author's notes:
wow! thank you all so much for all your awesome reviews. i'm really sorry that i haven't been able to get a new chapter up before now, but i've been really busy. and i'm kind of not sure where i want the story to go yet, so i've been kind of stuck, but i hope you like this chapter even more than the last. i'm sorry if it doesn't appear to have a plot, i think i know what direction i want to take it now, so hopefully i can start developing that for you guys.
Lizzie woke up to the screeching of her younger brother, Matt McGuire. He was shouting. She checked her clock, eight in the morning. In the summer, that was much too early to be up, and too early to be waking everyone up with his preteen antics. Finally, she deciphered the words he was shouting, and responded to his calls of "Lizzie! Lizzie!"
"What?" Lizzie cried out, prolonging the word to a whole five seconds. Her voice sounded thick and different, the result of hours of sleep. She had went to bed exhausted last night, after a night of movies and talking at the Gordon's house with her best friend.
Matt marched into Lizzie's room, pushing open the door without knocking. Lizzie didn't protest, upon seeing the phone in Matt's outstretched hand. "Miranda's on the phone."
Lizzie squealed in excitement. "Mirandaaaa!" She screamed excitedly, grabbing the phone away from her annoying younger brother.
Miranda giggled. "Hey, Lizzie. I guess it's a safe bet to assume that you miss me a lot?"
"Oh, Miranda, you have no idea!" Lizzie paused as she thought about what she should tell Miranda. Would Miranda be angry about the Gordo incident? Lizzie decided to tell her, because she herself was feeling happy, confused, sad, angry, excited, frustrated, and nervous all at the same time.
"I can't talk long because it's long distance. What's going on with you?"
"Not much. I've been hanging out with Gordo a lot. We spent all day yesterday together."
Miranda smiled, unknown to Lizzie. She knew Gordo liked Lizzie, and it was kind of obvious that Lizzie reciprocated his feelings. "I'm glad you guys are hanging out and having fun. So..did anything different happen?" Before she left for Mexico, she'd had a private conversation with Gordo, in which he'd vowed to Miranda that he'd make a move for Lizzie before she had a summer fling with some boy who wouldn't even matter once eleventh grade came along. He'd finally admitted to Miranda his feelings for Lizzie, something he hadn't done ever before. Miranda was happy for them, hoping that Gordo would keep his promise and she'd come back to find her best friends as more than best friends.
"Yeah." Lizzie paused, wondering how Miranda knew. "We were sitting in the movie theater, laughing and watching the movie, when all of the sudden, he just reached out and held my hand. For the rest of the movie. You know what was even more weird about it? I felt something different from what I've ever felt before in my whole entire life for anyone else. I've never had that feeling that I had yesterday with Gordo with anybody else. None of my boyfriends have ever made me feel like that."
"Gordo's a really special guy, Lizzie." Miranda's smile grew bigger.
"I always knew he was special. I just never knew that he could be anything more to me then my best friend. It's like I just woke up and realized how cute and sweet and wonderful he is, and how absolutely perfect he is, and how he's everything I've ever wanted in a boyfriend but I've never really seen it." The thoughts in Lizzie's head were becoming so much clearer. If only she could communicate her thoughts to Gordo.
"Are you going to just sit here telling me that, or are you actually going to tell him that to his face?" Miranda asked Lizzie. "You know what, Lizzie, he's liked you for a really long time. He'd just about die if you told him what you just told me."
"Maybe I shouldn't tell him, I don't want him to have a heart attack," Lizzie said, giggling.
Miranda joined in, and the two friends laughter finally faded out. "Listen, Lizzie, good luck with Gordo and everything else, I really have to go now. I'll phone you again soon!"
Lizzie hung up the phone after saying a rushed goodbye to her best friend in Mexico. She thought about all the things Miranda had said, wanting never to forget them. Repeating the conversation in her mind, she laughed and she felt as if she was glowing from the inside out. He liked her! And finally, she knew where her feelings stood about him. Everything was going Lizzie's way, everything.
After showering, doing her hair, brushing her teeth, and getting dressed in a love-induced haze, Lizzie walked outside with no particular destination. She thought she was looking exceptionally good today. She had left her hair down and wavy, loose curls cascading over her shoulders. It was a warm day, so she was wearing a cute pair of blue jean shorts, her favorite white and light blue skate shoes with low white socks, and a white short sleeved t-shirt that she had gotten from a vintage store two weeks ago, with light blue writing on the front and back. She had accesorized simply, with small silver earrings and a silver necklace.
