Chapter 3 of "Steel Magnolia's Guide to Coping with Mutation"
Authors note: This chapter starts out as a diary entry and slips into 3rd person. Lovely things occur in this lovely chapter, in which Rogue and her two pals prepare for the dance club, they sneak out after a close call, and Remy and Logan both get bit by the angry jealousy bug as club-owner flirts with our southern darling. Will have a few song mentions here and. Oh, and I mentioned Buffy in this one.
Diary entry two: Preparing for the club.
I have been having many, many fantasies about going to "The Dig" with Remy. Most of them are of us dancing to a slow Cibo Matto song in manner of Buffy and Xander in an extremely close proximity to one another. That would be divine...
The sneak-out is minutes away, but I have to divulge the details of the events leading up to this very moment.
Two hours ago, Kitty and Jubilee were helping me prepare for what they called "an old-fashioned date with chaperones and everything". When they were tearing up my wardrobe with the pure drive of a pack of evil satanic lionesses in heat, it occurred to me that nothing seemed appropriate to wear in front of Remy, or inappropriate, rather.
I never had this problem with Bobby before. I think it's because even when we were going out, I always felt like he was more of a safe friend, and I really needn't have bothered with trying to impress him. I think with Remy it's more of really needing to make him look at me, I mean really look at me.
Somewhere in my wardrobe laid a pair of black fishnet stockings, which I think was left over from when John had convinced a group of us to dress as characters from "Rocky Horror Picture Show" a year back. I miss John. I have this recurring image of him crashing the school choir concert with his rendition of "Let's Talk Dirty to the Animals" originally sung by Gilda Radner, the funniest woman who ever breathed. I wonder what he's up to right now? Does he sing that song for Magneto? I highly doubt that HE would think it was funny, maybe Mystique would, I'm not sure.
Anyway, the fishnets were selected as the first part of my ensemble. Thus followed by a pair of boots that Jubilee stole from the uniform room after learning how to infiltrate its tight security. She has been working on breaking into the Danger Room for about a year or so. With the boots came what looked like a vintage nurses uniform, except it was black and probably way shorter than regulation length was back in the day. Kitty informed me that "Hot Topic" had a sale on those, but she'd never worn it before because she thought it was ugly. Thanks Kitty.
As Jubilee worked my hair into a series of complicated twists at the top of my head, the radio in our room started playing hits from the 60's, 70's, 80's, and 90's just like the obnoxious voice on that station so loudly promised every time he got to speak. Kitty was engaging in a marvelous rendition of Cher's "The Shoop Shoop Song" with a discarded hairbrush as her microphone and a disheveled twin bed as her stage, when the door flew open. She shrieked, fell smack on her behind, and sunk through the floorboards accidentally. The indignant male cries told me that the boy's bathroom was right below us, and it was shower time for them.
"I've been informed that I must tell you ladies to shut your pie- holes by a few disturbed geeks who need to study," Logan growled. His eyes widened a bit when he saw what I was wearing, and how much makeup I had applied.
"We're just having a little makeup party, Professor Logan," Jubilee lied. I could tell he didn't believe her; in fact, it almost looked like he KNEW what was going on. That couldn't be possible though, Remy wouldn't squeal to him about our plans.
"Ladies..." He started to leave, but was nearly knocked down as Kitty zoomed into the bedroom, face bright red, and tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks. She cast one frightened look at Logan before slamming the door in his face.
"I saw Bobby's PENIS!" She shrieked, not realizing that a closed door wasn't sufficient enough cover from prying ears, namely Logan's. Jube's and I frantically tried to shush her.
All we heard from the other side of the door was a soft chuckle, and then footsteps as Logan headed back to his room.
Well, that's all of the strange happenings before the big dance, and it looks like we're all ready to go. Will write soon, and maybe next entry I will be bragging about my new boyfriend!
"Rogue"
Part of Logan was expecting "The Dig" to be some pastel, crepe papered, mirror-balled parody of a high school dance, not unlike the one that had been thrown at the mansion not long ago. He was quite mistaken, however.
