"Have an Above Average December 25th If You Want To"
Tom: We here at the set of 'Daria' just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas.
Daria: Uh, Tom? Not everyone celebrates Christmas. What about the Jewish? They celebrate Chanukah.
Tom: Why is it you care? Are you Jewish?
Daria: No, just empathetic.
Jane: Empathetic? What kind of religion is that?
Tom: Well, OK. Merry Christmas *and* Happy Chanukah.
Jane: Wait! What about Kwanzaa, that African holiday. And I'm sure there are a lot more celebrations throughout the world.
Tom: Well what should I say? I know….. Happy Holidays, everyone!
Daria: Not everyone celebrates a holiday.
Tom: Um…. Happy…. Winter?
Jane: The people in Australia are having summer now.
Tom: (getting irritated) Listen what difference does this make? I mean, the majority of people who will see this are white Americans who celebrate Christmas!
Daria: So you're saying the majority is more important than the minorities. I can't believe you just said that.
Jane: Wow, I never knew you were racist.
Tom: I'm not! I take it back. Let me try again. (He thinks awhile, then smiles) No matter what your ethnicity or religion, spend the present time doing good, having fun, staying safe, and being happy.
(He grins, thinking he's got them beat, until he sees them glaring a little. His smile falters)
Jane: Hey, don't tell them what to do! You're not the boss of them!
Daria: (suspicious) I don't like the way you're grinning. And did I just see you wink at the camera? You're cheating on me with a girl in the audience, aren't you? I knew it.
(Tom runs away screaming in frustration as the girls glare after him. After he's gone, they smile and chuckle a little)
Daria: Heh. That was fun. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.
Jane: (to audience) Merry Christmas, everyone! And may all your greetings be politically correct!
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The End
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~~Authors Notes and Interesting Information~~~
The book Trent gives Daria for Christmas is based on a book I saw once in the New Releases section of a book store. (Not intended to offend homosexuals, non-Christians, or Canadians.)
Trent seriously doesn't like bookstores. See "Pierce Me" if you still have your doubts.
The Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kids were real also. They were introduced in 1996 and recalled after complaints poured in about how children were getting their hair and fingers caught inside the doll.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone mentioned in this fic….. except Tinkdrop… but I'd trade him for Daria anytime.
Thanks and mental hugs to my beta readers, Beth Ann, Scarlett, and Tananda! If anything is wrong with this, blame them. ;-)
Thanks for reading!
Merry Christmas!
And may all your greetings be politically correct!
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Wallace: "The question is, what is a Mahna Mahna?"
Statler: "The question is, who cares?
---The Muppet Show (The Mahna Mahna Song)