Chapter Two
In Which Natalie Pisses off Simpson
Hmm... We left off with Lizzy following a hot British dude and Lia and I watching. Anyway, I was clicking my heels together because I fidget a lot and really can't stand still for more than two seconds, and a tune came to my lips. "Dream a dream, and see through angel's eyes, a place where we can fly away..." Lia nudged me, and I saw one of the British guys glaring at me. "What's your problem dude?" He raised an eyebrow. "What kind of orphan are you?" I sniffed and jabbed my finger into his chest. "I am myself, a fourteen-year-old girl who likes to write teen romance, and you're asking me what kind of an orphan I am?" He seized me by my renaissance style clothes and threw me toward some rather mean-looking guys. "Don't mess with me, I took self-defense!" With that, I kneed a guy in the groin, and he squealed in pain. "Heh, heh, heh, take that asshole!" Lia was meanwhile going around and pulling every rope, causing things to snag and tear, including the sails. "Lia, stop, before the scary people get pissed!" And then the scary people got pissed off, because Lia pulled on a rope and a lot of cargo spilled into the sea. "Oy, Lia, you're going to get us killed! Where's a hot English guy with a sword when you need him?" Lia pointed. "Apparently right next to Lizzy." I glanced back and saw Lizzy and Horatio standing in sailing outfits. "He definitely qualifies." A bunch of the crew burst out laughing. "You little girls must be daft if you think Hornblower is anything to look at. He might as well be a woman." A man said that wasn't very attractive at all. "Yeah, and you might as well be pig swill." I muttered, and the guy turned red. Meanwhile, both Lizzy and Horatio were blushing furiously. "Watch your manners or we will tie you to the mast, wench!" I rolled my eyes. "Piss off, the last time someone called me a wench, I beat his ass into the floor! Sorry Lizzy, had to use the language. Anyway, we'll go along with you guys for a little while, until I get bored of course!" Horatio had said nothing the entire time until now. "Are your friends always like this Elisabeth?" Lizzy nodded, and I shook my head. "Girl, you're not very good at this are you? Yeah, Lia and I are always this insane, but Lizzy is pretty sedate, especially when she is around hot guys like you, Mr. Hornblower." With a laugh, I realized that he really was only two years older than her; not that much if you think about it. "You think you're going nowhere, when you're walkin' down the street..."
"Natalie, we're going!" Lia called, and cut me off. "Coming! What're you staring at rat face?" I shot at Simpson, and nearby, the one that I remembered as Archie cringed, and I furrowed my brow. "Lizzy, isn't there speculation about something between...?" Lizzy put a finger to her lips, and I nodded, but looked back at Archie, at which point, our eyes locked, and I blushed. That was, I suppose, the point at which I really noticed him, and it certainly was the point at which I realized how difficult it is to make eye contact with someone when they are not speaking to you. The four of us entered a room, and I raised my eyebrow at the hammocks. "They had those on the deck in Cancun." Horatio glanced over at me. "You have been to the Spanish colony in the west?" Nodding, I stated proudly; "Many times, sir, but I am no Spaniard; I'm American!" Lizzy clapped a hand to her own forehead, and I blushed. "Er... that was a joke, I often do things like that." Hmm... so they were still squeamish about that whole thing with the Revolutionary War. Lia plopped onto one of the hammocks, and suddenly smiled excitedly. "Oh, we can spin around and around and wake everyone up in the middle of the night!" With a laugh, I spun her hammock around without letting her fall a few times and then let go. It shook erratically, and she ended up on her behind. "Again, again!" Noticing the silence of the other two people in the room, I glanced over at them. "Lighten up, Horatio, it's not the end of the world that she is wearing your clothes; no, the end of the world is that my Palm Pilot will be dead in a day or two, and if we don't get back home, I'll run out of batteries for my CD player!" Again, Lizzy gestured for me to be quiet, and I shook my head. "A life without good music is a sorry life indeed, especially when it means that I'll have to sing to make up for it!" Now, I might be an okay singer, but I do get annoying after awhile. "Fine, fine, we will be happy to aid you and your crew, sir, since we really should pull our own weight. Now, back to my writing." Yeah, cheesy I know, but I really am a writer, ever since the sixth grade. "Natalie and Lia write novels, and I write short stories." Our shy friend explained, and Horatio's eyes widened slightly. "You are educated?" I nodded with a smile. "Of course, we know history, science, math, English... and a few foreign languages; I myself plan on picking up Italian and Gaelic for the fun of it." Of course, I then realized that women were almost never schooled in this day and age. "Well, perhaps you three may help us in navigation then." With a shake of my head, I pointed at Lia, who was looking out the window for mermaids. "She's the smart one, sir, Lia is two years older than Lizzy and I, and she speaks French, Spanish, and a bit of German." Horatio nodded. "Very well, then: you might want to lie low for a bit, miss, since Simpson is the vengeful sort." Naturally, I already knew this. "I know: that whole thing of that card game... yes, we know about that, but who doesn't?" He really was a gentleman for all of the trouble I had caused.
