Hey everyone! Thanks for the FANTASTIC outpour of reviews on chapter 13.
Oh, and for those of you who thought I might be heading towards abortion, I
promise I am not. I wouldn't do that in a fanfic im pretty sure is rated
PG! Lol! Anyway, here's chapter 14. It's a little short, and for that I
apologize, but it needs to end on the note it does. Anyway, please enjoy,
and REVIEW just like chp 13!
Disclaimer: the characters aren't mine, except for Ryan and Micaela.
Chapter Fourteen
It took Chandler a second to even comprehend what Monica had just said. Monica, who loved her children more than anything didn't want their baby? How could she feel that way? This wasn't some teenage girl Chandler had gotten pregnant. This was Monica, a responsible woman who was a fantastic mother. Finally, after all those thoughts finished whizzing through Chandler's head he looked Monica in the eye and said, "What?"
Monica choked back a sob as she whispered, "Chandler, I don't think I can have this baby."
"But........but why?"
Monica was silent for a long time, looking down at her lap, wringing her hands. "Chandler," she finally whispered, "After Richard died and before you came, I......struggled every second to raise just two children. It's the hardest thing in the world, raising them by yourself when they're so used to having a daddy around, too. So if......if I have another baby, and something happens to you, Chandler, there's just no way I'd be able to raise three kids by myself. I couldn't do it."
Chandler spoke no words but simply pulled her in closer to him. "Oh, Mon," he murmured, stroking her hair. Finally, he gathered his thoughts and said, "Monica, first off.....if something did happen to me, and God forbid it did, I know you would be able to cope with three kids. You know why? Because you are the strongest woman on the planet and you have an amazing ability to cope with anything. I certainly wouldn't want to make you raise three kids alone, but I know you'd learn to do it. And there'd be so many people who'd help you, you know that. Ross and Rachel, and you know my friend Joey would be here in a second if you needed him. But, Mon.......I don't plan on going anywhere, you know that. So the only way you'd have to worry about me leaving is if I died. And Mon, we can't predict our deaths, okay? You could die just as easily as I could and then I'd be raising the kids. So yeah, there's a chance that one of us could die, but there's also a chance that we could both live until we're old and gray. But, Mon, in order to actually live a life......you can't constantly be worrying about that small chance that something might happen."
Monica looked at him, "You're right," she whispered, "This just......it came at a bad time.....it's almost the anniversary and........Chandler, I miss him. I miss him so much," those were the only words she got out before she broke down sobbing.
Chandler knew words wouldn't help this time. So he pulled his arms around her tighter and rocked her back and forth, gently stroking her hair. Just letting her cry.
He knew that was what she needed.
***
When Ryan and Micaela arrived home from school that afternoon, both were thrilled to find Chandler sitting on the couch. "Chandler!" Micaela squealed as she hopped into his lap. "You're here!"
"Yep, sweets, I am. And I have to say, Cae, excellent play the other night!"
Micaela grinned, "Thanks, Chandler."
Ryan eyed Chandler closely, "You came back," he said softly.
"Yep, bud, I did," Chandler said, not wanting to go into it more in front of Micaela. "Hey, Cae, why don't you go play in the playroom, okay? I'll be there in a few minutes."
"'Kay! Hey, where's Mommy?" Micaela asked.
"She's sleeping, honey. Don't bother her, okay?" Micaela nodded and ran off. Chandler motioned for Ryan to sit down.
"Did you and Mom make up?" Ryan asked.
Chandler nodded, "We did. Ry, I just wanted to thank you. It was a good idea to call, and it helped a lot."
Ryan smiled. "I knew it would," he said, "What were you fighting about anyway?"
Chandler sighed, "We weren't.....fighting. Your mom was just a little bit sad, Ry."
"How come?"
Chandler smiled. Ryan wanted to know every little detail, didn't he? "Well, Ry, she just.......she missed your dad an awful lot."
Ryan looked down at his feet, "Even though you're here?" he asked.
Chandler nodded, "It's okay to miss people even if there are new people in your life. I don't mind that your mom misses him."
"So you......you wouldn't mind if I missed him?" Ryan asked.
"Oh, Ry.....of course not. You have every right to miss your dad."
Ryan sighed softly, "'Cause I do," he whispered, "I miss him a lot. I mean, you do a lot of the stuff he used to do, but.....I just, I still miss him."
