Title: First comes the Dark, Then comes the Light
Author: Nikita
"Wes? What's up?" Gunn asked.
"I still don't know where she is, but I spoke with the nurse again and this time she had remembered Buffy." Wesley said.
"Really? What did she say?" Cordelia asked.
"She couldn't tell what Buffy's complaint was because she didn't know. What she did know was that Buffy had come into the e.r. screaming for help. They rushed her into a room and the next thing the nurse knows, she was being taken into surgery. The next evening when she came on again, Buffy was gone. She had left earlier in the day without being released, taking her records with her. Her bills were later paid in full, but there is no record of that either." Wesley said.
Angel looked at Anne.
"Why is she destroying her records?" he asked.
"She didn't want anyone to know. We destroyed every trace of her we could think of." Anne said.
"Why? What happened that was so horrible that it warranted destroying records?" Angel asked.
"I can't tell you that." Anne said remorsefully.
"You were telling about the last time you talked to her?" Angel said realizing she wouldn't tell him no matter what.
"Right. So anyways, I thought she'd have a happy ending. See, four months after she had gone home I got an excited phone call from her. He was back, somehow, and they were going to try and work things out. She was so happy, I just..." Anne blushed slightly. "I actually cried. I was just so happy to hear her sounding like her old self."
The room grew quiet as Anne gathered herself together.
"She was so hopeful. The next thing I know the guy has left her. I wish I knew who he was, I'd kill him." Anne took a breath. "Though I guess it isn't his fault. I doubt he knows what happened here either. Buffy is just so protective of that. He said he was leaving her for all these reasons. He's crazy. She'll never have those things as long as she lives anyway. At least they could have been happy together. He really left though. I told her she needed to talk to him, really talk to him and she refused. Said she wouldn't guilt trip him into staying if he had his heart set on going. She's a better woman than me, let me tell you. I'd have guilt tripped. Boy would I have guilt tripped." Anne said shaking her head.
If Angel had looked pale before, he resembled a ghost now.
"Then I got a call saying that she had found a new guy. `He wasn't what I had before but he's something. He seems to care about me.' I nearly cried again. She seemed okay though. She stopped by a little over a month ago. Said she was here visiting her dad and stopped by to see me. I have a job as a counselor to other lost kids and she wanted to see how it was going." Anne said smiling.
"Anne, do you have any idea where she is now?" Angel asked.
"No I don't." Anne thought for a moment. "Is she in trouble?"
"No, we're just worried. She just left with no word or warning. I just want to make sure she is really okay." Angel said.
Anne thought some more than took a breath.
"She'll be here in a week." she said quietly.
"How do you know?" Angel asked growing hopeful.
"Because nothing but death could keep her away." Anne said standing.
"Thank you." Angel said.
Anne nodded.
"She has been my best friend and even when she was going through her hell, she still looked out for me. I just wish she could finally be happy. She deserves it." she said as she left the hotel.
"Wow." Gunn said.
"All the secrecy though. Why is she hiding?" Cordelia asked.
"What is she hiding?" Gunn asked.
"It's bad Angel, whatever it is. Rose said she remembered how scared the girl was. She had lost a lot of blood and then at one point grabbed Rose's arm and begged her `not to let this happen' as she put it." Wesley said.
"I'm starting to get this horrible feeling." Angel said.
"Think I'm getting it to." Cordelia said shaking her head.
"What do you mean?" Gunn questioned.
"Well, the trip to the hospital, the loss of blood, Buffy begging the nurse not to let it happen? Not to mention the way Anne said no girl should have to go through it? Guys, I think she was raped." Cordelia said.
The gang just sat there stunned.
"Can't be it." Angel said shaking his head.
"I know it's not a pretty thought..."Gunn started.
"No, I mean that can't be it. She didn't act like a rape victim. She still let me hold her and she never flinched from me at all. Xander either for that matter. Had she been raped, she would have exhibited some sort of sign. Not to mention, she wouldn't be asking the urse not to let it happen. It owuld have already happened." Angel said as he began pacing.
"So then what?" Cordelia asked. "What shouldn't any girl go through?"
