A Steel Magnolia's Guide to Coping with Mutation
The long awaited update
By: Sweet Audrina
Evil Hair Bleach and the Halloween Dance
Authors note: Blame the lack of update on my lack of inspiration once again. I do realize how lazy I am some of the time...most of the time. Debby got me off of my ass to update this so give her a great big thank you! She even put my inspiration fairy in the hospital over it, but she's recovering quickly. Oh, and I used a term from "Bridget Jones's Diary" in this chapter, the wonderful oft used word "singleton". Oh, and I don't own Devo, or Spike and Drusilla, or The Godfather...but I do mention them.
The Halloween dance was closely approaching; here there and everywhere, the sounds of preparations were being made. Trips into the city were frequent. Most of the frequent visits, however, were unauthorized and un-chaperoned. Most of the students that didn't want to brave the city for costumes were content to try and use the resources at the mansion, or bribe the braver ones for the more exotic materials.
Kitty and Jubilee had managed to gather up a few dateless losers like themselves, and devised a costume scheme so perfect, so thoughtfully made up, that it almost drove them to tears. They were going as Devo, the 1980's pop rock band, as seen in the "Whip It" music video.
"And if you didn't have a date, you could've been the guy with the keyboard, Rogue," Jubilee grumbled, bitterly shoving half of a Zebra cake into her mouth. All three of them were casually lounging in the rec room, stuffing their faces with various sweets, as was the breakfast ritual.
"I thought you were happy that Remy asked me to the dance!" She exclaimed, unwrapping her own snack cake.
"We are happy for you, Rogue, it's just that..."
"What, Kitty, what's wrong?"
"Well...now you can't really be a part of the Singleton Club, can you?" Rogue's eyes widened angrily.
"Of course I'm still part of the Singleton Club! It's just a dance...I invented the Singleton Club for Xavier's Dateless Students, you can't kick me out of my own invention!"
"We aren't kicking you out, Rogue. Nice job, Kitty," Jubilee replied coolly.
"You brought it up, Jubes!"
"Well, I'll finish the discussion. Holy shit, "The Godfather" is on T.V. again... anyway, Rogue, what are you and your Cajun lover going as this year?" All three pairs of eyes were glued to the screen as Sonny proceeded to beat Connie's abusive husband within and inch of his life.
"Well, we kind of decided on going as Spike and Drusilla, but Remy's worried about bleaching his hair, so we're not sure."
"Ooo that would be perfect! Tell Remy not to worry, I'm going to do his hair," Jubilee informed with a little smile on her face. Kitty gulped.
"What are you gulping at, you silly twit?"
"Nothing, Jubes."
"Yeah, I'll be sure to tell him," Rogue stated.
"Good! Then we can all work on your dress as well...something low cut, no doubt."
"Yeah, we can go into the Home Ec. room and ask Logan to put it together and everything," Kitty replied, taking a sip from her blue- raspberry slushy.
"Or we could just buy it," Jubes suggested, not getting the sarcasm.
Remy LeBeau was terrified. He clutched the arms of the wooden dining room chair he was seated on until his knuckles turned white, and fidgeted under the itchy towel that was wrapped stubbornly around his neck. Sitting across from him, smiling encouragingly was Rogue.
"I'm really sorry, Remy, she wouldn't let me make an appointment to have a professional do this," Rogue apologized, patting one of his hands affectionately with her gloved one.
"I AM a professional!" Jubilee announced, waltzing into the kitchen with her hands sheathed in rubber gloves. Kitty followed behind her with a bottle of foul smelling bleach, and a comb.
"Anything for you, cher," Remy replied, managing a weak smile at Jubilee as she made her way to his chair.
"You'd better not stain that chair, Jubes, Mr. Summers will be really pissed if you get more bleach on the chair than on Remy's head," Kitty warned.
"Would you quit nagging me? These chairs will go right back into the dining room as good as new...although, they would make better blondes than brunettes."
"If it's not to much to ask, girls, could you possibly just get this over with, please?" Remy begged. Jubilee delivered a quick smack to the back of his head. He winced.
"Quiet you!"
Quite some time later, Remy's head was under the sink, and Jubilee was scrubbing the substance from his hair with great relish. Kitty and Rogue were on either sides of the sink, waiting fearfully for the final results.
