I Don't Give A Damn

Chapter 5



Author's Note: There is some Sora-bashing in this chapter. Sorry to any Sora fans and to any Sora/Matt fans but I'm a DIEHARD TAITO FAN!! *Waves little Taito support flags while chanting "Go Taito!"* Now on to Chapter 5!



Matt stood stiff as a board as his ex-girlfriend hugged him around the middle telling him how she wanted him back. Tai was quick to take action, his shoulders shaking with rage he grabbed Sora's shoulders pulling her away from HIS Matt. (It was only later when the rage boiled down that he realized he'd called him His Matt. ^_^) He stepped in front of Matt blocking him from IT's view.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Tai nearly whispered his eyes mere slivers as he glared at IT.

"What do you mean? He was my boyfriend and if I'd known how much he cared about me I wouldn't have dumped him." She retorted as if this was commonly known fact. Tai had to work very hard at not using his fists to pound her face into a commonly known pulp.

"Get. Out." He hissed venom in every word.

"I don't think this is any of your business. He was My boyfriend and I think he has the right to make his own decision." She said determined.

At this Tai could take no more. He opened up the door as fast as he could and shoved her, rather forcefully, out. Before she could turn and get back inside he had slammed the door and there was a satisfying crunch as if it had hit something quite solid. He nearly smiled at that before he turned to see Matt white as a ghost seemingly in shock.

Tai walked over and pulled Matt into a comforting embrace though Matt remained very tense.

"Matt, I am so sorry. I'll pound her to a bloody pulp if you want?" He said trying to lighten the mood.

"I...I...I just don't know how to react to it. I never expected that. It's like some twisted nightmare that would be scarier if you could make more sense of it. I feel like I'm just waking up." He said struggling for words to explain how he felt, before saying quietly, "It hurts too."

"We can talk you know. About everything. Share in our miseries. Put it all on the table, if you want to?" He said changing it into a question.

"You think...You think you could just listen?" He asked feeling ashamed and selfish for asking.

"Sure. Where do you want me?" He said giving an encouraging smile to lessen the discomfort plastered across Matt's face.

After several minutes it was decided that they would sit across from each other at the small table beside the kitchen.

Matt started with how happy he'd been before his parent's had divorced. How he'd missed his little brother T.K. and his mom when he was living with his dad. How his dad was never there and how he'd never felt he'd really had any parents. He'd grown up feeling alone even when he'd made some friends at summer camp, when he'd met Tai and his small group of friends he'd come to hang out with. Then how they'd kept in contact after summer but he still felt like they would leave him at any moment. How they didn't really need him and he was just extra baggage. Then he'd become closer to Sora and they developed into more than friends. How she'd acted like she understood what he was going through and could help him but she never really had.

Finally he ended with how she'd dumped him admitting that she just didn't understand him and that he had too many problems that she couldn't deal with. How she had decided that it was over almost suddenly and then how he'd come home and the pills he'd taken.

"You know the rest." He finally ended almost two hours later. His face was stained with tears and he had a sad smile on his face. Tai's face was nearly a mirror of his own. He had a small trail of dried tears and his smile was a sad one though their was a certain joy at finally having Matt let him into his life fully.

"Thank you, Matt." Tai said sincerely, "Did that help at all?"

"Yeah, it did. I'm so glad you've been here for me. I've never been so close to anyone, not really." He added the last part thinking of Sora. His thoughts drifted to how he wished he could be closer and he suddenly had a hint of pink to his cheeks and couldn't look Tai directly in the eyes.

"You okay?" Tai asked as Matt's eyes continued to avoid his and his cheeks looked flushed.

"Erm...Yeah. It's just a little warm in here. I'll just get some water." Matt said quickly darting into the safety of the kitchen away from Tai's questioning eyes. Tai pondered this strange display wondering if it was some memory of Sora. Or of us? No, that couldn't be it. We're both STRAIGHT. Damn. Why does he have to be so beautiful? Tai gave a groan of defeat just as Matt re-entered the room, his blush fully gone. He shot a questioning look at Tai who was now the one blushing at being caught thinking about Matt.

