Chapter 2 – The Teardrop Squeals
Lunchtime, 24th December 2198
The turkey was in the freezer, the gifts were under the tree and the wreath was on the door. All the pieces were falling into place and the long-awaited Tenkawa Christmas party was a go. (Incidentally they'd gone for just Tenkawa after realising that the only fair alternative was 'the Tenkawa/Misumaru/Hoshino Christmas party' – far too much of a mouthful.)
The guest list was stocked with some golden company. Of course, Minato and Yukina had been the first to be invited, being close family friends. Mikoto, Ruri's friend from her orphanage days, had also been granted special permission to spend Christmas with them, and was very grateful for the opportunity. Ryoko Subaru would be coming up on the day, having nowhere else to go after both her parents decided they'd be working the Christmas shift. Finally, the newly engaged couple of Jun Aoi and Megumi Reinard were driving up and were set to arrive this evening. So many guests had created a real accommodation nightmare until Akito had come up with the idea of bunging all the kids in sleeping bags on the floor of the restaurant. Then Minato would commandeer Ruri's room, and the betrothed couple would stay on the sofa-bed in the living room. A brilliant solution really. Except for the kids of course.
Everyone was excited, with much cause. Not only was it the first Christmas of the new era of peace between Earth and Jupiter, but it was the first 'family' Christmas for all four children, plus it was Yukina's first one period. All this made this twenty-fifth of December an extra special day and one that deserved all the celebration they were preparing for it. Yes, this Christmas would be magnificent, a real Christmas among Christmases and was destined to become a day forever etched in their fond memories.
That was tomorrow though. Today was just the warm-up. Christmas Eve is the most unbearably exciting afternoon of the year, but a fun morning in the snow, followed by copious bacon sarnies can make the wait a little bit easier to deal with.
* * *
"Oh, you're back!" Yurika said brightly from the kitchen. "Just in time as well! Who wants bacon-butties?"
"Me!" Hari, Ruri and Akito announced as one, as they shed their sopping wet outdoor layers into a damp pile on the hallway floor. Warm food sounded very tempting after their capers in the snow and not even Yurika, with her limited culinary skills, could mess up a bacon sandwiches.
Hari shook off his last sleeve, then hung his coat up before following Akito and Ruri into the kitchen. Welcome warmth touched his face as soon as he stepped in and his frozen cheeks stung pleasantly as they began the thawing process. He saw Ruri's mother attending the grill with her back to them and the lovely smell of the cooking bacon moistened his mouth. The only other occupant of the room, Miss Minato, smiled at them from over her cup of hot cocoa as they entered.
"Goodness, you all look like you've been to war!"
"We have!" Akito assured her, placing an arm about each child. "And believe me, fighting grasshoppers is nothing compared to those two!"
"Hee-hee!" Yurika produced her shrill laugh. "Have you been bullying your father Ruri?"
"He started it," Ruri murmured, totally deadpan. The two women just chuckled at that.
Hari blew on his hands and rubbed them together, trying to get some heat back into them. Then he saw a free space over by the radiator and immediately dashed over to press his back against it. Ruri followed at a more dignified pace to lean beside him. Yurika beamed at them as she turned over the bacon.
"These are just about done kids! Could you set the table for me, Ruri?"
"Yes Mother," Ruri went to obey her. Hari followed her, but she immediately dismissed his help with a small hand-gesture. It was a one person job.
"Oh, and Hari, could you tell the other kids that lunch is ready?" Yurika asked.
"Oh I'll get them!" Minato said, noticing the boy's reluctance to part with the heater. "Let him stay and warm up!" She upped and left the room, surprising Hari by ruffling his hair fondly as she walked past him.
"Here we are!" Yurika placed a large platter of bacon sandwiches on the table. "Come on and dig in! They'll warm you up for certain!"
"Thank you, Miss Misumaru," Hari took a sandwich, attacked it with ketchup and tucked in eagerly. His ravenous cramming was far less elegant than Ruri's delicate little bites, especially when he got a mouthful stuck in his throat and began to choke.
Ruri absently thumped him on the back. "That's what you get for rushing your food," she reprimanded him.
Hari coughed a few more times then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Hey Ruri, about what you said earlier…"
"What? What did I say?"
"You remember, we were talking about what Christmas means to us. You never took your turn."
"No I didn't," she said, shaking her head. "And I don't intend to yet. I think you should work it out for yourself." A little mischief touched those flawless golden eyes. "Think on it, and let me know what you come up with."
