Disclaimer: Harry Potter. Still not mine… sigh
Kate the Great: Yeah, you're right. I promise to work harder at deAmericanizing my dialogue. Heck, that's half the charm, isn't it? As for Sirius… Keep reading! Thanks for all your kind reviews! By the way, you get a prize as well for noticing the math for Hermione's parents anniversary… 8-)
Japangirlcarley24: Blush Thank you very much!
Venus4280: Thank you, I appreciate that. I like Percy's character. He doesn't strike me as cruel, just insecure and a bit clueless. I agree with the healing timeline. That's why I had the actual physical abuse itself healed with the potions. Of course they'd use it where they could, but I wanted to show that not everything can heal by the next day. More Ron on the way…
Phoenix, Lynx, lothey, Sailor Sol, kaydee, Lady FoxFire, Harriet, and Tanya: Thank you SO MUCH for reviewing! I treasure all your input.
Nicky: LOL! Kill Fudge! We should all be so lucky!
Lilahp: You were my 100th reviewer!!! Yippee! Thank you so much! giggle
Author's Note: Well, everyone seemed so excited by the Prank Wars, that I felt I had to commence. Hope you enjoy! Thanks again for reading!
Chapter 9
Hermione Granger only partially succeeded in looking dignified as she stepped out of the Weasleys' fireplace and into their living room, but as it was, she needn't have worried. She paused for a moment, brushing the soot off of her jeans, and looked around to view an intriguing sight. Remus Lupin was literally howling with laughter, barely supporting himself on the side of the couch with one trembling arm. The other was wrapped around his stomach.
Fred and George were peeking out the kitchen door wearing equally satisfied expressions. Ron was laughing so hard he was snorting, and even Harry had a wide smile on his face as they all stared at the delicate looking miniature black poodle with blue eyes and a hot pink bow on top of it's head. It looked around in bewilderment, then growled as Professor Lupin finally toppled in fits of glee, resting his back against the side of the couch as tears streamed down his face. His hoots came out in struggling gasps.
"I have to stop! I can't breathe!..." he wheezed. "I haven't laughed this hard in decades!"
"Well done, old chap," Fred said in the doorway, only his head visible, making it appear as if it was hovering on its own, to George. George was further in the room, but held on to the doorframe as if he were ready to launch away should the dog choose to chase him.
"Indeed, my dear Fred. Indeed," George said in the most dignified accent he could muster.
"We'll have to rename you now, Padfoot. Perhaps Twinkle Toes would be more appropriate?" Remus asked, then fell completely on his side. "Oh! My side! I need a potion!" Lupin exclaimed, and the little poodle growled fiercely, then barked. Actually, he tried to bark, but it came out as more of a yipping sound. The dog paused and appeared shocked he'd made that noise. Hermione could have sworn he looked embarrassed, then turned on his heal and headed upstairs.
Hermione took this moment to internalize what was going on. The twins had to have played a joke on Sirius, turning him into the aforementioned poodle. She felt her own confused smile broaden with the realization, watching Sirius' expression of disgust as he struggled to leap up each step due to its height compared to his own. Every now and again he'd glare between the wooden slats of the banister and growl. It was really a cute growl.
"You blokes have blown it now!" Ron said as he watched Sirius depart. Fred and George now sauntered into the living room, still glowing with self- satisfaction.
"I'm quaking. You'll protect me, won't you, Fred?" George asked, placing a trembling sleeve on Fred's shoulder.
"Stand back, George. I'll save the day!" Fred cried, leaping up in the air and landing with his legs widely apart, one arm in front of him, palm facing forward. Hermione knew it from the movies as a typical hero's stance, but she had no idea where the twins could have picked it up.
Lupin had finally stopped laughing and was sitting up again, wiping at the tears on his face and shaking his head, his face years younger with the grin he still held. "Oh, you laugh now, children, but you really should have heeded his warning," he said. Ron nodded, and finally turned his attention to the fireplace.
"Hermione!" Ron said happily, and headed towards her. Harry had been lying on the couch Lupin now leaned against, propped up with pillows. Harry's head snapped in her direction and his face lit up into a smile as he too saw her.
"Hey, Hermione!" Harry said, his eyes still twinkling from earlier. Hermione walked across the room and gave Harry a big hug. She took advantage of his shy surprise at the hug to assess her other best friend's condition.
