Buffy roamed the streets in the black of night suddenly realizing that she
had absolutely no plan. Dawn was right. How was she going to find someone
she wasn't even sure existed anymore without any leads? It's been six
months since Spike sacrificed himself to save the world. What if her dream
was only to give her a sense of closure? She couldn't think like that
though. She wasn't about to start doubting herself now. It wasn't just the
dream that was pushing her to do this. She had that gut instinct that
something wasn't quite right. She was never one to just sit around and do
nothing.
She thought back to the time when she had to investigate to find whether or not Spike was evil again. The first thing she did was look around in clubs or bars and ask the bouncers if they had seen him. It seemed like a logical place to start this time around too. There weren't a lot of places open in the middle of the night but she knew she wouldn't be able to rest until she found one.
She spotted a bar that was open 24 hours. She walked inside to find that it was a lot more crowded than she had suspected it to be. She walked over to the bar and took a seat. She wanted to see if she could get any information from the bartender. They were the ones who usually knew everything that went on with the people who come in and out of the bar on a regular basis.
"What can I get for you sweetie?" The bartender asked with his handsomest of smiles.
"Uh, actually, I just came here to see if I could get some information."
"All right. What can I do for you?" The bartender inquired, never losing his smile.
"I'm looking for someone. Have you seen or heard anything about a guy with bleach blond hair possibly wearing all black with cheekbones from heaven? Buffy asked Hopefully. "He sort of has that Billy Idol look."
"Yeah! I've seen a guy who could fit that description."
"You have?" Buffy eyes lit up.
"Yeah. He's sitting right over there." The bartender pointed to a table toward the back.
Buffy looked quickly to where a man with bleached hair and a leather jacket was sitting all by himself. She still couldn't make him out very well. Suddenly, as if she willed him to do so, he stood up and started to make his way toward the bar. To her disappointment, his face was hidden by shadows. As he got closer she held her breath and silently wished for a miracle but soon she realized that it was definitely not Spike. He was apparently much older. He walked past her and the bar and walked out into the night.
"So, was that who you were looking for?" The bartender interrupted her feelings of disappointment.
"No. That definitely wasn't him." Buffy answered. "Although, I think that guy actually WAS Billy Idol."
The bartender chuckled. "I think you're right. I'm just sorry I couldn't be more of a help."
"It's ok." Buffy said, forcing a smile. "I'll just keep on looking. I should have known that finding him in the first place I looked was too good to be true. Thanks anyway."
Buffy continued her search. She stopped at every bar and club that was open at such an ungodly hour. After 5 stops and 13 security guards later, the sun started to rise and Buffy decided to head home.
She had made absolutely no progress and hated the fact that she had to return home just to announce that she had found nothing. She couldn't bare the sympathetic looks on her friend's faces and the knowledge that every one of them thought what she was doing was completely crazy.
An idea suddenly struck her and she was stunned she hadn't thought of it before. She now knew what she needed to do.
"Willow?" Buffy called as she opened the door to their apartment.
"Buffy! You're back!" Willow greeted happily. "So, How did it go?"
"Not so good." Buffy admitted. "But that's where you come in." Willow sprinkled her magical concoction into a circle and sat in the middle of it. She had a world map in front of her, knowing that if Spike was alive, he could be just about anywhere. Buffy watched as Willow quietly chanted to herself with her eyes closed and a look of intensity on her face.
After several minutes, a bright florescent light illuminated the map but faded almost as quickly as it appeared. Willow let out an exaggerated sigh and she looked up at Buffy with a frown.
"What? What's wrong?" Buffy asked, panic apparent in her voice.
"It's not working Buffy. I'm sorry."
"Well, what does that mean? He's really not alive? My dream really was just a dream?" Buffy asked, tears forming in her eyes.
"Not exactly. I've done this kind of locator spell before and I'm getting a different vibe from this one. Something seems to be disrupting the spell. It's kind of like, if he is alive, he doesn't want to be found. I can't be certain but it feels like someone is trying to hide something. I'm so sorry Buffy. There's really nothing else that I can do." Willow bit her lip as she looked at her friend with the broken heart.
Buffy tossed and turned in her bed wondering where she went wrong. She knew something wasn't right. She just felt it. There had to be more to it than she was seeing. She refused to believe that she was losing her mind. This was much more than just missing him or wanting him to know how she really feels. They had a connection. She could feel it in her heart. She could feel it in her soul. She was missing something. She just had to find it.
"Buffy."
