`*`*`*`

Step Four: Discipline for Misconduct

Lily and Grace walked into the Charms classroom the next day, and didn't even look at James and Sirius.

It was as though they hadn't even seen them.

"So, Lils," said Grace, "I started talking to Gwen and Leslie. Apparently, they aren't too happy about this."

"Oh, I did too," answered Lily. "Leslie told me word has gotten out. I wouldn't be surprised if James and Sirius had a rather hard time of it."

"They deserve it, though," said Grace.

"Oh, without a doubt," said Lily. "Most girls will be avoiding them."

There was a groan behind her.

"Oh, Sirius, James," said Lily. "Did you two just get in here? We didn't even notice."

"What do you mean 'most girls will be avoiding them?'"

"Well," said Lily, "by them I meant you. But perhaps you were too busy planning another four-girl date."

James and Sirius got out of their seats and went over on their knees to Lily and Grace. They began bowing and saying, "We are not worthy, we are not worthy."

"Duh," said Grace. "We knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt."

"Can you ever forgive us?" asked Sirius.

"We will take it into consideration, but that doesn't mean the female population of Hogwarts will," said Grace.

"You forgot Beauxbatons," said Lily. "Gwen has a cousin there who she told all about it."

James looked at her, "You're kidding, right?"

"Oh, if only I was. You see, many people are beginning to question your behavior."

"You're lying," said James. He dragged himself off the ground. "Come on, Sirius. They're just trying to make us worry."

They walked out of the room, and Lily and Grace burst into laughter.

"They may think we're kidding, but there is no question about it, they are SCRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWED!" said Lily.

"They'll come crawling back ready to learn something when they find out how cruel the world can be," said Grace.

"Yeah, they'll be crawling all right," said Lily. "After Gwen and Leslie's male fan club is done with them, they'll wish they'd stayed in this classroom."

"Gwen and Leslie's fan club?" said Grace. "What they look like will be scratches compared to what the James and Sirius club of Highly Obsessed Girls is going to do to them. From what I've heard, they aren't happy at all."

"Ah, yes," said Lily. "I have heard stories that have been circulating all day. They won't make it to the Great Hall."

`*`*`*`

James and Sirius walked to the Great Hall.

"Who do they think they are? Leslie and Gwen didn't care that much!" said James. "It's just another one of their schemes."

"I know! Leslie and Gwen may be hot, but they don't have that much influence. I mean, they're just girls," said Sirius.

"Oh, really?" said a voice from behind him.

Sirius and James whipped around to find a group of boys behind them.

The voice had belonging to Ray Chang, a Ravenclaw boy who looked like he was ready to kill Sirius with his bare hands.

"So," said Frank Longbottom, "you messed with Gwen and Leslie." He slammed his fist against his hand. "Well, that's not very nice, now is it?"

"No!" the rest of the group chorused.

"Now guys," said James, "what's all the fuss for? I mean, they are just girls!"

"Yeah!" chimed in Sirius. "Nothing too special. I mean, they'll cry about, then be done with it."

"GWEN AND LESLIE JUST GIRLS?!" cried another boy. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?!"

"Boys," said Ray, "I think it's time that Mr. Potter and Mr. Black were taught a lesson on how to treat ladies."

"Erm," said Sirius, "that involves being nice, doesn't it?"

"Actually," said Ray, "it involves getting sense knocked into your heads."

"Oh shit," was Sirius' response as a well-aimed fist came closer and closer to his head.

`*`*`*`

"-And then we told some more girls about it at lunch, but it turned out that they already knew all about it!" Gwen was saying.

"Oh, Gwen forgot to tell you about how one of the girls went crying to Ray Chang!" said Leslie. "Just now, in fact. He announced it to the Great Hall, a group of guys stood up, and they went off to find James and Sirius!"

"Wow!" said Lily. "If it were anyone else, I'd worry about their safety, but Sirius and James have very thick skulls."

"Plus they deserve it," said Grace for the thousandth time.

"Ah, here comes old Ray himself," said Leslie.

He walked on over, grabbed Gwen's hand, and kissed it. "I don't think Black or Potter will be bugging you again," he told her.

She smiled at him, "Why, thank you, Ray, but what makes you think they won't bug us anymore?"

"Well," said Ray, "let's just say that they'll require a trip to the hospital wing when they wake up."

Gwen gave him a hug- something he obviously wasn't expecting- in her glee.

"Oh, Ray, thank you soooooooo much! That should teach them!"

"N-n-no p-problem," said Ray. "Anything for you, Gwen!"

He walked away, looking like he owned the world.

"Well, Gwen," said Leslie, "I think you just made his day."

Gwen looked confused. "He did us a favor, I was thanking him."

"And it was 'n-n-no p-problem,'" said Grace, imitating his stutter. "Please, the kid was practically drooling."

Gwen frowned, "No he wasn't. You shouldn't make fun of people's speech impairments."

"Gwen," said Lily, "in all the times I've talked to him he's never been speech impaired."

"Not even once?" asked Gwen hopefully.

Lily shook her head.

There was a resounding "ooooooooooo!"

Then Sirius and James entered the Great Hall.

"Damn!" said an impressed Grace. "Ray may not be able to talk, but he sure can punch!"

James and Sirius both had black eyes, bloody lips, and were limping. Bruises were all over their bodies.

"Mister Potter! Mister Black!" cried Professor McGonagall, running over. "What is the meaning of this?!"

"We were ambushed," groaned Sirius, hoping for sympathy.

"By who?"

"By Ray Chang, and a group," said James, pointing.

The whole Great Hall was listening, as this was a strange thing, so Ray heard every word.

