Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to the goddess, JKR. Dedicated to my friends. The title is Hebrew for belief…I am using it to mean faith (thanks Mel!).
EmunahSix weeks.
Three days.
Eight hours.
Twenty-seven minutes.
Severus Snape was quickly learning that a life not filled with annoying students, lesson plans, night patrols and the tedious work of marking was a life lived very, very slowly. In fact, he found himself watching the swinging pendulum of his clock and wondering what on earth he was going to do with the rest of his life. His life for so many years had revolved around Hogwarts. His home. His sanctuary. His refuge.
Dumbledore had made it quite clear that he would not accept the resignation immediately but had offered instead a leave of absence…a sabbatical of a few months to get his head clear. If, after three months, he still wished to resign, the Headmaster would make the necessary arrangements. But, as Severus reflected, where was he to go? Job prospects were not exactly easy to find at the best of times. Potions Masters tended to stay in one place and a good position at a reasonably good school was a rarity.
"And, to make matters worse, he hired Black to teach in my absence," Severus practically gritted his teeth in annoyance. "The man doesn't know the difference between butterbeer and a dreamless sleep potion. It's a wonder no one has died yet."
In fact, Severus was beginning to think that his only option would be to traverse the Atlantic and seek out a position in either Canada or the United States…and he was not terribly happy with either choice. Canada was too cold and a working knowledge of French was a requirement. The United States was too big and overcrowded classrooms promised to be more boisterous than what he had been used to.
What was he going to do?
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door and, wearily, Severus got up.
"Who's there?" he asked in a voice that clearly demonstrated he was not in the mood to entertain unexpected guests.
There was no answer.
Sighing, and not without some trepidation, Severus unlocked the door and opened it. He barely registered the rapidly approaching fist when he felt an explosion of pain in his right jaw and felt himself falling backwards onto the hard tile floor. Hitting his head, he blinked back the twinkling stars and forced himself slowly into a sitting position, massaging his jaw gingerly. He tasted blood and a tooth had been knocked out. He pulled it out of his mouth and looked at it for a moment before looking up at his visitor.
"Nice to see you too, Black," Severus raised his eyes to the raging man in front of him.
"What the hell is wrong with you, Snape?" Sirius yelled.
"You, for one thing. You teaching Potions is another," Severus smirked as he got to his feet, using a wing chair for support, as he was still somewhat wobbly.
"I have half a mind to tear you apart with my bare hands," Sirius growled.
"I wouldn't stop you. Far be it from me to take away from your obvious pleasure in my dismemberment," Severus drawled, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Stop acting like such an insufferable bastard, Snape. You and I both know why I am here."
"Did you need help preparing lesson plans?" Severus sneered.
Sirius took a step forward but checked himself. "We need to talk."
"Really? I didn't realize your form of communications included fisticuffs," Severus replied sarcastically. "Very articulate. By the way, you pack a mean left hook, by the way."
"I'm right-handed…I might have killed you otherwise."
"It would not have been a great loss."
Sirius glared at him. "Stop acting like a bloody martyr, Snape! It doesn't suit you!"
"Why are you here, Black? Other than causing me much annoyance, I see no purpose to your continued presence."
"It's against my better judgment, Snape. In fact, if I didn't think there was any other way…"
"For heaven's sake, man, just spit it out! I haven't all day, you know. A social calendar such as mine fills up rather quickly. Everyone wants time with the former Death Eater, former Potions Master…"
"You have to come back to Hogwarts, Snape."
Severus stopped in mid-sentence and stared at the other man.
"My apologies, Black. The blow to my head must have altered my hearing. Did you just tell me that I had to go back to Hogwarts?"
Sirius nodded grimly.
"I have only ever listened to you once, Black, and I don't recall it being a pleasant experience," Severus spat out.
Sirius had the good grace to look somewhat abashed. "I know I have acted like a bloody prat at times, and I am not saying that you were completely undeserving, you know…"
"Of course, I completely understand why you would want me to be killed or afflicted with the same curse as Lupin."
"Look…I am not here to start digging up the past! We have both done things in our past that we would give anything to erase. Let's leave them in the past. I'm here to talk about the here and now."
"How prosaic, Black. Dumbledore is rubbing off on you."
"It's too bad he didn't rub off on you otherwise you wouldn't be here, feeling sorry for yourself while a young woman who, for some unknown reason, loves you, is miserable back at Hogwarts."
Severus frowned at Sirius. "That isn't true. Kindly, do me the courtesy of not lying to my face."
"I wish I could," Sirius ran a hand through his hair tiredly. "How I wish I could laugh at you and say that none of this is true. That she doesn't love you. That it is all a joke. But, it's not. As much as I hate to admit it, Hermione loves you. Why she does is a complete mystery to me. I never thought she would love a person like you…always thought she might go for Ron or Harry or maybe Percy. Hell, even Krum would have been a better choice in my eyes. But no, she would have none of them. Set her eyes on you, she did. Never said anything to anyone, except maybe Dumbledore because he knew about the whole unregistered animagus issue and he always had a soft spot for you."
"Yes, he has always taken it upon himself to protect the pathetic cases," Severus sat down on the wing chair and massaged his temples fiercely. "He should be canonized."