"The Dig" looked very much like some of the underground clubs he had seen in his travels. Smoke, liquor, blinding flashing lights, and loud "not high school" acceptable music assaulted his senses from the second he crossed the threshold. He frantically scanned the crowd for his familiar brunette and her band of bubble-headed pals.
Fortunately, they weren't that far ahead of him in the club, just far enough away for him to go unnoticed. His blood started a slow boil when his eyes fell upon Rogue's gloved hand lightly touching Remy's ungloved one.
The boil accelerated quite a bit more when a slick looking man with oily blonde hair, and a button up shirt made of frighteningly bright material walked up to Rogue and boldly gave her behind a quick grope. He moved in for the kill, but the Cajun shared a similar feeling of outrage and got to him first.
"Keep your filthy hands off of her!" Remy had grabbed hold of the man's collar. Rogue immediately tried to pull the man's shirt free.
"Remy, he owns this place, and we know each other, it's okay! Tell him, girls!"
"She's right, Remy. Jake is a friend of ours, he always sexually harasses us, and we do the same," Jubilee explained calmly. Surprising to Logan, Remy released his hold on the man. It would've taken more than that weak excuse to pry Logan's claws from that man's stomach, had he been there instead of the Cajun.
"Sorry about that, kid. I guess I should've warned you about the little running gag the girls and I have going on, that Bobby kid she used to go out with seemed okay with it..." Jake gave the girls a small wave, and walked away.
That's because "that Bobby kid" was a pussy, Logan thought.
He watched them sit at a tiny round table off to the side of the dance floor. It seemed as if legal drinking age didn't matter, because Logan identified the drinks that were placed at their table as: rum and coke, a Bloody Mary, a Screwdriver, and for Rogue, several shot glasses of Tequila. He had given her such good taste in drinks.
"Hey, Remy, why don't you and Rogue go get your groove on right now, " Kitty suggested playfully as the sounds of "Brick-house 2003", as sung by Rob Zombie, started filling the air.
"Yeah, this is one of Rogue's favorite song," Jubilee added. It wasn't, but Rogue was willing to play along.
"Would you care to dance, cher?" Remy inquired.
"Well you know...yes."
The very millisecond that Rogue's body started to sway to the fast paced song, Logan had been caught in some kind of trance. For a while he could ignore the other figure dancing VERY closely next to, and just concentrate on the flawless flow that her body took as it was in motion. Logan wasn't one to get deep or anything, but it was like poetry to him.
The trance was interrupted when he spied Remy's hand resting on Rogue's hip. Now the dance turned into the opposite of poetry. Now it was a cruel taunt. That damn Cajun seemed so smug to have such a beautiful girl practically making love to him through dance. They were both smug, knowing that no one else on the floor could dance quite as well as the two of them together.
Then it happened. Remy's lips quickly brushed against Rogue's before he could feel the pull of her powers. That quick little kiss was the final nail in the coffin for Logan; he couldn't sit and watch this unfold any longer. He walked towards them in quick, long strides, Kitty and Jubilee saw him before the other two could, and they paled to roughly the shade of flour.
"Party's over, children," Logan announced in an icy voice.
End of Chapter.
In case any of you were wondering what the song "Let's Talk Dirty to the Animals" was, here are the lyrics for your reading pleasure. I would also suggest downloading it!
LET'S TALK DIRTY TO THE ANIMALS
A rooster says Good Morning With a "Cock-a-doodle-doo" - Good Morning! A horse's neigh is just his way Of saying, "How are you". A lion growls "Hello" And owls ask "Why" and "Where" and "Who". May I suggest you get undressed And show them your wazoo - Oh,
The animals, the animals, Let's talk dirty to the animals Fuck you, Mister Bunny Eat Shit, Mister Bear. If they don't love it, they can shove it Frankly, I don't care - Oh,
The animals, the animals, Let's talk dirty to the animals Up yours, Mister Hippo Piss off, Mister Fox. Go tell a chicken "Suck my dick" an' Give him Chicken Pox - Oh,
The animals, the animals, Let's talk dirty to the animals From birds in the treetops To snakes in the grass - But, Never tell an alligator "Bite my..." No! Never tell an alligator "Bite my..." Yes! Never tell an alligator "Bite my... snatch.
