Attila
Now, the story of Attila is both a strange and amusing one. Who is Attila you ask? Attila is a stuffed pink rabbit, who currently resides under the bed of Sirius Black. Attila came into our lives one ordinary morning in the Great Hall. I remember it well. Sirius was dangerously close to collapsing in his oatmeal, James was muttering something about waffles, Lily Evans's eyes, and unibrows, and Peter was stuffing himself silly. I swear I was completely and utterly awake, never mind the fact that my elbow was sitting in the butter dish.
That was when Attila came to us, like an Angel from the sky.
Actually, more like a fire spitting demon of hell from the sky. Attila landed in Peter's plate. I do believe that Attila, to this day, holds a grudge against Peter for trying to eat her. This was the first time that we saw the power that she had over people.
Peter picked Attila up and knocked Sirius over the head with her.
Now, Peter is occasionally not the brightest bloke on the block, but even he knows that it is stupid idea to hit Sirius Black for any reason unless you are named James Potter. It was even stupider, as I'm sure he knew, to hit Sirius Black when he was half-asleep. As all in the Great Hall could have guessed, Sirius took Attila from Peter, and used her to knock his ass on the floor.
It took about five seconds before another became victim to Attila bludgeoning. James Potter quickly found himself being beaten with a stuffed animal. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but somehow James got a hold of Attila and began repaying the favor.
Now, as the most level-headed Marauder, it is my job to break up such fights as this. So I did. I relieved James of the stuffed rabbit. And that's when I felt it. The power of Attila overcame me. Before I knew it, I had smacked both Sirius and James with the rabbit. Bad idea.
Sirius and James alone are formidable foes. Together they are deadly. I, of course, realized what I had done and tried to flee, only to be pounced by two black haired boys and pounded with a rabbit.
Now Malfoy, being Malfoy, decided to make some snooty comment involving James, Sirius and I in a very crude manner. (I wasn't exactly paying attention, instead was fending for my life, having given up on dignity quite a while ago.) Now, Sirius has known Malfoy since he was three. Sirius has hated Malfoy since he was three. And Sirius takes insults to heart.
I must say, I've never heard another boy scream like a girl as I did when Malfoy realized that there was a pink rabbit aimed for his head. I was also not aware that stuffed animals could leave bruises, but later that day, in the infirmary, I noticed a very peculiar bruise on Malfoy's head-in the shape of Attila's tail. Anyway, this attack caused Malfoy's cronies to get into the fight, along with several other Slytherins. The Gryffindors, as always, rose to the challenge. In the fight that followed involved flying food, teachers screaming detentions left and right, and people on both sides being pummeled by a stuffed rabbit. Finally the teachers resorted to stunning spells (it took three to subdue Sirius. He didn't wake up for a two days).
Later on it was named the Battle of Attila. No one is sure why the rabbit ended up named Attila; but that is one of the mysteries of life. Like where Attila came from in the first place. She ended up in my dorm room, and was lost in the dark dank portal to hell, also known as Under Sirius's Bed, The Eater of Important Things You Need For Your Next Class, and the Reason that James has No Boxers and Has to Steal Sirius's.
Somedays Attila crawled out of under the bed, and would be later found in strange places, such as in people's showers, the staff room, in the mouth of the lion gargoyle on the fifth floor, under the table at the great hall, and more often than not in toilets. Many times she caused either fights or just scared people enough that they peed their pants. It has not been just once that I have awoken to Attila hanging from a rope tied to the top of my bed, button eyes glowing in the night, fangs bared.
And these are the days Sirius advises therapy. Whether for me or himself I am not sure.
Now, the story of Attila is both a strange and amusing one. Who is Attila you ask? Attila is a stuffed pink rabbit, who currently resides under the bed of Sirius Black. Attila came into our lives one ordinary morning in the Great Hall. I remember it well. Sirius was dangerously close to collapsing in his oatmeal, James was muttering something about waffles, Lily Evans's eyes, and unibrows, and Peter was stuffing himself silly. I swear I was completely and utterly awake, never mind the fact that my elbow was sitting in the butter dish.
That was when Attila came to us, like an Angel from the sky.
Actually, more like a fire spitting demon of hell from the sky. Attila landed in Peter's plate. I do believe that Attila, to this day, holds a grudge against Peter for trying to eat her. This was the first time that we saw the power that she had over people.
Peter picked Attila up and knocked Sirius over the head with her.
Now, Peter is occasionally not the brightest bloke on the block, but even he knows that it is stupid idea to hit Sirius Black for any reason unless you are named James Potter. It was even stupider, as I'm sure he knew, to hit Sirius Black when he was half-asleep. As all in the Great Hall could have guessed, Sirius took Attila from Peter, and used her to knock his ass on the floor.
It took about five seconds before another became victim to Attila bludgeoning. James Potter quickly found himself being beaten with a stuffed animal. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but somehow James got a hold of Attila and began repaying the favor.
Now, as the most level-headed Marauder, it is my job to break up such fights as this. So I did. I relieved James of the stuffed rabbit. And that's when I felt it. The power of Attila overcame me. Before I knew it, I had smacked both Sirius and James with the rabbit. Bad idea.
Sirius and James alone are formidable foes. Together they are deadly. I, of course, realized what I had done and tried to flee, only to be pounced by two black haired boys and pounded with a rabbit.
Now Malfoy, being Malfoy, decided to make some snooty comment involving James, Sirius and I in a very crude manner. (I wasn't exactly paying attention, instead was fending for my life, having given up on dignity quite a while ago.) Now, Sirius has known Malfoy since he was three. Sirius has hated Malfoy since he was three. And Sirius takes insults to heart.
I must say, I've never heard another boy scream like a girl as I did when Malfoy realized that there was a pink rabbit aimed for his head. I was also not aware that stuffed animals could leave bruises, but later that day, in the infirmary, I noticed a very peculiar bruise on Malfoy's head-in the shape of Attila's tail. Anyway, this attack caused Malfoy's cronies to get into the fight, along with several other Slytherins. The Gryffindors, as always, rose to the challenge. In the fight that followed involved flying food, teachers screaming detentions left and right, and people on both sides being pummeled by a stuffed rabbit. Finally the teachers resorted to stunning spells (it took three to subdue Sirius. He didn't wake up for a two days).
Later on it was named the Battle of Attila. No one is sure why the rabbit ended up named Attila; but that is one of the mysteries of life. Like where Attila came from in the first place. She ended up in my dorm room, and was lost in the dark dank portal to hell, also known as Under Sirius's Bed, The Eater of Important Things You Need For Your Next Class, and the Reason that James has No Boxers and Has to Steal Sirius's.
Somedays Attila crawled out of under the bed, and would be later found in strange places, such as in people's showers, the staff room, in the mouth of the lion gargoyle on the fifth floor, under the table at the great hall, and more often than not in toilets. Many times she caused either fights or just scared people enough that they peed their pants. It has not been just once that I have awoken to Attila hanging from a rope tied to the top of my bed, button eyes glowing in the night, fangs bared.
And these are the days Sirius advises therapy. Whether for me or himself I am not sure.