DISCLAIMER: Fruits Basket, Momiji, and all other Fruits Basket
characters in this product are the respective property of Takaya Natsuki.
All events in this story are fictitious, and any relation with real
characters or circumstances is purely coincidental. (Beat THAT
disclaimer.pretty professional huh?)
Sorry how for how long it took to update this. I've been busy working on my "romance" fic, which is taking up a lot of my time. If you don't remember what's happening, re-read the first chapter.
Momiji sat outside for awhile, waiting for Hiro, Kisa, and the bunny I feel like naming Toucan Sam to come back from their little umbrella trip. "Hmm," he squealed. "I'm bored.I should do something for fun until those fugitives come back. I know! I'll go find Kyo!" So Momiji shpiggled away to find Kyo.
Kyo was lounging in front of the boob tube with a bored expression on his face when Momiji shpiggled in and squealed, "Hiya Kyo! Whatcha watching?"
Kyo quickly changed the channel from My Little Pony to the nearest channel when Momiji shpiggled in. "Um." Kyo looked at the screen, ".football," he said, even though he was SO obviously enjoying My Little Pony a second ago.
"Wow, Kyo, I didn't know you liked football! I've got an idea! Let's get some other Sohmas on a team and let's play!" Momiji squealed.
Kyo agreed just to show he was manly, but really he didn't know the first thing about football! DUN DUN DUN!
"I'll choose the people for the teams," Momiji squealed and he ran off to find everybody. Actually, Momiji didn't have the slightest idea of how many people are on a football team but oh well. He'd find the best of the best football players!
Meanwhile, Hiro, Kisa, and Toucan Sam were on the ground heading back to Sohma House when Akito's birdy darted over their heads and out of sight.
"W-what was that Hiro?" asked Kisa, her voice shaking.
"I don't know," Hiro replied, "But I think it was a UFO."
Kisa gasped. "A UFO? And it's heading right toward Sohma House! We've got to warn the others!"
Back at Sohma house, Momiji had gathered the teams.
"Um, Momiji, why is Akito playing?" asked Kyo.
"What's wrong with that? You say that like Akito's evil," squealed Momiji.
Kyo looked over at Akito, who was burning ladybugs with a magnifying glass and laughing at their expense. "Uh." Kyo said.
Momiji smiled. "Don't worry, Kyo, I only gathered the best players. Akito's really good, he punted me out the window like a champion!"
SO THE GAME OF FOOTBALL BEGAN! I'll tell you the teams:
The Shishkebab team consisted of Yuki, Momiji, Rin, Kureno, and Kyo. The Stitch-Eyed Grandma team consisted of Haru, Kagura, Akito, Shigure, and Ayame.
"Let the game begin," Hatori said monotonously, cuz he's the referee. Not really knowing what to do, he threw the football into the game. It just.sat there in the middle of the field. Hatori sighed. "Is there anyone here that knows how to play this game?"
Shigure blurted out, "I think you just pass the ball to your teammates and try to get to the opposite side of the field without getting get tackled by the other team, and if you achieve this, Hatori yells TOUCHDOWN!"
"That sounds easy enough," said Rin. So she decided she would start. She ran with the ball headed toward the opposite end of the field. But Shigure got in the way so she passed it to Kureno. Kureno ran with the ball then realized that AKITO DIDN'T HAVE THE BALL! so he threw it to Akito.
"Why did you do that? Akito's not on our team!" Rin screamed at the top of her lungs like Varuca Salt, then just to add to the Wonkaness she screamed, "I want an Oompa-Loompa now!" Which resulted in everyone staring at her of course.
Akito stared at the football he was holding. Little did the world know, Akito was terrified of walruses! AND THAT BALL LOOKED LIKE A WALRUS FOR SOME REASON! So he threw the ball down the field away from him and Kagura caught it. She ran toward the end zone or whatever it's called but then saw Kyo on the opposite side of the field and ran toward him. "KYO! YOU MUST HAVE THIS BALL!" she shrieked as she kicked it right into Kyo's face.
