Bend and Not Break

Seth/Summer

Summer hated popularity. She hated being kept in line with everyone else, hated smiling with everyone else. But hate was an attracting force, and when she'd met Marissa in first grade she'd liked the girl, known that behind her sheep exterior there was a mind and an imagination. She'd become popular by default as Marissa smiled her way through school, keeping in step and in line. She pushed when she could, knowing that no one dared to fight back. She learned to act dumb and blond while behind her dark hair thoughts flew through her mind, jokes that no one else would get that made her smile. From her popularity, this made her mysterious, while another little boy was ridiculed for it. She was malicious and honest, told people to their face what everyone else kept behind their backs. She was, however, dedicated to the people she liked, and helped clean up Marissa's messed. In return, Marissa tagged along for the ride and knowingly tidied up the trail of destruction left her wake as she ruthlessly went for what she wanted. Now she was risking that. She's quickly learned where the lines where, where they were flexible in the social hierarchy, where she could get away with doing what she wanted, where she needed to go to stay in her place. One very, very inflexible line was Don't Get Involved With Anyone Dorky. The king of those deemed dorky was Seth Cohen. The kid with all the money, only grandchild to Caleb Cohen, whose name Summer had known since age eight when she realized that money was all that mattered in this world. A kid who laughed at jokes no one got and told people what he thought and shyly admired her. She'd known this forever, held it over him. She was ashamed of that now, felt a little bad, but not enough to risk her popularity over him when she realized he was an okay guy. Then, to the internal scream that ripped through her head, she'd found herself kissing him. And all the kisses from the jocks and the rich brokers paled in comparison, because the kid could kiss. He was nervous, and his hands were sweating, but that was okay with Summer. He made her see fireworks behind her eyes and made her feel like she could do whatever she wanted as she walked away from that first kiss, she knew that he would get her jokes. But it wasn't worth it. Unpopularity was death in her mind, and she was dependant on everything it brought. The protection and the connections and everything she though was unfair and mocked were suddenly being threatened and she realized how important they were. Then Ryan happened. Cohen found more and more confidence, and Marissa fell away from the popularity. Summer was left trailing after Marissa, pointing back at the world where they'd been adored and asking, 'Don't you want that instead?' Marissa gave it all up for Ryan. Anna appeared, and Seth liked her, and Summer was out in the cold. She'd gone after Seth, hoping that, in some way, she wouldn't be completely lost, but he was already laughing at Anna's jokes and sharing his with her and when Summer came after him, almost caught him, he didn't want her anymore. She pretended that she didn't care that no one wanted her anymore. But that was okay, because she didn't want her anymore either.

Bend and not Break, Dashboard Confessionals (I catalog these steps now, decisive and intentioned

Precise and patterned specifically to yours

I'm talented at breathing, especially exhaling

So that my chest will rise and fall with yours

I'm careful not to wake you, fearing conversation

It's better just to hold you and keep pacified

I'm talented with reason, I cover all the angles

I can't fail before I ever try

Try to understand, there is an old mistake that fools will make

And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away

So won't you hold me ? I will not bend, I will not break

Won't you hold me now? For you I rise, for you I fall

I am fairly agile, I can bend and not break

Or I can break and take it with a smile

And I am so resilient, I recover quickly

I'll convince you soon that I am fine)