"Naughty and/or Nice"
(At the North Pole)
(We see Santa at his desk, with his brow furrowed. He is looking at the list on his desk. Suddenly, an elf walks through the hallway and Santa looks up.)
Santa: Tinkdrop. Could you help me with something?
Tinkdrop: (comes into the room) Yes, sir?
Santa: I just need someone else's opinion on something. I've been going through my Naughty/Nice list, and I just can't make a decision about this one girl.
Tinkdrop: (looks at the paper) Daria Morgendorffer? Well, it says here she's over age. Can't you just skip her?
Santa: (sighs) That's not how it works. I still need to keep track of these things for dispension of good luck as well as toys. What I mark down could be the difference between a good year and a bad year for Daria. I just don't know if she's naughty or nice. Let me read you some examples.
She always does her homework.
Tinkdrop: That's good!
Santa: Sometimes she sells it to other people for them to turn in.
Tinkdrop: That's bad.
Santa: She often pokes fun at others' stupidity.
Tinkdrop: That's also bad.
Santa: But she also tries to help them whenever she can.
Tinkdrop: That's good!
(Later on)
Santa: She sometimes goes to the nursing home to read an elderly woman.
Tinkdrop: (beginning to tire) That's good.
Santa: But…..
(Tinkdrop holds his head in his hands)
(Later still….)
Santa: She once told her sister that the principal was using security cameras in locker rooms to sell tapes to pay for the *other* cameras.
Tinkdrop: (laughs, then stops at the look Santa gives him) Uh.. That's bad.
Santa: She….
Tinkdrop: Santa, what do you want from me? I run the pooper-scooper in the reindeer stables…. I'm not qualified to judge moral character.
Santa: Hm. I'll just put her down for 'Nice' and give the kid a break. OK, now let's go over this one more time.
Tinkdrop: Again?!
Santa: I have to check it twice, after all. Hey! Stop banging your head into my wall!