"What? Hey, that's not fair!" Hari blurted.
"I agree, who would have thought that sweet and innocent Ruri would end up being such a tease?"
Both children jolted at that and whirled around to confront Yukina, beaming mockingly at them. Mikoto stood a step behind her, wearing the exact same grin.
"Oh hi you two," he said. "How are you doing?"
"Just peachy thanks! By the way Ruri, there's something I wanted to ask you in private." Before Ruri could react, Yukina had dragged her insistently to the other end of the table, leaving Hari at Mikoto's clutches. She bounded up to him cheerfully and shoved her girlish smile uncomfortably close to his face.
"So Hari, my dear! How are you this afternoon?"
"Erm, I'm fine Mikoto," he replied, uneasily leaning back so that her warm breath wasn't on his face so much.
"Glad to hear it. I'm great too of course!" she laughed. "You know, I was just thinking that you've spent an awful lot of time outside. Maybe you should stay indoors with us and chill out a bit this afternoon. It'll be fun! We got up to level 99 in Guardians of Orion, but we can't defeat the final boss. But with your skill I bet you could do it with your eyes closed! So how about it, huh?" She leaned in closer again.
"Er, maybe," he mumbled, leaning further back. "I'll see what Ruri's doing."
Mikoto's face fell instantly. "Oh don't be like that Hari! You don't have to follow her everywhere. You're not Siamese twins you know!"
"Yeah, but she's my friend," Hari murmured pathetically.
"Yeah, so? She's my friend too! Honestly, you two are as bad as each other!" she huffed, overdramatically ramming her fists into her hips.
"Well, she may want to go outside again. I wouldn't want her to go all by herself."
"Ruri this, Ruri that. All anyone ever thinks about is Ruri," Mikoto sighed, glaring over at the girl in question. It was competitive to the bone, but Hari didn't know enough about women to interpret it that way. Instead he chuckled nervously then very deliberately turned back to Ruri, who was obliviously thumbing through some envelopes.
"Are these today's Christmas cards?" she asked her mother.
"Oh yes," Yurika replied. "We got a good haul today!"
Ruri flicked through them quickly, chucking one after the other into a discard pile. "I don't know any of these people," she said, almost as a complaint.
"You wouldn't, they're all friends from my student days," Yurika informed her. "Try some of the unopened ones at the bottom of the pile, maybe you'll have more luck."
Ruri obliged. "Oh yes. Goodness, there are loads of them. Will you help me with them Hari?"
"Oh sure," Hari took the nearest one and opened it. He slipped the card out, took a quick look at the Christmas tree on the front and then opened it to read the contents. To his surprise, the sender sounded familiar. Yes, he'd definitely heard the name before, but he couldn't put a face to it.
"Hey I recognise this name!" he announced triumphantly.
"Who is it?" Ruri asked.
"Erina Won. Yeah, it's definitely familiar."
Ruri cast him a startled look. "Really? Erina? Let me see." She took the card from him and stared at it in disbelief.
"Erina?" Akito echoed in surprise, looking down at the card over Ruri's shoulder. "Hmm, I'm surprised we got one from her."
"I am as well," Ruri murmured, examining it cautiously as if it might be booby-trapped. "After everything that's happened between us."
"Yeah," agreed Yurika, coming over to look as well. "I mean we already got the Nergal Christmas card, so it's surprising she sent us a separate one. But still, it was very nice of her!" She looked up as her husband. "Did we send one to her Akito?"
Akito tipped his head back as he racked his memory. "No, I don't think we did,"
"Oh dear, now I feel bad!" Yurika sighed. "Oh well, we'll include her when we send out our New Years letter!"
"Erina Won," Hari murmured, looking to the ceiling as he tried to recall her. "Didn't I talk to her at the reunion bash?"
"Yes," Ruri nodded. "You discussed bosun-jumping at length with her,"
"She was the tall blonde one then?"
"No, that was Miss Fressange. Erina was the one with dark hair. If you recall she made a comment about us being long-lost siblings," she added grudgingly.
"Oh her!" Hari cried. "Yeah I remember now! That Nergal secretary person!"
"Yes, that is the one."
"She was on the Nadesico with you, right?"
"Yes."
"Of course. And she has a pretty bad rep with you lot doesn't she?"
"Indeed," Ruri nodded. "During the war, she withheld vital information on the true nature of our enemy and assisted Akatsuki with his traitorous schemes. Not to mention the fact she wanted to endanger Akito's life for the mere purpose of heightening her status in Nergal."
