CHAPTER 18: Graduation+ + + + + +
For the rest of the week, life went on pretty much as normal for the residents of Acme Acres. The Tiny Toons' finals were over, and they were able to finally begin winding down as their graduation day arrived. And yet, even after spending several years at the Loo, the toons all still looked as young and lively as ever, even as they donned their blue graduation robes.
"This is the coolest ever!" Buster commented with great excitement to the others. There were cheers and applauses of agreement as they all talked excitedly amongst themselves. They all stood waiting inside a windowed hallway in the Looniversity, to be ushered out to in front of the bleachers where they would receive their diplomas. The toons looked through the glass to the assembled attendants: parents, family, and friends were all there, gathered for the momentous occasion of the graduation of the Tiny Toons from Acme Looniversity. The Looniversity professors stood alongside the platform, dressed in black robes, looking very distinguished and proud. However, to the close observer, traces of melancholy could be seen on some of their faces.
Nervous anxiety and barely contained excitement ripped first one way, than the other through the group of Tiny Toons as they giggled and snickered with each other in anticipation, so much so that Elmer Fudd's harsh whisper to be quiet had to be repeated several times. "Aw wight, you kids! Qwiet! Come on, now. It's time to go out. Remember to look pwofessional and nice. You are wepwesenting the Woo and your mentors. Now make your pawests pwoud, just wike you make us."
The toons were led outside from the hallway to the raised platform positioned in front of the bleachers. The toons glanced cautiously to the assemblage, picking out their parents or friends they had invited. Some of the audience members waved back at the toons, causing a few to squirm and get jostled by the other Tiny Toons.
Elmer returned to his place back in line with the rest of the mentors, as Bugs left to take his place upon the platform. He shuffled over to the microphone which had been placed at its center.
"We is gathered here today to honor da graduation of sixteen of da finest students to ever pass through da doorways of Acme Looniversity--da Tiny Toons. For da past several years, these fine students have, at times, tried our patience, insisting on blowing da roof off da gymnasium, toining da entire foist floor into a swinnin' pool, and dropping pianos from da clock tower."
The audience laughed softly as Bugs spoke, the Tiny Toons snickering and some trying to hide behind others as their particular deeds were uncovered.
"But threw it all," Bugs continued, "they have proven that they are da very essence of cartoon comedy. We send dis class of toons out into da world today, armed with their unique gifts, strength, and fortitude to make their own decisions in life, to make themselves and our world da best they cam be!"
One by one, Bugs called out the names of the Tiny Toons, and one by one, they solemnly walked over to meet him: Sneezer Mouse, excelling in comedic slapstick and world languages; Calamity Coyote, graduate of explosives, engineering, and physical sciences; Fifi La Fume, world languages, visual gags and biology; Hamton J. Pig, Life Sciences, and comedic side-kicks studies; Elmyra Duff, excelling in toon biology, anatomy, animal and behavioral sciences; Montana Max, economics, evil villains--accelerated program, and calculus; Shirley The Loon, metaphysics, physical sciences major, and the only toon to receive certificate of achievement in psychic abilities; Plucky Duck, Athletics and Sociology; Babs Bunny, Music, Sociology, and excelling in wild takes and advanced physical comedy; Buster Bunny, graduate of cartoon physics, general comedy, animal sciences, advanced humor studies, and majoring in both visual and spontaneous gag comedy, and of course all the rest.
Bugs handed each one his or her diplomas and greeted them with a firm handshake while the audience looked on, clapping for each toon, myriad of camera flashes lit up the scene. When the last Tiny Toon had received his diploma Bugs turned back to the audience.
"Assembled guests, parents, fellow mentors, and friends. I give you da class of two thousand and one!"
A tremendous cheer went up from the audience, accompanied by sixteen emery boards flying high into the blue sky, their gold tassels streaming wildly behind them through the air.
