This is a story about the night I learned Ran doesn't joke.
Chapter 2 Melting Glaciers With Matches
"You know I can't live without you." Maybe, just maybe, this time she'll stay. Maybe she doesn't understand how vital she is to my life. Maybe if I just beg enough.
She walked nearer to me and smiled at me as if nothing were wrong. "You need to learn, Yohji. You'll never be happy if you don't move on."
"If that's so then why do you keep coming to see me every night?" I felt so helpless. I took her hands but they didn't feel quite the same.
She laughed a pleasant little laugh as if I had said something silly. "Honey, I'm not real," she said with a giggle.
My eyes widened for a moment with the realization of what is happening.. again. "You know there is no woman in the world that could replace you." I feel tears welling up, but that's nothing new.
"You don't need to forget me because even the most painful memories are precious. They make us better people," she explained and placed a hand on my cheek. "You just need to find a way not to torture yourself for it. Bad things happen to people all the time and it wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself forever."
"Watch me." I sighed into her hand.
Her eyes narrowed for a moment and she became serious. "Please, Yohji. Let us both finally rest."
I gasped, knowing that this was another good-bye. I wrapped my arms around her. "If I hold you now, you'll be there when I wake up."
"I won't," she promised and faded away.
"Asuka.." I felt myself fall to the ground, but before I reached it, I woke up with a start. She wasn't in my arms, just like she promised. Great. Just when I get over the insomnia, I wish I hadn't.
I needed a cigarette. Bad. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and reached blindly for the pack I always kept on the nightstand. Right where it always is. Good, old, trusty cigarettes. They never abandon me. And then I suddenly felt very stupid for thinking that.
I got up and searched around for a lighter. It must be somewhere in some pair of pants. Alright, think Kudou, think. Last night I didn't have it on me because I had to keep asking people for a light. Annoying, but a good way to pick up women. I know I had it the day before but now they're... I gave up with the logic and just started flipping every pair of pants in the room. One of them was bound to have it, and sure enough, one did. I picked up the lighter from the ground and looked at it triumphantly.
I pulled out a cigarette and placed it in my mouth, stuffing the rest of the pack in between by hip and the band of my sweats. I needed fresh air, which was kind of ironic since I was going to fill it up with smoke anyway. I opened up the back door of my room that led to the balcony and stepped out.
Well, lo and behold. Who else to be sharing my midnight air with than dear 'Aya'?
"Hey, Ay~a," I said, stressing the last syllable as I walked up beside him.
"What do you want?" He didn't even turn to look at me.
"Just a cigarette," I said holding my arms up in surrender. "Want one?"
He looked over at me as if I had just said the weirdest thing. "Hn," was the response.
"I'll take that as a yes," I said and handed one to him. He studied it like he had no idea what to do with it. I raised my eyebrows and took the cigarette out of his hands, placing it in his mouth before he could figure out what I was doing.
"Weird hour to be up, ne?" I said as I lit it for him.
"Hn." Oh yea, real conversationalist this one is.
"Dreaming of the real Aya again, are we?" Let's at least try to get some sort of emotion out of him.
Sure enough, I get the death glare. Ouch. He was quickly making that a hobby. "That's none of your concern."
"I'm an ex-PI. It's my nature to be concerned where I have no place to be." I smirked at him and leaned on the edge of the balcony.
"Doesn't mean I have to tell you anything," he said, keeping his eyes far away from me.
"Yea, but I should warn you, I usually find out anyway." He didn't respond. Instead, he took the cigarette out of his mouth and examined it. "Well, I wouldn't worry too much about it, Aya. Nightmares are regular visitors among Weiss. We all have our hidden demons."
"You, too?"
Well, that surprised me. He sounded almost.. innocent, or naive. Something that definitely didn't fit him. I had to smile. "Why do you think I'm out here?" He looked like he understood all of a sudden and placed the cigarette back in his mouth. "Yea, me especially, I think. I'm trying to decide which is better: sleeping with nightmares or just giving in to insomnia."
"What are you choosing right now?"
"Well, I thought I might give sleeping another go, but it's not any better than it usually is. I don't want to run away, but facing it is too hard." I sighed and looked down at my hands. I never had any problems talking about this. Asuka would want me to be able to talk about it. She always made me talk about stuff. Aya wasn't asking for details, though.
"What time is it? It feels like I've been out here forever."
"About 2:00 last time I checked."
"Seems like everyone in the world is asleep."
"Eh, someone somewhere must be getting some sun right now," I reasoned.
"Hn."
"So tell me, Aya. What haunts you at night?" I figured I'd go for it, but I wasn't really expecting any serious answers.
He thought for a moment, reluctant to say anything. "Every night, a telepath goes into my head and makes me relive the worst day of my life."
I laughed and turned around so my back leaned against the edge of the balcony. "See, I knew you had a sense of humor somewhere in there." Wow, did I deserve the death glare I got for that one. Who the hell would take that seriously?
Aya looked up at me, piercing icicles through my head. He then dropped the cigarette to the ground, stepped on it and walked away.
"What? Was it something I said? Hey! Aya!" Yea, no luck. Off he went, back to his room, angry, bitter and with ever right in the world to be that way. Kami, I'm a jackass. I bet Weiss isn't looking too well to him right now. Ken redeemed himself with rice balls, but I figured I'd have to have something better to smooth that over with.
Good job, Mr. PI.