At the point, the door opened, and Archie stepped in. "Mr. Hornblower, your presence is requested above deck by Captain Pellew." I felt my cheeks heat up and glanced downward. "Yes, all right... are you coming Mr. Kennedy?" Horatio had begun to leave, but Archie was staying behind. "I am to... make sure that they cause no more trouble, sir." Naturally, he was talking about me. "With all due respect, we don't need a baby sitter: Lizzy and I are fifteen, and Lia is seventeen: we know when to behave ourselves." I commented, and both of them laughed. "Yes, just like you knew to behave on deck?" There was no way in hell that I was going to let a British naval officer make fun of me, not even Archie. "You can shove your stupid comments up your..." Lia clamped a hand over my mouth, and I saw that I had startled both young men. "Excuse me, Natalie, but you are scaring the sea monsters and mermaids away." Trust Lia not to make sense. "Sorry, I won't cause any more trouble... today." Lizzy rubbed her temple, and I gave both guys a half-hearted smile. "Very well, but I still have my orders." He said hoarsely, and then whispered to Horatio: "I've never heard of a young woman, even an orphan who swears like that!" With a grumble, I sat down and whipped out my palm pilot. "I wonder if I could actually do anything with this?" Lizzy and Lia looked over my shoulder. "There isn't anything to pick up the signal, Natalie." This was very upsetting to me. "But I need to post my stories: hell, I need to check my e-mail!" I have a really bad habit of blurting things that I probably shouldn't. "Ixnay on the aile-may!" Lia muttered, and I flushed for only the zillionth time. "Oh well, at least we don't have to do homework!" I exclaimed, and they only sighed. "What arte you talking about?" I swore in German, and my friends laughed at me. "Never mind." Lia said. "Can't tell, sore wa himitsu desu!" Poor guy, we were throwing at least three different languages at him. "What language was that?" Lizzy shrugged when he looked at her, and Lia was preoccupied, so I had to tell him. "Japanese, sir, Lia and I know a few words. We are very language oriented... okay, this is getting ridiculous: I would never call a seventeen-year-old sir at home: they would be all skeptical and everything!" Lizzy laughed. "But you have to, Natalie, or else it would be disrespectful."
