Icy Cake: Welcome to the reality show that will drive you out of your mind…"The Bachlorette!" Sol's had his wisdom teeth removed, so I'll be speaking for him today! ^_^
Sol: (His face is swollen and he has a look of absolute misery on his face.) Mmph…
Icy Cake: ^_^ Aww…Kawaii! Isn't he cute when he's in intense physical pain? (Slaps his cheek...hard.)
Sol: Grrrrrrrrrrr…
Icy Cake: Oh you're cute when you're angry too! ^_^ Like a vicious little animal!
Sol: … -_-; …
Icy Cake: ^_^ Hehe…the pain killers wore off awhile ago… Now we look at the reviews…then we start the show! ^_^
Rabid Jenna Fan…Sol and I both agree that Sheba is stupid! Felix is cool…his sister…is…ummm…unique!
Mr. Me…Felix will speak more later…as for the wisdom tooth thing…he's over it! Kinda…not really…
Anonymous…glad you like it! Sol didn't expect so many reviews…he was surprised!
Enigma…Sol wants to congratulate you for giving him the shortest review ever! Congratulations Enigma!
Yoshimi Takahashi…Hehe Sol's gonna get tortured more than anyone else! I bother him every chapter! Admittedly a guest will face some…interesting situations…
Shadowthewindadept…Sol says that the Menardi thing popped into his head awhile back…Menardi's a women…maybe…
Wishstar…Picard is more popular so he will be one of the later appearances. And Sol's glad you like Kain, he's an original character from his other GS fic "The Final Trial"…check it out if you haven't already!
Sol: …mmph…
Icy Cake: Be quite, Kawai Sou!
Sol: _ Grrrrrrrrrrrr!
Icy Cake: ^_^ I love insulting him in Japanese! Now on with the show!
(Icy Cake and everyone else except Sol, Alex, Kain and Ivan are in the big fancy room…again.)
Jenna: Where's Sol?
Icy Cake: Looking for Ivan…he got sucked into a black hole a few hours ago…Sols gonna bring him back! ^_^
Kraden: That's impossible, a black hole would crush them into individual atoms!
Icy Cake: …Sol ignores the laws of the universe! Now our pairings for today are…Jenna and Garet!
Jenna: I wanted Felix!
Icy Cake: …Everyone wants Felix… -_-; Even his own sister…sorry Jenna but this fic needs to abide by the laws of decency…that means romantic relationships between you and your brother on the show are banned!
Jenna: But Garets an idiot!
Icy Cake: Doesn't matter…the script was written by Sol, and he specifically said to pair you with Garet for today.
Jenna: &%!*
Icy Cake: However Garet's in the hospital recovering from third degree burns…and he's in a coma! ^_^
Jenna: Really! ^_^ Okay I'll stay with Garet!
Icy Cake: Now Mia is paired with…Saturos!
Mia: But…
Icy Cake: No buts, you're spending the day with Saturos!
Saturos: I'm a piping hot kettle of love baby!
Mia: I think I'm gonna be sick…
Icy Cake: Finally Sheba and Agatio!
Sheba: …
Agatio: Alright! (Does a dance that shakes the room with enormous tremors.)
Icy Cake: Stop dancing Agatio! …By the way, why do you wear those tights?
Agatio: These? They bring out my figure…see! (Lifts kilt.)
Icy Cake: ARRRRRRGH! MY VIRGIN EYES!
Agatio: …
Sheba: ? (Takes a peek…and faints.)
Icy Cake: MY EYES! I'VE BEEN BLINDED!
Agatio: Sorry… (Drops kilt.)
Icy Cake: THE IMAGE IS BURNED INTO MY BRAIN! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Starts clawing at her face.)
Sheba: (Wakes up.) !!!…"LOVE!"
(Sol appears in a flash of light with a small can of soda and a vial.)
Sol: ~Big Goron's Eye drops! Heal anything!~ ^_^
Icy Cake: …You're speaking into my mind?
Sol: ~I'm a Jupiter adept, now take the friggin vial so I can fix Ivan!~ (Holds up soda can that says "Ivan cell sample." on the side.)
