`*`*`*`

Step Six: Actually Learning

Lily and Grace had actually had a few very successful weeks with two improving students. They had been teaching manners. The teachers had noticed the change, but had no idea what had brought it upon them.

Now was just another class.

Lily and Grace had the full attention of the classroom.

"Now," said Grace, "today, we will be learning the proper ways to flirt and ask out a girl."

"Why, have you had a lot of practice, Greenleaf?" said Snape, sticking his head in the room.

"Snape," said Lily, "get out."

"Why should I?" asked Snape. "You all are here."

"Because we asked permission to be here," said Grace.

"Acutally-" said Sirius.

"Can it, Black," said Grace, cutting him off.

"I have as much of a right to be here as you do, Greenleaf," said Snape.

Grace was about to say something, but Lily held up her hand to silence her.

"Now Grace, he's right. He does have a right to be here. Maybe he can even help."

"What?! Are you mad?! He has- Ooooh! You're perfectly right! In fact, he can help us a lot!"

"What are you two going on about?!" cried James. "He's not teaching me anything! I mean it!"

"Now, Severus," said Lily, going over to him and seating him in a chair, "just sit right here."

Grace came from behind him and said a spell that put ropes around him.

"Hey!" he cried out.

Lily then put a silencing charm on him.

Grace and Lily went to work. By the time they pulled away, Snape had on a dress, a blonde wig, and glitter make up.

"Ooo, looking good Severus," said Sirius. "Or should I say Severa?"

Snape glared at him.

"No protesting," said Lily, "you wanted to help."

"Now class," said Grace, "Miss Snape will be our model. Sirius, you first, ask her on a date."

Sirius went up to Snape and said, "Hey, what's new? Nothing? Well, so, uh, I was thinking about going to Hogmeade this weekend, wanna join me?" Severus shook his head, being unable to talk. "Really? Five sound about right? Great! See ya later, sexy," he said winking.

Snape looked as though he'd just been shot and the other three were rolling on the floor laughing.

"G-g-gr-eat Sirius!" Grace finally got out through her laughter.

"I give it a ten!" said Lily. "Now your turn, James."

Sirius sat back down, and James stood up and walked over to Snape's chair. "Hey. What's goin' on? Me? I'm good. So, about this Friday-" He stopped and turned towards Lily and Grace. "I cannot do this! I mean it's SNAPE!"

"Sirius had no problem with it," pointed out Grace.

"Yeah, but Sirius is weird like that!" said James.

"Fine," said Grace, "then ask out Lily! We'll judge you more on technique, though. I'm warning you. Okay, pretend like you just spotted her in the Great Hall."

He walked over to Lily, smiling. "Hey, Lily."

She smiled back, "Hey, James."

"How are you?"

"I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm fine. Listen, I heard there was a Hogmeade weekend coming up, and I was wondering if you wanted join me for a butterbeer."

"I'd like that."

"Great! When should we meet, three?"

"Sounds great."

"See you then!"

"Bye, James."

Grace's jaw was open. "James Potter can be civilized?! He's only asked you out in threats!"

"Alright, Prongsie!" said Sirius.

"Good job, James," said Lily.

"Oh, I dunno. I wouldn't have said yes," said Grace.

"Grace, you wouldn't have said yes anyways," said Lily.

"This is true," said Grace.

"Is it true about the last guy who asked you to Hogsmeade?" asked Sirius.

"Is what true?" asked Grace.

"That he had to go to the hospital wing?"

Grace smiled evilly, "You keep your secrets, and I'll keep mine."

James shuddered, "Then I'm glad I was asking out Lily and not you."

"Okay, take your seats, class," said Lily. "We are now going to talk about flirting, dating, and what's proper."

"I think we should have another round of simulation. Sirius," said Grace, "back up to Snape."

"Why can't I simulate with you Grace?" he asked suggestively.

"Because that would end you up in the hospital wing along with all the others before you."

He gulped. "I think I'll go flirt with Snape, then."

"Good choice."

He walked over to Snape again. "Hey, beautiful. Nice eyes. They're such a pretty mud brown. Oh, and your hair! Did you wash it or something? Because it looks better than usual! And your skin is so-" Snape had pimply skin. "Er, your hair looks great!" Sirius batted his eyelashes at Snape. "You know, yesterday in Potions, you sounded so SMART up there. I was impressed."

Snape looked as though he was about to throw up.

"Another ten!" said Lily. "Avoiding the topic of his skin when you thought it was less then desirable gives you bonus points. But next time you may want to be more smooth about it."

"Okay," said Grace, "it's your turn James. Do you think you can handle Snape this time?"

"Are you kidding? If I could ask him on a date how the hell can I compliment him?"

"Okay," said Grace, "first off, stop your obsession with the word hell. Secondly, just flirt with Lily again! Geez, you are so hard to please Mr. Picky! Okay, go!" She took a seat next to Sirius.