"But he's not even an acting lieutenant yet!" Then, I realized that I might have insulted him. "Sorry, but you aren't, can't we just call you Archie?" Archie raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "If you wish, miss... how old are all of you?" Lizzy answered this time. "You already know that Natalie is fourteen, as am I, and Lia is sixteen: we're all writers, so we sometimes co-write stories." By this time, Horatio was long gone in case you were wondering. "What do you write if I may ask?" Lia answered first. "We all write differently: I write dark fantasy sir, my stories are based on my nightmares since it makes them go away." Lizzy shuffled her feet nervously. "I write about this time period, but it is..." She drifted off, and I picked it up for her. "Romance, she writes modest romance, as do I, but mine is less modest... sorry if that disturbs you, but we wouldn't want to disillusion you, Archie." Then, for a moment, he paused. "How did you all know my name?" Lizzy sputtered and Lia seemed about to say something when I made up something off the top of my head. "We heard Horatio call you that." This probably went down better than what Lia would have said, since she takes joy in annoying people and generally confusing them. "I see..." This was not the Archie I remembered from the later episodes, but that was after Simpson was gone. I found myself wondering whether the rumors were true that Simpson had... just then, Lia brightened. "Oh look, ships with the French flag, the guys on deck probably can't see them yet!" Archie shot to his feet. "What did you say?" I sighed and ran out past him. "Look, dude, there's no time for that: we have to warn them!" With my heels clanking loudly against the deck, I actually reached Captain Pellew's office before the others. "Captain Pellew, sir, I am sorry to intrude, but we spotted a fleet of French ships off the... back of the boat." I said, and Lizzy elbowed me. "She meant ship." Simpson turned to Horatio and commented: "You should probably get your girlfriends to go below deck, Hornblower." By this time, Pellew was gone, and I snorted. "We're not his girlfriends, and by the way, you couldn't get a girl if you tried." He sneered at me, and his face was so close to mine that I could smell the foulness of his breath. "I would be careful if I were you, little girl." I really hate it when people treat me like I'm just a little kid. "Take that back, or I swear to God I'll knock you cold." At least Horatio kills him later. "Learn your place, or you'll get yourself the noose, young lady." Strange apology but I was fine with it, except for the part about learning my place. "Do me a favor and piss off." Then he actually left, and I kind of raised my eyebrow. "Commendable, Miss...?" Archie started, and I stuck out my hand. "Klavier, Natalie Klavier." Heh, Klavier means piano in German, just thought you might like to know, so my name is Natalie Piano (giggles). Now that I think about it, this was the point when Archie actually started to respect me as an independent young woman who might actually be capable of holding her own in a fight, which I soon proved that I was more than able to do.
In Which Natalie Pisses off Simpson
Hmm... We left off with Lizzy following a hot British dude and Lia and I watching. Anyway, I was clicking my heels together because I fidget a lot and really can't stand still for more than two seconds, and a tune came to my lips. "Dream a dream, and see through angel's eyes, a place where we can fly away..." Lia nudged me, and I saw one of the British guys glaring at me. "What's your problem dude?" He raised an eyebrow. "What kind of orphan are you?" I sniffed and jabbed my finger into his chest. "I am myself, a fourteen-year-old girl who likes to write teen romance, and you're asking me what kind of an orphan I am?" He seized me by my renaissance style clothes and threw me toward some rather mean-looking guys. "Don't mess with me, I took self-defense!" With that, I kneed a guy in the groin, and he squealed in pain. "Heh, heh, heh, take that asshole!" Lia was meanwhile going around and pulling every rope, causing things to snag and tear, including the sails. "Lia, stop, before the scary people get pissed!" And then the scary people got pissed off, because Lia pulled on a rope and a lot of cargo spilled into the sea. "Oy, Lia, you're going to get us killed! Where's a hot English guy with a sword when you need him?" Lia pointed. "Apparently right next to Lizzy." I glanced back and saw Lizzy and Horatio standing in sailing outfits. "He definitely qualifies." A bunch of the crew burst out laughing. "You little girls must be daft if you think Hornblower is anything to look at. He might as well be a woman." A man said that wasn't very attractive at all. "Yeah, and you might as well be pig swill." I muttered, and the guy turned red. Meanwhile, both Lizzy and Horatio were blushing furiously. "Watch your manners or we will tie you to the mast, wench!" I rolled my eyes. "Piss off, the last time someone called me a wench, I beat his ass into the floor! Sorry Lizzy, had to use the language. Anyway, we'll go along with you guys for a little while, until I get bored of course!" Horatio had said nothing the entire time until now. "Are your friends always like this Elisabeth?" Lizzy nodded, and I shook my head. "Girl, you're not very good at this are you? Yeah, Lia and I are always this insane, but Lizzy is pretty sedate, especially when she is around hot guys like you, Mr. Hornblower." With a laugh, I realized that he really was only two years older than her; not that much if you think about it. "You think you're going nowhere, when you're walkin' down the street..."