+ + + + + +
North and west of the Looniversity, in a large brick mansion, Skippy and Fluffy were lying sprawled out on the floor, a checkerboard laid out between them. Checkers, as it turned out, was a game that was well suited to the large jack rabbit, as it requires no reading, but only strategy. And, its logic is nowhere near as demanding and complex as say, chess, a game that despite his kind heart and honest intentions, Fluffy would never have the brain power to comprehend.
"King me!" Skippy exclaimed, suddenly perking up from the relatively glum expression he had been developing over the past week. He pushed his black checker to the opposite site of the board.
"Humph," Fluffy grunted contemptuously. "Rotten little bugger."
Skippy puffed his chest out proudly. "Just try and win now, rabbit!"
Fluffy muttered something only a rabbit could understand and gently pushed one of his red checkers with his paw. Still caught up him his king-ness, Skippy made his next move, capturing another of Fluffy's checkers.
"I say! Stop that!" Fluffy protested, cuffing Skippy playfully on the side, and sending the brown squirrel into a giggle fit.
Fluffy eyed the little scamp of a squirrel. He was happy to see his young playmate smiling again. However, with a crooked little smirk on his face, he decided the little ruffian needed to be taught a lesson in checkers. He pushed one of his checkers, also a king, in line between two of Skippy's, putting himself in a position to take at least three of Skippy's checkers no matter what move Skippy made. "There now, lad," he said smartly. "Bit of a spot you're in, wot?"
Skippy's eyes dropped down to eye the predicament on the board while Fluffy chuckled softly. "Hey," Skippy said accusingly. "No fair!"
Fluffy only smiled back and shrugged innocently. Skippy grumbled and slid a checker away from Fluffy's.
"So what are you going to do with yourself all summer, Skippy?" Fluffy asked, awkwardly lifting his checker with his paw and jumping over several of Skippy's checkers.
"Well, I'm not going to spend it losing at checkers to a rabbit!" he remarked grumpily as he watched a large white paw sweep three of his checkers off the board. Fluffy looked over at Skippy, a bit hurt at his remark. "Just kidding," Skippy admitted, abandoning the game and crawling over to give Fluffy a friendly hug. "I like having someone to play with."
"Your uncle often says the same thing to me," Fluffy commented.
Skippy began putting the checkerboard away. "When do you think he'll be back?" he asked, not expecting the rabbit to know, but just needing someone to ask.
"Oh, I expect he should be back soon." Fluffy rolled over and stretched his large hind legs into the air. "What do you say I take you down the park and get you a walnut ice cream?"
"Weelll," Skippy pondered, "okay!" He returned the checkers and board to their box and walked over to Fluffy's side. The rabbit stood up, out of reach for Skippy to mount him.
"Hey, C'mon," the young squirrel protested.
"Ah-ah-ah," Fluffy chided. "Bridle."
Skippy persisted. "But I don't need that to ride you. You know the way."
"It's for your safety, lad. You need something to hold on to besides my collar. Besides, it's your aunt and uncle's order. That's why your uncle has been riding me with it lately--so I can get into practice again."
Skippy stuffed his paws in his pockets and kicked at the carpet. "He doesn't need a bridle to ride you."
"No, he doesn't," Fluffy snapped, "but he's also a lot bigger than you, lad... wouldn't be much of a fall for him--if he ever were to fall. Now, I'm not going to argue this with you anymore. Yes..." Fluffy paused, seeming to search the ceiling for the correct words. "That's it, I believe... yes. I'm putting my foot down." There was a loud thud as Fluffy carried out his declaration and the floor shook from the impact of his right hind foot upon it.
Skippy reluctantly went over and took Fluffy's bridle down from where it hung from a peg on the wall. Fluffy bowed his head and Skippy fastened the bridle on him. "I just feel guilty making you wear it is all," he muttered, "especially now that you can talk and what you said..." He stopped himself and shrugged. "It seems... weird."
Fluffy's body shook with hearty laugher. "Lad," he chuckled. "In case this saddle I'm wearing has somehow escaped your notice, I'm a carousel animal, and I don't mind wearing it at all--especially when it keeps a good friend safe when he's riding me. 'Sides," he added a bit cheekily, "you don't seem to mind riding your uncle with one."