"Go another route. Anne said Buffy mentioned the reasons I was leaving and that it was stupid. Which reason struck her as being stupid?" Angel asked.
"What were the reasons?" Gunn asked.
"I wanted her to have a normal life. I told her she'd want kids and want to get married. She needed someone who could take her out into the light." Angel said quietly.
"Sounds like rape man." Gunn said.
Angel shook his head.
He replayed the conversation. He went over her reactions and what was said.
"I'm missing it." he growled.
The gang just watched him as he tried to piece the puzzle together.
***
It had been a little over a month since Buffy had come to this Snakecreek. She was so grateful the town didn't live up to it's name. The nightmares stopped after a couple of weeks and her and Ginger had become fast friends. She felt truly free. She missed the gang though. She would be going to L.A. in a few days, she might stop and see them.
L.A. That darkened her mood. She thought about not going this time and then just as quickly, banished the thought. She would go no matter what. She had too. She sighed as she unlocked her door. She flung herself on the bed. She just hoped she could go and get back without a big scene. Was that to much to hope for?
***
Angel had shelved the investigation, trusting that Anne had told the truth about Buffy coming back to L.A.,though he continued to try and figure out what it was that he was missing. His senses were on overdrive as he waited for the tingle that said she was near. Sure enough, a few days later...it went off.
***
Buffy arrived in L.A. in the evening. She hesitated for a moment before stepping outside of the station. She began walking.
&&&
"Yeah Lily, we have easy mac!" she called out to her roommate.
"Cool. Let's eat that tonight. Easy, no fuss." Lilly called back.
"All right." Buffy called back as she began preparing their dinner.
She hummed as she moved around the kitchen. Suddenly her hand flew to her stomach as she doubled over in pain.
&&&
She wore black pants with a black tank top. She wore a black jacket over that and her hair was covered by a black scarf. She supposed by now she could start wearing color but she could never bring herself to do so. In her mind, she was still in a black mood so why not wear it? Not like anyone would know anyway. She sighed as she entered the cemetery. She hated this.
&&&
Buffy sat there in the hospital stunned. She felt as though all the air in her body had just been knocked out of her. The doctor had just come in to tell her what had happened. How could it be true?
&&&
She headed to the center.
***
Unbeknown to Buffy, Angel had found her and begun to follow her. He was surprised she ended up at the cemetery, even more surprised when she went in. He followed her in a sense of dread settling in his stomach.
***
She stopped at a grave that had an angel as a tombstone. The angel was made of black marble and stood with its hands over its heart and it wings folded. It looked down at the ground as though watching over what lay beneath the dirt. Buffy stopped and caught her breath.
"Hi sweetie. Mommy's back." she whispered laying the roses on the ground next to the angel's base.
***
Angel nearly fainted on the spot. He had thought of this possibility but had prayed he was wrong. Now with the truth staring him in the face, he was thankful he didn't have to breathe.
***
Buffy knelt down on the ground.
"I miss you. So much." she sighed. "I left Sunnydale. Just for awhile. I needed time to think. After I lost you I jumped right back into my life so fast that I never stopped to realize I'm not that girl anymore. Then your dad leaving me for...more kids...idiot. I just shut down again. Funny, it took seeing him move on before I could. I guess, I thought maybe if I could get us back to what we once were maybe I could get you back too. I know it sounds dumb but hey, can you blame me? I won't get to hold you ever. I don't get to see you grow up." Buffy stopped as she struggled to get a hold of her emotions.
***
Angel wasn't doing much better. Buffy was a mother? He was the father? How? As far as he knew he couldn't have kids.
To say he was shocked would be an understatement. He couldn't believe she had gone through this and he never knew. Had no clue at all.
***
"I'm sorry I didn't do right Angie. I wish I could redo that time but honestly I don't know what it is I did wrong. I read all the books, I took the vitamins and the supplements." she sighed. "I'm sorry sweetie, once again this has turned into a crying fest. I miss you, I wish you were here with me. You are always in my heart. Don't forget that." she said as she stood. Turning from the grave she nearly screamed. Angel was standing right there watching her.