He walked up to Lily, "Hey, again."

"Hey, James. Long time no see." Sirius snickered.

"I couldn't help looking at you today in Charms," he said.

"He really was looking at her," Sirius whispered to Grace.

"And," James continued, "I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you looked. You have the prettiest red hair I've ever seen. It looks like a sunset on a beautiful night. And your eyes, they outshine diamonds. They are green pools that rival the stars."

Sirius was coughing very hard at this point.

Lily blushed. "You even look beautiful when you blush!" proclaimed James. "It adds to the beauty of your face." He then stared into her eyes for a couple of moments, without realizing it.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss!" chanted Sirius in the background.

Grace hit him in the arm. "Okay, I think that's enough, James."

"T-t-top points, James!" said Lily. "That was very flattering!"

"Yep," said Grace. "I almost believed it. I think that's enough for class today, though. See you tomorrow!"

They all went over to Snape, and began untying him.

They took a picture of him before, though. They told him that if he told anyone about the lessons they would expose his cross-dressing tendencies.

`*`*`*`

Snape didn't tell anyone about the lessons. He did however, spread that James Potter was madly in love with Lily Evans. Or at least, they suspected it was him.

Lily sat down at the table for breakfast next to Grace. "If one more person asks me about James, I'm going to kill that person."

"So, Lily," said Sirius, coming at sitting across from her, "what's this I hear about you and James?"

"Go ahead," said Grace, "kill him."

"Kill me? Why would she kill me?"

"Because you're a bloody idiot! Ask James, he's your friend, not Lily! Besides, they wouldn't go out!"

"Er, yeah, I kinda think they would."

"Yeah, and why's that?"

"Because he asked her to Hogsmeade this weekend!"

"It was a simulation!"

"What about when he flirted with her?"

"Also simulation!"

"Yeah, well I doubt he could make up that crap up on the spot!"

"You did for Snape! Or do you have feelings about him we don't know about?"

"You thought that was all crap?" asked Lily, feigning hurt.

"Oh no! Of course not Lily!" said Sirius quickly. "And Grace, ix nay on the Ape snay."

"Ape snay," repeated Grace. "I like it!"

"Ape snay? Who's going on about Ape snay?" asked James, sitting down. Remus and Peter sat down as well.

"Well, we were just talking about yesterday," said Sirius. "So James, what's this I hear about you and Lily?"

James, who had been taking a sip from his pumpkin juice, spit it out. "What?!"

"You and Lily. It's all the latest gossip. Apparently our greasy-haired friend over there had something to talk about."

"That little!" said James. "I'm gonna go pound him!"

"And confirm rumors," said Sirius.

"What? NO!"

"Yes, that's what it will do!"

"How so?"

"People go, 'Oh, there's James beating the shit out of Snape! The rumors must be true! Severus must have said something bad about Lily!'"

"That makes no sense, Sirius," said Remus.

"What if the rumors are true?"

Lily looked up and gave him a weird look.

"What?" she said.

"I think your girlfriend just answered that," said Sirius.

James sighed.

`*`*`*`

They were walking to the Great Hall for lunch, and Ray Chang and Gwen walked over to them.

"You're going out with Lily?" Ray asked.

James, tired of telling people no, did the last thing anyone expected. He grabbed Lily, dipped her, and gave her a long kiss on the mouth.

He came up for air and said, "Why yes I am."

`*`*`*`

A/n:

Did everyone like the fifth book Harry POtter and the Raging Case of Hormones?

i loved the lily and james bit in the OotP! some of the ideas clashed w/ mine (like james' mother is still alive and both of his parents are awesome) but i'm going 2 ignore it. he also likes lily, which i kinda had 2 throw in, but the flirting and date part were written b4 it came out. so are 3 other chapters.

i know u all hated the death! I know i did! i was writing a scene and i was like, "ah! all of these people are dead!" ah well, the death was iffy. i think she'll bring that person back...

Sweet Lil Angel- i'm glad u like it!

starblaze- i hope u still like the way the fics heading!

citrus scented- OotP would never stop me writing. thanx 4 the concern!

JerseyGirl03- thanx 4 reviewing!

i o u a name- ilove new words! i hope ur brain's off vacation now, and u can think of some!

LoverOfAllThingsLegolas- u really don't need 2 read this chap, cuz u already did. so u probably won't read this. ah well.

whatdyasay?- i'm glad u think so highly of my story! it makes me happy!

enelya- ten things i hate about you is a really good movie! i'm obsessed w/ it!

BlueTwilight24- james always needs excuses.

sissy-6- they'll get 2gether. eventually.

MoonFaith- ur welcome! i liked ur ideas!

flamin-phyinix- i hope this is fast enough 4 u!