Caught by surprise, Skippy froze for a moment. "Well... that's different. He's my uncle." He giggled a bit awkwardly. "He gives my aunt Slappy rides to work all the time, but with you... everything seems more serious somehow--because its what you are I guess."
Fluffy shook his head. "We both do it for the same reasons, lad."
Skippy gazed up at Fluffy. "Are you sure?"
Fluffy gave Skippy a secretive wink. "Sure as grass is green," he said warmly, touching a paw to Skippy's cheek. "And, I could always talk, lad. You just couldn't hear me." With that, he knelt down and Skippy climbed aboard.
"Aunt Slappy," called Skippy, passing by her as she sat in one of the reading rooms, "me and Fluffy are going down to the park for a little while."
"Knock yourselves out," she called back, "but he back by five!"
"Okay, Aunt Slappy!"
Slappy glanced out the window next to her to see Skippy and Fluffy crossing the front yard. She gave a satisfied smile and returned to her explosives catalog. She picked up a large red marker and drew a circle around item #284, "Acme's extra-large assortment of black ball bombs. Loads of fun for all occasions. Quantity discounts available."
"So, em... Brain?"
"What is it, Pinky?"
"Was the experiment a success then?"
The Brain fixed Pinky with a hard, cold stare, the impact of which was completely lost on the simple-minded mouse. "No, Pinky," he sighed. "But fear not, for tomorrow night we shall endeavor yet again. I've been analyzing some very interesting trends in the marketing data of the Acme Corporation, and I believe we can..."
The Brain's words were cut off as Ed Puma grasped the two mice and placed them into a familiar metal cage. "Sorry, Brain," he began. "No experiments for you until you help us de-ionize lab room 3 from that little experiment of yours last week. You know the rules of the lab: you clean up what you make."
"Last week?" The Brain looked confused. "But... we were away for two weeks."
"Not according to our clocks, Mr. Mouse," Ed said casually, picking up the cage with the two mice in it and proceeding down a hallway. "Maybe you should go study up on the Earth time/Toon time differential graphs. It averaged 1.93 to 1 while you were, em... sight-seeing."
"Pinky," asked The Brain, turning to his cage-mate, "do you know what this means?"
"Em... it means we still have time to register for the super grand prize drawing for the shopping spree at the International House of Cheese?"
The Brain, caught off-guard, pondered for a moment. "Yes," he admitted, "but, it also means we have a whole new week to spend devising plans to take over the world!"
"Em... so that's what we're going to to tonight, Brain?" Pinky asked, hopefully.
"Yes!" The Brain said emphatically. Then, catching a stern look from the puma he added, "After we clean the lab."
For the rest of the week, life went on pretty much as normal for the residents of Acme Acres. The Tiny Toons' finals were over, and they were able to finally begin winding down as their graduation day arrived. And yet, even after spending several years at the Loo, the toons all still looked as young and lively as ever, even as they donned their blue graduation robes.
"This is the coolest ever!" Buster commented with great excitement to the others. There were cheers and applauses of agreement as they all talked excitedly amongst themselves. They all stood waiting inside a windowed hallway in the Looniversity, to be ushered out to in front of the bleachers where they would receive their diplomas. The toons looked through the glass to the assembled attendants: parents, family, and friends were all there, gathered for the momentous occasion of the graduation of the Tiny Toons from Acme Looniversity. The Looniversity professors stood alongside the platform, dressed in black robes, looking very distinguished and proud. However, to the close observer, traces of melancholy could be seen on some of their faces.
Nervous anxiety and barely contained excitement ripped first one way, than the other through the group of Tiny Toons as they giggled and snickered with each other in anticipation, so much so that Elmer Fudd's harsh whisper to be quiet had to be repeated several times. "Aw wight, you kids! Qwiet! Come on, now. It's time to go out. Remember to look pwofessional and nice. You are wepwesenting the Woo and your mentors. Now make your pawests pwoud, just wike you make us."