Lizzie couldn't keep the smile off her face. She was walking towards the Digital Bean not long after she had left her house, and she stood outside, contemplating her next move. She should have phoned Gordo this morning, but when she entered the doors to the Digital Bean, she knew she didn't have to.
Gordo was sitting by himself at a table near a wall. Lizzie smiled, and walked towards his table, though it actually felt more like she was floating. She approached him timidly, her confidence fading as he turned his head slowly to face her.
Lizzie didn't know what to say. "Hi, Gordo," she managed to say quietly.
Gordo examined Lizzie's features carefully. "Hi."
Lizzie sat down across from Gordo. She loved the way she now noticed his hair and how much she loved the way it curled and looked messy and disheveled but at the same time completely perfect and completely Gordo. Staring into his blue eyes, she couldn't understand why she'd never truly ever seen him in this light before.
Gordo coughed slightly, and Lizzie turned her eyes away from his face, blushing slightly. She looked back up seconds later, and Gordo wasn't smiling. His face was showing no emotion. Lizzie wondered what was wrong with him.
Gordo had woken up that same morning even before Lizzie had. He couldn't sleep the night after she left his house after that day they spent at the movie, the time he spent holding his best friend's hand. The sheer wonderfulness of the day overwhelmed him.
And then he contemplated in the morning. Should he phone Lizzie? Maybe he should go to her house to pick her up and ask her then if she wanted to do anything. Should he pretend like nothing happened between them yesterday and go on believing that they were just best friends and would never be anything more?
Gordo wanted them to be more than best friends more than anything.
He remembered his promise to Miranda, the promise that he'd made to take control of his feelings and come right out and make a move for Lizzie's heart. He'd started the process yesterday, with holding her hand and all, but Gordo knew he'd have to do more than that to win Lizzie's heart.
He was so nervous to see her, so nervous to talk to her. What if she just rejected him? What if Lizzie didn't know how to treat him, what if she decided that holding her best friend's hand was awkward and didn't want to change their relationship at all? So many scenarios crossed Gordo's mind, and he didn't know what to do about anything.
So he didn't do anything.
He'd simply gotten up and drove to the Digital Bean by himself. He wasn't going to sit around and wait for Lizzie to call, knowing that she wasn't the type. He didn't want to call her and be rejected.
And now she was here, when all he had wanted to do was avoid her for the day. She'd stared into his eyes and he'd gotten lost in her brown eyes as she looked into his eyes, searching for something Gordo didn't know about. She looked beautiful today, but then again, Lizzie usually looked gorgeous every day.
Lizzie had been so radiant when she walked in, and when she walked over to Gordo, something had changed. She seemed quieter, she seemed confused. Gordo wondered what was going on inside her head, but he'd never really known what his best friend was thinking about.
Now that she was here, Gordo decided he wanted to spend the rest of the day with her. He wanted to get to know Lizzie in ways that he'd never gotten to know her before, and he wanted to make his next move. He didn't want anybody else to get in the way. It would have killed Gordo for her to have some summer fling with a boy she didn't even really like. But then again, she didn't really like Gordo much in the way he wanted her to like her, either. Gordo decided to speak up.
Out of the blue, after uncomfortable moments of silence, Gordo finally spoke. "Do you want to go to the park with me today, maybe? We could go for a walk, feed the ducks, go wading, maybe sit and have a talk?" The tone of his voice was hopeful.
Lizzie smiled. "Yeah, sure. It's way too nice of a day to be hanging out inside."
Gordo smiled back, relieved. The two of them got up from the table and walked towards Gordo's car, a meter of space in between the two bodies as they walked through the parking lot under the hot sun.
Gordo drove to the big park, which was at least a half hour drive. Lizzie flipped through his CD case, hoping to find something she'd like, but finding nothing she'd ever really even heard of.
Watching Lizzie flip through his music collection, Gordo laughed. "You've never even heard of any of these bands, have you?"
Lizzie shook her head and giggled. "What do you want?"
Gordo smiled. What kind of question was that? Knowing she referred to the music, he racked his brain for something that might clue her in to what he was feeling. Removing his hand from the steering wheel quickly, he pointed to a CD. "That one. Track ten."
Lizzie inserted the CD into Gordo's CD player, turning the song to the tenth track. A slow, pretty song drifted through the speakers. Gordo smiled.
