DISCLAIMER: Fuuuuuuruuuuuuuuuutsuuuuu Baaaaaaskeeeeeeeettooooooo
doooooooooooooessssssss nooooooooooooot beeeeeeeeeeeeloooooooooooooong
toooooooooooo meeeeeeeeeeee. Iiiiiiiiiit beeeeeeeelooooooooongssssss
toooooooo Taaaaaakaaaaaaaayaaaaaaaa Naaaaaaatsuuuuuukiiiiiiii.
Gooooooooooooot iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit?
Val: And so, a new chapter is UP. At last. And thanks to all my reviewers, without you guys, I would probably say "This is the dumbest thing ever!" and throw my fic in a garbage can. Well, it IS the dumbest thing ever and a total waste of precious time, but I'm proud of it for some reason and won't throw it away. ^_^
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
The next morning, Momiji slid all the way to Kyo's house (everyone lives at the Sohma estate in this for some reason so shut up) He slid veeeery slowly, and his many gallant king-like robes gently stroked the ground. I don't know why Momiji is wearing these, but oh well. They make him feel sexy. Uh..let him feel that way about himself.
He opened the door, being "sexy" the entire time. "Kyo! I'm here to arrest you!"
Kyo jumped up startled and hurriedly put some clothes on. "AAAHHH I DIDN'T DROWN THAT BOY!!!"
Momiji smiled deviously, ignoring Kyo's comment and the naked Yuki he had shoved under the blankets. ( wheeeeee yaoi is fun! XD) "You HAVE to be the one who pooped that poop, Kyo! I know it was you!"
Kyo got those mad eyes that are all white and watermelon-slice-shaped and stuff. The author resisted the temptation to eat them. Aw man, they look so juicy! "HOW DID YOU CONCLUDE THAT?!! WHY THE HELL WOULD I EVER POOP FOR NO APPARENT REASON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND N--"
Then my Caps Lock button broke in half, since Kyo was pummeling it so hard. He could've just pushed it ONCE, but NOOOO, he had to turn it off and on every time he typed a letter. And now it's broken.
"oh my god.." Kyo said. "what am I gonna do? my caps lock key is broken." He started bawling really loud like Baby Mario on Yoshi's Island (which is REALLY annoying if you've ever played that on SNES) right then and there.
Then the narrator appeared and patted Kyo on the back. "It's okay..you know, I NEVER use the Caps Lock button. I hold down the Shift key. ^^ "
Kyo bawled as if he would die wthout his Shift key. "FINE!" he screamed and ran away.
Momiji just stood there blinking for awhile. Like, for hours and hours. And blinking every second on the second. It was nighttime by the time he stopped. "That was weird," he finally squealed, in a freakish Robot Jones voice for some reason.
The little Rabbit Boy wandered aimlessly around the dark estate. He passed houses and trees and gardens and Kisa shooting up drugs. But only one thing was on his mind. Who pooped that poop?
So he decided to go back to the scene of the crime.
He arrived at the spot where the poop was usually sitting, glowering with a heavenly glow and little angels flying around it playing golden harps. But it wasn't there.
"HOLY SHIT!" Momiji squealed very un-momiji-ish-ly. "THE POOP IS GONE!"
"Perhaps it is my doing.." a creepy unknown voice drawled.
Momiji pivoted on the spot all dramatic-like, and the camera zoomed in on his eyes, which flickered back and forth like they do on stupid cliched horror movies. Jaws music played in the background.
"Who..who are you?" the Rabbit squealed all dramatically.
It started to rain.
"It is I.." A person stepped out from amongst the shadows.
Momiji gasped in horror. "Kazuma!"
And there he was. The source of all evil, the most deadly of the deadly, and even more vicious than Vicious himself, was standing right in front of Momiji.
"Yeah, it was in the way, and it smelled horribly, so I cleaned it up," Kazuma said, smiling.
Momiji gasped and took a step backward. "You..you monster..." he squealed, breathing hard.
"What's wrong Momiji?" asked Kazuma puzzledly.
Momiji suddenly clutched his chest in pain. He moaned awfully. "The evil! It's too strong! My heart can't handle it!"
