Disclaimer: The same applies.

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Cheers

Chapter 19: Reliving the Past

Yet another party, and Tristan was, to put it simply, bored out of his mind. Every one of these get-togethers only served to remind him of the tediousness of the life already planned out for him, of the life he would forever be doomed to: a never-ending charade of black-tie events, of single-minded ruthlessness and frivolity hidden behind polite, cultured conversation and smiling, agreeable faces. Then again, maybe it wasn't all that bad. Maybe. Someone shoot me, please.

Shaking off his gloomy thoughts, Tristan picked up another glass of champagne and proceeded to make the rounds, saying hello to his hosts, exchanging trivial bits of news with fellow guests, looking the part of the bored, sophisticated but nonetheless utterly charming young man of estimable breeding and social standing. Jess Mariano would have undoubtedly been highly amused by the entire proceeding. 

Walking up the grand staircase of his hosts' impressive home, Tristan allowed his gaze to wander briefly over the guests gathered in the foyer below him before dismissing them just as quickly. Slipping past a well-dressed couple on their way downstairs, Tristan presently found himself standing the doorway of a darkened empty room. Straining his eyes, he looked around and located the 'On' switch on a side panel.

Light flooded the massive room as he looked around impassively, running his eyes over the huge tapestries and gilded framed portraits hanging on the walls. A piano stood in the corner silently, a symbol of the past – his past. Images of his youth flitted across his consciousness, along with vague recollections of young love thwarted. Walking slowly in the direction of the piano, Tristan allowed himself to smile at the irony of it all.

The memories were clearer now, and he could once again feel the longing and frustrations he'd felt as a brash, arrogant sixteen year old, a prince in the shallow, confusing world of the Hartford elite. In a sense, Rory Gilmore had been the one to save him. She'd shattered the illusions he'd clung to, the false ideals he'd been expected to uphold, and she'd made him see a whole new world beyond the one he'd been ensconced in. And although it had taken him a long time to admit it, although it had taken him a long time to make peace with his tumultuous, unresolved past with her, Tristan now knew that she had been his saviour.

He sat down at the piano, absently running his fingers across the ivory keys, recalling the half-forgotten music lessons of his youth. Tristan stayed this way for a few minutes, fingers moving up and down the keys with a nimbleness he thought he had long since lost. Hearing a sudden noise, he looking up sharply, frowning at the sudden unwelcome intrusion.

"I should've known I'd find you here."

With that simple sentence, Tristan felt his earlier hostility at being interrupted melting away, and he felt his lips quirk into a smile as he watched Rory Gilmore fidgeting by the doorway, as though she wasn't altogether sure if she should come into the room or turn and leave. "Hey." 

The faintly anxious expression on Rory's face vanished as Tristan gestured for her to come closer, and she responded with an endearing grin of her own. As she walked across the room and sat down beside him, it felt exactly as it had been all those years ago… Only things were different now. He couldn't forget that.

She glanced at him, her eyes playful, teasing. "Kind of like old times, huh?"

"Yeah, except that now I'm not allowed to kiss you."

They were silent for a moment, the fleeting lull filled by the sound of Tristan's fingers running lightly over the keys. Rory turned to him. "Do you know what I just realized? We never kept in touch after you left for North Carolina."

It was a statement more than a question, and Tristan didn't quite know how to respond. Avoiding Rory's intent gaze, he pretended to focus on his hands. "Yeah well, things happened." He inwardly winced when he heard himself say that, aware of how weak it sounded. "Besides, I figured you'd be busy and wouldn't have time for me anyway." He spoke lightly, even though he meant what he'd said.

"Get off it, Tristan," Rory rolled her eyes, nudging him lightly with her shoulder. "You know I would've done something if you'd kept in touch. But you didn't, so whose fault is that?"

"Okay, fine," Tristan grudgingly conceded, smiling nevertheless. "It's my fault. You win." He shared in her laughter for a moment, watching as her eyes shone with merriment. He'd forgotten how nice it was to sit with Rory, to laugh with her, to just talk. He hadn't done that in awhile, and it occurred to him how much he missed that.

