Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own the pretty boys. I only wish I did.
Spoilers: Uh… none that I can see.
Pairings: See for yourself! ^^;
Warnings: Shounen ai, basically. Oh, and character death.
Song: Great Big White World by Marilyn Manson
Notes: Er… okay. The idea for this fic just sort of came to me last night. Um, yeah. This is dedicated to Jessie for being a wonderful friend and for putting up with me! *huggles*
Drain Away
// In space the stars are no nearer
They just glitter like a morgue //
I think I loved you that day. You showed me that there was more to this world than my dead eyes were seeing. You gave me something I thought I'd never be capable of reaching again: hope. I suppose that was a shock to us both. I was not what you were expecting that day, was I? Saa… you surprised me, too. Imagine that. We weren't so different after all, were we?
// And I dreamed I was a spaceman
Burned like a moth in a flame //
It was more than just sex. We both knew that the instant we began tearing at each other's clothes, our façades slipping away into the abyss as we lost ourselves to each other. There was something in your eyes then, the way they pierced into mine. I could see inside you. I could see the pain you kept hidden from everyone but yourself for so long. I could see the guilt. Ah, yes. The guilt. I could see that most of all.
// And our world was so fucking gone //
The way your hands combed through my hair. The way you whispered those things into my ear, making me want you even more. The way you held me against you as you took me, your eyes lidded with passion. The way my name sounded on your lips when it was all too much for you, for the both of us. The way you fell asleep with me wrapped tightly in your arms. You looked so innocent then. So peaceful.
// But I'm not attached to your world
Nothing heals and nothing grows //
I know that if we'd have been given the chance, we would have continued to repeat that day again and again. No one else needed to know. We had each other, and that was all that mattered.
// Because it's a great big white world
And we are drained of our colors //
With you, everything seemed to fade away for me. I forgot about who I was, about how much hate I had buried deep within me. You made me feel as if there was actually something in this God forsaken world worth living for.
// We used to love ourselves
We used to love one another //
In battle we would avoid contact. Of course, that did not always work at times. It was never expected to, I suppose. We were enemies, after all. What else could we have done? Peace between Weiss and Schwarz was laughable. You said yourself that it was never meant to be. And so we did what needed to be done, loathing every second. After the battle we would go somewhere to kiss each other's wounds, mumbling words of apology as we lost ourselves in each other's tastes.
How convincing were we, I wonder?
// And hell was so cold
All the vases are so broken
And the roses tear our hands all open //
A good thing never lasts, though, does it? Iie. Not for a killer. I never deserved your love. I see that now.
// Mother Mary miscarry
But we pray just like insects //
'Aya?'
I feel a hand drop onto my shoulder. I do not look up. I cannot face him. It's too painful.
'Aya,' Youji whispers, tugging on my shoulder lightly. 'Come on. Let's go.'
// The world is so ugly now //
Why? Why did you interfere? My life was not worth dying for. Watching the light fade from your eyes as I held you in my arms… My entire world had been ripped painfully away from me in those seconds. I remember the silence all too clearly. I remember the shock on our teammates faces as they watched us there on the ground. I remember what you whispered to me before you closed your eyes for the last time.
Ai shiteiru, Aya. Never forget.
// Because it's a great big white world //
I glance at the flowers hanging limply in my hand. Roses. The thorns have cut into my flesh, drawing blood that trickles slowly down onto the ground, staining the snow. I stare at it blankly. Red. I am so used to that color now. It makes me want to wretch. Tears threaten to consume me, and I feel bile rise in my throat as I let the flowers fall onto the cold, stone slab at my feet. You always liked roses the best, didn't you? You liked them because I liked them. That's what you told me.
// And we are drained of our colors //
I feel dead inside. The holes you filled within me are empty again. I'm lost without you, koi. There is nothing left for me here any longer. Nothing but death and faded dreams…
'I'm ready.' My own voice sounds foreign to my ears.
// We used to love ourselves //
I do not look back as I allow Youji to lead me out of the cemetery.
// We used to love one another //
Ai shiteiru.
Schuldich…
Owari
~*~
I was thinking about writing a prequel to this. Would anyone be interested in reading it? Don't worry. It'll be much longer than this one. Review and let me know, ne?
~*~
Saa…: well…
Iie: no
Koi: love
Ai shiteiru: I love you