The toons were led outside from the hallway to the raised platform positioned in front of the bleachers. The toons glanced cautiously to the assemblage, picking out their parents or friends they had invited. Some of the audience members waved back at the toons, causing a few to squirm and get jostled by the other Tiny Toons.
Elmer returned to his place back in line with the rest of the mentors, as Bugs left to take his place upon the platform. He shuffled over to the microphone which had been placed at its center.
"We is gathered here today to honor da graduation of sixteen of da finest students to ever pass through da doorways of Acme Looniversity--da Tiny Toons. For da past several years, these fine students have, at times, tried our patience, insisting on blowing da roof off da gymnasium, toining da entire foist floor into a swinnin' pool, and dropping pianos from da clock tower."
The audience laughed softly as Bugs spoke, the Tiny Toons snickering and some trying to hide behind others as their particular deeds were uncovered.
"But threw it all," Bugs continued, "they have proven that they are da very essence of cartoon comedy. We send dis class of toons out into da world today, armed with their unique gifts, strength, and fortitude to make their own decisions in life, to make themselves and our world da best they cam be!"
One by one, Bugs called out the names of the Tiny Toons, and one by one, they solemnly walked over to meet him: Sneezer Mouse, excelling in comedic slapstick and world languages; Calamity Coyote, graduate of explosives, engineering, and physical sciences; Fifi La Fume, world languages, visual gags and biology; Hamton J. Pig, Life Sciences, and comedic side-kicks studies; Elmyra Duff, excelling in toon biology, anatomy, animal and behavioral sciences; Montana Max, economics, evil villains--accelerated program, and calculus; Shirley The Loon, metaphysics, physical sciences major, and the only toon to receive certificate of achievement in psychic abilities; Plucky Duck, Athletics and Sociology; Babs Bunny, Music, Sociology, and excelling in wild takes and advanced physical comedy; Buster Bunny, graduate of cartoon physics, general comedy, animal sciences, advanced humor studies, and majoring in both visual and spontaneous gag comedy, and of course all the rest.
Bugs handed each one his or her diplomas and greeted them with a firm handshake while the audience looked on, clapping for each toon, myriad of camera flashes lit up the scene. When the last Tiny Toon had received his diploma Bugs turned back to the audience.
"Assembled guests, parents, fellow mentors, and friends. I give you da class of two thousand and one!"
A tremendous cheer went up from the audience, accompanied by sixteen emery boards flying high into the blue sky, their gold tassels streaming wildly behind them through the air.
North and west of the Looniversity, in a large brick mansion, Skippy and Fluffy were lying sprawled out on the floor, a checkerboard laid out between them. Checkers, as it turned out, was a game that was well suited to the large jack rabbit, as it requires no reading, but only strategy. And, its logic is nowhere near as demanding and complex as say, chess, a game that despite his kind heart and honest intentions, Fluffy would never have the brain power to comprehend.
"King me!" Skippy exclaimed, suddenly perking up from the relatively glum expression he had been developing over the past week. He pushed his black checker to the opposite site of the board.
"Humph," Fluffy grunted contemptuously. "Rotten little bugger."
Skippy puffed his chest out proudly. "Just try and win now, rabbit!"
Fluffy muttered something only a rabbit could understand and gently pushed one of his red checkers with his paw. Still caught up him his king-ness, Skippy made his next move, capturing another of Fluffy's checkers.
"I say! Stop that!" Fluffy protested, cuffing Skippy playfully on the side, and sending the brown squirrel into a giggle fit.
Fluffy eyed the little scamp of a squirrel. He was happy to see his young playmate smiling again. However, with a crooked little smirk on his face, he decided the little ruffian needed to be taught a lesson in checkers. He pushed one of his checkers, also a king, in line between two of Skippy's, putting himself in a position to take at least three of Skippy's checkers no matter what move Skippy made. "There now, lad," he said smartly. "Bit of a spot you're in, wot?"
