Title: Sweet Home London
Summary: Sweet Home Alabama meets Hogwarts, starring Hermione as Melanie, Ron Weasley as Jake, and Viktor Krum as Andrew, with the help of other characters. Don't understand? Go see the movie.
Author: The one, the only, Yelak.
A/N: Chapter four. Excited, aren't you? Thought so.
Disclaimer: Yes, I own all of these characters. XD Just kidding. J.K. Rowling is the mastermind behind them, and the plot is from Sweet Home Alabama. I'm just combining the two.
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Ron led her to the Three Broomsticks, a bar in Hogsmeade in which is mom worked at. As soon as she got out of the car, though, a large owl hooted and fluttered around her head. Finally, she thought, a note from Viktor. Opening it carefully, she read to herself: 'My loving Hermione; I have some terrific news to tell you. I just opened the Daily Prophet, and what's the first thing I see? "Hermione Granger, authoress of the newly proclaimed article, "Bedwarths of the North", has just been nominated as Employee of the Year."' Congratulations, dear, and I hope to see you soon. Much love, Viktor.'
Hermione's jaw dropped as she let out a giggle in spite of herself. Employee of the Year?! Her?! She'd been working at this for as long as she could remember, long before she even was employed. "Wow," Hermione said, her spirits now soaring and in a great mood. She entered the bar with her bar held high.
"If it isn't my favorite daughter-in-law!" squealed a familiar voice, belonging to a tall redheaded woman. It was Ron's mother.
"Soon to be ex-daughter-in-law," she corrected, showing Molly Weasley the ring on her finger.
"Wow," swooned Mrs. Weasley, "isn't that gorgeous? Who's the lucky guy?"
"Er. . .Viktor Krum, the Quidditch player," Hermione answered sheepishly.
"I see. Well, I've got to get working, but you enjoy yourself. And you," Mrs. Weasley pointed a long fingernail at the bartender, "you get this lady whatever she wants."
Hermione smiled politely, and ordered a drink. Before long, she heard from behind, "Hermione?!" She turned to see who had said her name.
A giggling, brown-haired girl stood before her, about her age. It took Hermione a few seconds before asking amazedly, "Lavender?" Lavender Brown? Could it be?
"Yes! You know, I read your article-thingy about Bedwarths or- or something like that," Lavender giggled. She never was the brightest bulb in the batch. "It was really good, even though I didn't understand it all."
"Yes, my. . .article-thingy," Hermione winced, but was happy to see her nevertheless. After a short but sweet conversation with Lavender, Hermione wandered towards the back of the bar, where Seamus, Dean (Another Hogwarts friend of Hermione's), Ron, and Ron's date were seated. Ron's date was a pretty, skinny, blonde-haired girl, looking quite smug yet air headed. Hermione wandered over.
"You must be Ron's date," she said sweetly. "I'm Ron's bitchy Bulgarian wife whom he refuses to divorce, even though I'm engaged to another man." Ron rolled his eyes, while his date smiled.
"I'm Suzie," replied the date, her accent very strong. She just sat there and grinned and grinned. Ron hurriedly put an arm around her.
"Do you like me embarrassing you in front of all your friends?" Hermione hissed.
"Oh, come on Hermione. We've always been your friends too," Seamus interjected.
Suddenly, two deep, easily-recognizable voices boomed out from behind, "Well, if it isn't Hermione Granger!" and "Simply chalking to see you!"
Hermione whirled around, seeing two redheaded men, both with freckles and looking a little like Ron. They were his older twin brothers, Fred and George Weasley.
"Hey Fred?" George called, smirking.
"Yeah, George?"
"I'm kind of cold. How about you?"
"Yeah, freezing." The two men, grinning, hurled them selves at Hermione with a final comment of, "Time for a Hermione bla-anket!" Hermione found herself in the middle of them, them squeezing her between themselves.
Everyone around them began laughing. "Stop! Stop it!" She shoved them away, scowling. "No! No Hermione blanket! No Hermione cover, and no Hermione bed! Got it?!"
"Yeah, sorry," the twins said slowly, looking deeply offended but backing off. Everyone else raised an eyebrow.
"Are you guys just going to sit and talk all day, or are we going to play some darts?" asked Seamus, several blue darts clutched in his hands. "And if you can't find any darts, just use the ones shoved up her arse." Everyone but Hermione laughed.
Across the room, a desolate target was hung on the wall. Groups of people were surrounding the gang, cheering them all on.
{{A/N: In case you did not know, darts is really popular in London.))
George grinned and retrieved the red darts, stepping up to the line. "Now you watch me teach these guys how to lose at darts, 'Mione." The other guys snorted.
"I don't know, George. I'm not exactly the watching kind of girl. Isn't that right, Ron?" Hermione replied moodily.
