Chapter 13: Hot To Trot
Saturday Severus decided to call Hermione and Harry in to consult. He wanted to find clothes more suited to ballroom dancing, rehash the whole previous evening, and catch up on the research that he was assigning himself.
"It was very strange. She wanted to pay for her own meal, Why was that? I suggested the activity, and nearly begged her for help finding a suitable spot. She did me a great favor."
"Hermione, come over here and translate for the Professor. If you want to know what women are thinking, 'Uncle', Hermione is the one to ask." Harry depended on Hermione still to clarify the womanly mysteries, since he never had any family of his own to help bridge the gender gap.
"This is a topic that would require more time than we have, Professor. I will draw up a program of studies for you on Feminism since 1960, and its roots in the Civil Rights Movement in the United States, the Suffragist in the previous century; in fact, an overview of the history of the American political developments since European colonization would be a good idea, especially if you are keeping company with an ex-pat." Hermione started drawing up a reading list. "I will bring over some titles from my own collection. But we must take you over to the British Library at Saint Pancras in Eustace Road and familiarize you with it. You are not asking simple questions, and there is a lot of background to cover." She sighed. "In a way, I wish I had been born into the Magical world. There are few rigid roles for witches and wizards. Muggles don't even have sports that permit men and women on the same teams, although there is an occasional woman who tries to get on a men's team nowadays. Muggle men are very concerned with dominating everyone around them: male, female, young, old, the animals, even the machines. Changes are happening, but progress is slow and there is frequent backsliding. There are great differences between different age groups, too, and your lady friend is right in the middle, neither old-fashioned fish nor fancy new fowl. It sounds to me like she has had some rough times with men in her life. She is one of the "walking wounded" in the War Between the Sexes."
Severus contemplated the previous evening's events in light of this perspective later. He had spent most of the afternoon at the library, staying until closing. He could see why Hermione brought him there: the place was enormous. He would be spending several hours there each weekend after cooking classes, he knew. Then he met Harry and Hermione for dinner and shopping. They went off at 9 pm, and he surfed the Internet into the early morning hours.
And so his new undercover life developed: dancing lessons and dinner with Rose or the Oldhams and their friends on Friday nights, Saturday morning cooking classes followed by lunch and research at the British Library, Sunday mornings with the Muggle newspapers, Apparate back to Hogwarts after a late lunch. Severus had developed a nodding acquaintance with other tenants in his building. He had even asked Rose to educate him in the popular culture, and they would either watch old films on videotape, or attend live performances of varied types after dinner on Saturday. The best by far had been "Sweeney Todd". Severus identified strongly with Benjamin Barker as the vengeful and betrayed barber. He had blushed at the poetry in "Carmina Burana". He was finding Mondays very shocking after such stimulating weekends. Potions classes were becoming more painful than ever, now that he had some idea of the challenges that his young students would face coming to détente with the Muggle world. The days of fighting and spying on Voldemort may have been brutal and exhausting and dangerous, but they were in many ways much simpler than his present assignment. He also had an itch to experiment with some of the Muggle advances he discovered in the biochemistry field.
"Severus, I wonder if you could spare me a few minutes and report on your weekends in London," Albus stood, hand on the Potions Lab doorknob. It was Wednesday, and classes were over for the day.
"Certainly, Headmaster," Severus conjured a chair for Dumbledore. "In the past 4 weekends I have made the acquaintance of seven Muggles and started remedial research into the Muggle world at the British Library. I can also waltz, polka, and foxtrot. I am becoming familiar with several of the neighborhoods in the vicinity of the flat. And this weekend I am attending a Halloween party, Muggle style, in costume of some sort. I thought I might go in wizard attire, with a Weasley joke wand, perhaps, to prevent accidents." The entire concept of Halloween was an amazing muddle of Muggle fantasy about magic, details from long ago, when the two worlds lived side by side, and the rampant commercialism that Severus still found distasteful. "Hermione says that I am improving each week at passing for native. I can use several items of Muggle technology, including the Internet, the telephone, the Underground, the calculator and the ballpoint pen. I can negotiate taxis, restaurants, and shops, and prepare simple meals Muggle style. What I have not yet managed is to discover how there can be any meeting between the two worlds."
"Which topics have you investigated?"
"History mostly: political movements, the expansion of ideas and knowledge, the path the Muggles followed after the Decree of Secrecy took effect, especially the Americans, who dominate the world today in many respects. And I have a second area of research: I am studying the progress in science since the days of alchemy. I am attending a conference the weekend after next on various diseases and the treatments recently developed. It is a pity that Poppy and her counterparts cannot compare notes. Especially in the area of brain chemistry our two worlds could generate considerable synergy. Our cultures, though, are so different, that finding common starting points for dialog and negotiation is going to be very difficult."
"I see. Have you any other impressions?"
Severus thought over the tremendous amount of detail he had observed and investigated in a few short weeks. Then he thought over the people he had met. "It might be helpful if I knew more of what the Ministry had in mind. There are so many Muggles, and they are all so specialized in their educations and responsibilities, that I am unlikely to meet the relevant people without making a considerable effort."
"As to that, the Minister would like to accompany you this weekend. A party might be the perfect milieu for Arthur Weasley to observe for himself the progress of his project."
Severus was suddenly petrified with fear. The Minister was like a poorly trained dog. He would be jumping up on the Muggles, shedding and drooling, rolling in stinks, and romping about. I would look boring and normal next to Arthur, he thought, and felt a strange sense of relief. There is a silver lining to every cloud.