"Natalie, we're going!" Lia called, and cut me off. "Coming! What're you staring at rat face?" I shot at Simpson, and nearby, the one that I remembered as Archie cringed, and I furrowed my brow. "Lizzy, isn't there speculation about something between...?" Lizzy put a finger to her lips, and I nodded, but looked back at Archie, at which point, our eyes locked, and I blushed. That was, I suppose, the point at which I really noticed him, and it certainly was the point at which I realized how difficult it is to make eye contact with someone when they are not speaking to you. The four of us entered a room, and I raised my eyebrow at the hammocks. "They had those on the deck in Cancun." Horatio glanced over at me. "You have been to the Spanish colony in the west?" Nodding, I stated proudly; "Many times, sir, but I am no Spaniard; I'm American!" Lizzy clapped a hand to her own forehead, and I blushed. "Er... that was a joke, I often do things like that." Hmm... so they were still squeamish about that whole thing with the Revolutionary War. Lia plopped onto one of the hammocks, and suddenly smiled excitedly. "Oh, we can spin around and around and wake everyone up in the middle of the night!" With a laugh, I spun her hammock around without letting her fall a few times and then let go. It shook erratically, and she ended up on her behind. "Again, again!" Noticing the silence of the other two people in the room, I glanced over at them. "Lighten up, Horatio, it's not the end of the world that she is wearing your clothes; no, the end of the world is that my Palm Pilot will be dead in a day or two, and if we don't get back home, I'll run out of batteries for my CD player!" Again, Lizzy gestured for me to be quiet, and I shook my head. "A life without good music is a sorry life indeed, especially when it means that I'll have to sing to make up for it!" Now, I might be an okay singer, but I do get annoying after awhile. "Fine, fine, we will be happy to aid you and your crew, sir, since we really should pull our own weight. Now, back to my writing." Yeah, cheesy I know, but I really am a writer, ever since the sixth grade. "Natalie and Lia write novels, and I write short stories." Our shy friend explained, and Horatio's eyes widened slightly. "You are educated?" I nodded with a smile. "Of course, we know history, science, math, English... and a few foreign languages; I myself plan on picking up Italian and Gaelic for the fun of it." Of course, I then realized that women were almost never schooled in this day and age. "Well, perhaps you three may help us in navigation then." With a shake of my head, I pointed at Lia, who was looking out the window for mermaids. "She's the smart one, sir, Lia is two years older than Lizzy and I, and she speaks French, Spanish, and a bit of German." Horatio nodded. "Very well, then: you might want to lie low for a bit, miss, since Simpson is the vengeful sort." Naturally, I already knew this. "I know: that whole thing of that card game... yes, we know about that, but who doesn't?" He really was a gentleman for all of the trouble I had caused.
