Authors Notes: So here we are at the start of chapter 4, in which we discover some very interesting facts. I'm sorry that this is taking
so long to update but I've been on holiday. Also I would like to point out that this author is English so spells weird. Also
I'm a bit depressed because I'm going back to school in a week (sob). On a completely different train of thought I GOT LotR on
DVD on Tuesday. I was going to wait for the extended version like I did last year but I got to impatient. Oh well it's brilliant
and of course it's cheaper ^_^ So thank you everyone who reviewed/voted. You all get a magic cookie, and if you voted and reviewed or
voted twice, you get 2 cookies *sends out cookies*. Dear dear, I'm running out... I'll have to make some more...*runs off to kitchen*
Disclaimer: I don't own it. Please don't sue. I don't own the Gandalf quote in this chapter too. It's just interesting.
Chapter 4: In which we discover some very interesting facts
~*~*~*~*~
At about the same time that Dom was foraging frantically through Numair's room, His royal Majesty King Jonathan IV of Conté decided
to visit his former training master who just happened to be visiting the palace. Lord Wyldon had several rooms allocated to him. And
Jon, being king, had a copy of each of the keys. So when he knocked on the door and got no answer, he unlocked the door and went inside.
(YES I know this is called breaking & entering, but as it's Jon's palace it doesn't really count).
At first he noticed nothing amiss. But then he noticed a book left open on the bed. That was not like his awfully conventional lord, who
had neatness perfected to an art . Mildly interested, he picked it up. What he saw was the most arcane cookie recipe ever written. Shock
melted into curiosity, as he tore the page out, and made a mental note to test Wyldon's sanity before he left.
~*~*~*~*~
Things were not going so well for Kel and Numair. (Things were going a lot better for Dom as not only had he found Numair's hangover-
cure he had proceeded to drink a good 75% of it. Numair being so preoccupied with the mater of the missing cookbook didn't notice)
"Where the hell is it. I'm absolutely sure I haven't vanished it or made it invisible. Damnit, unless someone's taken it, I'm sure it
can't disapp..." Then what he'd just said stopped him.
Kel was quite thankful Numair had stopped yelling (she was pretty sure that Tyra and Carthak now had heard sufficient and this was
not something she wanted thing she wanted to explain to the King). Though now she was more worried about what Numair had said...
What if someone did have the cookie book (as it had become known). The problem was that as far as they knew, nobody knew they had
it...
But then something stirred in the back of Kel's memory, last night when Dom was drinking, had he-was it possible that he had told
everyone about it. But only one person was sober enough to remember that...
"Neal," she whispered. The two men looked at her. Thirty seconds later they were on their way to Neal's rooms to settle this once
and for all...or so they thought.
~*~*~*~*~
Now despite Neal no longer was poor, (having just made out with Yuki) he was still depressed. The hungover crowd was thinning but
it would be near impossible for him to leave unnoticed (as their hangovers were not so horrible). He debated climbing out the
window but if he slipped (and it was slippery as it had been raining) it was a six story drop over a raging waterfall. Ouch was
the word that sprung to mind when he heard that. So imagine his shock when something very large and heavy dropped on his head
"Ouch," Kel stated as she saw Neal go limp and fall on the floor.
"Serves him right for not giving me any hangover cure, the bastard," Dom replied.
Numair wasn't paying any attention to the Neal abuse (poor Neal). He was looking everywhere for a book Neal didn't have to prevent
the king from finding out what they were cooking. Unfortunately for them he already knew...or atleast thought he did...
~*~*~*~*~
Lord Wyldon of Cavall was utterly utterly confused (poor sod). Though who'd blame him: he'd been summoned before the king-someone who the
conventional knight (I think he's a knight) got on fairly well with. The king had said it was urgent, and Wyldon did not think this was a
good urgent calling. But what choice did he have? He had been summoned so he had to go see him.
"Ah Wyldon, so good to see you. Have a seat." Jon's polite tone did nothing to reassure Wyldon.
"Umm, yes Majesty," he said as he sat. "May I be so uh...bold as to ask why I am here...?"
"Ah yes Wyldon, well I understand that you may be a little um...a little pressured by the um...growing um...female influence in court...
so I wondered if...well to be perfectly frank I think you should have some time off working as a knight...I know how stressful it can be
...you know...get the chance to get to know your...um feminine side....