Everyone let out another loud laugh. Ron simply glared. A few hours and many drinks later, Hermione was stumbling around the room, giggly and definitely drunk. Empty cups were cluttered all around her. Everyone was still having a great time, until finally, it was just Fred and Ron left, with the game winning shot left.
"C'mon, Ron!" Everyone cheered, as he squinted at his target. "Now, we need that perfect toss that won us the house cup in our fifth year, Ron!" yelled George, and everyone began cheering like crazy. "Remember that night, 'Mione?"
"Of course I do," she half-giggled, half-snapped. "It was the night Ron and I made out."
Everyone laughed, but Ron said angrily, "Go print it why don't you?!"
"Oh, come off it Ron. No one here can keep a secret." She paused, and turned to Seamus. "Except Seamus." A laugh was audible throughout the room. Seamus' eyes grew wide, begging her to stop.
"What'd I do to you?" He asked weakly.
"Nothing, love! You never did anything to me! In fact, I don't believe you ever did anything to any girl!" Another laugh rose, though some were confused laughs.
"Hermione! What's the matter with you?" Dean snapped irritably, wanting her to shut up and not expose his best friend's secret. He was one of the few who knew.
"Ah, well, it's fine. She's simply upset. Of course, I would be too, if I were wearing those last season shoes," Seamus said, not knowing how much of a mistake he had just made. There were weak laughs scattered about.
"Why don't you just go to a gay bar?" Hermione replied, and the room went deathly silent. Seamus' eyes were as round as quarters, his jaw dropped halfway to the floor. Ron and Dean glared at her threateningly.
"What in the good lord's name would Seamus ever do at a gay bar?" laughed Fred, flinging an arm around Seamus' shoulders. He didn't know, of course. Seamus just turned his head at Fred silently and stared. As his laughs grew pathetic, he took his arm away and tilted his head. The same thought was racing through everyone's' mind. Seamus was gay?
"Well," Seamus said in a choked voice, dropping the darts to the ground and listening to them clink against the hard floor, "I reckon I've had enough fun tonight." He left the room without another word.
"I was joking!" Hermione called to his retreating back, and then rounded on Molly. "Got any more of those alcoholic butterbeers for me n' my friends?"
"I think you've had about enough tonight, 'Mione," Molly said slowly.
"Yeah. I have had enough. Did you guys know how much more intelligent Bulgarians are? Wow. . ."
"That's enough!" Ron shouted, and grabbing her by her elbow, dragged her outside.
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A/N: Okay, there's chapter five. What'd ya think? Review, review, review!!!!!! Chapter six coming soon!
Summary: Sweet Home Alabama meets Hogwarts, starring Hermione as Melanie, Ron Weasley as Jake, and Viktor Krum as Andrew, with the help of other characters. Don't understand? Go see the movie.
Author: The one, the only, Yelak.
A/N: Chapter four. Excited, aren't you? Thought so.
Disclaimer: Yes, I own all of these characters. XD Just kidding. J.K. Rowling is the mastermind behind them, and the plot is from Sweet Home Alabama. I'm just combining the two.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ron led her to the Three Broomsticks, a bar in Hogsmeade in which is mom worked at. As soon as she got out of the car, though, a large owl hooted and fluttered around her head. Finally, she thought, a note from Viktor. Opening it carefully, she read to herself: 'My loving Hermione; I have some terrific news to tell you. I just opened the Daily Prophet, and what's the first thing I see? "Hermione Granger, authoress of the newly proclaimed article, "Bedwarths of the North", has just been nominated as Employee of the Year."' Congratulations, dear, and I hope to see you soon. Much love, Viktor.'
Hermione's jaw dropped as she let out a giggle in spite of herself. Employee of the Year?! Her?! She'd been working at this for as long as she could remember, long before she even was employed. "Wow," Hermione said, her spirits now soaring and in a great mood. She entered the bar with her bar held high.
"If it isn't my favorite daughter-in-law!" squealed a familiar voice, belonging to a tall redheaded woman. It was Ron's mother.
"Soon to be ex-daughter-in-law," she corrected, showing Molly Weasley the ring on her finger.
"Wow," swooned Mrs. Weasley, "isn't that gorgeous? Who's the lucky guy?"
"Er. . .Viktor Krum, the Quidditch player," Hermione answered sheepishly.
"I see. Well, I've got to get working, but you enjoy yourself. And you," Mrs. Weasley pointed a long fingernail at the bartender, "you get this lady whatever she wants."
Hermione smiled politely, and ordered a drink. Before long, she heard from behind, "Hermione?!" She turned to see who had said her name.
A giggling, brown-haired girl stood before her, about her age. It took Hermione a few seconds before asking amazedly, "Lavender?" Lavender Brown? Could it be?
"Yes! You know, I read your article-thingy about Bedwarths or- or something like that," Lavender giggled. She never was the brightest bulb in the batch. "It was really good, even though I didn't understand it all."