Sadly, Kyo's nose fell off from the impact. Just kidding. It just disappeared for a few seconds like anime noses sometimes do. Kagura forgot that noses do that so she screamed at the top of her lungs, "Good lord! Kyo's nose is missing!" And then everyone's nose disappeared! NOOOOOOO!
For some reason, everyone forgot that their noses disappear daily, so they screamed like ninnies and ran around in circles. Then Ayame sweatdropped a HUMUNGADUNGA sweatdrop that almost covered half his head. Everyone stared at Ayame's sweatdrop and screamed, forgetting that sweatdrops are another anime characteristic. Ayame picked up the sweatdrop and hurtled it across the field. "TOUCHDOWN!" Hatori yelled.
Akito thought there was too much loud noise and confusion going on, and he got mad. Which means, one of those big floating vein-thingies that twitch appeared above his head. Momiji screamed and pointed at the anger- thingy and hurtled it across the field too. "TOUCHDOWN!" Hatori yelled.
Hatori, who's NEVER gotten chibified or lost a nose or sweatdropped or had an anger-thingy, decided this had gone too far. So he calmed everyone down and assured them this behavior was normal, and that it was nothing to worry about. Everything was calm and peaceful after that until Hiro and Kisa suddenly appeared out of nowhere panting.
"W.we.we saw a UFO." said Hiro, trying to catch his breath. "And it's headed this way!"
Momiji came out of the shadows that never existed and put his say on this theory. "A UFO, you say? Well, this could pose as a threat. Do you know what UFO stands for?" he squealed mysteriously, if it's possible to squeal mysteriously.
"Uh." said Kisa, ".Unidentified Flying Object?"
"Wrong!" Momiji squealed in reply, "It stands for Uncooked Fishtail Orchestra! This means we are about to be assaulted by raw fishtails playing violins! We are certainly doomed."
Everyone stood there for a minute and blinked, then burst out laughing. What ridiculous ideas Momiji had! They snickered a bit then resumed their game of football.
Momiji didn't understand why they didn't believe him. They should be running for their lives and hiding from these horrible fishtails that are soon to show Judgment Day to the Sohma family!
He scanned the area, looking for some convenient item that could be used as a weapon to destroy the UFOs. He scratched his chin a bit, then noticed something! If you follow Momiji's gaze, it heads to the shovel! A shovel would be an excellent weapon! "Hold on, Miss Author," Momiji squealed to me, "I'm not looking at the shovel, I'm looking past it!" Well, forgive me. If you follow his gaze BEYOND the MYSTERIOUS BEYOND (and the shovel) you will see it go straight toward...a blender? Now what could he possibly do with THAT?
"Well," Momiji said to ME, because he has a reason to talk to ME and not YOU, so don't get all jealous that Momiji isn't speaking to YOU, "I'm going to shmoosh the livin' dickens out of the UFOs with this blender! They'll be sorry they ever messed with THIS rabbit!" he squealed, even though they never really DID mess with him.
Now, for all of you needing a little bit of Omake Theater, this is it! Blue Seed style! Okay, not really, in other words, while all this is happening, something ELSE is happening in the Sohma House kitchen.
An old fat lunchlady squilched the beans from a bottle onto the burrito. She sneezed, her boogers flying all over the burrito, but she didn't care. The Sohmas underpaid her anyway, why should she NOT blow her gruesome snot into their food? The lady's name was Toia. Now that last sentence probably doesn't matter a bit to you, but it does for me because my school lunchlady's name is Toia. So ANYWAYS, Toia wrapped the burrito in aluminum wrap and stuck it in the fridge, moving onto the next entrée. Now finally, this was her time to make her OWN meal, after all that hard work of making burritos. (pantpant) She decided to celebrate this wondrous time of her making food so she flung out her violin and started GROOVIN'. To the violin. Which is hard to groove to for most peeople, but not for our amazing Toia of course! She grooved like she meant it! Toia's younger assistant Mary rolled her eyes at her and continued with her kitchen work. She pulled some fish out of the freezer and unwrapped it carefully, walking over to Toia who was still groovin' with the fire of a thousand suns. Ironically, just as Mary was walking by her, Toia went into Absolute Bust-A- Move mode, where she spun around in circles waving her arms around madly and singing in a high-pitched Barry Gibb voice. One of Toia's flailing arms slapped the fish out of Mary's hands, and also the violin out of her own. The raw fish flew out the window, followed by the Bust-A-Move Toia violin, and they passed a tree, which cut off the body and head of the fish until it was just a tail flying through the air. The violin and fishtail headed straight toward Momiji, who was fondling his beloved blender in a naughty un-Momiji-like manner. End of Omake Theater.