"MISTER CHANG!" roared McGonagall. "I WANT AN EXPLAINATION!"

"Well, Professor," said Ray calmly, "Potter and Black insulted some female students. We were merely helping them learn their lesson. If you think that's not a justified answer, I suggest you ask them what happened with those girls."

Professor McGonagall whipped around. "What have you two done?!"

"Erm, well…" said Sirius.

"Ray is right, we deserved it," said James sheepishly.

"Then may suggest the hospital wing, or do they have that privilege, Mister Chang?"

Ray looked over at Gwen who mouthed, 'No way in hell.'

"No, Professor. I don't think they've quite learned their lesson yet," said Ray.

James and Sirius groaned.

"Very well," she said. "Potter, Black, you may go to the hospital wing tomorrow after classes, but no sooner."

She walked back to the head table, and the four girls shared high fives.

"Well, with that stage of 'Misson Make James and Sirius' Lives a Living Hell' complete, it's now time for step two," said Lily.

The girls all laughed.

Sirius and James walked over to Gryfindor table to sit down.

"That was cruel of her," said Sirius.

"Would you rather tell her?" asked James, holding onto his side. "I think I broke a rib."

"James, Sirius!" called over Melanie Brightman, a fifth-year member of their fan club. "Come sit with us."

James and Sirius smiled at each other. "Well," said James, "maybe everything will be okay after all."

They groaned and clutched to their sides the while way over, as a way of building pity.

"Oh, hi Melanie," groaned James.

"Oh, you poor baby!" she said, carefully helping him sit down. "Did that awful Ray hurt you?"

"Yeah," said Sirius, who was also being helped to sit down by another girl. "Him and his evil friends!"

"Oh!" said the girl, Stacey. "That's awful!"

They were fussed over as they ate. They both took a sip of the pumkin juice.

James was all of the sudden healed. "Why thanks, Melanie! You must have-" he was cut off as he realized he could no longer speak. He was being turned into-

"A fluffy pink bunny!" cried Lily running over. "Brillant, Mel!"

"And I love Sirius the unicorn!" said Grace.

"I didn't know that unicorns could be purple!" said Gwen.

"Haha!" said Grace. "But you know what? I think I know something better!" She pulled out her wand, and turned Sirius into a squirrel.

"A purple squirrel, not bad," admired Stacey.

"Okay!" said Lily. "It's picture time!"

The group of girls all posed with the pink bunny and purple squirrel.

"Brilliant!" said Ray as he took their picture. "Can I have copies of this?"

"Of course!" said Grace. "You can get some when we pass them in fliers around the school!"

"Wait!" said Lily. "Something isn't right! We can spread around fliers!"

"She's right!" cried Gwen.

"What?!" said Stacey. "Don't tell me you're having second thoughts!"

"Of course we aren't!" said Grace.

"Hell no!" said Lily. "What I meant was that we also need a picture of Sirius as a unicorn!"

"And Jamsie can be a cutesy wootsey pink dove!" said Leslie.

They did the proper spells, and Ray took another picture.

"Pure gold. We should sell these," he said.

"Are you kidding?" asked Lily, turning James back into a bunny. "I would never try to make a fortune from another man's folly!"

"Of course," said Grace, who was turning Sirius back into a little squirrel. "It's much better to just hand out the fliers for free."

"Reaches more people that way," said Leslie.

"Good point," said Ray.

"Ladies!" said Professor McGonagall. "Put the animals outside, no squirrels or bunnies allowed in the Great Hall!"

"Yes, Professor," they chorused.

Grace, Lily, Leslie, and Gwen all brought James and Sirius outside. They would never disobey a teacher.

They then went inside.

`*`*`*`

James and Sirius were gonna have a rough night tonight. Maybe some sense would be knocked into their abnormally thick skulls.

After they got done with nature, they would have to experience the wilds of Hogwarts.

This was, of course, assuming that they lived through the humiliation that would come when the fliers circulated.

In the words of a Miss Lily Evans, they are SCRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWED!

`*`*`*`

A/n: i'm sorry it took so long! i should have the next one up by next friday. i went on a writing spree.

i was sent an awesome email. it reminded me of this story. some of you may have seen it. sorry if u don't belive in God!

One day in the Garden of Eden,

Eve calls out to God. "Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that you created me, and provided this beautiful garden with all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that, Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What is that Lord?"

"An interesting but flawed creature, with a mixed bag of traits. I must warn you He'll be vain and self-centered and because of that he'll give you a hard time. But he'll also be bigger and faster and he'll like to farm and to build things. He will look a little amusing when he is aroused, but I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. And he won't be too smart, so of course, he will often need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great, "says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, so what's the catch Lord?"

"Well......you can have him on one condition."

"And what's that, Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud and self-admiring.....so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first.

It will have to be our little secret...... You know, woman to woman."

enelya: they do need sisters. ah well, their loses.

citrus scented: i'm glad u think i'm catching their personalities! i must be doing something right!

Hanna-chan: :-D i'm glad u like it!

starblaze: if ur family dubs u insane, blame me.

Boy-hating, prank-playing Edana: oh, we so are better than them!

lovely: james is a stag, a male deer. that always confused me 2! i'm glad u like the plot!

i o u a name: i'm glad u liked the chapter!

sissy-6: um, i didn't update the next week. forgive me?

LoverOfAllThingsLegolas: i'm glad u like it. and the other story i wrote u. maybe i'll post that 1, i dunno.

MoonFaith: um, i kinda mixed up the animals, but i hope u still like it!

canadian/american/brittish: i updated! glad u like it!