Skippy's eyes dropped down to eye the predicament on the board while Fluffy chuckled softly. "Hey," Skippy said accusingly. "No fair!"
Fluffy only smiled back and shrugged innocently. Skippy grumbled and slid a checker away from Fluffy's.
"So what are you going to do with yourself all summer, Skippy?" Fluffy asked, awkwardly lifting his checker with his paw and jumping over several of Skippy's checkers.
"Well, I'm not going to spend it losing at checkers to a rabbit!" he remarked grumpily as he watched a large white paw sweep three of his checkers off the board. Fluffy looked over at Skippy, a bit hurt at his remark. "Just kidding," Skippy admitted, abandoning the game and crawling over to give Fluffy a friendly hug. "I like having someone to play with."
"Your uncle often says the same thing to me," Fluffy commented.
Skippy began putting the checkerboard away. "When do you think he'll be back?" he asked, not expecting the rabbit to know, but just needing someone to ask.
"Oh, I expect he should be back soon." Fluffy rolled over and stretched his large hind legs into the air. "What do you say I take you down the park and get you a walnut ice cream?"
"Weelll," Skippy pondered, "okay!" He returned the checkers and board to their box and walked over to Fluffy's side. The rabbit stood up, out of reach for Skippy to mount him.
"Hey, C'mon," the young squirrel protested.
"Ah-ah-ah," Fluffy chided. "Bridle."
Skippy persisted. "But I don't need that to ride you. You know the way."
"It's for your safety, lad. You need something to hold on to besides my collar. Besides, it's your aunt and uncle's order. That's why your uncle has been riding me with it lately--so I can get into practice again."
Skippy stuffed his paws in his pockets and kicked at the carpet. "He doesn't need a bridle to ride you."
"No, he doesn't," Fluffy snapped, "but he's also a lot bigger than you, lad... wouldn't be much of a fall for him--if he ever were to fall. Now, I'm not going to argue this with you anymore. Yes..." Fluffy paused, seeming to search the ceiling for the correct words. "That's it, I believe... yes. I'm putting my foot down." There was a loud thud as Fluffy carried out his declaration and the floor shook from the impact of his right hind foot upon it.
Skippy reluctantly went over and took Fluffy's bridle down from where it hung from a peg on the wall. Fluffy bowed his head and Skippy fastened the bridle on him. "I just feel guilty making you wear it is all," he muttered, "especially now that you can talk and what you said..." He stopped himself and shrugged. "It seems... weird."
Fluffy's body shook with hearty laugher. "Lad," he chuckled. "In case this saddle I'm wearing has somehow escaped your notice, I'm a carousel animal, and I don't mind wearing it at all--especially when it keeps a good friend safe when he's riding me. 'Sides," he added a bit cheekily, "you don't seem to mind riding your uncle with one."
Caught by surprise, Skippy froze for a moment. "Well... that's different. He's my uncle." He giggled a bit awkwardly. "He gives my aunt Slappy rides to work all the time, but with you... everything seems more serious somehow--because its what you are I guess."
Fluffy shook his head. "We both do it for the same reasons, lad."
Skippy gazed up at Fluffy. "Are you sure?"
Fluffy gave Skippy a secretive wink. "Sure as grass is green," he said warmly, touching a paw to Skippy's cheek. "And, I could always talk, lad. You just couldn't hear me." With that, he knelt down and Skippy climbed aboard.
"Aunt Slappy," called Skippy, passing by her as she sat in one of the reading rooms, "me and Fluffy are going down to the park for a little while."
"Knock yourselves out," she called back, "but he back by five!"
"Okay, Aunt Slappy!"
Slappy glanced out the window next to her to see Skippy and Fluffy crossing the front yard. She gave a satisfied smile and returned to her explosives catalog. She picked up a large red marker and drew a circle around item #284, "Acme's extra-large assortment of black ball bombs. Loads of fun for all occasions. Quantity discounts available."