Momiji was startled when he realized a fishtail with a violin was hurtling right toward his head! He jumped out of the way, in slow motion, with the deep slow barely-understandable voice, but TO NO AVAIL! The fishtail and its violin still plunked him right on the head! OH NO! Momiji was utterly flabberghasted. "That's it, no more Mister Nice Bun-Bun!" he squealed, unsheathing his blender. The fishtail lied on the floor, motionless. Obviously a sly tactic, Momiji though to himself. But it won't fool me! And with that, Momiji attacked the fishtail AND the violin with his blender, sending the tail splashing and splooshing through the blender's stomach, with a sickening sound like when you walk through mud at Tennant Lake. "Haha! Detective Momiji reigns victorious!" Momiji squealed dangerously, which is REALLY hard to do unless you're Momiji.
With the UFO destroyed forever, Momiji sighed, a huge burden off his back. Now he could focus on his real mission: To find out who pooped that poop! While he was pondering the question, the rest of the Sohmas came to Momiji panting. "We've played our game of football so long, we're really tired now..." Kyo said, and then he noticed the blenderful of fishtail and violin and that just brightened up his day. "Hey, Momiji, we're so parched, can we have some of that smoothie you made?" He had no idea what it was made of but oh well. Anything would do.
"Okay!" Momiji squealed, smiling widely, as he distributed his fishtail and violin smoothies to all the thirsty Sohmas. Everyone started drinking their smoothies and were so happiful! ^_^ THE END...NO IT'S NOT THE END! THERE'S STILL A BUNCH MORE CHAPPIES AFTER THIS!!! And everyone stared at the Narrator like she's crazy for yelling up at the sky "The End" and then arguing with herself.
Sorry how for how long it took to update this. I've been busy working on my "romance" fic, which is taking up a lot of my time. If you don't remember what's happening, re-read the first chapter.
Momiji sat outside for awhile, waiting for Hiro, Kisa, and the bunny I feel like naming Toucan Sam to come back from their little umbrella trip. "Hmm," he squealed. "I'm bored.I should do something for fun until those fugitives come back. I know! I'll go find Kyo!" So Momiji shpiggled away to find Kyo.
Kyo was lounging in front of the boob tube with a bored expression on his face when Momiji shpiggled in and squealed, "Hiya Kyo! Whatcha watching?"
Kyo quickly changed the channel from My Little Pony to the nearest channel when Momiji shpiggled in. "Um." Kyo looked at the screen, ".football," he said, even though he was SO obviously enjoying My Little Pony a second ago.
"Wow, Kyo, I didn't know you liked football! I've got an idea! Let's get some other Sohmas on a team and let's play!" Momiji squealed.
Kyo agreed just to show he was manly, but really he didn't know the first thing about football! DUN DUN DUN!
"I'll choose the people for the teams," Momiji squealed and he ran off to find everybody. Actually, Momiji didn't have the slightest idea of how many people are on a football team but oh well. He'd find the best of the best football players!
Meanwhile, Hiro, Kisa, and Toucan Sam were on the ground heading back to Sohma House when Akito's birdy darted over their heads and out of sight.
"W-what was that Hiro?" asked Kisa, her voice shaking.
"I don't know," Hiro replied, "But I think it was a UFO."
Kisa gasped. "A UFO? And it's heading right toward Sohma House! We've got to warn the others!"
Back at Sohma house, Momiji had gathered the teams.
"Um, Momiji, why is Akito playing?" asked Kyo.
"What's wrong with that? You say that like Akito's evil," squealed Momiji.