Wyldon's face went red. It was notoriously difficult to tell if he was blushing out of embarrassment or whether he was trying desperately
trying not to laugh. In truth he was shocked. He...who would win the antifeminist prize of Tortall if there was one. Being told he had to
get 'in touch with his feminist side.'
"May I ask why you think I need some feminist guidance?"
Jon looked uncomfortable, "Well you see I um..." now you see he was in a bit of a dilemma...he had to give a reasonable answer or else
Wyldon would get suspicious but then he could hardly admit to Wyldon he had been sneaking around his rooms, "Well I found you...um taking
an interest in well....cookery. So I took the liberty of asking Cook to give you a crash course in cookery. Naturally she agreed so, meet
her this afternoon at 2:15. (AN: I'm not sure what sort of units of time they measure :) She expects you there on the dot."
Then Wyldon was seized by a sudden thought. This thought turned towards the rather interesting cook book that he had found in Numair's room.
He smiled, "Sire have you read any of Numair's books lately?" Just as he suspected Jon went pale.
"Whatever are you talking about?"
Wyldon became a lot bolder, "I think you were snooping around my rooms and found something that I uh...had in my keeping."
Jon coolly arched one slightly greying eyebrow, "I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about." And with that Wyldon exited the
room.
~*~*~*~*~
Despite Neal is no longer officially 'poor' he was still feeling awful, and very very sorry for himself. He couldn't exactly remember what
had happened; but his head hurt like hell. Always a clear indicator. What was it that Gandalf had said..."when in doubt always follow your
head.' No nose. Well he could try that. The only problem was he wasn't exactly sure which hay his his nose was pointed. It was quite crooked
from when Dom had hit him with the saucepan. He was also quite confused: why the hell did his cousin and his lover (who was also his best
friend) knock him out with a saucepan or something. Now why was it he always got the most bad luck? And Yuki wasn't even here to 'comfort'
him.
At that moment Kel entered the room, looking very remorseful but it was evident she was trying-and failing miserably-to look grim. "Right um
uhi Neal," Kel said, "How are you?" Neal just looked at her. Kel winced, maybe that wasn't exactly the most intelligent thing to say. But still
atleast Neal's expression was funny when she said that. A very Neal-like expression.
"Well I'm alive, but I suppose that's no thanks to you." Neal said sarcastically
" Neal I am so so so sorry, but we think you stole our cookie book-cook book. Sorry, and well...it seemed a very good idea at the time."
"You ramble when you're feeling guilty. It's funny, and what's all this about a cookie cook book?"
"Oh damn! You mean....you mean you didn't steal our cook book?" Neal shook his head slowly. "But...but you're the only one who knew about the
_plan_.
"What plan?"
"THE COOKIE PLAN YOU NUMBSKULL! The one you overheard Dom yelling about!"
"Oh right. No I did know what plan, it's just funny to see you mad."
"Thanks."
"No problem. So who knows about the plan?"
"You, me, Dom, Numair, possibly the whole of the palace or whoever found the cookbook."
"Right." At that moment Dom entered. "Oh look it's my cousin whose sleeping with my best friend and knocked me out with a saucepan, making my
nose be in a direction I can no-longer FOLLOW YOU BASTARD!!!!"
"Neal CALM DOWN. And can't you heal your bloody nose. You're always going on that you're a 'healer'.
"You're just jealous because I look better than you do even with my nose pointing in an odd direction!"
"Atleast I could get a Tortallan to fall in love with me. They had to BLOODY IMPORT ONE FOR YOU TO MARRY!"
.
(All this time Kel was just standing there)
At this point Neal got a bit tongue-tied. You see, he could not think of anything to say as that wold probably insult Kel. And insulting a very
dangerous probably armed Knight. "Well atleast mine is actually beautiful." He hoped Kel could see the truth in a statement such as this. She
did, Dom didn't.
"DON'T YOU INSULT MY LADY KNIGHT!"
"SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND! I'LL INSULT HER THE WAY I WANT!!"
"SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU" Kel had drawn her sword and was brandishing it above their heads, but still scarily too close to comfort. "That's better!