Harry had lost a great deal of weight. That much was obvious as she felt his shoulder blades sticking out painfully. He looked more like he did first year than he did last year, although his eyes, even bright with mirth, were shadowed and solemn. He had an old man's eyes peeking out of a young boy's face. His skin was cool and clammy to the touch, and she could feel the unsteadiness of his arms as he hugged her back. The paleness of his skin was stark contrast against his raven black hair. All in all, he didn't look good. As Hermione pulled away, Mrs. Weasley came into the room with her arms opened wide.
"Hermione! Good to see you, child. How has your summer been?" she asked, bustling Hermione into a warm embrace of her own. Hermione and Ron locked eyes for a moment. She looked into his eyes for answers, and instead saw grave concern. He twisted his lips into a reassuring smile, but Hermione knew things were not well.
"Fine, Mrs. Weasley. Mom and dad are off for a few weeks now. Dad threatened to renew their vows, so I'm looking forward to hearing what happens," Hermione said with a shake of the head. Her parents were still incurably romantic, and her dad liked to do silly, thoughtful things for no reason at all. Hermione remembered when her father had taken her, just her, to Paris when she was eight.
"I wanted you to see the most romantic city in the world with a man who will always love you," he'd told Hermione solemnly as they stood at the base of the Eiffel Tower, straining to see the top. Hermione smiled at the misty look that Mrs. Weasley now wore on her face. Hermione suspected Mrs. Weasley had never met a wedding she didn't cry at.
"That's just lovely," Mrs. Weasley exclaimed with a soft voice, then cleared her throat and glanced around at the remaining boys in the room (and Professor Lupin) and quickly bustled back into the kitchen. Hermione could have sworn she heard Mrs. Weasley muttering about wishing Ginny would return just to have three women in the Weasley household, even if for just a few weeks. She smiled and turned her attention back to her friends.
Hermione gave Ron a quick hug (he fidgeted ridiculously, but she squeezed tight nonetheless), then walked over and kneeled beside Professor Lupin, hugging him fiercely.
"Thank you so much, Professor," Hermione said with feeling. Professor Lupin blinked at the intensity, and she saw his eyes darken for a moment before he hugged her back.
"Harry's lucky to have friends like you two," Professor Lupin replied. "Please, call me Remus," he amended and raised an eyebrow in irony. Hermione wondered how often he'd said that particular phrase recently.
"I hope I get a hug like that, too," Sirius said from the stairs. Hermione laughed at Harry's godfather, who was coming down the stairs pulling a hot pink bow in annoyance out of his hair. In an instant, the twins shrieked with laughter and fled the house. "Run, but you can't hide," he muttered to no one in particular, and Hermione watched Harry shake his head.
"They have no idea what they're in for," Harry said with a smile. "I guess I'll get to see that Marauder madness you're so famous for…"
"I like not having to be the mature one," Sirius said, and glared as Remus snorted. "Okay, perhaps that was a poor choice of words," he amended.
"Do you have your things?" Ron asked. Hermione nodded her head towards a trunk beside the fireplace. It had arrived minutes after she had.
"It's a bit heavy," Hermione replied.
"Not a problem," Remus replied, standing up and levitating her trunk behind him as he traveled upstairs. "Which room?" he asked.
"Last room on the right," Ron called.
"Where's Ginny?" Hermione asked curiously. She enjoyed Ginny's company, and found they had a lot more in common than Hermione originally had thought.
"Mom is having her stay with Charlie for a few weeks," Ron said, a look on his face warning Hermione not to ask any further questions for the moment. She nodded faintly at the unspoken message and watched as Sirius and Remus gave each other wry looks as they passed on the stairs.
"I miss the bow already," Remus muttered, his voice echoing down the hallway as he placed Hermione's trunk in Ginny's room. Sirius' eyes darkened at the final insult. "It was your color."
"Watch it, Moony, or I may decide to include you in my retaliation simply because you enjoyed it entirely too much," Sirius called loudly. Harry snorted.
"I've never seen him laugh so hard," Harry observed. Hermione noted how weak his voice still sounded, and suppressed a sigh. She dearly wanted to hex those monstrous Dursleys on sight.
"Let the games begin," Hermione announced formally at Sirius' expression. She knew plotting when she saw it. A gauntlet had been thrown, and all eyes in the room turned to her with varying degrees of understanding. Harry knew her Muggle reference, of course. Perhaps Remus would as well. The others certainly understood the implications. Things were about to get interesting at the Weasley house.
Remus returned downstairs and sat in the chair across from Harry, his long legs propped up on the coffee table. Hermione unconsciously glanced to see if Mrs. Weasley was nearby, for she would have a fit if she saw feet on the table. Remus must have seen the look, for he lifted his legs off and gave a shrug.