Saturday Severus decided to call Hermione and Harry in to consult. He wanted to find clothes more suited to ballroom dancing, rehash the whole previous evening, and catch up on the research that he was assigning himself.
"It was very strange. She wanted to pay for her own meal, Why was that? I suggested the activity, and nearly begged her for help finding a suitable spot. She did me a great favor."
"Hermione, come over here and translate for the Professor. If you want to know what women are thinking, 'Uncle', Hermione is the one to ask." Harry depended on Hermione still to clarify the womanly mysteries, since he never had any family of his own to help bridge the gender gap.
"This is a topic that would require more time than we have, Professor. I will draw up a program of studies for you on Feminism since 1960, and its roots in the Civil Rights Movement in the United States, the Suffragist in the previous century; in fact, an overview of the history of the American political developments since European colonization would be a good idea, especially if you are keeping company with an ex-pat." Hermione started drawing up a reading list. "I will bring over some titles from my own collection. But we must take you over to the British Library at Saint Pancras in Eustace Road and familiarize you with it. You are not asking simple questions, and there is a lot of background to cover." She sighed. "In a way, I wish I had been born into the Magical world. There are few rigid roles for witches and wizards. Muggles don't even have sports that permit men and women on the same teams, although there is an occasional woman who tries to get on a men's team nowadays. Muggle men are very concerned with dominating everyone around them: male, female, young, old, the animals, even the machines. Changes are happening, but progress is slow and there is frequent backsliding. There are great differences between different age groups, too, and your lady friend is right in the middle, neither old-fashioned fish nor fancy new fowl. It sounds to me like she has had some rough times with men in her life. She is one of the "walking wounded" in the War Between the Sexes."
Severus contemplated the previous evening's events in light of this perspective later. He had spent most of the afternoon at the library, staying until closing. He could see why Hermione brought him there: the place was enormous. He would be spending several hours there each weekend after cooking classes, he knew. Then he met Harry and Hermione for dinner and shopping. They went off at 9 pm, and he surfed the Internet into the early morning hours.
And so his new undercover life developed: dancing lessons and dinner with Rose or the Oldhams and their friends on Friday nights, Saturday morning cooking classes followed by lunch and research at the British Library, Sunday mornings with the Muggle newspapers, Apparate back to Hogwarts after a late lunch. Severus had developed a nodding acquaintance with other tenants in his building. He had even asked Rose to educate him in the popular culture, and they would either watch old films on videotape, or attend live performances of varied types after dinner on Saturday. The best by far had been "Sweeney Todd". Severus identified strongly with Benjamin Barker as the vengeful and betrayed barber. He had blushed at the poetry in "Carmina Burana". He was finding Mondays very shocking after such stimulating weekends. Potions classes were becoming more painful than ever, now that he had some idea of the challenges that his young students would face coming to détente with the Muggle world. The days of fighting and spying on Voldemort may have been brutal and exhausting and dangerous, but they were in many ways much simpler than his present assignment. He also had an itch to experiment with some of the Muggle advances he discovered in the biochemistry field.
"Severus, I wonder if you could spare me a few minutes and report on your weekends in London," Albus stood, hand on the Potions Lab doorknob. It was Wednesday, and classes were over for the day.
"Certainly, Headmaster," Severus conjured a chair for Dumbledore. "In the past 4 weekends I have made the acquaintance of seven Muggles and started remedial research into the Muggle world at the British Library. I can also waltz, polka, and foxtrot. I am becoming familiar with several of the neighborhoods in the vicinity of the flat. And this weekend I am attending a Halloween party, Muggle style, in costume of some sort. I thought I might go in wizard attire, with a Weasley joke wand, perhaps, to prevent accidents." The entire concept of Halloween was an amazing muddle of Muggle fantasy about magic, details from long ago, when the two worlds lived side by side, and the rampant commercialism that Severus still found distasteful. "Hermione says that I am improving each week at passing for native. I can use several items of Muggle technology, including the Internet, the telephone, the Underground, the calculator and the ballpoint pen. I can negotiate taxis, restaurants, and shops, and prepare simple meals Muggle style. What I have not yet managed is to discover how there can be any meeting between the two worlds."
"Which topics have you investigated?"
"History mostly: political movements, the expansion of ideas and knowledge, the path the Muggles followed after the Decree of Secrecy took effect, especially the Americans, who dominate the world today in many respects. And I have a second area of research: I am studying the progress in science since the days of alchemy. I am attending a conference the weekend after next on various diseases and the treatments recently developed. It is a pity that Poppy and her counterparts cannot compare notes. Especially in the area of brain chemistry our two worlds could generate considerable synergy. Our cultures, though, are so different, that finding common starting points for dialog and negotiation is going to be very difficult."
"I see. Have you any other impressions?"
Severus thought over the tremendous amount of detail he had observed and investigated in a few short weeks. Then he thought over the people he had met. "It might be helpful if I knew more of what the Ministry had in mind. There are so many Muggles, and they are all so specialized in their educations and responsibilities, that I am unlikely to meet the relevant people without making a considerable effort."
"As to that, the Minister would like to accompany you this weekend. A party might be the perfect milieu for Arthur Weasley to observe for himself the progress of his project."
Severus was suddenly petrified with fear. The Minister was like a poorly trained dog. He would be jumping up on the Muggles, shedding and drooling, rolling in stinks, and romping about. I would look boring and normal next to Arthur, he thought, and felt a strange sense of relief. There is a silver lining to every cloud.