Chapter 9
Sara found herself yet again standing in front of her old bedroom closet deciding what to wear with her pants as Eric gingerly kissed her neck. The familiarity with which she relived her dream catalyzed her sleeping heart beat.
"I just can't stay." She said again in a younger hopeful voice. "There isn't much time left in the semester for me to take today off. Dr. Kapstack is pushing for me to work over Christmas break. And I know we still have time before the finals but I want to be ready. Not to mention Kasey is calling wrap-up meetings for the club. I just got to go."
"Well I think you should stay."
"I can't. Maybe..."
Before she could finish her sentence he slammed her head into the solid edge of the closet door frame. Instant stars made her stagger backward. Unsure of whether she was going to lose consciousness, she sat heavily down beside their bed. When she raised a slow hand to the left side of her forehead, she drew back bloody fingers.
"I said you are going to stay."
Still staring at the blood on her fingertips and feeling it flowing into her eye she answer back with determination. "No. I've got things to do."
This seemed to enrage him more, which she expected but didn't want to give in to his authority. He instantly grabbed her by the wrist, drawing her upward and finally pushing her back onto the bed to straddle her. She bucked under him and swore through gritted teeth.
"I said, shut up!" He shook her hard and she fell silent.
Her eyes locked with his and she wondered how she ever saw compassion in those icy orbs. "Let me go." She demanded.
"You want to go? Fine. Go!" He shouted, suddenly he dismounting her. "Get your fat ass going if you want to go!"
She looked at him doubtfully but couldn't speak. She couldn't trust him not to attack her if she left. His temper flared inside him and raised his hand to strike her.
"Go!" He yelled making her flinch. "Get out of my face!"
Holding her tongue, so she didn't further provoke him, she dogged out of the room. The warm blood beginning to clot as she went...
"You stayed with Kasey?"
"Yeah." She whispered, unsure this was such a good idea anymore. But she pushed through. "Eric we need to talk."
He turned and sighed, seemingly in great distress by her absence for the passed week and a half. "I know. But let me talk first."
She nodded, unaware she was breaking her first rule.
"I don't want this to be over. I messed up big time and I know that. I'm sorry...I just lost my temper which I shouldn't have. There is no excuse and nothing I can say to justify what happened. From the bottom of my heart, baby, I am so sorry. But you know we are strong and so great together. And we can work through this, I'll try harder. I can take anger management or..."
"I think we should take a break." She interrupted.
"Sara, honey, we don't need a break." He almost laughed at it's absurdity. "I just wanted to be with you and when I couldn't have you, I was upset. That is it. I wanted you all to myself so I could pamper you like a queen. When I couldn't have my way I got angry. You know me. I love you too much. And that means we need more time together, not apart."
"I just think..."
He walked over to her and touched her forehead where the healed cut was hiding under makeup. "I think we should take a vacation together. Me and you in the Bahamas sipping on martinis and laying in the sun."
"What? Eric..."
"No listen. After this semester ends, we should go and have ourselves a tropical Christmas."
She shook her head and backed away. "No. We need a break from...us."
He chewed the inside of his mouth debating the response he wasn't aiming for. "I said I was sorry, Sara. What is this bullshit about breaking up?"
"It is just a break. In a few months when our thoughts are sorted out we can go from there." She said hopefully. "It could be good for us. Time apart to concentrate on..."
"I lose my temper once and you're ready to run. Why am I not surprised? Just like the rest of the jerks in my life: ready to hit me when I'm down. You were never on my side, just in this for yourself."
"What?!" She wanted to recount the times she was stuck by him, or the times she saw passed the flaws and kept trying to make their relationship work, but she quickly decided against it. Now wasn't the time to argue. It was time to walk out before she ended up exactly where she didn't want to be. "Listen, maybe we jumped into this too quickly and we didn't really..."
"I gave you a place to stay and didn't ask for a thing. Do you intend to simply walk all over me and I just roll with the punches? You should climb down from that high horse once in a while, and respect those that go out of their way for a brat like you. Besides, where the hell will you go without me? Who is going to take you in? I'm all you've got."
"Kasey said I could stay with her." She whispered feeling weakened and actual pity for Eric now. "Eric, I'm trying to make this work."
"Liar! You already made plans to leave! We're not discussing our future, you've already decided it for us. You've made up your mind and that's it. Damn you, Sara!"