Authors note: This chapter starts out as a diary entry and slips into 3rd person. Lovely things occur in this lovely chapter, in which Rogue and her two pals prepare for the dance club, they sneak out after a close call, and Remy and Logan both get bit by the angry jealousy bug as club-owner flirts with our southern darling. Will have a few song mentions here and. Oh, and I mentioned Buffy in this one.
Diary entry two: Preparing for the club.
I have been having many, many fantasies about going to "The Dig" with Remy. Most of them are of us dancing to a slow Cibo Matto song in manner of Buffy and Xander in an extremely close proximity to one another. That would be divine...
The sneak-out is minutes away, but I have to divulge the details of the events leading up to this very moment.
Two hours ago, Kitty and Jubilee were helping me prepare for what they called "an old-fashioned date with chaperones and everything". When they were tearing up my wardrobe with the pure drive of a pack of evil satanic lionesses in heat, it occurred to me that nothing seemed appropriate to wear in front of Remy, or inappropriate, rather.
I never had this problem with Bobby before. I think it's because even when we were going out, I always felt like he was more of a safe friend, and I really needn't have bothered with trying to impress him. I think with Remy it's more of really needing to make him look at me, I mean really look at me.
Somewhere in my wardrobe laid a pair of black fishnet stockings, which I think was left over from when John had convinced a group of us to dress as characters from "Rocky Horror Picture Show" a year back. I miss John. I have this recurring image of him crashing the school choir concert with his rendition of "Let's Talk Dirty to the Animals" originally sung by Gilda Radner, the funniest woman who ever breathed. I wonder what he's up to right now? Does he sing that song for Magneto? I highly doubt that HE would think it was funny, maybe Mystique would, I'm not sure.
Anyway, the fishnets were selected as the first part of my ensemble. Thus followed by a pair of boots that Jubilee stole from the uniform room after learning how to infiltrate its tight security. She has been working on breaking into the Danger Room for about a year or so. With the boots came what looked like a vintage nurses uniform, except it was black and probably way shorter than regulation length was back in the day. Kitty informed me that "Hot Topic" had a sale on those, but she'd never worn it before because she thought it was ugly. Thanks Kitty.
As Jubilee worked my hair into a series of complicated twists at the top of my head, the radio in our room started playing hits from the 60's, 70's, 80's, and 90's just like the obnoxious voice on that station so loudly promised every time he got to speak. Kitty was engaging in a marvelous rendition of Cher's "The Shoop Shoop Song" with a discarded hairbrush as her microphone and a disheveled twin bed as her stage, when the door flew open. She shrieked, fell smack on her behind, and sunk through the floorboards accidentally. The indignant male cries told me that the boy's bathroom was right below us, and it was shower time for them.
"I've been informed that I must tell you ladies to shut your pie- holes by a few disturbed geeks who need to study," Logan growled. His eyes widened a bit when he saw what I was wearing, and how much makeup I had applied.
"We're just having a little makeup party, Professor Logan," Jubilee lied. I could tell he didn't believe her; in fact, it almost looked like he KNEW what was going on. That couldn't be possible though, Remy wouldn't squeal to him about our plans.
"Ladies..." He started to leave, but was nearly knocked down as Kitty zoomed into the bedroom, face bright red, and tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks. She cast one frightened look at Logan before slamming the door in his face.
"I saw Bobby's PENIS!" She shrieked, not realizing that a closed door wasn't sufficient enough cover from prying ears, namely Logan's. Jube's and I frantically tried to shush her.
All we heard from the other side of the door was a soft chuckle, and then footsteps as Logan headed back to his room.
Well, that's all of the strange happenings before the big dance, and it looks like we're all ready to go. Will write soon, and maybe next entry I will be bragging about my new boyfriend!
"Rogue"
Part of Logan was expecting "The Dig" to be some pastel, crepe papered, mirror-balled parody of a high school dance, not unlike the one that had been thrown at the mansion not long ago. He was quite mistaken, however.