"So, Matt...What next?"

"I don't know. I don't feel as depressed anymore. Or as alone. And yet I'm farther from what I've wanted than ever before. Why does Tai have to be straight? Why can't I be straight? I don't know anything anymore. I may feel better but I feel so lost." He said with a sigh. Feeling a hint of depression at how much more he liked Tai everyday, as more than a friend.

"What do you mean?"

"Everything seemed so simple before. So straight forward. Now? Now I'm not so sure of what I want or what to do with my life."

"Well just so you know. I'll be with you every step of the way!" Tai said with his normal exuberant smile. Matt smiled back cheered by his friend's enthusiasm.

"How about we watch a movie?" Tai continued.

"Sure. I'll make some popcorn while you choose the movie." Matt said disappearing into the kitchen.

Tai studied the limited selection going through each in his mind. Hmmmm...The Matrix? Nah seen it too many times. Lion King?? What's that doing there? Nevermind. The Whole Nine Yards? I like it! But...there's romance...no need to remind Matt of what he's lost....even if IT was a slimy b**** wh***. Calm Down Tai. Okaaaaaaayy....then what? What has almost no romance? Tai craned his brain for awhile before finally picking Armageddon. Nothing like the world nearly being destroyed to make your problems seem not so big.

Matt walked back into the living room to find Armageddon playing across the tv screen. He plopped down onto the couch next to Tai grabbing a handful of popcorn before passing over the bowl.

After around an hour of the movie Matt was feeling his eyelids beginning to droop after all that had happened that day he felt emotionally exhausted. Tai wasn't really paying attention to the movie he was lost in thought about all Matt had shared and about his own torrent of emotions revolving around his best friend. In fact he was so lost in thought that he forgot that Matt or the movie were even there until Matt's head slipped from the couch onto his shoulder.

Tai nearly jumped at the sudden contact though Matt was fast asleep. He remained tense for several minutes until he slowly turned towards his best friend and couldn't help but be warmed by how beautiful he looked sleeping peacefully. Like a sleeping angel...ack...can't be thinking that...I'm not...Matt couldn't like me like that anyway. Tai sighed in defeat, his shoulders slumping forward, as he finally gave in to the thought that he might like Matt as more than a friend but that Matt could never return his feelings.

Matt stirred his eyes fluttering open and they both became extremely aware of how close they were. Matt stiffened and sat up quickly muttering apologies while trying to hide the shade of pink his cheeks were turning.

"Ummm...I'm going to get to bed, kinda tired." Matt said sitting up and walking into his borrowed bedroom.

"Night." Tai called after him.

"Good Night." A muffled reply sounded through the door.

Tai sat thinking on the night's events before realizing Matt's mother's and brother's absence throughout the day. He wandered to the phone and found a number scrawled on it and a note saying: At hospital to finalize fees and to pick up your dad. Be back late.

Well that does explain some things. I'm surprised I hadn't noticed earlier...no wait I'm not. Tai thought. With that thought he walked over to Matt's room and slipped inside.

Matt was sleeping but it looked unrestful, his eyes darting around beneath his lids and his face was in a slight frown. Tai sat down on the edge of the bed and brushed back his hair with his hand. The soothing feel of Tai's hand soon lured Matt into a calm sleep. Tai soon followed but before that he lay down behind Matt. He gave a sad longing look and wrapped his arms around Matt wishing he could do that same when Matt was awake.

They both secretly dreamed of each other.



Author's Note: I'm sorry I took sooooo long to write this chapter but hopefully it's length will help make up for it. Hope you liked it and all suggestions and ideas are greatly appreciated. Also disclaimer for chapter three (oops..I know it's a little late.) The song lyrics from the radio are from "Red Light Fever" by Liz Phair. I wrote the very end of this chapter to the song "Fallen" by Sarah Mclachlan. I highly recommend it. Please R/R even if when you review you just say "I read your fanfic." I would really appreciate it. If you've read it then please review. It helps let me know how many people took the time. Thanks to all who have!