"Some things can never be explained why every sky still looks the same and I wonder how my world would look without you, some things can never be explained like how our scars remain the same and I wonder how the sky would look without my star, sleep seems a dream away and a year too late words that can't be spoken stream off my face, I want to be selfish you are my everything, some things can never be explained why does your love remain unchanged cause I know it wouldn't be the same without you, sleep seems a dream away and a year too late words that can't be spoken stream off your face please don't forget my name and take me with you when you leave, I've got a lot to lose I've got to let it go, please don't forget my name.."
Lizzie was taken aback by the choice of song. It was the way the lyrics pertained to the way she was feeling about Gordo. She couldn't imagine a world without her best friend, her David Gordon, her Gordo. She never wanted him to leave.
Lizzie smiled across the car at her best friend. Gordo could see her out of the corner of his eye, and he turned his head the opposite direction, still watching the road but smiling secretly so that she couldn't see him. The two of them drove mostly in silence to the park, but a comfortable silence that suggested that the pair were completely comfortable with each other this time.
After what seemed like a mere five minutes, Lizzie and Gordo reached the park. It had felt so short because Lizzie had been so caught up in the moments, the choice of music, the sheer act of being with Gordo in such close proximity and a confined space that she could smell him faintly, a smell she recognized.
Half an hour later, Gordo and Lizzie were outside walking around in the park, retaining the meter of space between the two of them. Gordo stopped at a large tree and sat down underneath it, exclaiming about his unusually high level of exhaustion. Lizzie, agreeing, sat down beside him.
The two sat in silence once again.
"Gordo?" Lizzie interrupted.
Gordo swallowed. "Yeah?"
"You seem different lately. I mean that in a good way, but something about you's different." Lizzie fiddled with her fingers, looking down nervously, obviously avoiding Gordo's eyes.
Gordo breathed in deeply and didn't say anything.
"I mean, if you don't want to tell me, that's alright. I just figured, maybe, since you're my best friend and all, that you might want someone to share it with, but you don't have to." Lizzie continued looking down at her hands.
"I, uh. I, well..I," Gordo said, fishing for the words he needed to say to get his point across to his best friend. "I think I fell in love with this amazing, wonderful, beautiful, sweet girl. She's perfect in every way."
Lizzie's heart came crashing down to the ground.
wow! thank you all so much for all your awesome reviews. i'm really sorry that i haven't been able to get a new chapter up before now, but i've been really busy. and i'm kind of not sure where i want the story to go yet, so i've been kind of stuck, but i hope you like this chapter even more than the last. i'm sorry if it doesn't appear to have a plot, i think i know what direction i want to take it now, so hopefully i can start developing that for you guys.
Lizzie woke up to the screeching of her younger brother, Matt McGuire. He was shouting. She checked her clock, eight in the morning. In the summer, that was much too early to be up, and too early to be waking everyone up with his preteen antics. Finally, she deciphered the words he was shouting, and responded to his calls of "Lizzie! Lizzie!"
"What?" Lizzie cried out, prolonging the word to a whole five seconds. Her voice sounded thick and different, the result of hours of sleep. She had went to bed exhausted last night, after a night of movies and talking at the Gordon's house with her best friend.
Matt marched into Lizzie's room, pushing open the door without knocking. Lizzie didn't protest, upon seeing the phone in Matt's outstretched hand. "Miranda's on the phone."
Lizzie squealed in excitement. "Mirandaaaa!" She screamed excitedly, grabbing the phone away from her annoying younger brother.
Miranda giggled. "Hey, Lizzie. I guess it's a safe bet to assume that you miss me a lot?"
"Oh, Miranda, you have no idea!" Lizzie paused as she thought about what she should tell Miranda. Would Miranda be angry about the Gordo incident? Lizzie decided to tell her, because she herself was feeling happy, confused, sad, angry, excited, frustrated, and nervous all at the same time.
"I can't talk long because it's long distance. What's going on with you?"
"Not much. I've been hanging out with Gordo a lot. We spent all day yesterday together."
Miranda smiled, unknown to Lizzie. She knew Gordo liked Lizzie, and it was kind of obvious that Lizzie reciprocated his feelings. "I'm glad you guys are hanging out and having fun. So..did anything different happen?" Before she left for Mexico, she'd had a private conversation with Gordo, in which he'd vowed to Miranda that he'd make a move for Lizzie before she had a summer fling with some boy who wouldn't even matter once eleventh grade came along. He'd finally admitted to Miranda his feelings for Lizzie, something he hadn't done ever before. Miranda was happy for them, hoping that Gordo would keep his promise and she'd come back to find her best friends as more than best friends.