Under the callous treatment of Jubilee in regards to the rinsing of his hair, Remy was compelled to let out a few French curse words under his breath.
"Yeah, yeah, same to your mother, Remy," Jubilee replied.
The final results were actually quite good. Remy's auburn tresses had achieved the desired blondeness of Rogue's beloved dream vampire lover, a fact that had her two friends a bit envious...until they looked at the back of his head.
"I can fix it," Jubilee stated quickly. Kitty just stared, blinked a few times, and then walked out of the kitchen.
"What?" Remy asked in a panicky voice.
"Don't worry, sugar, there's just a little bit of...orange," Rogue explained in a reassuring tone.
"A little bit? Rogue, it's about the size of a baseball!" Rogue swatted at Jubilee, who carefully dodged the blow.
"I can fix it," she repeated going for the bleach bottle once more. Remy stood up quickly, and backed away from the chair.
"No, Jubes, I'm taking Remy to the city to get this fixed. Your dyeing days are over!" With that, she took Remy's hand, and they fled the kitchen.
"Dammit!" Jubilee swore, starting to clean up the mess she made.
Logan, somehow, had been convinced to chaperone the Halloween dance...and he really wished he had said no. If Scott had asked him, he would've given him a negative answer, and even the same with Ororo.....but no, Xavier had been the one to request it. The one person who would be able to see through ANY excuse to get out of the responsibility. What was he supposed to tell him, "Oh, no, I've got a long night of going out drinking with several attractive nameless women"? That wouldn't fly at all. The stupidest thing about it...they expected him to wear a costume.
Logan was sure that even when he was a child, he hated Halloween. There was no way that he, as an adult, could hate it so much, without it being rooted in something with his forgotten childhood. His mom had probably made him wear some lame bunny outfit instead of something cool, like a Superman costume, public humiliation ensuing. Yes, that explained everything.
So there he was, standing sentry at the punch table, wearing his everyday clothing, only they were slightly ripped and bloody, a plastic machete clutched in his right hand.
He surveyed the masses with extreme boredom until she waltzed into the room. Her, and that Cajun asshole she was always hanging on. Logan hated that boy. He hated him from the first time he caught his Marie giving that boy the doe eyes.
He looked like some sort of freaky nancy-boy to Logan, with the peroxide blonde hair, and the full-length leather duster...were his nails painted black? Yes, they were. What the hell was he trying to be?
She, however, looked nearer to perfection than what Logan had ever seen in his entire life. The two white streaks in her hair had been covered in a temporary brunette dye for her costume. Her hair had been pulled back away from her face, held by bobby pins, and the ends had been brushed and curled so they shone brilliantly as her hair cascaded down her back elegantly. Not much had been done for makeup, just some coloring around her eyes to make them stand out dramatically. The dress was a cross between being obscenely girlish and heart-stopping eroticism. It was white, with puffed cap sleeves, a low scooping neckline, and an empire waist, something that could've very well been worn in the regency period. Her breasts had been pushed up to reveal a bit more cleavage than was modest, and Logan could not for the life of him, stop staring.
All in all, it was the best costume he had seen since the freaks with the funny hats had arrived.
She noticed shortly after he had noticed her. She raised a gloved hand and waved frantically, running over to him, abandoning Remy completely.
"Logan, hi!" She stopped a few feet away from him, breathing a bit heavily from running all the way across the ballroom.
"Hey kid. Can't say I approve of that get-up, or the accessory you brought with you," he said gruffly, referring to Remy, who was approaching them at his own pace.
"Oh, honestly, it's something Drusilla would wear, and it's Halloween, and I'm old enough to show off this much skin. As for Remy..."
"What about me, cher?" Remy inquired, wrapping his arms around Rogue's waist from behind, and smirking at Logan.
"Nothing Remy, Logan was just complimenting us on our costume choices."
"Sure I was, darlin'. Just tell the Cajun here that if he tries anything funny I'll rip out his heart and feed it to him, clear?" He didn't wait for a reply; he was angrily stalking away from the both of them. Rogue was grinning to herself, quite satisfied with his little outburst.
"Let's dance, sugar."