(Icy Cake uses eye drops) Much better! …That's Ivan? 0_o?
Sol: ~Uh huh…excuse me for a moment…I need to…fix him.~ (Disappears)
Everyone: …
Ivan fan girls: NOOOOOOOOOOOO! OUR PRECIOUS LITTLE BABY!
Icy Cake: Forget about the fan girls…each of you must spend a day with each other. Jenna you need to take Garet out for a romantic night in Tolbi. Mia and Saturos need to spend time talking about themselves…sharing stories and such. Sheba you need to take Agatio shopping for some better pants! Something that hides… (Shudders) I can't get it out of my mind…just take him shopping while I try to burn this image from my mind.
Contestants: Okay!
Icy Cake: Wait a sec, Sol left a note…oh you need to kiss at the end of the day…
Jenna: NO!
Mia: …By Alchemy's light, say it isn't so…
Sheba: ^_^
Icy Cake: Oh, a note for Sheba. "You must kiss Agatio on the lips! Nowhere else!
Sheba: T_T
Icy Cake: What did he mean? … 0_o! EWWWWWWWWWWW! The thought of it! That's just DIRTY!
Sheba: …
Icy Cake: Damn Sol for having such an active imagination…get going, I don't want to look at you anymore!
(Everyone leaves)
Icy Cake: (Picks up telephone) Hello, I need a lot of booze and four bottles of anti depressant medication…
(The Hospital)
(Garet's wrapped up like a mummy, with only his hair poking out from the bandages.)
Jenna: A night on the town…first we need to get you ready! (Smiles evilly.) This is going to be fun! ^_^
Jenna: First a hair cut! (Try's to cut Garet's hair with some scissors but it won't cut.)
Jenna: Must be all the hair gel…oh well I guess I need to burn it off! ^_^
FWOOSH! SNAP! CRACKLE!
(Garet is now bald…his head is also slightly scorched…but that's no big deal!)
Jenna: (Pulls out a big can of wax.) You're way to hairy Garet! ^_^ But I'll take care of that!
(Jenna lifts sheet.)
(Jenna turns very red…and drops the sheet)
Jenna: …Ummm…it was an accident…
(Lifts sheet again.) ^_^
(Top Secret Observation Room.)
(Sol and Icy Cake are watching perverted Jenna through a hidden camera)
Sol: -_-; …
Icy Cake: (Also bright red with embarrassment.)
Sol: ^_^ (Pulls out a camera and snaps a picture of Icy Cake.)
Icy Cake: HEY! GIVE THAT HERE RIGHT NOW!
Sol: ~In your dreams maybe…~ (Runs away with Icy Cake close behind.)
Sol: ~Remember kids…treasure the moment, with a digital photo!!~ ^_^
Icy Cake: Don't you DARE think of posting that on the Internet or I'm gonna make you wish you hadn't been born!
Sol: ~Also remember that some things are worth the risk!~ ^_^
(The story room.)
Mia: …
Saturos: …
Mia: Where do we start?
Saturos: She said to tell each other things about ourselves…
Mia: You go first!
Saturos: Okay! …I have Super Man on my underpants!
Mia: -_-;
Saturos: Your turn!
Mia: …I…have Wonder Woman on mine…
Saturos: WOW! We're practically soul mates! How many people do you know that wear super hero underwear?
Mia: Few… ^_^
Saturos: ^_^ Lets do our hobbies!
Mia: Okay!
Saturos: I like setting things on fire and stabbing people with my sword!
Mia: I like swimming!
Saturos: I like wet water adepts in bikinis!
Mia: …You're walking a fine line buddy!
Saturos: Sorry…
(Shopping Mall)
Agatio: Tell me about yourself Sheba…
Sheba: ^_^ … … ….. …… ….!
Agatio: 0_o; Ummm…
Sheba: ^_^ (Holds up a pair of loose jeans.)
Agatio: I was hoping for something more villainous…
Sheba: ^_^ (Holds up tight leather pants, a leather jacket and a pair of sun glasses.)