"Yeah." Lizzie paused, wondering how Miranda knew. "We were sitting in the movie theater, laughing and watching the movie, when all of the sudden, he just reached out and held my hand. For the rest of the movie. You know what was even more weird about it? I felt something different from what I've ever felt before in my whole entire life for anyone else. I've never had that feeling that I had yesterday with Gordo with anybody else. None of my boyfriends have ever made me feel like that."
"Gordo's a really special guy, Lizzie." Miranda's smile grew bigger.
"I always knew he was special. I just never knew that he could be anything more to me then my best friend. It's like I just woke up and realized how cute and sweet and wonderful he is, and how absolutely perfect he is, and how he's everything I've ever wanted in a boyfriend but I've never really seen it." The thoughts in Lizzie's head were becoming so much clearer. If only she could communicate her thoughts to Gordo.
"Are you going to just sit here telling me that, or are you actually going to tell him that to his face?" Miranda asked Lizzie. "You know what, Lizzie, he's liked you for a really long time. He'd just about die if you told him what you just told me."
"Maybe I shouldn't tell him, I don't want him to have a heart attack," Lizzie said, giggling.
Miranda joined in, and the two friends laughter finally faded out. "Listen, Lizzie, good luck with Gordo and everything else, I really have to go now. I'll phone you again soon!"
Lizzie hung up the phone after saying a rushed goodbye to her best friend in Mexico. She thought about all the things Miranda had said, wanting never to forget them. Repeating the conversation in her mind, she laughed and she felt as if she was glowing from the inside out. He liked her! And finally, she knew where her feelings stood about him. Everything was going Lizzie's way, everything.
After showering, doing her hair, brushing her teeth, and getting dressed in a love-induced haze, Lizzie walked outside with no particular destination. She thought she was looking exceptionally good today. She had left her hair down and wavy, loose curls cascading over her shoulders. It was a warm day, so she was wearing a cute pair of blue jean shorts, her favorite white and light blue skate shoes with low white socks, and a white short sleeved t-shirt that she had gotten from a vintage store two weeks ago, with light blue writing on the front and back. She had accesorized simply, with small silver earrings and a silver necklace.
Lizzie couldn't keep the smile off her face. She was walking towards the Digital Bean not long after she had left her house, and she stood outside, contemplating her next move. She should have phoned Gordo this morning, but when she entered the doors to the Digital Bean, she knew she didn't have to.
Gordo was sitting by himself at a table near a wall. Lizzie smiled, and walked towards his table, though it actually felt more like she was floating. She approached him timidly, her confidence fading as he turned his head slowly to face her.
Lizzie didn't know what to say. "Hi, Gordo," she managed to say quietly.
Gordo examined Lizzie's features carefully. "Hi."
Lizzie sat down across from Gordo. She loved the way she now noticed his hair and how much she loved the way it curled and looked messy and disheveled but at the same time completely perfect and completely Gordo. Staring into his blue eyes, she couldn't understand why she'd never truly ever seen him in this light before.
Gordo coughed slightly, and Lizzie turned her eyes away from his face, blushing slightly. She looked back up seconds later, and Gordo wasn't smiling. His face was showing no emotion. Lizzie wondered what was wrong with him.
Gordo had woken up that same morning even before Lizzie had. He couldn't sleep the night after she left his house after that day they spent at the movie, the time he spent holding his best friend's hand. The sheer wonderfulness of the day overwhelmed him.
And then he contemplated in the morning. Should he phone Lizzie? Maybe he should go to her house to pick her up and ask her then if she wanted to do anything. Should he pretend like nothing happened between them yesterday and go on believing that they were just best friends and would never be anything more?
Gordo wanted them to be more than best friends more than anything.
He remembered his promise to Miranda, the promise that he'd made to take control of his feelings and come right out and make a move for Lizzie's heart. He'd started the process yesterday, with holding her hand and all, but Gordo knew he'd have to do more than that to win Lizzie's heart.
He was so nervous to see her, so nervous to talk to her. What if she just rejected him? What if Lizzie didn't know how to treat him, what if she decided that holding her best friend's hand was awkward and didn't want to change their relationship at all? So many scenarios crossed Gordo's mind, and he didn't know what to do about anything.
So he didn't do anything.