At the point, the door opened, and Archie stepped in. "Mr. Hornblower, your presence is requested above deck by Captain Pellew." I felt my cheeks heat up and glanced downward. "Yes, all right... are you coming Mr. Kennedy?" Horatio had begun to leave, but Archie was staying behind. "I am to... make sure that they cause no more trouble, sir." Naturally, he was talking about me. "With all due respect, we don't need a baby sitter: Lizzy and I are fifteen, and Lia is seventeen: we know when to behave ourselves." I commented, and both of them laughed. "Yes, just like you knew to behave on deck?" There was no way in hell that I was going to let a British naval officer make fun of me, not even Archie. "You can shove your stupid comments up your..." Lia clamped a hand over my mouth, and I saw that I had startled both young men. "Excuse me, Natalie, but you are scaring the sea monsters and mermaids away." Trust Lia not to make sense. "Sorry, I won't cause any more trouble... today." Lizzy rubbed her temple, and I gave both guys a half-hearted smile. "Very well, but I still have my orders." He said hoarsely, and then whispered to Horatio: "I've never heard of a young woman, even an orphan who swears like that!" With a grumble, I sat down and whipped out my palm pilot. "I wonder if I could actually do anything with this?" Lizzy and Lia looked over my shoulder. "There isn't anything to pick up the signal, Natalie." This was very upsetting to me. "But I need to post my stories: hell, I need to check my e-mail!" I have a really bad habit of blurting things that I probably shouldn't. "Ixnay on the aile-may!" Lia muttered, and I flushed for only the zillionth time. "Oh well, at least we don't have to do homework!" I exclaimed, and they only sighed. "What arte you talking about?" I swore in German, and my friends laughed at me. "Never mind." Lia said. "Can't tell, sore wa himitsu desu!" Poor guy, we were throwing at least three different languages at him. "What language was that?" Lizzy shrugged when he looked at her, and Lia was preoccupied, so I had to tell him. "Japanese, sir, Lia and I know a few words. We are very language oriented... okay, this is getting ridiculous: I would never call a seventeen-year-old sir at home: they would be all skeptical and everything!" Lizzy laughed. "But you have to, Natalie, or else it would be disrespectful."
"But he's not even an acting lieutenant yet!" Then, I realized that I might have insulted him. "Sorry, but you aren't, can't we just call you Archie?" Archie raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "If you wish, miss... how old are all of you?" Lizzy answered this time. "You already know that Natalie is fourteen, as am I, and Lia is sixteen: we're all writers, so we sometimes co-write stories." By this time, Horatio was long gone in case you were wondering. "What do you write if I may ask?" Lia answered first. "We all write differently: I write dark fantasy sir, my stories are based on my nightmares since it makes them go away." Lizzy shuffled her feet nervously. "I write about this time period, but it is..." She drifted off, and I picked it up for her. "Romance, she writes modest romance, as do I, but mine is less modest... sorry if that disturbs you, but we wouldn't want to disillusion you, Archie." Then, for a moment, he paused. "How did you all know my name?" Lizzy sputtered and Lia seemed about to say something when I made up something off the top of my head. "We heard Horatio call you that." This probably went down better than what Lia would have said, since she takes joy in annoying people and generally confusing them. "I see..." This was not the Archie I remembered from the later episodes, but that was after Simpson was gone. I found myself wondering whether the rumors were true that Simpson had... just then, Lia brightened. "Oh look, ships with the French flag, the guys on deck probably can't see them yet!" Archie shot to his feet. "What did you say?" I sighed and ran out past him. "Look, dude, there's no time for that: we have to warn them!" With my heels clanking loudly against the deck, I actually reached Captain Pellew's office before the others. "Captain Pellew, sir, I am sorry to intrude, but we spotted a fleet of French ships off the... back of the boat." I said, and Lizzy elbowed me. "She meant ship." Simpson turned to Horatio and commented: "You should probably get your girlfriends to go below deck, Hornblower." By this time, Pellew was gone, and I snorted. "We're not his girlfriends, and by the way, you couldn't get a girl if you tried." He sneered at me, and his face was so close to mine that I could smell the foulness of his breath. "I would be careful if I were you, little girl." I really hate it when people treat me like I'm just a little kid. "Take that back, or I swear to God I'll knock you cold." At least Horatio kills him later. "Learn your place, or you'll get yourself the noose, young lady." Strange apology but I was fine with it, except for the part about learning my place. "Do me a favor and piss off." Then he actually left, and I kind of raised my eyebrow. "Commendable, Miss...?" Archie started, and I stuck out my hand. "Klavier, Natalie Klavier." Heh, Klavier means piano in German, just thought you might like to know, so my name is Natalie Piano (giggles). Now that I think about it, this was the point when Archie actually started to respect me as an independent young woman who might actually be capable of holding her own in a fight, which I soon proved that I was more than able to do.