Author: Nikita
"Wes? What's up?" Gunn asked.
"I still don't know where she is, but I spoke with the nurse again and this time she had remembered Buffy." Wesley said.
"Really? What did she say?" Cordelia asked.
"She couldn't tell what Buffy's complaint was because she didn't know. What she did know was that Buffy had come into the e.r. screaming for help. They rushed her into a room and the next thing the nurse knows, she was being taken into surgery. The next evening when she came on again, Buffy was gone. She had left earlier in the day without being released, taking her records with her. Her bills were later paid in full, but there is no record of that either." Wesley said.
Angel looked at Anne.
"Why is she destroying her records?" he asked.
"She didn't want anyone to know. We destroyed every trace of her we could think of." Anne said.
"Why? What happened that was so horrible that it warranted destroying records?" Angel asked.
"I can't tell you that." Anne said remorsefully.
"You were telling about the last time you talked to her?" Angel said realizing she wouldn't tell him no matter what.
"Right. So anyways, I thought she'd have a happy ending. See, four months after she had gone home I got an excited phone call from her. He was back, somehow, and they were going to try and work things out. She was so happy, I just..." Anne blushed slightly. "I actually cried. I was just so happy to hear her sounding like her old self."
The room grew quiet as Anne gathered herself together.
"She was so hopeful. The next thing I know the guy has left her. I wish I knew who he was, I'd kill him." Anne took a breath. "Though I guess it isn't his fault. I doubt he knows what happened here either. Buffy is just so protective of that. He said he was leaving her for all these reasons. He's crazy. She'll never have those things as long as she lives anyway. At least they could have been happy together. He really left though. I told her she needed to talk to him, really talk to him and she refused. Said she wouldn't guilt trip him into staying if he had his heart set on going. She's a better woman than me, let me tell you. I'd have guilt tripped. Boy would I have guilt tripped." Anne said shaking her head.
If Angel had looked pale before, he resembled a ghost now.
"Then I got a call saying that she had found a new guy. `He wasn't what I had before but he's something. He seems to care about me.' I nearly cried again. She seemed okay though. She stopped by a little over a month ago. Said she was here visiting her dad and stopped by to see me. I have a job as a counselor to other lost kids and she wanted to see how it was going." Anne said smiling.
"Anne, do you have any idea where she is now?" Angel asked.
"No I don't." Anne thought for a moment. "Is she in trouble?"
"No, we're just worried. She just left with no word or warning. I just want to make sure she is really okay." Angel said.
Anne thought some more than took a breath.
"She'll be here in a week." she said quietly.
"How do you know?" Angel asked growing hopeful.
"Because nothing but death could keep her away." Anne said standing.
"Thank you." Angel said.
Anne nodded.
"She has been my best friend and even when she was going through her hell, she still looked out for me. I just wish she could finally be happy. She deserves it." she said as she left the hotel.
"Wow." Gunn said.
"All the secrecy though. Why is she hiding?" Cordelia asked.
"What is she hiding?" Gunn asked.
"It's bad Angel, whatever it is. Rose said she remembered how scared the girl was. She had lost a lot of blood and then at one point grabbed Rose's arm and begged her `not to let this happen' as she put it." Wesley said.
"I'm starting to get this horrible feeling." Angel said.
"Think I'm getting it to." Cordelia said shaking her head.
"What do you mean?" Gunn questioned.
"Well, the trip to the hospital, the loss of blood, Buffy begging the nurse not to let it happen? Not to mention the way Anne said no girl should have to go through it? Guys, I think she was raped." Cordelia said.
The gang just sat there stunned.
"Can't be it." Angel said shaking his head.
"I know it's not a pretty thought..."Gunn started.
"No, I mean that can't be it. She didn't act like a rape victim. She still let me hold her and she never flinched from me at all. Xander either for that matter. Had she been raped, she would have exhibited some sort of sign. Not to mention, she wouldn't be asking the urse not to let it happen. It owuld have already happened." Angel said as he began pacing.
"So then what?" Cordelia asked. "What shouldn't any girl go through?"
