Pain
Sorrow
Grief
That's what showed all around. Wherever you looked, you saw tears of sadness and pain. It seemed like the entire town was here, all crowded into one small little building. Of course, not everyone could fit, so there was a line outside that backed up past the street, maybe farther now. I saw people of young and old, fat and thin, tall and short. My heart wrenched to look at them, but I did anyways. She was dead. The love of my life was dead and there was nothing I could do, nothing that could be done. And it was all my fault.
Pain
Sorrow
Grief
As I waited in line to see her, my Serena, I glanced around the room. Displays were everywhere, representing her likes, memories, experiences, and so much more. There were collages of her and her friends at sleepovers putting shaving cream on each other, her dressed up as a witch for Halloween, and then…..a picture of me and her sitting by the lake. Tears welled in my eyes, but I held them back. The line moved and I came upon a table of items she possessed. A test of hers was framed, for it was her first math test she had gotten an A on. Next to it was a milkshake from the Crown. I smiled slightly to myself; it was just like Andrew to do something like that. Bunny rabbits were everywhere, sprayed with glitter. The line moved on and viewed more and more items of hers. Then finally, I made it to the casket where she laid. I was surprised to see that it was open. Fear struck me and I didn't think I could look at her, but I did anyways. She seemed so peaceful, just lying there…..but it didn't look anything like her. Her normally golden hair was little less than a shine. She looked paler than normal too. The reason she looked so different though was because she wasn't smiling and laughing, making everyone happy. Tears sprang to my eyes and I could no longer hold them back. I had killed her, all because of some stupid dream.
*****
I had gone to see Serena at the wake yesterday with the girls. I cried so much it hurt. She looked nothing like her, nothing at all! I saw so many people there, just wanting to get a glimpse of her to say good-bye for she enlightened the lives of so many people. Her parents though, were the most distressed, but not as distressed as Sammy. He was a wreck. We cried together that night, him and I. He told me that he thought it was all his fault; he was the one to blame; if he just would have been nicer….
I can't sleep.
I can't eat.
All I think about is my best friend, who I killed.
My mom expects me to be sad, but she's worried now. I refuse to study, just like Serena did. Although it has only been a day, I fell like I can't go on. She was my first friend, the first one to see past my studious barrier and reach out to me. Now though, she was gone, and I feel that I died with her.
*****
I should have seen this coming!! She was my best friend for crying out loud!! I shouldn't have jumped on her like that….I killed her….I lost my best friend. Sure, I have the other girls, but Serena was different, she made everyone else so happy. Maybe that's why I teased her so much, because I was jealous. I never had friends like she did; I was too scared that they would reject me for being different. Serena didn't though….she didn't. I saw Darien at the wake yesterday, he showed no emotion, or at least, of what I saw. He was cold and stern, just like the first time I met him. Maybe that's what attracted me to him, he seemed to think that emotions shouldn't play a part in how you feel. But now that's all different.
Pain
Sorrow
Grief
She's gone and so is a part of me too.
*****
I lost her! She's…..NO! IT CAN'T BE!!! I just can't believe she killed herself. She confessed to me….me of all people. She told me about how different Darien was acting; she wanted to know if he still loved her, for after all, I am the Goddess of Love. I told her yes….but now….I betrayed her, lied, deceived….EVERYTHING!!! I should never have gone along with that stupid plan of Luna's….but I did, and it killed her.
Pain
Sorrow
Grief
I feel Darien's pain the worse. I don't know why he dumped her, but he did. He was as cold as ice yesterday at the wake, but I could tell he wanted to make it seem like this wasn't affecting him….like he was some big macho man. I stayed longer than the girls, I saw Darien cry when he saw Serena. Her parents insisted on having an open casket so everyone could look at her and say good-bye one more time. I'm worried a lot about everyone. Raye is constantly sitting in front of the fire now, meditating. Amy's stopped studying and is just sulking. I saw her leave with Sammy yesterday. Maybe that has something to do with it. I haven't heard from Lita in a while. She stayed longer too, comforting those who came. I'm worried the most about her. Serena was her first friend when she transferred here. I just hope she doesn't go back to her old ways.
Pain
Sorrow
Grief
Not only did we lose a friend yesterday, we lost our princess, the one we were supposed to protect…and Sailor Moon……………………there would be no more Sailor Moon. I would be the leader now, just like back in the Silver Millennium. I must be strong, but I feel I cannot. I just wish she was here….
*****
Serena, you can't be dead! You can't leave us here! Please, pinch me and tell me that this is all a strange dream or something. You looked so helpless lying there, all alone in that box. Did you see everyone that came? Did you see how many people you left behind? Gosh Serena!!! Can't you stop being selfish for one minute?
Pain
Sorrow
Grief
But that's not true; you were the most selfless person I knew. You were my first friend; you broke through my wall of stone that surrounded my heart. I remember how you would always freak out during lightening and thunder storms. I used to laugh. Lightening and thunder were my friends…..but you didn't believe me….or maybe you did, I don't know. I think over half the town came to see you yesterday. Ms. H came Serena, she was in tears. Molly and Melvin came too. Molly was a wreck, but she held herself better than Melvin who was balling all the way through the funeral home. Today is your funeral. Your mom asked me to be one of the guards who carried your casket. I know it's unusual for a woman to do it, but she thought that you would have wanted it this way. I know that it's my fault why you're gone. I should have protected you…I should have been there….but I wasn't. What are we going to do without you Serena? How will we survive? I just want you to be happy……..
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*sniff* In loving memory of Alex. A lot of this chapter is based on his wake that I went to. Please let me know if you think I should continue this sad story, if I should just stop. If I were to continue, I'd write about the funeral next, then I would probably end it. Let me know what you think…REVIEW!!
p.s. I don't own Sailor Moon….*sniff*