"Dumbledore doesn't think of you as pathetic, you idiot. And neither does Hermione."
"She deceived me."
"She wanted to protect you. She was scared you might try to…well, hurt yourself again."
"She pitied me."
"She has never pitied you and has always said that she admired your strength and courage…her words, not mine," Sirius added quickly.
"She was an eavesdropper."
"You had no one else to talk to and she wanted to be there for you. She actually liked spending the evenings with you, watching you work and watching you write. She thought…you were misunderstood more than anything else."
"It seems as if she told you everything," Severus replied bitterly.
"I had to practically administer Veritaserum to get the truth out of her. She has been miserable for the past few weeks. She isn't eating, although she makes a great play at moving food around her plate. She is barely sleeping, although she is masterful at concealing her fatigue. She looks as if she is ready to break. What was I supposed to do? Leave her alone? Wait for her to drop?"
Severus did not reply and merely glared at Sirius.
"Snape, I know you feel betrayed by all this. Someone you thought was your confidante and your friend suddenly turns out to be something quite different. But, you have to realize that she was scared to tell you the truth because…she loved you and didn't want to lose you," Sirius looked quite ill saying this.
"Love must be built on trust and honesty. She has shown me neither," Severus said quietly.
Sirius raised a questioning eyebrow at the comment and shook his head in mock wonder. "She did, you know…in a way. Cats don't lie. I know because I have personal experience in the matter. Very truthful beasts."
"I…I don't know, Black. I find it difficult to believe that she could harbour any feelings for me."
"Well, she does and she is miserable because of it. You have to do the right thing and come back, Snape. I…I know you…care about her…maybe you even love her. What is to be gained from sitting here, moping, when your chance at happiness is so close? Take it from me, when you get a chance like that, you have to grab it. If you don't have faith, you have nothing."
Severus stared at Sirius for several moments.
"When did you become such a philosopher, Black?"
"I let one get away…and I regret it each day," Sirius replied, his expression carefully guarded.
"I will…think about it, Black. Don't ask me to make a decision this instant. I don't believe I am capable of that."
Sirius nodded, turning towards the open door.
"And, Black?"
Sirius glanced back.
"Thank you."
Sirius mumbled something incoherent about Slytherins before exiting and closing the door behind him.
"Perhaps Black is right," he thought to himself. "Perhaps it is time for the traitor and the spy to show that he too can make a blind leap of faith."
And, for the first time in many weeks, he smiled.
* * * * * *
Several nights later, Hermione was sitting in her office, reviewing seventh year proposals for their theses when there was a knock at her door. Too tired to answer it herself, she merely picked up her wand and opened the door with a quick 'Alohomora.'
There was no one there.
Thinking it must have been Peeves and one of his infernal practical jokes, Hermione sighed and quickly resumed the task at hand. She nearly jumped out of her skin when something warm and silky brushed against her leg.
"What on earth…" she thought as she leapt to her feet. Looking down, she saw a black cat staring up at her. It quickly jumped onto the desk and sat down, gazing at her calmly.
Hermione sat down and stared at the cat, a hand reaching out to scratch behind its ears. The cat began to purr in a drawling sort of way. She laughed…it suddenly reminded her of Draco Malfoy.
"Who are you?" she asked with a smile. "I haven't seen you here before. You must be one of Mrs. Norris' many progeny. You are a rather skinny cat but you have lovely shiny black fur."
The cat meowed at her as she ran her fingers along its back.
"Are you hungry?" she asked, picking up the cat and holding it close to her.
The cat merely yawned. Hermione suddenly yawned as well. Glancing at the wizarding clock, she gasped at the time.
"You're right, it's very late. I was supposed to be in bed hours ago," she looked at the cat again. "Well, do you have somewhere to go? I could offer my chambers…"
The cat snuggled deeper into her arms in response.
"I suppose I will take that as a yes," she smiled sleepily as she left the various parchments on her desk and locked up her office. She walked quickly to her chambers and, unwarding the entrance temporarily, she made her way to her bedroom. "I apologize for not being better company but I am very tired. We will get to know one another better tomorrow." Yawning, she didn't even take off her clothes before lying down on the bed and falling asleep almost instantly.
She didn't feel the cat jump up on the bed and curl up beside her.
********************
The next morning, Hermione awoke to the feeling of being warm and secure. She heard a muffled pounding…strong and steady. For a moment, she did not recognize it. And then, she did.
It was someone's heartbeat.
Opening her eyes, she found herself wrapped in someone's arms. Someone who had a scent she recognized almost without realizing it. Someone who was gazing at her with strangely familiar eyes. Someone she loved. And someone, she realized suddenly, who loved her as well.
"Severus?" she whispered in disbelief.
He nodded, softly kissing the top of her head.
"How?"
He gently placed a finger on her lips. "A most unlikely source told me that, sometimes, one must take a leap of faith. I have taken that piece of advice to heart…and so here I am. I know that I am not much, but all that I am is yours…if you want me."
"Am I dreaming, Severus?"
"No, Hermione. You are quite awake."
She smiled at him. "Good."
A/N: The epilogue will be coming soon! In case you haven't noticed by now, this story is loosely based on the three graces…faith, hope and charity. The epilogue will focus on the greatest grace; which, in my opinion, is love.