"Go another route. Anne said Buffy mentioned the reasons I was leaving and that it was stupid. Which reason struck her as being stupid?" Angel asked.
"What were the reasons?" Gunn asked.
"I wanted her to have a normal life. I told her she'd want kids and want to get married. She needed someone who could take her out into the light." Angel said quietly.
"Sounds like rape man." Gunn said.
Angel shook his head.
He replayed the conversation. He went over her reactions and what was said.
"I'm missing it." he growled.
The gang just watched him as he tried to piece the puzzle together.
***
It had been a little over a month since Buffy had come to this Snakecreek. She was so grateful the town didn't live up to it's name. The nightmares stopped after a couple of weeks and her and Ginger had become fast friends. She felt truly free. She missed the gang though. She would be going to L.A. in a few days, she might stop and see them.
L.A. That darkened her mood. She thought about not going this time and then just as quickly, banished the thought. She would go no matter what. She had too. She sighed as she unlocked her door. She flung herself on the bed. She just hoped she could go and get back without a big scene. Was that to much to hope for?
***
Angel had shelved the investigation, trusting that Anne had told the truth about Buffy coming back to L.A.,though he continued to try and figure out what it was that he was missing. His senses were on overdrive as he waited for the tingle that said she was near. Sure enough, a few days later...it went off.
***
Buffy arrived in L.A. in the evening. She hesitated for a moment before stepping outside of the station. She began walking.
&&&
"Yeah Lily, we have easy mac!" she called out to her roommate.
"Cool. Let's eat that tonight. Easy, no fuss." Lilly called back.
"All right." Buffy called back as she began preparing their dinner.
She hummed as she moved around the kitchen. Suddenly her hand flew to her stomach as she doubled over in pain.
&&&
She wore black pants with a black tank top. She wore a black jacket over that and her hair was covered by a black scarf. She supposed by now she could start wearing color but she could never bring herself to do so. In her mind, she was still in a black mood so why not wear it? Not like anyone would know anyway. She sighed as she entered the cemetery. She hated this.
&&&
Buffy sat there in the hospital stunned. She felt as though all the air in her body had just been knocked out of her. The doctor had just come in to tell her what had happened. How could it be true?
&&&
She headed to the center.
***
Unbeknown to Buffy, Angel had found her and begun to follow her. He was surprised she ended up at the cemetery, even more surprised when she went in. He followed her in a sense of dread settling in his stomach.
***
She stopped at a grave that had an angel as a tombstone. The angel was made of black marble and stood with its hands over its heart and it wings folded. It looked down at the ground as though watching over what lay beneath the dirt. Buffy stopped and caught her breath.
"Hi sweetie. Mommy's back." she whispered laying the roses on the ground next to the angel's base.
***
Angel nearly fainted on the spot. He had thought of this possibility but had prayed he was wrong. Now with the truth staring him in the face, he was thankful he didn't have to breathe.
***
Buffy knelt down on the ground.
"I miss you. So much." she sighed. "I left Sunnydale. Just for awhile. I needed time to think. After I lost you I jumped right back into my life so fast that I never stopped to realize I'm not that girl anymore. Then your dad leaving me for...more kids...idiot. I just shut down again. Funny, it took seeing him move on before I could. I guess, I thought maybe if I could get us back to what we once were maybe I could get you back too. I know it sounds dumb but hey, can you blame me? I won't get to hold you ever. I don't get to see you grow up." Buffy stopped as she struggled to get a hold of her emotions.
***
Angel wasn't doing much better. Buffy was a mother? He was the father? How? As far as he knew he couldn't have kids.
To say he was shocked would be an understatement. He couldn't believe she had gone through this and he never knew. Had no clue at all.
***
"I'm sorry I didn't do right Angie. I wish I could redo that time but honestly I don't know what it is I did wrong. I read all the books, I took the vitamins and the supplements." she sighed. "I'm sorry sweetie, once again this has turned into a crying fest. I miss you, I wish you were here with me. You are always in my heart. Don't forget that." she said as she stood. Turning from the grave she nearly screamed. Angel was standing right there watching her.