Kazuma lifted an eyebrow, confused. "What are you talking about Momiji?"
The Rabbit stared at the uh...egg with a freakish rock on top of it?...in fear. "I know what you're planning..just..don't hurt me! Please! I have a wife and children!"
Kazuma blinked. "You do?"
"Yes! I do!" Momiji squealed, removing from his pocket that wasn't there a second ago one of those unfolding photograph thingys with a billion pictures. "See..there's my wife Burma.and my two daughters Bangladesh and Taiwan.."
Kazuma squinted at the pictures. "But those are mutant squids from the Freak Zoo."
Tears spilt forth dramatically from Momiji's forehead..err...eyes. "I don't care what they look like! They're my family!"
"But I'm your family too, you know." Kazuma sighed.
"No! Stop manipulating my mind! You wicked creation of evil empire!" Momiji backed up, and searched desperately for a weapon even though Kazuma was just standing there being all egg-with-a-freakish-rock-on-top-of-it-ish. ( that IS his symbol you know..)
Momiji picked up a blade. A very dangerous blade. A blade so powerful it could only be..a blade of grass.
"You'd better get back! I'm warning you!" he squealed, wiggling the blade of grass back and forth threateningly.
Suddenly Kyo burst forth from a house and headed at hedgehog-speed (that's FAST) straight toward Kazuma, with a naked Yuki calling "Come back!" from the door.
"Not now Yuki! I'll doodle with you some more later!" Kyo yelled back.
Kazuma prepared for the impact of Kyo-on-Shishou. Actually, he didn't. He just saw Kyo for the very first time in fifteen minutes. "I haven't seen you in so long, Kyo!" he said happily, saying the word Kyo in that annoying way he always says it.
That fancy music I can't remember the name of played in the background with orange shoujo bubbles as Kyo and Kazuma ran towards each other in slowmotion. Actually, it wasn't playing. Akito was yodeling it in the shower. He sings so loud the entire estate could hear it. Oh well. It fits the moment. ^^
Ignoring the fact that the narrator just snuck off to peek at Akito in the shower, Kazuma and Kyo jumped into each other's arms. The music went on, and they smiled all ^_^ like.
"I've missed you so much within the fifteen minutes we've been apart it isn't even funny!" Kyo cooooooed (yes, Kyo just COOED o.O)
"Yes, I've missed you too, Kyo" Kazuma cooooed back.
They stood there all hugging each other and stuff with orange shoujo bubbles and sparklies and stuff and yodeling in the background when suddenly Kazuma screamed in pain. All the bubbles popped and Akito stopped yodeling and the sparklies went out for a night on the town.
"WHAT'S THE MATTER?!" Kyo asked worriedly.
"MY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" Kazuma screeched and started running around in circles rubbing his tummy and patting his head. "AAAUGH MY BACK!!! YOU BROKE MY BACK KYO!!!! AAUGH!!"
And with that, he ran away.
"Wait, Shishou!" Kyo yelled and ran after him.
Momiji just kinda stood there in the rain for awhile, not quite sure of what had happened. But for some reason it was sad and angsty. So he fell to his knees and wailed. With the rain pouring down on him. And the camera all zoomed in from above and then it zooms out and far far far away like it does on Mulan and stuff.
Then Momiji got over it and went inside for some nice fresh hot cocoa.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Akito: Hello there. I am going to put in the little last words for today, because I locked Val in a closet for peeping in on me in the shower. T_T Uh...what do I say now?
Guy Named Bob: *gives akito the script thingy*
Akito: *reads kinda slowly like they always do on cartoons for some reason* "Please read and review, I anticipate your feedback." Wait a second, NO! I don't anticipate feedback! This is a stupid story, it doesn't deserve any! I will not allow any reviews!
Bob: But the author won't write if she doesn't get reviews.
Akito: Exactly! We don't want her to write! She's a stupid stupid stupid stupid..uh..person! *has a temper tantrum*
Bob: Shhh, no, don't call her names! She could be listening! What if she puts you in some freakish situation in the next chapter?! Like yaoi with Yuki or something?!
Akito: That's good!
Bob: ..