'Hey, I'm a bachelor,' his expression seemed to say. 'Things like coasters and napkins and nutritional meals don't count in this equation.' Hermione rolled her eyes and looked significantly at Sirius. Remus barked a laugh, which he quickly covered with a cough behind his hand. Sirius appeared to not notice.
"So when shall we tell them about the Marauders? Before or after?" Ron asked curiously.
"After," Harry, Ron and Remus said in unison. Sirius snickered. Hermione laughed.
*************************
Harry finally drifted off to sleep after dinner. Ron took the opportunity to explain what had been happening since arriving at the Burrow. He'd been without the Dreamless Sleep potion now for five long days, and each night his dreams worsened. Ron explained how Harry couldn't take the potion every night, so he'd been forced to just work through it. That wasn't working smashingly well, needless to say.
Madam Pomfrey was unsure if Harry's tremors and chills were due to his strange connection with You Know Who nearing full strength or his constant exposure to the Unforgivable Curses that You Know Who inflicted. Ron described in painfully vivid detail some of the times in the last week and a half he'd been forced to shake his friend awake, desperately calling his name and trying to break whatever hold You Know Who had on him.
"Mum's dying to fatten him up," Ron said after a long, companionable silence.
"Well, we can work on plumping him up a bit too," Hermione offered.
"Do you think he even realizes it's his birthday tomorrow?" Ron asked after a moment. Hermione sighed.
"I doubt it. But I gather that everyone is agreed that he *never* has to go back, right?" Hermione asked. Ron nodded. "So, from this birthday on, he'll get to celebrate the way he always should have," she stated firmly. Ron nodded.
"I'm worried about him, Hermione," Ron said solemnly. "I always knew how dangerous things were, but… things changed horribly for Harry when Cedric died, and I can't for the life of me figure out how to help him through it," he said, startling Hermione with his candor and observation. She'd noticed much of the same thing herself, but would never have dreamed it possible for Ron to recognize that kind of… pain? Fracture? Whatever it was, it had changed Harry.
"I am worried, too. Here's a good thought to go to bed on, though: Your mum will fatten him up, the twins will cheer him up, you and I will buck him up, and Sirius and Lupin will help give him what he's never had… a connection to his parents. It's enough, Ron," Hermione said encouragingly. "Come on, let's see how the rest of your family is doing," she said, and together they followed the laughing voices who were busy preparing for tomorrow's celebration.
Kate the Great: Yeah, you're right. I promise to work harder at deAmericanizing my dialogue. Heck, that's half the charm, isn't it? As for Sirius… Keep reading! Thanks for all your kind reviews! By the way, you get a prize as well for noticing the math for Hermione's parents anniversary… 8-)
Japangirlcarley24: Blush Thank you very much!
Venus4280: Thank you, I appreciate that. I like Percy's character. He doesn't strike me as cruel, just insecure and a bit clueless. I agree with the healing timeline. That's why I had the actual physical abuse itself healed with the potions. Of course they'd use it where they could, but I wanted to show that not everything can heal by the next day. More Ron on the way…
Phoenix, Lynx, lothey, Sailor Sol, kaydee, Lady FoxFire, Harriet, and Tanya: Thank you SO MUCH for reviewing! I treasure all your input.
Nicky: LOL! Kill Fudge! We should all be so lucky!
Lilahp: You were my 100th reviewer!!! Yippee! Thank you so much! giggle
Author's Note: Well, everyone seemed so excited by the Prank Wars, that I felt I had to commence. Hope you enjoy! Thanks again for reading!
Chapter 9
Hermione Granger only partially succeeded in looking dignified as she stepped out of the Weasleys' fireplace and into their living room, but as it was, she needn't have worried. She paused for a moment, brushing the soot off of her jeans, and looked around to view an intriguing sight. Remus Lupin was literally howling with laughter, barely supporting himself on the side of the couch with one trembling arm. The other was wrapped around his stomach.
Fred and George were peeking out the kitchen door wearing equally satisfied expressions. Ron was laughing so hard he was snorting, and even Harry had a wide smile on his face as they all stared at the delicate looking miniature black poodle with blue eyes and a hot pink bow on top of it's head. It looked around in bewilderment, then growled as Professor Lupin finally toppled in fits of glee, resting his back against the side of the couch as tears streamed down his face. His hoots came out in struggling gasps.
"I have to stop! I can't breathe!..." he wheezed. "I haven't laughed this hard in decades!"
"Well done, old chap," Fred said in the doorway, only his head visible, making it appear as if it was hovering on its own, to George. George was further in the room, but held on to the doorframe as if he were ready to launch away should the dog choose to chase him.