Agatio: I'll try it. (Steps into dressing room. Screams are heard and Agatio runs out.)
Agatio: Are there any single rooms?
Sheba: … (Points to a dressing room marked "Only for those who induce screams of horror in public dressing rooms.")
Agatio: Okay! (Runs in and comes out looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sheba hands him a shotgun completing the look.)
Agatio: I'm starting to think you have a fetish…
Sheba: ^_^
(Tolbi.)
(Jenna dragging Garets unconscious body down the street, purposely bashing him into objects along the way.)
Jenna: Here we are! The Olive Garden! Stay here Garet! (Drops him in the middle of the road and runs inside.)
SCREEEEEECH! SPLAT! THUMP! (Insert sounds of a rolling body here…)
Jenna: Garet! (Sees Garets mangled body in a dumpster.) I told you to stay in the road! …Men are such idiots…except Felix! (Swoons)
Random GS fan: Isn't he your brother!?
Jenna: Yeah! So what!?
Random GS fan: …Your nasty!
Jenna: I AM NOT! (Jenna used Serpent Fume on Random GS fan. Random GS fan is extra crispy and slightly scorched!)
Random GS fan: …It…it…burns…
Jenna: You're still alive? (Uses Serpent Fume again.)
Random GS Fan: SNAP! CRACKLE! POP!
Jenna: Much better! (Drags Garet into the Olive Garden.)
Jenna: I want a table!
Waiter: You will need to wait a moment until that family finishes their son's birthday party. (Points at a kid and his parents who are about to serve a cake.)
Jenna: Oh…SERPENT FUME!
FWOOSH! KABOOM! MOMMY! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Jenna: They're done, now give me the table!
Waiter: 0_o! Of course! Follow me!
Garet: Hmm…where am I?
Jenna: You're awake?
Garet: Who am I?
Jenna: …You don't know your name?
Garet: What's a name?
Jenna: -_-; Amnesia mixed with natural stupidity…great…
(Back at the mall)
Cashier: That will be 10000 gold pieces.
Agatio: What!? What if I take off this cell phone?
Cashier:5000…
Agatio: Alright. (Puts the cell phone down on the shelf.) Lets pay for this and be done with it…
Sheba: T_T
Agatio: I know you wanted a cell phone/TV/Dishwasher/Laser Cannon but I can't afford it right now!
Sheba: T_T
(Agatio pays the cashier and they begin to walk out of the mall."
Cashier: Huh? Where'd the phone go? (Pulls out his own cell phone and dials a number.)
RIIIIIING!
Agatio: ? (Turns to see Sheba frantically trying to keep the cell phone hidden in her blouse from ringing and vibrating wildly.)
Cashier: There she is! It's in her blouse!
Sheba: … ~-~;
Agatio: Here's the phone. (Hands cashier the phone.)
Cashier: I'm afraid we need to do a full cavity search! (Guards appear all around them.)
Agatio: A cavity search?
Cashier: Search all their orifices! Leave no hole unchecked!
Sheba & Agatio: 0_0!
(They're dragged into a concrete room.)
Cashier: Stay very still…this won't take long! (Puts on a rubber glove.)
Agatio: Wait I can… O.O!
Sheba: 0_o!
Cashier: The girl next!
Sheba: 0.0!
(The story room)
Saturos: Then Menardi hit me with the boat oar again, and again, and again…
Mia: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…
Saturos: And again, and again, and again…
Mia: THUMP ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ………………………………
Saturos: Have you ever been slapped with a boat oar?
Mia: ZZZZZZZZ…Hmmm? Ummmmm…no.
Saturos: You should try it! Its really quite fun!
Mia: 0_o…
(The Olive Garden.)
Garet: What do I do with this cheese grater again?
Jenna: You scrape it against your face!
Garet: Okay! (Starts scraping his face with the cheese grater.) Ouch, Ouch, Ouch…this hurts lady…
Jenna: Here dump this on your cuts. (Gives Garet 100% alcohol concentrate.)
Garet: Okay! (Dumps it on his face.) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! IT STINGS! (Starts tearing at his face with both hands.)