Akito: ..uh..I mean...oh no! That would be disgusting! *cough cough*
Bob: ...yeah..so anyways, please review people, and if you don't, I'll send Ayame on you. Yes, and Ayame has a sledgehammer.
Ayame: ALYSSA WHERE ARE YOU?! *hack hack*
Akito: Byebye poke an eye. ^^
Val: And so, a new chapter is UP. At last. And thanks to all my reviewers, without you guys, I would probably say "This is the dumbest thing ever!" and throw my fic in a garbage can. Well, it IS the dumbest thing ever and a total waste of precious time, but I'm proud of it for some reason and won't throw it away. ^_^
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
The next morning, Momiji slid all the way to Kyo's house (everyone lives at the Sohma estate in this for some reason so shut up) He slid veeeery slowly, and his many gallant king-like robes gently stroked the ground. I don't know why Momiji is wearing these, but oh well. They make him feel sexy. Uh..let him feel that way about himself.
He opened the door, being "sexy" the entire time. "Kyo! I'm here to arrest you!"
Kyo jumped up startled and hurriedly put some clothes on. "AAAHHH I DIDN'T DROWN THAT BOY!!!"
Momiji smiled deviously, ignoring Kyo's comment and the naked Yuki he had shoved under the blankets. ( wheeeeee yaoi is fun! XD) "You HAVE to be the one who pooped that poop, Kyo! I know it was you!"
Kyo got those mad eyes that are all white and watermelon-slice-shaped and stuff. The author resisted the temptation to eat them. Aw man, they look so juicy! "HOW DID YOU CONCLUDE THAT?!! WHY THE HELL WOULD I EVER POOP FOR NO APPARENT REASON IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD AND N--"
Then my Caps Lock button broke in half, since Kyo was pummeling it so hard. He could've just pushed it ONCE, but NOOOO, he had to turn it off and on every time he typed a letter. And now it's broken.
"oh my god.." Kyo said. "what am I gonna do? my caps lock key is broken." He started bawling really loud like Baby Mario on Yoshi's Island (which is REALLY annoying if you've ever played that on SNES) right then and there.
Then the narrator appeared and patted Kyo on the back. "It's okay..you know, I NEVER use the Caps Lock button. I hold down the Shift key. ^^ "
Kyo bawled as if he would die wthout his Shift key. "FINE!" he screamed and ran away.
Momiji just stood there blinking for awhile. Like, for hours and hours. And blinking every second on the second. It was nighttime by the time he stopped. "That was weird," he finally squealed, in a freakish Robot Jones voice for some reason.
The little Rabbit Boy wandered aimlessly around the dark estate. He passed houses and trees and gardens and Kisa shooting up drugs. But only one thing was on his mind. Who pooped that poop?
So he decided to go back to the scene of the crime.
He arrived at the spot where the poop was usually sitting, glowering with a heavenly glow and little angels flying around it playing golden harps. But it wasn't there.
"HOLY SHIT!" Momiji squealed very un-momiji-ish-ly. "THE POOP IS GONE!"
"Perhaps it is my doing.." a creepy unknown voice drawled.
Momiji pivoted on the spot all dramatic-like, and the camera zoomed in on his eyes, which flickered back and forth like they do on stupid cliched horror movies. Jaws music played in the background.
"Who..who are you?" the Rabbit squealed all dramatically.
It started to rain.
"It is I.." A person stepped out from amongst the shadows.
Momiji gasped in horror. "Kazuma!"
And there he was. The source of all evil, the most deadly of the deadly, and even more vicious than Vicious himself, was standing right in front of Momiji.
"Yeah, it was in the way, and it smelled horribly, so I cleaned it up," Kazuma said, smiling.
Momiji gasped and took a step backward. "You..you monster..." he squealed, breathing hard.
"What's wrong Momiji?" asked Kazuma puzzledly.
Momiji suddenly clutched his chest in pain. He moaned awfully. "The evil! It's too strong! My heart can't handle it!"
Kazuma lifted an eyebrow, confused. "What are you talking about Momiji?"
The Rabbit stared at the uh...egg with a freakish rock on top of it?...in fear. "I know what you're planning..just..don't hurt me! Please! I have a wife and children!"
Kazuma blinked. "You do?"