"Buffy."
Buffy opened her sleepy eyes to a deep soothing voice calling out her name. She sat up slightly to see Spike standing at the foot of her bed. The bright light of the moon was shining behind him, making him look like an angel.
She bolted upright and tried to settle her heart that was beating out of her chest.
"Spike? Please tell me it's really you."
"It's me, luv." Spike took a step toward her. "I feel like I've been waiting forever to see you again."
Buffy started breathing rapidly but when he sat down on the bed next to her, she could swear she stopped breathing completely. She looked into his eyes and his hand covered hers. He rubbed the top of her hand three times in slow circles before traveling up her arm. Light as a feather, his fingers reached her shoulder and ran up her neck. He touched her cheek and she closed her eyes feeling each and every caress with the greatest intensity.
Buffy opened her eyes and looked right into Spike's. "I'm glad you're here."
"So am I." Spike said in a whisper. "Too bad this isn't real."
"What?" Buffy asked with desperate fear in her voice.
"Buffy, you have to find me." Spike begged her.
"How? I don't know what to do. Tell me where you are." Buffy pleaded.
Spike wrapped his arms around her in a gentle embrace. Buffy held on tightly, never wanting to let go. Spike started to pull away but Buffy resisted. He gently rubbed her back before pulling back from her far enough to place a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Someone is keeping me from you, luv. If you find them, you'll find me." Spike slipped an arm around her waist and Buffy laid her head on his shoulder.
"Who is it, Spike? Who's keeping us apart?" Buffy's head left his shoulder and her eyes met his again.
"You have to figure it out, Buffy. You have to find me. Please find me. I can't live without you."
Spike slowly started fading away. Buffy desperately tried to keep a hold on him.
"Please don't leave me." Buffy said, trying to keep a grip on his arms.
Spike vanished and Buffy felt an enormous emptiness fill her entire being.
She opened her eyes and realized that she was still laying down, surrounded by her down comforter. It was just another dream but every second of it felt entirely real. She felt safe and warm as if he still had his arms around her.
She made up her mind then and there. Nothing was going to stop her from finding him. She believed with all her heart that he was out there somewhere. She didn't care if every person in the world thought she was delusional. She wasn't going to rest until he was back in her arms.
A lone tear rolled down her cheek. She spoke quietly to herself and to the heavens above, hoping someone out there would hear her.
"I miss you Spike and I will find you." She said as more tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. "I promise you, I'll find you if it's the last thing I do."
To Be Continued....
She thought back to the time when she had to investigate to find whether or not Spike was evil again. The first thing she did was look around in clubs or bars and ask the bouncers if they had seen him. It seemed like a logical place to start this time around too. There weren't a lot of places open in the middle of the night but she knew she wouldn't be able to rest until she found one.
She spotted a bar that was open 24 hours. She walked inside to find that it was a lot more crowded than she had suspected it to be. She walked over to the bar and took a seat. She wanted to see if she could get any information from the bartender. They were the ones who usually knew everything that went on with the people who come in and out of the bar on a regular basis.
"What can I get for you sweetie?" The bartender asked with his handsomest of smiles.
"Uh, actually, I just came here to see if I could get some information."
"All right. What can I do for you?" The bartender inquired, never losing his smile.
"I'm looking for someone. Have you seen or heard anything about a guy with bleach blond hair possibly wearing all black with cheekbones from heaven? Buffy asked Hopefully. "He sort of has that Billy Idol look."
"Yeah! I've seen a guy who could fit that description."
"You have?" Buffy eyes lit up.
"Yeah. He's sitting right over there." The bartender pointed to a table toward the back.
Buffy looked quickly to where a man with bleached hair and a leather jacket was sitting all by himself. She still couldn't make him out very well. Suddenly, as if she willed him to do so, he stood up and started to make his way toward the bar. To her disappointment, his face was hidden by shadows. As he got closer she held her breath and silently wished for a miracle but soon she realized that it was definitely not Spike. He was apparently much older. He walked past her and the bar and walked out into the night.
"So, was that who you were looking for?" The bartender interrupted her feelings of disappointment.
"No. That definitely wasn't him." Buffy answered. "Although, I think that guy actually WAS Billy Idol."
The bartender chuckled. "I think you're right. I'm just sorry I couldn't be more of a help."
"It's ok." Buffy said, forcing a smile. "I'll just keep on looking. I should have known that finding him in the first place I looked was too good to be true. Thanks anyway."