Jenna: He may be stupid…but this was definitely worth it… ^_^
(Control Room)
(Sol is still working on fixing Ivan.)
Sol: ~This is taking too long!~ SNAP
POOF! (Ivan appears.)
Ivan: …
Icy Cake: Is he the same Ivan?
Ivan: I'm not a midget!
Sol: ^_^ …!…
Sol: T_T
Icy Cake: He forgot that he couldn't smile! ^_^
Sol: Grrrrrrr…
Icy Cake: Awwww…look he's growling again! ^_^
Sol: -_-;
Icy Cake: Hehehe…
(Sol holds up his digital camera.)
Icy Cake: You post that picture and you'll wish the dentist had giving you morphine!
Sol: …
Icy Cake: Okay the days up, all contestants please return to the "Fancy Room" immediately.
(The Fancy Room)
Icy Cake: All right lets see what we have here…a note from the doctor saying that Garet is in the hospital again, for new injuries… (Shrugs) Did you kiss him Jenna?
Jenna: Nope! ^_^
Icy Cake: …What about you Mia?
Mia: Nope!
Icy Cake: Sheba? (Looks around and dosent see her or Agatio.) Where're Sheba and Agatio?
Cashier: They have been detained for a full cavity search!
Sol: O_O!
Icy Cake: What's a cavity search?
Everyone: … (Crickets chirp in the background.)
Icy Cake: …Alright then, Jenna and Mia, prepare for your punishment!
Jenna & Mia: Punishment!?
Icy Cake: Yes…you must…(Looks at list) 0_o! Ewwwwwww…Sol!
Sol: ^_^ …! SNAP!
Sol: (Falls on the floor tears pouring down his face.)
Icy Cake:Hehehe…he broke his stitches! ^_^
Sol: T_T
Icy Cake: MIa you need to sleep with Babi in the freezer tonight…
Mia: Ewwwwwwwwwww!
Icy Cake: Jenna you get to spend the night with…0_0! …Kraden…
Everyone: Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Icy Cake: All contestants must go to bed now…be up early tomorrow for the next challenge! Oh by the way, reviewers please pick one of the three men that appeared on the show today to be voted off. Your choices are Garet, Saturos and Agatio! The one with the most votes gets kicked off the show!
Sol: ^_^ SNAP! RIP!
Sol: T_T!
Icy Cake: Hehe…time for a behind the scenes look at everyone!
(The Freezer.)
Mia: This sucks! (Shivers) I have to spend my night with a stiff!
Babi: …
Mia: Shut up Babi!
(Kradens Bungalow.)
Kraden: Come here cutie!
Jenna: Get away from me, you dirty old man!
Kraden: This old dog has plenty of life in him! ~_^
Jenna: O.O; GET ME OUTTA HERE!
(Mall-The Concrete Room.)
Agatio: OoO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sheba: 0o0! ……………………………!
Cashier: Deeper!
Agatio: NO DEEPER!
(The Hospital.)
Icy Cake: How are you doing Alex?
Alex: Fine…Sol kept the place sealed up tight from fan girls…
Icy Cake: Good…excuse me for a minute. (Walks into next room.)
Voice: Please don't hurt me! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE PAIN! NO! MY ARM DOSENT BEND THAT WAY! SNAP! ARGH!
Icy Cake: Hehehehehehe!
Voice: NO NOT MY RIBS! CRACK! SNAP! CRUNCH! ARGH! THUMP
Alex: Poor Kain… (Shrugs) better him than I…
(Coffee Room)
(Sol's sitting alone, swallowing painkillers and penicillin.)
Sol: ~Fate hates me…oh, hi there…I'm still recovering from my open mouth surgery, so accept my apologies if this chapter seems…odd. The fact that a dentist drilled holes in my head has left me…distracted, and the painkillers have warped my mind... I'll try to update soon, but it might need to wait until later in the week. Now vote for the character I should kick off! Remember Garet, Saturos and Agatio are the choices!~ ^_^
SNAP!
Sol: T_T ~I hate my life…~