Kyo looked over at Akito, who was burning ladybugs with a magnifying glass and laughing at their expense. "Uh." Kyo said.
Momiji smiled. "Don't worry, Kyo, I only gathered the best players. Akito's really good, he punted me out the window like a champion!"
SO THE GAME OF FOOTBALL BEGAN! I'll tell you the teams:
The Shishkebab team consisted of Yuki, Momiji, Rin, Kureno, and Kyo. The Stitch-Eyed Grandma team consisted of Haru, Kagura, Akito, Shigure, and Ayame.
"Let the game begin," Hatori said monotonously, cuz he's the referee. Not really knowing what to do, he threw the football into the game. It just.sat there in the middle of the field. Hatori sighed. "Is there anyone here that knows how to play this game?"
Shigure blurted out, "I think you just pass the ball to your teammates and try to get to the opposite side of the field without getting get tackled by the other team, and if you achieve this, Hatori yells TOUCHDOWN!"
"That sounds easy enough," said Rin. So she decided she would start. She ran with the ball headed toward the opposite end of the field. But Shigure got in the way so she passed it to Kureno. Kureno ran with the ball then realized that AKITO DIDN'T HAVE THE BALL! so he threw it to Akito.
"Why did you do that? Akito's not on our team!" Rin screamed at the top of her lungs like Varuca Salt, then just to add to the Wonkaness she screamed, "I want an Oompa-Loompa now!" Which resulted in everyone staring at her of course.
Akito stared at the football he was holding. Little did the world know, Akito was terrified of walruses! AND THAT BALL LOOKED LIKE A WALRUS FOR SOME REASON! So he threw the ball down the field away from him and Kagura caught it. She ran toward the end zone or whatever it's called but then saw Kyo on the opposite side of the field and ran toward him. "KYO! YOU MUST HAVE THIS BALL!" she shrieked as she kicked it right into Kyo's face.
Sadly, Kyo's nose fell off from the impact. Just kidding. It just disappeared for a few seconds like anime noses sometimes do. Kagura forgot that noses do that so she screamed at the top of her lungs, "Good lord! Kyo's nose is missing!" And then everyone's nose disappeared! NOOOOOOO!
For some reason, everyone forgot that their noses disappear daily, so they screamed like ninnies and ran around in circles. Then Ayame sweatdropped a HUMUNGADUNGA sweatdrop that almost covered half his head. Everyone stared at Ayame's sweatdrop and screamed, forgetting that sweatdrops are another anime characteristic. Ayame picked up the sweatdrop and hurtled it across the field. "TOUCHDOWN!" Hatori yelled.
Akito thought there was too much loud noise and confusion going on, and he got mad. Which means, one of those big floating vein-thingies that twitch appeared above his head. Momiji screamed and pointed at the anger- thingy and hurtled it across the field too. "TOUCHDOWN!" Hatori yelled.
Hatori, who's NEVER gotten chibified or lost a nose or sweatdropped or had an anger-thingy, decided this had gone too far. So he calmed everyone down and assured them this behavior was normal, and that it was nothing to worry about. Everything was calm and peaceful after that until Hiro and Kisa suddenly appeared out of nowhere panting.
"W.we.we saw a UFO." said Hiro, trying to catch his breath. "And it's headed this way!"
Momiji came out of the shadows that never existed and put his say on this theory. "A UFO, you say? Well, this could pose as a threat. Do you know what UFO stands for?" he squealed mysteriously, if it's possible to squeal mysteriously.
"Uh." said Kisa, ".Unidentified Flying Object?"
"Wrong!" Momiji squealed in reply, "It stands for Uncooked Fishtail Orchestra! This means we are about to be assaulted by raw fishtails playing violins! We are certainly doomed."
Everyone stood there for a minute and blinked, then burst out laughing. What ridiculous ideas Momiji had! They snickered a bit then resumed their game of football.
Momiji didn't understand why they didn't believe him. They should be running for their lives and hiding from these horrible fishtails that are soon to show Judgment Day to the Sohma family!