Right now as the only member of this company that is still in possession of a shred of sanity. I suggest we go down to the kitchens to try an see
if we remember any of the recipe and try to make the cookies. We have all the ingredients, we'll be fine without the recipe."
Dom and NEal eyed the sword still hovering above their heads. They smiled and nodded. "Dunno what's she's going on about her being the only one with
sanity. IT's her sword she was waving above our heads," a disgruntled Dom muttered to his cousin.
"What does that say for the mad-woman's boyfriend? If she's mad then surly he is too. Mind you then surly her best friend must be too."
~*~*~*~*~
Wyldon was not having a good time. Not a happy bunny, but he wasn't a rabbit in any way. So I suppose he wouldn't be a happy bunny anyway. Well
he wasn't a happy former training master. (AN: I'll stop rambling now). He was tired, he was hungry (as his food hadn't finished cooking yet)
nd he was COVERED IN FLOUR!!! HE didn't like flour to begin with, nasty horrible stuff- and here he was literally covered with it. And when he
tried to wash it off it turned into a sort of gluey thing. He should have known-when he was younger he used to love making paper mashé out of
flour and water.
So imagine his surprise and pleasure when Neal, Dom, Kel and Numair (who they'd found somewhere around the palace) entered the kitchen arguing
about cookies, recipes and cookboks.
~*~*~*~*~
End AN: OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! In my defence I will say that my floppy disk broke and we didn't have another one to spare.
So I couldn't get this from my computer to the main computer. (My computer doesn't have the internet). And now it is the last day before I go
back to school after half term. And work on GCSE's and stuff. Yawn. And then I had so much school work to do. I am so sorry and th next chapter
will definatly be up before Christmas. And no response to reviewers first of all because I couldn't see the reviews to repond to, and also
because it was a vote ^_^
By the way, if anyone's bored I have a story on fictionpress (true stories) about me making cookies...Maybe I should stop offering people who
review cookies...It's called Cooking COokie Disaters...or is it Cookie Cooking Disasters....
Anyway please review. They motivate me. Oh and yeah, the reason both Jon and Wyldon got the cookbook is because the vote was a tie. And it made
it more interesting.
-Charli ^_^
so long to update but I've been on holiday. Also I would like to point out that this author is English so spells weird. Also
I'm a bit depressed because I'm going back to school in a week (sob). On a completely different train of thought I GOT LotR on
DVD on Tuesday. I was going to wait for the extended version like I did last year but I got to impatient. Oh well it's brilliant
and of course it's cheaper ^_^ So thank you everyone who reviewed/voted. You all get a magic cookie, and if you voted and reviewed or
voted twice, you get 2 cookies *sends out cookies*. Dear dear, I'm running out... I'll have to make some more...*runs off to kitchen*
Disclaimer: I don't own it. Please don't sue. I don't own the Gandalf quote in this chapter too. It's just interesting.
Chapter 4: In which we discover some very interesting facts
~*~*~*~*~
At about the same time that Dom was foraging frantically through Numair's room, His royal Majesty King Jonathan IV of Conté decided
to visit his former training master who just happened to be visiting the palace. Lord Wyldon had several rooms allocated to him. And
Jon, being king, had a copy of each of the keys. So when he knocked on the door and got no answer, he unlocked the door and went inside.
(YES I know this is called breaking & entering, but as it's Jon's palace it doesn't really count).
At first he noticed nothing amiss. But then he noticed a book left open on the bed. That was not like his awfully conventional lord, who
had neatness perfected to an art . Mildly interested, he picked it up. What he saw was the most arcane cookie recipe ever written. Shock
melted into curiosity, as he tore the page out, and made a mental note to test Wyldon's sanity before he left.
~*~*~*~*~
Things were not going so well for Kel and Numair. (Things were going a lot better for Dom as not only had he found Numair's hangover-
cure he had proceeded to drink a good 75% of it. Numair being so preoccupied with the mater of the missing cookbook didn't notice)
"Where the hell is it. I'm absolutely sure I haven't vanished it or made it invisible. Damnit, unless someone's taken it, I'm sure it
can't disapp..." Then what he'd just said stopped him.
Kel was quite thankful Numair had stopped yelling (she was pretty sure that Tyra and Carthak now had heard sufficient and this was
not something she wanted thing she wanted to explain to the King). Though now she was more worried about what Numair had said...