"I know you do, Ry. And as much as I hate to say this, you probably always will. Nothing's ever going to take away that pain of someone missing from your life."
"So I'm always gonna be sad?"
Chandler chuckled, "No, Ry, you're not always going to be sad, unless you force yourself to be. Because I think......I think your dad would really want you to be happy, even if he's not here. But you're not going to forget him."
Ryan smiled, "No, I'm not. But you're right, he'd want us to be happy."
Chandler nodded, and shooed Ryan off the couch, "Okay, bud, then let's go play that game of basketball I promised you."
Ryan grinned, and ran off to grab his sneakers. But before he reached the closet, he turned to Chandler, "Hey, Chandler?" he said, "Thanks."
"For what?" Chandler asked, confused.
"Making us happy again," Ryan said, and ran off to grab his sneakers.
***
Chandler let an exhausted Monica sleep through the afternoon, feeding the kids himself, helping them with their homework and finally, putting them to bed. Finally, after Ryan and Micaela had already been sleeping an hour, Monica wandered back into the living room.
"Hey, sleepyhead," he said gently as she collapsed onto the couch next to him, "How're you feeling?"
"Much better," Monica said softly, "I haven't really slept in so long."
Chandler nodded, "Are you, uh, ready to talk about all of this now?"
Monica sighed, "I guess so," she said, "What's there to talk about? You're right, I am going to keep the baby, so what else is there?"
Chandler sighed, "Well......there's us. What's happening with us?"
"What do you mean? Aren't you going to stay?"
Chandler laughed, "Of course I am! Did you think I was going to leave you?"
"It went through my head," she said.
"I'd never do that, and you know it. No, I'm staying. What I mean is.....do you want everything to stay like this, even though we're having a baby? Do you want to stay boyfriend and girlfriend? Or get married? Because you know I'd marry you in a second. Just say the word and I'd propose right here and now."
Monica sighed and pulled away, "Chandler.....with all that's happening, I just.....I just don't think it's the best idea right now. Maybe later, when things have settled down, but......right now I'm just not ready."
Chandler smiled forcefully, "Okay," he lied, "Whatever you want. You know I'll do whatever you want."
Monica sighed, and leaned back into his arms, wondering if, indeed that was really what she wanted.
PLEASE REVIEW!
Disclaimer: the characters aren't mine, except for Ryan and Micaela.
Chapter Fourteen
It took Chandler a second to even comprehend what Monica had just said. Monica, who loved her children more than anything didn't want their baby? How could she feel that way? This wasn't some teenage girl Chandler had gotten pregnant. This was Monica, a responsible woman who was a fantastic mother. Finally, after all those thoughts finished whizzing through Chandler's head he looked Monica in the eye and said, "What?"
Monica choked back a sob as she whispered, "Chandler, I don't think I can have this baby."
"But........but why?"
Monica was silent for a long time, looking down at her lap, wringing her hands. "Chandler," she finally whispered, "After Richard died and before you came, I......struggled every second to raise just two children. It's the hardest thing in the world, raising them by yourself when they're so used to having a daddy around, too. So if......if I have another baby, and something happens to you, Chandler, there's just no way I'd be able to raise three kids by myself. I couldn't do it."
Chandler spoke no words but simply pulled her in closer to him. "Oh, Mon," he murmured, stroking her hair. Finally, he gathered his thoughts and said, "Monica, first off.....if something did happen to me, and God forbid it did, I know you would be able to cope with three kids. You know why? Because you are the strongest woman on the planet and you have an amazing ability to cope with anything. I certainly wouldn't want to make you raise three kids alone, but I know you'd learn to do it. And there'd be so many people who'd help you, you know that. Ross and Rachel, and you know my friend Joey would be here in a second if you needed him. But, Mon.......I don't plan on going anywhere, you know that. So the only way you'd have to worry about me leaving is if I died. And Mon, we can't predict our deaths, okay? You could die just as easily as I could and then I'd be raising the kids. So yeah, there's a chance that one of us could die, but there's also a chance that we could both live until we're old and gray. But, Mon, in order to actually live a life......you can't constantly be worrying about that small chance that something might happen."