"The Dig" looked very much like some of the underground clubs he had seen in his travels. Smoke, liquor, blinding flashing lights, and loud "not high school" acceptable music assaulted his senses from the second he crossed the threshold. He frantically scanned the crowd for his familiar brunette and her band of bubble-headed pals.
Fortunately, they weren't that far ahead of him in the club, just far enough away for him to go unnoticed. His blood started a slow boil when his eyes fell upon Rogue's gloved hand lightly touching Remy's ungloved one.
The boil accelerated quite a bit more when a slick looking man with oily blonde hair, and a button up shirt made of frighteningly bright material walked up to Rogue and boldly gave her behind a quick grope. He moved in for the kill, but the Cajun shared a similar feeling of outrage and got to him first.
"Keep your filthy hands off of her!" Remy had grabbed hold of the man's collar. Rogue immediately tried to pull the man's shirt free.
"Remy, he owns this place, and we know each other, it's okay! Tell him, girls!"
"She's right, Remy. Jake is a friend of ours, he always sexually harasses us, and we do the same," Jubilee explained calmly. Surprising to Logan, Remy released his hold on the man. It would've taken more than that weak excuse to pry Logan's claws from that man's stomach, had he been there instead of the Cajun.
"Sorry about that, kid. I guess I should've warned you about the little running gag the girls and I have going on, that Bobby kid she used to go out with seemed okay with it..." Jake gave the girls a small wave, and walked away.
That's because "that Bobby kid" was a pussy, Logan thought.
He watched them sit at a tiny round table off to the side of the dance floor. It seemed as if legal drinking age didn't matter, because Logan identified the drinks that were placed at their table as: rum and coke, a Bloody Mary, a Screwdriver, and for Rogue, several shot glasses of Tequila. He had given her such good taste in drinks.
"Hey, Remy, why don't you and Rogue go get your groove on right now, " Kitty suggested playfully as the sounds of "Brick-house 2003", as sung by Rob Zombie, started filling the air.
"Yeah, this is one of Rogue's favorite song," Jubilee added. It wasn't, but Rogue was willing to play along.
"Would you care to dance, cher?" Remy inquired.
"Well you know...yes."
The very millisecond that Rogue's body started to sway to the fast paced song, Logan had been caught in some kind of trance. For a while he could ignore the other figure dancing VERY closely next to, and just concentrate on the flawless flow that her body took as it was in motion. Logan wasn't one to get deep or anything, but it was like poetry to him.
The trance was interrupted when he spied Remy's hand resting on Rogue's hip. Now the dance turned into the opposite of poetry. Now it was a cruel taunt. That damn Cajun seemed so smug to have such a beautiful girl practically making love to him through dance. They were both smug, knowing that no one else on the floor could dance quite as well as the two of them together.
Then it happened. Remy's lips quickly brushed against Rogue's before he could feel the pull of her powers. That quick little kiss was the final nail in the coffin for Logan; he couldn't sit and watch this unfold any longer. He walked towards them in quick, long strides, Kitty and Jubilee saw him before the other two could, and they paled to roughly the shade of flour.
"Party's over, children," Logan announced in an icy voice.
End of Chapter.
In case any of you were wondering what the song "Let's Talk Dirty to the Animals" was, here are the lyrics for your reading pleasure. I would also suggest downloading it!
LET'S TALK DIRTY TO THE ANIMALS
A rooster says Good Morning With a "Cock-a-doodle-doo" - Good Morning! A horse's neigh is just his way Of saying, "How are you". A lion growls "Hello" And owls ask "Why" and "Where" and "Who". May I suggest you get undressed And show them your wazoo - Oh,
The animals, the animals, Let's talk dirty to the animals Fuck you, Mister Bunny Eat Shit, Mister Bear. If they don't love it, they can shove it Frankly, I don't care - Oh,
The animals, the animals, Let's talk dirty to the animals Up yours, Mister Hippo Piss off, Mister Fox. Go tell a chicken "Suck my dick" an' Give him Chicken Pox - Oh,
The animals, the animals, Let's talk dirty to the animals From birds in the treetops To snakes in the grass - But, Never tell an alligator "Bite my..." No! Never tell an alligator "Bite my..." Yes! Never tell an alligator "Bite my... snatch.