What if someone did have the cookie book (as it had become known). The problem was that as far as they knew, nobody knew they had
it...
But then something stirred in the back of Kel's memory, last night when Dom was drinking, had he-was it possible that he had told
everyone about it. But only one person was sober enough to remember that...
"Neal," she whispered. The two men looked at her. Thirty seconds later they were on their way to Neal's rooms to settle this once
and for all...or so they thought.
~*~*~*~*~
Now despite Neal no longer was poor, (having just made out with Yuki) he was still depressed. The hungover crowd was thinning but
it would be near impossible for him to leave unnoticed (as their hangovers were not so horrible). He debated climbing out the
window but if he slipped (and it was slippery as it had been raining) it was a six story drop over a raging waterfall. Ouch was
the word that sprung to mind when he heard that. So imagine his shock when something very large and heavy dropped on his head
"Ouch," Kel stated as she saw Neal go limp and fall on the floor.
"Serves him right for not giving me any hangover cure, the bastard," Dom replied.
Numair wasn't paying any attention to the Neal abuse (poor Neal). He was looking everywhere for a book Neal didn't have to prevent
the king from finding out what they were cooking. Unfortunately for them he already knew...or atleast thought he did...
~*~*~*~*~
Lord Wyldon of Cavall was utterly utterly confused (poor sod). Though who'd blame him: he'd been summoned before the king-someone who the
conventional knight (I think he's a knight) got on fairly well with. The king had said it was urgent, and Wyldon did not think this was a
good urgent calling. But what choice did he have? He had been summoned so he had to go see him.
"Ah Wyldon, so good to see you. Have a seat." Jon's polite tone did nothing to reassure Wyldon.
"Umm, yes Majesty," he said as he sat. "May I be so uh...bold as to ask why I am here...?"
"Ah yes Wyldon, well I understand that you may be a little um...a little pressured by the um...growing um...female influence in court...
so I wondered if...well to be perfectly frank I think you should have some time off working as a knight...I know how stressful it can be
...you know...get the chance to get to know your...um feminine side....
Wyldon's face went red. It was notoriously difficult to tell if he was blushing out of embarrassment or whether he was trying desperately
trying not to laugh. In truth he was shocked. He...who would win the antifeminist prize of Tortall if there was one. Being told he had to
get 'in touch with his feminist side.'
"May I ask why you think I need some feminist guidance?"
Jon looked uncomfortable, "Well you see I um..." now you see he was in a bit of a dilemma...he had to give a reasonable answer or else
Wyldon would get suspicious but then he could hardly admit to Wyldon he had been sneaking around his rooms, "Well I found you...um taking
an interest in well....cookery. So I took the liberty of asking Cook to give you a crash course in cookery. Naturally she agreed so, meet
her this afternoon at 2:15. (AN: I'm not sure what sort of units of time they measure :) She expects you there on the dot."
Then Wyldon was seized by a sudden thought. This thought turned towards the rather interesting cook book that he had found in Numair's room.
He smiled, "Sire have you read any of Numair's books lately?" Just as he suspected Jon went pale.
"Whatever are you talking about?"
Wyldon became a lot bolder, "I think you were snooping around my rooms and found something that I uh...had in my keeping."
Jon coolly arched one slightly greying eyebrow, "I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about." And with that Wyldon exited the
room.
~*~*~*~*~
Despite Neal is no longer officially 'poor' he was still feeling awful, and very very sorry for himself. He couldn't exactly remember what
had happened; but his head hurt like hell. Always a clear indicator. What was it that Gandalf had said..."when in doubt always follow your
head.' No nose. Well he could try that. The only problem was he wasn't exactly sure which hay his his nose was pointed. It was quite crooked
from when Dom had hit him with the saucepan. He was also quite confused: why the hell did his cousin and his lover (who was also his best
friend) knock him out with a saucepan or something. Now why was it he always got the most bad luck? And Yuki wasn't even here to 'comfort'
him.
At that moment Kel entered the room, looking very remorseful but it was evident she was trying-and failing miserably-to look grim. "Right um
uhi Neal," Kel said, "How are you?" Neal just looked at her. Kel winced, maybe that wasn't exactly the most intelligent thing to say. But still
atleast Neal's expression was funny when she said that. A very Neal-like expression.