Monica looked at him, "You're right," she whispered, "This just......it came at a bad time.....it's almost the anniversary and........Chandler, I miss him. I miss him so much," those were the only words she got out before she broke down sobbing.
Chandler knew words wouldn't help this time. So he pulled his arms around her tighter and rocked her back and forth, gently stroking her hair. Just letting her cry.
He knew that was what she needed.
***
When Ryan and Micaela arrived home from school that afternoon, both were thrilled to find Chandler sitting on the couch. "Chandler!" Micaela squealed as she hopped into his lap. "You're here!"
"Yep, sweets, I am. And I have to say, Cae, excellent play the other night!"
Micaela grinned, "Thanks, Chandler."
Ryan eyed Chandler closely, "You came back," he said softly.
"Yep, bud, I did," Chandler said, not wanting to go into it more in front of Micaela. "Hey, Cae, why don't you go play in the playroom, okay? I'll be there in a few minutes."
"'Kay! Hey, where's Mommy?" Micaela asked.
"She's sleeping, honey. Don't bother her, okay?" Micaela nodded and ran off. Chandler motioned for Ryan to sit down.
"Did you and Mom make up?" Ryan asked.
Chandler nodded, "We did. Ry, I just wanted to thank you. It was a good idea to call, and it helped a lot."
Ryan smiled. "I knew it would," he said, "What were you fighting about anyway?"
Chandler sighed, "We weren't.....fighting. Your mom was just a little bit sad, Ry."
"How come?"
Chandler smiled. Ryan wanted to know every little detail, didn't he? "Well, Ry, she just.......she missed your dad an awful lot."
Ryan looked down at his feet, "Even though you're here?" he asked.
Chandler nodded, "It's okay to miss people even if there are new people in your life. I don't mind that your mom misses him."
"So you......you wouldn't mind if I missed him?" Ryan asked.
"Oh, Ry.....of course not. You have every right to miss your dad."
Ryan sighed softly, "'Cause I do," he whispered, "I miss him a lot. I mean, you do a lot of the stuff he used to do, but.....I just, I still miss him."
"I know you do, Ry. And as much as I hate to say this, you probably always will. Nothing's ever going to take away that pain of someone missing from your life."
"So I'm always gonna be sad?"
Chandler chuckled, "No, Ry, you're not always going to be sad, unless you force yourself to be. Because I think......I think your dad would really want you to be happy, even if he's not here. But you're not going to forget him."
Ryan smiled, "No, I'm not. But you're right, he'd want us to be happy."
Chandler nodded, and shooed Ryan off the couch, "Okay, bud, then let's go play that game of basketball I promised you."
Ryan grinned, and ran off to grab his sneakers. But before he reached the closet, he turned to Chandler, "Hey, Chandler?" he said, "Thanks."
"For what?" Chandler asked, confused.
"Making us happy again," Ryan said, and ran off to grab his sneakers.
***
Chandler let an exhausted Monica sleep through the afternoon, feeding the kids himself, helping them with their homework and finally, putting them to bed. Finally, after Ryan and Micaela had already been sleeping an hour, Monica wandered back into the living room.
"Hey, sleepyhead," he said gently as she collapsed onto the couch next to him, "How're you feeling?"
"Much better," Monica said softly, "I haven't really slept in so long."
Chandler nodded, "Are you, uh, ready to talk about all of this now?"
Monica sighed, "I guess so," she said, "What's there to talk about? You're right, I am going to keep the baby, so what else is there?"
Chandler sighed, "Well......there's us. What's happening with us?"
"What do you mean? Aren't you going to stay?"
Chandler laughed, "Of course I am! Did you think I was going to leave you?"
"It went through my head," she said.
"I'd never do that, and you know it. No, I'm staying. What I mean is.....do you want everything to stay like this, even though we're having a baby? Do you want to stay boyfriend and girlfriend? Or get married? Because you know I'd marry you in a second. Just say the word and I'd propose right here and now."
Monica sighed and pulled away, "Chandler.....with all that's happening, I just.....I just don't think it's the best idea right now. Maybe later, when things have settled down, but......right now I'm just not ready."
Chandler smiled forcefully, "Okay," he lied, "Whatever you want. You know I'll do whatever you want."
Monica sighed, and leaned back into his arms, wondering if, indeed that was really what she wanted.
PLEASE REVIEW!