"Yes, my. . .article-thingy," Hermione winced, but was happy to see her nevertheless. After a short but sweet conversation with Lavender, Hermione wandered towards the back of the bar, where Seamus, Dean (Another Hogwarts friend of Hermione's), Ron, and Ron's date were seated. Ron's date was a pretty, skinny, blonde-haired girl, looking quite smug yet air headed. Hermione wandered over.
"You must be Ron's date," she said sweetly. "I'm Ron's bitchy Bulgarian wife whom he refuses to divorce, even though I'm engaged to another man." Ron rolled his eyes, while his date smiled.
"I'm Suzie," replied the date, her accent very strong. She just sat there and grinned and grinned. Ron hurriedly put an arm around her.
"Do you like me embarrassing you in front of all your friends?" Hermione hissed.
"Oh, come on Hermione. We've always been your friends too," Seamus interjected.
Suddenly, two deep, easily-recognizable voices boomed out from behind, "Well, if it isn't Hermione Granger!" and "Simply chalking to see you!"
Hermione whirled around, seeing two redheaded men, both with freckles and looking a little like Ron. They were his older twin brothers, Fred and George Weasley.
"Hey Fred?" George called, smirking.
"Yeah, George?"
"I'm kind of cold. How about you?"
"Yeah, freezing." The two men, grinning, hurled them selves at Hermione with a final comment of, "Time for a Hermione bla-anket!" Hermione found herself in the middle of them, them squeezing her between themselves.
Everyone around them began laughing. "Stop! Stop it!" She shoved them away, scowling. "No! No Hermione blanket! No Hermione cover, and no Hermione bed! Got it?!"
"Yeah, sorry," the twins said slowly, looking deeply offended but backing off. Everyone else raised an eyebrow.
"Are you guys just going to sit and talk all day, or are we going to play some darts?" asked Seamus, several blue darts clutched in his hands. "And if you can't find any darts, just use the ones shoved up her arse." Everyone but Hermione laughed.
Across the room, a desolate target was hung on the wall. Groups of people were surrounding the gang, cheering them all on.
{{A/N: In case you did not know, darts is really popular in London.))
George grinned and retrieved the red darts, stepping up to the line. "Now you watch me teach these guys how to lose at darts, 'Mione." The other guys snorted.
"I don't know, George. I'm not exactly the watching kind of girl. Isn't that right, Ron?" Hermione replied moodily.
Everyone let out another loud laugh. Ron simply glared. A few hours and many drinks later, Hermione was stumbling around the room, giggly and definitely drunk. Empty cups were cluttered all around her. Everyone was still having a great time, until finally, it was just Fred and Ron left, with the game winning shot left.
"C'mon, Ron!" Everyone cheered, as he squinted at his target. "Now, we need that perfect toss that won us the house cup in our fifth year, Ron!" yelled George, and everyone began cheering like crazy. "Remember that night, 'Mione?"
"Of course I do," she half-giggled, half-snapped. "It was the night Ron and I made out."
Everyone laughed, but Ron said angrily, "Go print it why don't you?!"
"Oh, come off it Ron. No one here can keep a secret." She paused, and turned to Seamus. "Except Seamus." A laugh was audible throughout the room. Seamus' eyes grew wide, begging her to stop.
"What'd I do to you?" He asked weakly.
"Nothing, love! You never did anything to me! In fact, I don't believe you ever did anything to any girl!" Another laugh rose, though some were confused laughs.
"Hermione! What's the matter with you?" Dean snapped irritably, wanting her to shut up and not expose his best friend's secret. He was one of the few who knew.
"Ah, well, it's fine. She's simply upset. Of course, I would be too, if I were wearing those last season shoes," Seamus said, not knowing how much of a mistake he had just made. There were weak laughs scattered about.
"Why don't you just go to a gay bar?" Hermione replied, and the room went deathly silent. Seamus' eyes were as round as quarters, his jaw dropped halfway to the floor. Ron and Dean glared at her threateningly.
"What in the good lord's name would Seamus ever do at a gay bar?" laughed Fred, flinging an arm around Seamus' shoulders. He didn't know, of course. Seamus just turned his head at Fred silently and stared. As his laughs grew pathetic, he took his arm away and tilted his head. The same thought was racing through everyone's' mind. Seamus was gay?
"Well," Seamus said in a choked voice, dropping the darts to the ground and listening to them clink against the hard floor, "I reckon I've had enough fun tonight." He left the room without another word.
"I was joking!" Hermione called to his retreating back, and then rounded on Molly. "Got any more of those alcoholic butterbeers for me n' my friends?"
"I think you've had about enough tonight, 'Mione," Molly said slowly.
"Yeah. I have had enough. Did you guys know how much more intelligent Bulgarians are? Wow. . ."
"That's enough!" Ron shouted, and grabbing her by her elbow, dragged her outside.
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A/N: Okay, there's chapter five. What'd ya think? Review, review, review!!!!!! Chapter six coming soon!