"Indeed, my dear Fred. Indeed," George said in the most dignified accent he could muster.
"We'll have to rename you now, Padfoot. Perhaps Twinkle Toes would be more appropriate?" Remus asked, then fell completely on his side. "Oh! My side! I need a potion!" Lupin exclaimed, and the little poodle growled fiercely, then barked. Actually, he tried to bark, but it came out as more of a yipping sound. The dog paused and appeared shocked he'd made that noise. Hermione could have sworn he looked embarrassed, then turned on his heal and headed upstairs.
Hermione took this moment to internalize what was going on. The twins had to have played a joke on Sirius, turning him into the aforementioned poodle. She felt her own confused smile broaden with the realization, watching Sirius' expression of disgust as he struggled to leap up each step due to its height compared to his own. Every now and again he'd glare between the wooden slats of the banister and growl. It was really a cute growl.
"You blokes have blown it now!" Ron said as he watched Sirius depart. Fred and George now sauntered into the living room, still glowing with self- satisfaction.
"I'm quaking. You'll protect me, won't you, Fred?" George asked, placing a trembling sleeve on Fred's shoulder.
"Stand back, George. I'll save the day!" Fred cried, leaping up in the air and landing with his legs widely apart, one arm in front of him, palm facing forward. Hermione knew it from the movies as a typical hero's stance, but she had no idea where the twins could have picked it up.
Lupin had finally stopped laughing and was sitting up again, wiping at the tears on his face and shaking his head, his face years younger with the grin he still held. "Oh, you laugh now, children, but you really should have heeded his warning," he said. Ron nodded, and finally turned his attention to the fireplace.
"Hermione!" Ron said happily, and headed towards her. Harry had been lying on the couch Lupin now leaned against, propped up with pillows. Harry's head snapped in her direction and his face lit up into a smile as he too saw her.
"Hey, Hermione!" Harry said, his eyes still twinkling from earlier. Hermione walked across the room and gave Harry a big hug. She took advantage of his shy surprise at the hug to assess her other best friend's condition.
Harry had lost a great deal of weight. That much was obvious as she felt his shoulder blades sticking out painfully. He looked more like he did first year than he did last year, although his eyes, even bright with mirth, were shadowed and solemn. He had an old man's eyes peeking out of a young boy's face. His skin was cool and clammy to the touch, and she could feel the unsteadiness of his arms as he hugged her back. The paleness of his skin was stark contrast against his raven black hair. All in all, he didn't look good. As Hermione pulled away, Mrs. Weasley came into the room with her arms opened wide.
"Hermione! Good to see you, child. How has your summer been?" she asked, bustling Hermione into a warm embrace of her own. Hermione and Ron locked eyes for a moment. She looked into his eyes for answers, and instead saw grave concern. He twisted his lips into a reassuring smile, but Hermione knew things were not well.
"Fine, Mrs. Weasley. Mom and dad are off for a few weeks now. Dad threatened to renew their vows, so I'm looking forward to hearing what happens," Hermione said with a shake of the head. Her parents were still incurably romantic, and her dad liked to do silly, thoughtful things for no reason at all. Hermione remembered when her father had taken her, just her, to Paris when she was eight.
"I wanted you to see the most romantic city in the world with a man who will always love you," he'd told Hermione solemnly as they stood at the base of the Eiffel Tower, straining to see the top. Hermione smiled at the misty look that Mrs. Weasley now wore on her face. Hermione suspected Mrs. Weasley had never met a wedding she didn't cry at.
"That's just lovely," Mrs. Weasley exclaimed with a soft voice, then cleared her throat and glanced around at the remaining boys in the room (and Professor Lupin) and quickly bustled back into the kitchen. Hermione could have sworn she heard Mrs. Weasley muttering about wishing Ginny would return just to have three women in the Weasley household, even if for just a few weeks. She smiled and turned her attention back to her friends.
Hermione gave Ron a quick hug (he fidgeted ridiculously, but she squeezed tight nonetheless), then walked over and kneeled beside Professor Lupin, hugging him fiercely.
"Thank you so much, Professor," Hermione said with feeling. Professor Lupin blinked at the intensity, and she saw his eyes darken for a moment before he hugged her back.
"Harry's lucky to have friends like you two," Professor Lupin replied. "Please, call me Remus," he amended and raised an eyebrow in irony. Hermione wondered how often he'd said that particular phrase recently.
"I hope I get a hug like that, too," Sirius said from the stairs. Hermione laughed at Harry's godfather, who was coming down the stairs pulling a hot pink bow in annoyance out of his hair. In an instant, the twins shrieked with laughter and fled the house. "Run, but you can't hide," he muttered to no one in particular, and Hermione watched Harry shake his head.
