & Gregory Goyle.