He scanned the area, looking for some convenient item that could be used as a weapon to destroy the UFOs. He scratched his chin a bit, then noticed something! If you follow Momiji's gaze, it heads to the shovel! A shovel would be an excellent weapon! "Hold on, Miss Author," Momiji squealed to me, "I'm not looking at the shovel, I'm looking past it!" Well, forgive me. If you follow his gaze BEYOND the MYSTERIOUS BEYOND (and the shovel) you will see it go straight toward...a blender? Now what could he possibly do with THAT?
"Well," Momiji said to ME, because he has a reason to talk to ME and not YOU, so don't get all jealous that Momiji isn't speaking to YOU, "I'm going to shmoosh the livin' dickens out of the UFOs with this blender! They'll be sorry they ever messed with THIS rabbit!" he squealed, even though they never really DID mess with him.
Now, for all of you needing a little bit of Omake Theater, this is it! Blue Seed style! Okay, not really, in other words, while all this is happening, something ELSE is happening in the Sohma House kitchen.
An old fat lunchlady squilched the beans from a bottle onto the burrito. She sneezed, her boogers flying all over the burrito, but she didn't care. The Sohmas underpaid her anyway, why should she NOT blow her gruesome snot into their food? The lady's name was Toia. Now that last sentence probably doesn't matter a bit to you, but it does for me because my school lunchlady's name is Toia. So ANYWAYS, Toia wrapped the burrito in aluminum wrap and stuck it in the fridge, moving onto the next entrée. Now finally, this was her time to make her OWN meal, after all that hard work of making burritos. (pantpant) She decided to celebrate this wondrous time of her making food so she flung out her violin and started GROOVIN'. To the violin. Which is hard to groove to for most peeople, but not for our amazing Toia of course! She grooved like she meant it! Toia's younger assistant Mary rolled her eyes at her and continued with her kitchen work. She pulled some fish out of the freezer and unwrapped it carefully, walking over to Toia who was still groovin' with the fire of a thousand suns. Ironically, just as Mary was walking by her, Toia went into Absolute Bust-A- Move mode, where she spun around in circles waving her arms around madly and singing in a high-pitched Barry Gibb voice. One of Toia's flailing arms slapped the fish out of Mary's hands, and also the violin out of her own. The raw fish flew out the window, followed by the Bust-A-Move Toia violin, and they passed a tree, which cut off the body and head of the fish until it was just a tail flying through the air. The violin and fishtail headed straight toward Momiji, who was fondling his beloved blender in a naughty un-Momiji-like manner. End of Omake Theater.
Momiji was startled when he realized a fishtail with a violin was hurtling right toward his head! He jumped out of the way, in slow motion, with the deep slow barely-understandable voice, but TO NO AVAIL! The fishtail and its violin still plunked him right on the head! OH NO! Momiji was utterly flabberghasted. "That's it, no more Mister Nice Bun-Bun!" he squealed, unsheathing his blender. The fishtail lied on the floor, motionless. Obviously a sly tactic, Momiji though to himself. But it won't fool me! And with that, Momiji attacked the fishtail AND the violin with his blender, sending the tail splashing and splooshing through the blender's stomach, with a sickening sound like when you walk through mud at Tennant Lake. "Haha! Detective Momiji reigns victorious!" Momiji squealed dangerously, which is REALLY hard to do unless you're Momiji.
With the UFO destroyed forever, Momiji sighed, a huge burden off his back. Now he could focus on his real mission: To find out who pooped that poop! While he was pondering the question, the rest of the Sohmas came to Momiji panting. "We've played our game of football so long, we're really tired now..." Kyo said, and then he noticed the blenderful of fishtail and violin and that just brightened up his day. "Hey, Momiji, we're so parched, can we have some of that smoothie you made?" He had no idea what it was made of but oh well. Anything would do.
"Okay!" Momiji squealed, smiling widely, as he distributed his fishtail and violin smoothies to all the thirsty Sohmas. Everyone started drinking their smoothies and were so happiful! ^_^ THE END...NO IT'S NOT THE END! THERE'S STILL A BUNCH MORE CHAPPIES AFTER THIS!!! And everyone stared at the Narrator like she's crazy for yelling up at the sky "The End" and then arguing with herself.