"Seriously though," Rory said after their laughter had faded away. "Why didn't you keep in touch anyway?" Tristan watched with something akin to amusement as her cheeks suddenly flushed, and he smiled.

"I don't know. I guess I was still messed up about everything." He shrugged nonchalantly as he looked at her.

"Well…" And here Rory hesitated before blushing again. "I missed you."

Tristan held her gaze for a split second before looking away again. "I missed you too."

Rory leaned back on her hands as she gazed at Tristan thoughtfully. "So how was North Carolina anyway? I never had the chance to ask you what you got up to there."

"North Carolina was hell," Tristan smiled, shaking his head at the memory. "And I got into a lot of trouble."

"Tristan…" There was a tinge of disappointment in her eyes.

"I was a pretty messed up kid. What can I say?" He grinned before becoming serious again. "Hey Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"I know I gave you a hard time for awhile in Chilton." He looked down self-consciously. "I was a jerk, and I'm sorry."

A teasing smile tugged at the corners of Rory's mouth as she looked at Tristan. "Okay, now I'm really having flashbacks to Madeline's party."  They laughed once more, and as their laughter dried up, Tristan became aware of the fact they were in danger of running out of things to say, which was something that wouldn't have ever happened had they been sixteen. It was funny, and kind of sad even, how things changed over time.

They sat together awkwardly for a few moments, until Tristan cleared his throat and attempted to rekindle the conversation. "So, what do you want to talk about?" Lame, lame, inexcusably lame!

Rory sighed, conveying her annoyance in that one gusty sound. "Please, anything but the wedding. If I have to talk one more time about which florist I've hired for the wedding or how many courses there'll be to the reception dinner, I swear I'll scream."

"Okay, fair enough." Tristan smiled mischievously. "You wanna make out then?"

She rolled her eyes and smacked him lightly on the arm. "You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"I've been told that a couple of times," Tristan grinned, and then let his eyes travel around the room again before settling onto Rory. "So where's Robert?"

Was it just his imagination, or did Rory's lips tighten for a moment? "He had a previous engagement."

He nodded sympathetically. "Work, huh?"

"Yup."

Tristan shrugged. "It figures." He waited for Rory to rush to her fiancé's defence as she always did, but she remained silent. That's a first. Tristan straightened up. "So how're you doing? Looking forward to the wedding?"

An unreadable expression flashed across Rory's clear blue eyes, and then she smiled dully. "I was really excited about everything at first, but now I don't know. It's like Robert's changed. It feels like I don't know him anymore, like I'm not even sure if I… Never mind." She hesitated, shooting Tristan a nervous look. "Does this make me a bad person?" 

Tristan gazed at her earnestly for a moment. "No, it just makes you someone who wants to marry for the right reasons."

"It's crazy for me to be having second thoughts about this." Rory shifted fretfully. "Robert loves me, and I know he'll take care of me. And I'll get to be a stay-at-home mom. That's good right?"

"It's your choice, Rory. I can't tell you what to do." Tristan looked down. "As long as you're sure this marriage is worth sacrificing your dreams for."

"I don't want to give up my dreams," Rory exclaimed heatedly before looking embarrassed for her outburst. "I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do?"

It felt awful not being able to tell Rory about his reservations, about what he suspected to be Robert's motives, but Tristan wisely kept quiet. Instead, he chose to give her what he hoped was an encouraging smile. "Well, the only thing I can tell is you is to do what you feel is right. And I know you'll do the right thing in the end."

It seemed as though there was something else Rory wanted to say, but she looked away instead, her face miserable. Taking pity on her, Tristan stood up and held out his hand. "Come on, I think it's time we rejoined the party. What do you say?"

"Yeah," she smiled up at him, relief flooding her delicate features, relief at being able to drop the subject for the moment. "Okay."

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To Be Continued…