End of Chapter
The long awaited update
By: Sweet Audrina
Evil Hair Bleach and the Halloween Dance
Authors note: Blame the lack of update on my lack of inspiration once again. I do realize how lazy I am some of the time...most of the time. Debby got me off of my ass to update this so give her a great big thank you! She even put my inspiration fairy in the hospital over it, but she's recovering quickly. Oh, and I used a term from "Bridget Jones's Diary" in this chapter, the wonderful oft used word "singleton". Oh, and I don't own Devo, or Spike and Drusilla, or The Godfather...but I do mention them.
The Halloween dance was closely approaching; here there and everywhere, the sounds of preparations were being made. Trips into the city were frequent. Most of the frequent visits, however, were unauthorized and un-chaperoned. Most of the students that didn't want to brave the city for costumes were content to try and use the resources at the mansion, or bribe the braver ones for the more exotic materials.
Kitty and Jubilee had managed to gather up a few dateless losers like themselves, and devised a costume scheme so perfect, so thoughtfully made up, that it almost drove them to tears. They were going as Devo, the 1980's pop rock band, as seen in the "Whip It" music video.
"And if you didn't have a date, you could've been the guy with the keyboard, Rogue," Jubilee grumbled, bitterly shoving half of a Zebra cake into her mouth. All three of them were casually lounging in the rec room, stuffing their faces with various sweets, as was the breakfast ritual.
"I thought you were happy that Remy asked me to the dance!" She exclaimed, unwrapping her own snack cake.
"We are happy for you, Rogue, it's just that..."
"What, Kitty, what's wrong?"
"Well...now you can't really be a part of the Singleton Club, can you?" Rogue's eyes widened angrily.
"Of course I'm still part of the Singleton Club! It's just a dance...I invented the Singleton Club for Xavier's Dateless Students, you can't kick me out of my own invention!"
"We aren't kicking you out, Rogue. Nice job, Kitty," Jubilee replied coolly.
"You brought it up, Jubes!"
"Well, I'll finish the discussion. Holy shit, "The Godfather" is on T.V. again... anyway, Rogue, what are you and your Cajun lover going as this year?" All three pairs of eyes were glued to the screen as Sonny proceeded to beat Connie's abusive husband within and inch of his life.
"Well, we kind of decided on going as Spike and Drusilla, but Remy's worried about bleaching his hair, so we're not sure."
"Ooo that would be perfect! Tell Remy not to worry, I'm going to do his hair," Jubilee informed with a little smile on her face. Kitty gulped.
"What are you gulping at, you silly twit?"
"Nothing, Jubes."
"Yeah, I'll be sure to tell him," Rogue stated.
"Good! Then we can all work on your dress as well...something low cut, no doubt."
"Yeah, we can go into the Home Ec. room and ask Logan to put it together and everything," Kitty replied, taking a sip from her blue- raspberry slushy.
"Or we could just buy it," Jubes suggested, not getting the sarcasm.
Remy LeBeau was terrified. He clutched the arms of the wooden dining room chair he was seated on until his knuckles turned white, and fidgeted under the itchy towel that was wrapped stubbornly around his neck. Sitting across from him, smiling encouragingly was Rogue.
"I'm really sorry, Remy, she wouldn't let me make an appointment to have a professional do this," Rogue apologized, patting one of his hands affectionately with her gloved one.
"I AM a professional!" Jubilee announced, waltzing into the kitchen with her hands sheathed in rubber gloves. Kitty followed behind her with a bottle of foul smelling bleach, and a comb.
"Anything for you, cher," Remy replied, managing a weak smile at Jubilee as she made her way to his chair.
"You'd better not stain that chair, Jubes, Mr. Summers will be really pissed if you get more bleach on the chair than on Remy's head," Kitty warned.
"Would you quit nagging me? These chairs will go right back into the dining room as good as new...although, they would make better blondes than brunettes."
"If it's not to much to ask, girls, could you possibly just get this over with, please?" Remy begged. Jubilee delivered a quick smack to the back of his head. He winced.
"Quiet you!"
Quite some time later, Remy's head was under the sink, and Jubilee was scrubbing the substance from his hair with great relish. Kitty and Rogue were on either sides of the sink, waiting fearfully for the final results.