He'd simply gotten up and drove to the Digital Bean by himself. He wasn't going to sit around and wait for Lizzie to call, knowing that she wasn't the type. He didn't want to call her and be rejected.
And now she was here, when all he had wanted to do was avoid her for the day. She'd stared into his eyes and he'd gotten lost in her brown eyes as she looked into his eyes, searching for something Gordo didn't know about. She looked beautiful today, but then again, Lizzie usually looked gorgeous every day.
Lizzie had been so radiant when she walked in, and when she walked over to Gordo, something had changed. She seemed quieter, she seemed confused. Gordo wondered what was going on inside her head, but he'd never really known what his best friend was thinking about.
Now that she was here, Gordo decided he wanted to spend the rest of the day with her. He wanted to get to know Lizzie in ways that he'd never gotten to know her before, and he wanted to make his next move. He didn't want anybody else to get in the way. It would have killed Gordo for her to have some summer fling with a boy she didn't even really like. But then again, she didn't really like Gordo much in the way he wanted her to like her, either. Gordo decided to speak up.
Out of the blue, after uncomfortable moments of silence, Gordo finally spoke. "Do you want to go to the park with me today, maybe? We could go for a walk, feed the ducks, go wading, maybe sit and have a talk?" The tone of his voice was hopeful.
Lizzie smiled. "Yeah, sure. It's way too nice of a day to be hanging out inside."
Gordo smiled back, relieved. The two of them got up from the table and walked towards Gordo's car, a meter of space in between the two bodies as they walked through the parking lot under the hot sun.
Gordo drove to the big park, which was at least a half hour drive. Lizzie flipped through his CD case, hoping to find something she'd like, but finding nothing she'd ever really even heard of.
Watching Lizzie flip through his music collection, Gordo laughed. "You've never even heard of any of these bands, have you?"
Lizzie shook her head and giggled. "What do you want?"
Gordo smiled. What kind of question was that? Knowing she referred to the music, he racked his brain for something that might clue her in to what he was feeling. Removing his hand from the steering wheel quickly, he pointed to a CD. "That one. Track ten."
Lizzie inserted the CD into Gordo's CD player, turning the song to the tenth track. A slow, pretty song drifted through the speakers. Gordo smiled.
"Some things can never be explained why every sky still looks the same and I wonder how my world would look without you, some things can never be explained like how our scars remain the same and I wonder how the sky would look without my star, sleep seems a dream away and a year too late words that can't be spoken stream off my face, I want to be selfish you are my everything, some things can never be explained why does your love remain unchanged cause I know it wouldn't be the same without you, sleep seems a dream away and a year too late words that can't be spoken stream off your face please don't forget my name and take me with you when you leave, I've got a lot to lose I've got to let it go, please don't forget my name.."
Lizzie was taken aback by the choice of song. It was the way the lyrics pertained to the way she was feeling about Gordo. She couldn't imagine a world without her best friend, her David Gordon, her Gordo. She never wanted him to leave.
Lizzie smiled across the car at her best friend. Gordo could see her out of the corner of his eye, and he turned his head the opposite direction, still watching the road but smiling secretly so that she couldn't see him. The two of them drove mostly in silence to the park, but a comfortable silence that suggested that the pair were completely comfortable with each other this time.
After what seemed like a mere five minutes, Lizzie and Gordo reached the park. It had felt so short because Lizzie had been so caught up in the moments, the choice of music, the sheer act of being with Gordo in such close proximity and a confined space that she could smell him faintly, a smell she recognized.
Half an hour later, Gordo and Lizzie were outside walking around in the park, retaining the meter of space between the two of them. Gordo stopped at a large tree and sat down underneath it, exclaiming about his unusually high level of exhaustion. Lizzie, agreeing, sat down beside him.
The two sat in silence once again.
"Gordo?" Lizzie interrupted.
Gordo swallowed. "Yeah?"
"You seem different lately. I mean that in a good way, but something about you's different." Lizzie fiddled with her fingers, looking down nervously, obviously avoiding Gordo's eyes.
Gordo breathed in deeply and didn't say anything.
"I mean, if you don't want to tell me, that's alright. I just figured, maybe, since you're my best friend and all, that you might want someone to share it with, but you don't have to." Lizzie continued looking down at her hands.
"I, uh. I, well..I," Gordo said, fishing for the words he needed to say to get his point across to his best friend. "I think I fell in love with this amazing, wonderful, beautiful, sweet girl. She's perfect in every way."
Lizzie's heart came crashing down to the ground.