"Yes! I do!" Momiji squealed, removing from his pocket that wasn't there a second ago one of those unfolding photograph thingys with a billion pictures. "See..there's my wife Burma.and my two daughters Bangladesh and Taiwan.."
Kazuma squinted at the pictures. "But those are mutant squids from the Freak Zoo."
Tears spilt forth dramatically from Momiji's forehead..err...eyes. "I don't care what they look like! They're my family!"
"But I'm your family too, you know." Kazuma sighed.
"No! Stop manipulating my mind! You wicked creation of evil empire!" Momiji backed up, and searched desperately for a weapon even though Kazuma was just standing there being all egg-with-a-freakish-rock-on-top-of-it-ish. ( that IS his symbol you know..)
Momiji picked up a blade. A very dangerous blade. A blade so powerful it could only be..a blade of grass.
"You'd better get back! I'm warning you!" he squealed, wiggling the blade of grass back and forth threateningly.
Suddenly Kyo burst forth from a house and headed at hedgehog-speed (that's FAST) straight toward Kazuma, with a naked Yuki calling "Come back!" from the door.
"Not now Yuki! I'll doodle with you some more later!" Kyo yelled back.
Kazuma prepared for the impact of Kyo-on-Shishou. Actually, he didn't. He just saw Kyo for the very first time in fifteen minutes. "I haven't seen you in so long, Kyo!" he said happily, saying the word Kyo in that annoying way he always says it.
That fancy music I can't remember the name of played in the background with orange shoujo bubbles as Kyo and Kazuma ran towards each other in slowmotion. Actually, it wasn't playing. Akito was yodeling it in the shower. He sings so loud the entire estate could hear it. Oh well. It fits the moment. ^^
Ignoring the fact that the narrator just snuck off to peek at Akito in the shower, Kazuma and Kyo jumped into each other's arms. The music went on, and they smiled all ^_^ like.
"I've missed you so much within the fifteen minutes we've been apart it isn't even funny!" Kyo cooooooed (yes, Kyo just COOED o.O)
"Yes, I've missed you too, Kyo" Kazuma cooooed back.
They stood there all hugging each other and stuff with orange shoujo bubbles and sparklies and stuff and yodeling in the background when suddenly Kazuma screamed in pain. All the bubbles popped and Akito stopped yodeling and the sparklies went out for a night on the town.
"WHAT'S THE MATTER?!" Kyo asked worriedly.
"MY BAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!" Kazuma screeched and started running around in circles rubbing his tummy and patting his head. "AAAUGH MY BACK!!! YOU BROKE MY BACK KYO!!!! AAUGH!!"
And with that, he ran away.
"Wait, Shishou!" Kyo yelled and ran after him.
Momiji just kinda stood there in the rain for awhile, not quite sure of what had happened. But for some reason it was sad and angsty. So he fell to his knees and wailed. With the rain pouring down on him. And the camera all zoomed in from above and then it zooms out and far far far away like it does on Mulan and stuff.
Then Momiji got over it and went inside for some nice fresh hot cocoa.
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
Akito: Hello there. I am going to put in the little last words for today, because I locked Val in a closet for peeping in on me in the shower. T_T Uh...what do I say now?
Guy Named Bob: *gives akito the script thingy*
Akito: *reads kinda slowly like they always do on cartoons for some reason* "Please read and review, I anticipate your feedback." Wait a second, NO! I don't anticipate feedback! This is a stupid story, it doesn't deserve any! I will not allow any reviews!
Bob: But the author won't write if she doesn't get reviews.
Akito: Exactly! We don't want her to write! She's a stupid stupid stupid stupid..uh..person! *has a temper tantrum*
Bob: Shhh, no, don't call her names! She could be listening! What if she puts you in some freakish situation in the next chapter?! Like yaoi with Yuki or something?!
Akito: That's good!
Bob: ..
Akito: ..uh..I mean...oh no! That would be disgusting! *cough cough*
Bob: ...yeah..so anyways, please review people, and if you don't, I'll send Ayame on you. Yes, and Ayame has a sledgehammer.
Ayame: ALYSSA WHERE ARE YOU?! *hack hack*
Akito: Byebye poke an eye. ^^