"Eric..."
His eyes flashed with anger causing her to step back again. "Is there someone else? Another guy? You been spreadin' your legs to any guy with a line?"
"No! It's not that at all." She shook her head violently appalled by the insult. "Eric, slapping someone and demeaning them is not what a relationship is about. What you're doing is abuse."
"Abuse?!" He shouted with untamed fury in his eyes. Her first thought was to run but he was on her too quickly, as he shoved her into the kitchen counter behind her. The pain in her lower back shot through her in sharp prickles.
"Eric!" She cried out. "No!"
Eric's fist hit her squarely in the stomach causing her to double over to expose her shoulders and back to his wrath. One destroying blow struck her to the ground for protection.
"Eric stop! Stop!"
"Abuse?! Abuse?!" He kept repeating as his feet joined the fight kicking her first in the ribs then her thighs with great force. Her hands offered little protection as she huddled on the linoleum floor. Tears now flowed as freely down her cheeks as the blood coursing down her chin from a split lip.
Then it stopped, like a switch was thrown. Sara felt sick with pain and began to rock back and forth crying while Eric panted with exertion.
"Now that's abuse." He breathed. "Bitch."
She wanted to get up, to walk out the door and be strong, to leave him behind for good. But nothing seemed to take the command to transform it into action. Her body felt like fire and she felt so used and mistreated.
Her mind when blank when the tears ran out. There wasn't any way to tell how long she had been laying there and she really didn't care anymore. She was defeated. She closed her eyes hoping she would lapse out of a bad dream and wake up in her bed.
"Get up, Sara. I didn't hit you that hard." He called from another room.
She didn't move. It was safer to pretend she was unconscious.
He waited. "Come on. Are you in there? I said get up."
She didn't move.
"You'll catch the flu lying there all night."
She opened her eyes feeling the weight of his body on the floor. "See you're fine. Now get up."
She closed her eyes again wishing him away.
He grabbed her under the arms and brought her to a standing position.
"There we go. I called Kasey. She's not expecting you." He pushed the hair from her eyes and she jerked hotly away from him.
"Don't touch me."
Eric gripped her upper arm. "I'll touch you if I damn well please. Now, go get your ass cleaned up. You look horrible."
She gathered all her nerve and began to stumble past him towards the door. If she could
"Do you think you can just leave?" He said with a laugh.
She refused to speak, or wouldn't allow herself to speak. Honestly, she couldn't trust herself to say the tactful thing. Concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other, she finally made it to her keys. He had to let her go. He just had to. He's done all he can do to mark her for the rest of her life. He won. She lost. He just had to let her go.
Eric simply stepped between the door and Sara. "Get in the bedroom."
She felt tears sting her eyes again. "Just let me go, Eric."
"Sara, I'm no longer playing nice. I am telling you right now to get undressed and ready for bed."
"No." Her voice cracked as well as her nerve. The legs supporting her began to threaten a hard fall to the ground.
"You aren't leaving." He said now smiling. "Get it through your thick head now and I won't have to beat it into you later."
"I'm not going to press charges. Just let me leave."
"Do you think I'm worried about that?" He slapped the door with aggravation. "Now I'm not telling you again: get undressed and in bed before I get back there."
She debated.
"No."
He response was followed by his open hand across her mouth. Totally beaten for the first time in her life, she began to fall to the floor. He caught her just in time and carried her towards the bedroom...
"Sara!" Jameson shook his sister's shoulders so hard he was sure he was leaving bruises where his fingers lay. "Sara! Wake up!"
Sara's eyes shot open with fear the dream wasn't over as they darted around the room.
"Jesus Christ on a crutch!" He yelled calming his owning beating heart. He slid off the bed and fell to the floor, placing his head in his hands. "What in the hell was that?"
Sara hadn't the strength to sit up and face, who she now recognized as her big brother.
"Sara, what in the world was that about?" Jameson asked again without getting up. "You almost gave me a heart attack."
"Nothing." She whispered closing her eyes concentrating on returning her pulse to normal. "It was just a dream."
"Just a dream? That was not just a dream." He lifted his eyes towards the breaking light around her blinds.
Before she apologize for waking him up there was a knock at the door. They both looked out her bedroom door.
"Who's that?" He asked finally getting his feet under him.
She shrugged and crawled out of bed. "I don't know."
TBC...