"Well I'm alive, but I suppose that's no thanks to you." Neal said sarcastically
" Neal I am so so so sorry, but we think you stole our cookie book-cook book. Sorry, and well...it seemed a very good idea at the time."
"You ramble when you're feeling guilty. It's funny, and what's all this about a cookie cook book?"
"Oh damn! You mean....you mean you didn't steal our cook book?" Neal shook his head slowly. "But...but you're the only one who knew about the
_plan_.
"What plan?"
"THE COOKIE PLAN YOU NUMBSKULL! The one you overheard Dom yelling about!"
"Oh right. No I did know what plan, it's just funny to see you mad."
"Thanks."
"No problem. So who knows about the plan?"
"You, me, Dom, Numair, possibly the whole of the palace or whoever found the cookbook."
"Right." At that moment Dom entered. "Oh look it's my cousin whose sleeping with my best friend and knocked me out with a saucepan, making my
nose be in a direction I can no-longer FOLLOW YOU BASTARD!!!!"
"Neal CALM DOWN. And can't you heal your bloody nose. You're always going on that you're a 'healer'.
"You're just jealous because I look better than you do even with my nose pointing in an odd direction!"
"Atleast I could get a Tortallan to fall in love with me. They had to BLOODY IMPORT ONE FOR YOU TO MARRY!"
.
(All this time Kel was just standing there)
At this point Neal got a bit tongue-tied. You see, he could not think of anything to say as that wold probably insult Kel. And insulting a very
dangerous probably armed Knight. "Well atleast mine is actually beautiful." He hoped Kel could see the truth in a statement such as this. She
did, Dom didn't.
"DON'T YOU INSULT MY LADY KNIGHT!"
"SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND! I'LL INSULT HER THE WAY I WANT!!"
"SHUT UP THE BOTH OF YOU" Kel had drawn her sword and was brandishing it above their heads, but still scarily too close to comfort. "That's better!
Right now as the only member of this company that is still in possession of a shred of sanity. I suggest we go down to the kitchens to try an see
if we remember any of the recipe and try to make the cookies. We have all the ingredients, we'll be fine without the recipe."
Dom and NEal eyed the sword still hovering above their heads. They smiled and nodded. "Dunno what's she's going on about her being the only one with
sanity. IT's her sword she was waving above our heads," a disgruntled Dom muttered to his cousin.
"What does that say for the mad-woman's boyfriend? If she's mad then surly he is too. Mind you then surly her best friend must be too."
~*~*~*~*~
Wyldon was not having a good time. Not a happy bunny, but he wasn't a rabbit in any way. So I suppose he wouldn't be a happy bunny anyway. Well
he wasn't a happy former training master. (AN: I'll stop rambling now). He was tired, he was hungry (as his food hadn't finished cooking yet)
nd he was COVERED IN FLOUR!!! HE didn't like flour to begin with, nasty horrible stuff- and here he was literally covered with it. And when he
tried to wash it off it turned into a sort of gluey thing. He should have known-when he was younger he used to love making paper mashé out of
flour and water.
So imagine his surprise and pleasure when Neal, Dom, Kel and Numair (who they'd found somewhere around the palace) entered the kitchen arguing
about cookies, recipes and cookboks.
~*~*~*~*~
End AN: OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG!! In my defence I will say that my floppy disk broke and we didn't have another one to spare.
So I couldn't get this from my computer to the main computer. (My computer doesn't have the internet). And now it is the last day before I go
back to school after half term. And work on GCSE's and stuff. Yawn. And then I had so much school work to do. I am so sorry and th next chapter
will definatly be up before Christmas. And no response to reviewers first of all because I couldn't see the reviews to repond to, and also
because it was a vote ^_^
By the way, if anyone's bored I have a story on fictionpress (true stories) about me making cookies...Maybe I should stop offering people who
review cookies...It's called Cooking COokie Disaters...or is it Cookie Cooking Disasters....
Anyway please review. They motivate me. Oh and yeah, the reason both Jon and Wyldon got the cookbook is because the vote was a tie. And it made
it more interesting.
-Charli ^_^