"Really? All that?" Hari shrugged. "She didn't seem that bad when I met her."
"She is not purely evil," Ruri admitted. "She knows what righteousness is, but her own selfish streak prevents her from acting in its best interests. It is a pity, but it is a weakness she has and one that Akatsuki exploits to full effect."
"I see. That's a shame," Hari said, taking the card back again and rereading the contents. The card contained a generic Christmas message, around which Erina had written, 'To Akito, Yurika and Ruri' and 'from Erina'. Simple, effective and to the point. However, on closer inspection he noticed that the 'om' of the 'from' had been smeared into a blurry star-shaped pattern. He was about to dismiss it as a smear, when his logical mind noticed the way it was branching off in all directions, rather than just one. It was as if a drop of water had landed on the ink before it could dry spreading it every which way to create this little mess. He considered this, simultaneously wondering why he was concerned with something so trivial.
"Maybe a raindrop? Nah, not likely. She would have had to been writing this outside, or next to an open window for that to happen. Hmm, I wonder. Could it be…a teardrop, maybe?"
That was a disturbing theory. A compassionate boy like him couldn't let the idea go easily. It ate at him so much that he showed it to Ruri and asked her opinion of it. She took it from him and studied it curiously.
"It's not a hand-smudge and I doubt it's from spilled water as only a single point is blemished," she replied with notable speed. "I believe it was caused by a single, small drop of water."
"Then you agree with me," said Hari. "It was caused by a teardrop? She was crying when she wrote this?"
"Possibly," Ruri said. "But it is impossible to say for certain. You shouldn't let your imagination run away with you."
"Why would she be crying?" Hari wondered out loud.
"I don't know. On the grounds that her career with Nergal is the most important thing in her life, I'd imagine it's something to do with that, if anything. We shouldn't dwell on it,"
"You reckon? You don't think it could be something else?"
Ruri gave him an exasperated smile. "How many questions do you want to ask? I'm not an expert on Erina Won you know."
"Ah, sorry."
A pause fell between them and Ruri returned to sorting through the cards. But it wasn't long before Hari spoke again.
"Ruri, what if it's not so simple? What if it's something other than her job that's making her sad?" He ran a finger along his chin, his mouth sagging uneasily. "I was thinking…what if she's crying because she's lonely?"
Ruri tilted her head to consider this. "It is certainly a possibility," she admitted. "I can't think of any friends she has, unless you count Akatsuki, which we probably can't if we're honest." She gave a little sigh of pity. "She's very selfish by nature and not very well-adapted to be around other people."
"Still, it must be tough being alone for Christmas."
Ruri agreed with a little nod. "No-one deserves to be alone at this time of year."
Silence followed, in which several little thoughts nibbled at Hari's conscience. He turned on his chair and stared out of the window into the snowy world outside, chewing his mouthful slowly as he considered Erina's possible plight.
"Alone. All alone. At a time when everyone else is getting together to be happy. That's got to be hard for her."
He knew that from experience. Before this one, he'd never had a proper Christmas with family or friends. It was always harder to share the spirit of the season, when there weren't others celebrating it with you. Other people were what made Christmas what is was.
"Damn it! Why do people have to be unhappy at this time of year? It's not right, everyone should enjoy Christmas!"
"Hari?" It was only when Ruri said his name that he noticed he'd been scowling into space for several seconds. He started, then grinned at her sheepishly to try and cover his tracks.
"You seem distracted. Is something on your mind?" There was real concern in her voice.
"Well," Hari hesitated, mentally um-ing and ah-ing whether he should tell her or not. In the end he went for it. If he couldn't tell his closest friend, then who could he tell?
"It's just…Ruri, I think we should do something to help her!" he blurted out.
"You mean Erina?" Ruri leaned her elbows on the table and faced him with her head in her hands, and an amused smile on her lips. It was almost as if she had seen this outburst coming. "What do you propose?"
"Well, I was thinking maybe…..no," Hari shook his head, suddenly regretting his spontaneity. "No, maybe not, don't worry about it."
"You were thinking of inviting her here?" Ruri ventured, hitting the target dead on.
"I guess so," Hari replied awkwardly. "But that's beyond my station really, as a guest."
"But it's not beyond mine," Ruri asserted.
"Huh?"
"I think it's a wonderful idea," Ruri said, beaming at him. "For it is up to the privileged ones to help the needy, especially at this time of year. We have more than enough room for another person."