Under the callous treatment of Jubilee in regards to the rinsing of his hair, Remy was compelled to let out a few French curse words under his breath.
"Yeah, yeah, same to your mother, Remy," Jubilee replied.
The final results were actually quite good. Remy's auburn tresses had achieved the desired blondeness of Rogue's beloved dream vampire lover, a fact that had her two friends a bit envious...until they looked at the back of his head.
"I can fix it," Jubilee stated quickly. Kitty just stared, blinked a few times, and then walked out of the kitchen.
"What?" Remy asked in a panicky voice.
"Don't worry, sugar, there's just a little bit of...orange," Rogue explained in a reassuring tone.
"A little bit? Rogue, it's about the size of a baseball!" Rogue swatted at Jubilee, who carefully dodged the blow.
"I can fix it," she repeated going for the bleach bottle once more. Remy stood up quickly, and backed away from the chair.
"No, Jubes, I'm taking Remy to the city to get this fixed. Your dyeing days are over!" With that, she took Remy's hand, and they fled the kitchen.
"Dammit!" Jubilee swore, starting to clean up the mess she made.
Logan, somehow, had been convinced to chaperone the Halloween dance...and he really wished he had said no. If Scott had asked him, he would've given him a negative answer, and even the same with Ororo.....but no, Xavier had been the one to request it. The one person who would be able to see through ANY excuse to get out of the responsibility. What was he supposed to tell him, "Oh, no, I've got a long night of going out drinking with several attractive nameless women"? That wouldn't fly at all. The stupidest thing about it...they expected him to wear a costume.
Logan was sure that even when he was a child, he hated Halloween. There was no way that he, as an adult, could hate it so much, without it being rooted in something with his forgotten childhood. His mom had probably made him wear some lame bunny outfit instead of something cool, like a Superman costume, public humiliation ensuing. Yes, that explained everything.
So there he was, standing sentry at the punch table, wearing his everyday clothing, only they were slightly ripped and bloody, a plastic machete clutched in his right hand.
He surveyed the masses with extreme boredom until she waltzed into the room. Her, and that Cajun asshole she was always hanging on. Logan hated that boy. He hated him from the first time he caught his Marie giving that boy the doe eyes.
He looked like some sort of freaky nancy-boy to Logan, with the peroxide blonde hair, and the full-length leather duster...were his nails painted black? Yes, they were. What the hell was he trying to be?
She, however, looked nearer to perfection than what Logan had ever seen in his entire life. The two white streaks in her hair had been covered in a temporary brunette dye for her costume. Her hair had been pulled back away from her face, held by bobby pins, and the ends had been brushed and curled so they shone brilliantly as her hair cascaded down her back elegantly. Not much had been done for makeup, just some coloring around her eyes to make them stand out dramatically. The dress was a cross between being obscenely girlish and heart-stopping eroticism. It was white, with puffed cap sleeves, a low scooping neckline, and an empire waist, something that could've very well been worn in the regency period. Her breasts had been pushed up to reveal a bit more cleavage than was modest, and Logan could not for the life of him, stop staring.
All in all, it was the best costume he had seen since the freaks with the funny hats had arrived.
She noticed shortly after he had noticed her. She raised a gloved hand and waved frantically, running over to him, abandoning Remy completely.
"Logan, hi!" She stopped a few feet away from him, breathing a bit heavily from running all the way across the ballroom.
"Hey kid. Can't say I approve of that get-up, or the accessory you brought with you," he said gruffly, referring to Remy, who was approaching them at his own pace.
"Oh, honestly, it's something Drusilla would wear, and it's Halloween, and I'm old enough to show off this much skin. As for Remy..."
"What about me, cher?" Remy inquired, wrapping his arms around Rogue's waist from behind, and smirking at Logan.
"Nothing Remy, Logan was just complimenting us on our costume choices."
"Sure I was, darlin'. Just tell the Cajun here that if he tries anything funny I'll rip out his heart and feed it to him, clear?" He didn't wait for a reply; he was angrily stalking away from the both of them. Rogue was grinning to herself, quite satisfied with his little outburst.
"Let's dance, sugar."
End of Chapter