Chapter 2 Melting Glaciers With Matches
"You know I can't live without you." Maybe, just maybe, this time she'll stay. Maybe she doesn't understand how vital she is to my life. Maybe if I just beg enough.
She walked nearer to me and smiled at me as if nothing were wrong. "You need to learn, Yohji. You'll never be happy if you don't move on."
"If that's so then why do you keep coming to see me every night?" I felt so helpless. I took her hands but they didn't feel quite the same.
She laughed a pleasant little laugh as if I had said something silly. "Honey, I'm not real," she said with a giggle.
My eyes widened for a moment with the realization of what is happening.. again. "You know there is no woman in the world that could replace you." I feel tears welling up, but that's nothing new.
"You don't need to forget me because even the most painful memories are precious. They make us better people," she explained and placed a hand on my cheek. "You just need to find a way not to torture yourself for it. Bad things happen to people all the time and it wasn't your fault. You can't blame yourself forever."
"Watch me." I sighed into her hand.
Her eyes narrowed for a moment and she became serious. "Please, Yohji. Let us both finally rest."
I gasped, knowing that this was another good-bye. I wrapped my arms around her. "If I hold you now, you'll be there when I wake up."
"I won't," she promised and faded away.
"Asuka.." I felt myself fall to the ground, but before I reached it, I woke up with a start. She wasn't in my arms, just like she promised. Great. Just when I get over the insomnia, I wish I hadn't.
I needed a cigarette. Bad. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and reached blindly for the pack I always kept on the nightstand. Right where it always is. Good, old, trusty cigarettes. They never abandon me. And then I suddenly felt very stupid for thinking that.
I got up and searched around for a lighter. It must be somewhere in some pair of pants. Alright, think Kudou, think. Last night I didn't have it on me because I had to keep asking people for a light. Annoying, but a good way to pick up women. I know I had it the day before but now they're... I gave up with the logic and just started flipping every pair of pants in the room. One of them was bound to have it, and sure enough, one did. I picked up the lighter from the ground and looked at it triumphantly.
I pulled out a cigarette and placed it in my mouth, stuffing the rest of the pack in between by hip and the band of my sweats. I needed fresh air, which was kind of ironic since I was going to fill it up with smoke anyway. I opened up the back door of my room that led to the balcony and stepped out.
Well, lo and behold. Who else to be sharing my midnight air with than dear 'Aya'?
"Hey, Ay~a," I said, stressing the last syllable as I walked up beside him.
"What do you want?" He didn't even turn to look at me.
"Just a cigarette," I said holding my arms up in surrender. "Want one?"
He looked over at me as if I had just said the weirdest thing. "Hn," was the response.
"I'll take that as a yes," I said and handed one to him. He studied it like he had no idea what to do with it. I raised my eyebrows and took the cigarette out of his hands, placing it in his mouth before he could figure out what I was doing.
"Weird hour to be up, ne?" I said as I lit it for him.
"Hn." Oh yea, real conversationalist this one is.
"Dreaming of the real Aya again, are we?" Let's at least try to get some sort of emotion out of him.
Sure enough, I get the death glare. Ouch. He was quickly making that a hobby. "That's none of your concern."
"I'm an ex-PI. It's my nature to be concerned where I have no place to be." I smirked at him and leaned on the edge of the balcony.
"Doesn't mean I have to tell you anything," he said, keeping his eyes far away from me.
"Yea, but I should warn you, I usually find out anyway." He didn't respond. Instead, he took the cigarette out of his mouth and examined it. "Well, I wouldn't worry too much about it, Aya. Nightmares are regular visitors among Weiss. We all have our hidden demons."
"You, too?"
Well, that surprised me. He sounded almost.. innocent, or naive. Something that definitely didn't fit him. I had to smile. "Why do you think I'm out here?" He looked like he understood all of a sudden and placed the cigarette back in his mouth. "Yea, me especially, I think. I'm trying to decide which is better: sleeping with nightmares or just giving in to insomnia."
"What are you choosing right now?"
"Well, I thought I might give sleeping another go, but it's not any better than it usually is. I don't want to run away, but facing it is too hard." I sighed and looked down at my hands. I never had any problems talking about this. Asuka would want me to be able to talk about it. She always made me talk about stuff. Aya wasn't asking for details, though.
"What time is it? It feels like I've been out here forever."
"About 2:00 last time I checked."
"Seems like everyone in the world is asleep."
"Eh, someone somewhere must be getting some sun right now," I reasoned.
"Hn."
"So tell me, Aya. What haunts you at night?" I figured I'd go for it, but I wasn't really expecting any serious answers.
He thought for a moment, reluctant to say anything. "Every night, a telepath goes into my head and makes me relive the worst day of my life."
I laughed and turned around so my back leaned against the edge of the balcony. "See, I knew you had a sense of humor somewhere in there." Wow, did I deserve the death glare I got for that one. Who the hell would take that seriously?
Aya looked up at me, piercing icicles through my head. He then dropped the cigarette to the ground, stepped on it and walked away.
"What? Was it something I said? Hey! Aya!" Yea, no luck. Off he went, back to his room, angry, bitter and with ever right in the world to be that way. Kami, I'm a jackass. I bet Weiss isn't looking too well to him right now. Ken redeemed himself with rice balls, but I figured I'd have to have something better to smooth that over with.
Good job, Mr. PI.