"But Ruri, you don't even like her," Hari reminded her quietly. "I remember you telling me how she was one of three people on the Nadesico who you didn't like."
"True. But maybe an act of kindness will release the person behind the monster," Ruri said. "After all that was certainly true in my case," she added, casting a fond glance over to her parents conversing on the other side of the table.
"Well, it certainly is the season for this kind of thing, I guess," Hari said, absently scratching his cheek.
"Precisely."
"Then it's settled. Great!" said Hari, pushing his chair back as he stood up. "Let's go!"
Ruri blinked twice in quick confusion. "Huh? Go where?"
"To fetch her of course!" said Hari, eyes widening. "You said you wanted to invite her, didn't you?"
"We're fetching her in person?" Ruri asked, suddenly uneasy. She seemed daunted by the prospect.
"Sure we are!" He abruptly pushed his chair back and stood. "Come on, let's go!" he said, gesturing her up.
"O..okay," Ruri stammered. She rose slowly, seemingly overwhelmed by this burst of enthusiasm.
"Thanks for lunch, Miss Misumaru!" Hari called out as they raced out the kitchen door, his face flushed with excitement while Ruri's was contorted with fond exasperation. In an eye-blink they were gone, leaving only the swinging door behind them.
"Oh, you're….welcome," Yurika trailed off, finding herself talking to their wake.
Everyone stared at the door through which the two prodigies had just vanished, bemused at their sudden exit. "What do they have to do in such a hurry?" Akito wondered aloud.
Minato grinned slyly. "Something naughty I'll bet!"
* * *
Tick, tock, tick, tock
How could blank seconds be so painful? The sounds of the clock reminded her of how pointless and empty her life was, how she drifted along through time, never touching anyone's lives in any way that wasn't to do with her profession. Another deadly rush of self-loathing rose up in her. She took up her blade, gripping the handle until her fingers were bloodless then rammed the blade down hard into her desk, channelling all those negative emotions into a single solid strike. That served to release the surge of anguished fury, calming it into the numbing depression she was more accustomed to. Breathing madly, she gradually released her grip on the knife, leaving it stuck upright in the wood. She wondered how many more times she would have spells like these before she could finally succumb to the perverse yearning within her.
Still trembling from the sudden outburst, she rose and crossed the room to the kitchen to make herself a sandwich and a cup of tea. Busying herself with simple tasks like this was a way of giving herself a 'break' from the pain. She'd used the method several times over the last year and it was a sure-fire short-term solution to her depression. Unfortunately she had never found such a simple answer for the longer-term problem.
As she came back into the living room, sandwich in one hand, steaming mug in the other, she unwittingly looked over to her Christmas card collection (if it could really be called that) on the windowsill. More anguish flowed through her at the sight of it. She'd only actually received one card and mockingly it was the Nergal one which everyone in the company, from the chairman himself down to the lowly janitors, would have received. And it was sad to think that even those janitors would have received more cards than she had. Plus they'd have homes to go to and loving families to celebrate the festive season with, Erina thought bitterly. Sheesh, when had she become so pathetic that she envied the guy who scrubbed shit off loo-seats for a living?
She finished lunch quickly and returned her concentration to her suicide note. She'd long since decided she should have one, her professional need for completeness coming into play there. It was also a parting shot of sorts – she hoped that someone would read it and feel guilty about letting her life sink to such a depth. At first she'd thought it would be easy to write, but a few snags had cropped up to make it more difficult.
"Why am I bothering to write this? I mean, it's not like I have anyone to write it to. Chances are the police will be the only ones who see it,"
It was too true. Only a few would ever see it and even fewer would care that she was gone. Only Akatsuki would, but that would only be because of the loss of a skilled and trusted employee, not as a person or a friend. There was no way she would address it to him, for that would feel like she had lost to him, the one man who was both the greatest help and hindrance to those ultimate ambitions that had once ruled her life.
She would leave it general. She'd make it short and to the point – she was good at that. After all, she didn't have Izumi's aptitude for poetry. Hell, if she had, she'd have probably found mirth in her tragedy.
It took her twenty minutes to finish it, by which time the tears were flowing freely down her face. There was no doubt in her mind, her life had to end tonight. Barely ten hours remained now and the merciless clock was ticking ever onwards…
A/N – Ugh, I hate writing chapters with that much dialogue. Hope it was okay though. Chapter 3 shouldn't take so long to complete and will probably be up some time this weekend, if not before. See you then.