"They have no idea what they're in for," Harry said with a smile. "I guess I'll get to see that Marauder madness you're so famous for…"
"I like not having to be the mature one," Sirius said, and glared as Remus snorted. "Okay, perhaps that was a poor choice of words," he amended.
"Do you have your things?" Ron asked. Hermione nodded her head towards a trunk beside the fireplace. It had arrived minutes after she had.
"It's a bit heavy," Hermione replied.
"Not a problem," Remus replied, standing up and levitating her trunk behind him as he traveled upstairs. "Which room?" he asked.
"Last room on the right," Ron called.
"Where's Ginny?" Hermione asked curiously. She enjoyed Ginny's company, and found they had a lot more in common than Hermione originally had thought.
"Mom is having her stay with Charlie for a few weeks," Ron said, a look on his face warning Hermione not to ask any further questions for the moment. She nodded faintly at the unspoken message and watched as Sirius and Remus gave each other wry looks as they passed on the stairs.
"I miss the bow already," Remus muttered, his voice echoing down the hallway as he placed Hermione's trunk in Ginny's room. Sirius' eyes darkened at the final insult. "It was your color."
"Watch it, Moony, or I may decide to include you in my retaliation simply because you enjoyed it entirely too much," Sirius called loudly. Harry snorted.
"I've never seen him laugh so hard," Harry observed. Hermione noted how weak his voice still sounded, and suppressed a sigh. She dearly wanted to hex those monstrous Dursleys on sight.
"Let the games begin," Hermione announced formally at Sirius' expression. She knew plotting when she saw it. A gauntlet had been thrown, and all eyes in the room turned to her with varying degrees of understanding. Harry knew her Muggle reference, of course. Perhaps Remus would as well. The others certainly understood the implications. Things were about to get interesting at the Weasley house.
Remus returned downstairs and sat in the chair across from Harry, his long legs propped up on the coffee table. Hermione unconsciously glanced to see if Mrs. Weasley was nearby, for she would have a fit if she saw feet on the table. Remus must have seen the look, for he lifted his legs off and gave a shrug.
'Hey, I'm a bachelor,' his expression seemed to say. 'Things like coasters and napkins and nutritional meals don't count in this equation.' Hermione rolled her eyes and looked significantly at Sirius. Remus barked a laugh, which he quickly covered with a cough behind his hand. Sirius appeared to not notice.
"So when shall we tell them about the Marauders? Before or after?" Ron asked curiously.
"After," Harry, Ron and Remus said in unison. Sirius snickered. Hermione laughed.
*************************
Harry finally drifted off to sleep after dinner. Ron took the opportunity to explain what had been happening since arriving at the Burrow. He'd been without the Dreamless Sleep potion now for five long days, and each night his dreams worsened. Ron explained how Harry couldn't take the potion every night, so he'd been forced to just work through it. That wasn't working smashingly well, needless to say.
Madam Pomfrey was unsure if Harry's tremors and chills were due to his strange connection with You Know Who nearing full strength or his constant exposure to the Unforgivable Curses that You Know Who inflicted. Ron described in painfully vivid detail some of the times in the last week and a half he'd been forced to shake his friend awake, desperately calling his name and trying to break whatever hold You Know Who had on him.
"Mum's dying to fatten him up," Ron said after a long, companionable silence.
"Well, we can work on plumping him up a bit too," Hermione offered.
"Do you think he even realizes it's his birthday tomorrow?" Ron asked after a moment. Hermione sighed.
"I doubt it. But I gather that everyone is agreed that he *never* has to go back, right?" Hermione asked. Ron nodded. "So, from this birthday on, he'll get to celebrate the way he always should have," she stated firmly. Ron nodded.
"I'm worried about him, Hermione," Ron said solemnly. "I always knew how dangerous things were, but… things changed horribly for Harry when Cedric died, and I can't for the life of me figure out how to help him through it," he said, startling Hermione with his candor and observation. She'd noticed much of the same thing herself, but would never have dreamed it possible for Ron to recognize that kind of… pain? Fracture? Whatever it was, it had changed Harry.
"I am worried, too. Here's a good thought to go to bed on, though: Your mum will fatten him up, the twins will cheer him up, you and I will buck him up, and Sirius and Lupin will help give him what he's never had… a connection to his parents. It's enough, Ron," Hermione said encouragingly. "Come on, let's see how the rest of your family is doing," she said, and together they followed the laughing voices who were busy preparing for tomorrow's celebration.