Buffy continued her search. She stopped at every bar and club that was open at such an ungodly hour. After 5 stops and 13 security guards later, the sun started to rise and Buffy decided to head home.
She had made absolutely no progress and hated the fact that she had to return home just to announce that she had found nothing. She couldn't bare the sympathetic looks on her friend's faces and the knowledge that every one of them thought what she was doing was completely crazy.
An idea suddenly struck her and she was stunned she hadn't thought of it before. She now knew what she needed to do.
"Willow?" Buffy called as she opened the door to their apartment.
"Buffy! You're back!" Willow greeted happily. "So, How did it go?"
"Not so good." Buffy admitted. "But that's where you come in." Willow sprinkled her magical concoction into a circle and sat in the middle of it. She had a world map in front of her, knowing that if Spike was alive, he could be just about anywhere. Buffy watched as Willow quietly chanted to herself with her eyes closed and a look of intensity on her face.
After several minutes, a bright florescent light illuminated the map but faded almost as quickly as it appeared. Willow let out an exaggerated sigh and she looked up at Buffy with a frown.
"What? What's wrong?" Buffy asked, panic apparent in her voice.
"It's not working Buffy. I'm sorry."
"Well, what does that mean? He's really not alive? My dream really was just a dream?" Buffy asked, tears forming in her eyes.
"Not exactly. I've done this kind of locator spell before and I'm getting a different vibe from this one. Something seems to be disrupting the spell. It's kind of like, if he is alive, he doesn't want to be found. I can't be certain but it feels like someone is trying to hide something. I'm so sorry Buffy. There's really nothing else that I can do." Willow bit her lip as she looked at her friend with the broken heart.
Buffy tossed and turned in her bed wondering where she went wrong. She knew something wasn't right. She just felt it. There had to be more to it than she was seeing. She refused to believe that she was losing her mind. This was much more than just missing him or wanting him to know how she really feels. They had a connection. She could feel it in her heart. She could feel it in her soul. She was missing something. She just had to find it.
"Buffy."
"Buffy."
Buffy opened her sleepy eyes to a deep soothing voice calling out her name. She sat up slightly to see Spike standing at the foot of her bed. The bright light of the moon was shining behind him, making him look like an angel.
She bolted upright and tried to settle her heart that was beating out of her chest.
"Spike? Please tell me it's really you."
"It's me, luv." Spike took a step toward her. "I feel like I've been waiting forever to see you again."
Buffy started breathing rapidly but when he sat down on the bed next to her, she could swear she stopped breathing completely. She looked into his eyes and his hand covered hers. He rubbed the top of her hand three times in slow circles before traveling up her arm. Light as a feather, his fingers reached her shoulder and ran up her neck. He touched her cheek and she closed her eyes feeling each and every caress with the greatest intensity.
Buffy opened her eyes and looked right into Spike's. "I'm glad you're here."
"So am I." Spike said in a whisper. "Too bad this isn't real."
"What?" Buffy asked with desperate fear in her voice.
"Buffy, you have to find me." Spike begged her.
"How? I don't know what to do. Tell me where you are." Buffy pleaded.
Spike wrapped his arms around her in a gentle embrace. Buffy held on tightly, never wanting to let go. Spike started to pull away but Buffy resisted. He gently rubbed her back before pulling back from her far enough to place a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Someone is keeping me from you, luv. If you find them, you'll find me." Spike slipped an arm around her waist and Buffy laid her head on his shoulder.
"Who is it, Spike? Who's keeping us apart?" Buffy's head left his shoulder and her eyes met his again.
"You have to figure it out, Buffy. You have to find me. Please find me. I can't live without you."
Spike slowly started fading away. Buffy desperately tried to keep a hold on him.
"Please don't leave me." Buffy said, trying to keep a grip on his arms.
Spike vanished and Buffy felt an enormous emptiness fill her entire being.
She opened her eyes and realized that she was still laying down, surrounded by her down comforter. It was just another dream but every second of it felt entirely real. She felt safe and warm as if he still had his arms around her.
She made up her mind then and there. Nothing was going to stop her from finding him. She believed with all her heart that he was out there somewhere. She didn't care if every person in the world thought she was delusional. She wasn't going to rest until he was back in her arms.
A lone tear rolled down her cheek. She spoke quietly to herself and to the heavens above, hoping someone out there would hear her.
"I miss you Spike and I will find you." She said as more tears rolled down her flushed cheeks. "I promise you, I'll find you if it's the last thing I do."
To Be Continued....