Author's Notes: Thank you sooooo much to those of you who reviewed my story and liked it. *hands you all kudos* You rock, ^_^ Only one more chapter!
Christmas is a Time…
Chapter 2: It's Not My Party, But I'll Cry if I Want To.
"Hey."
Shindou Shuichi jumped lightly from his position in front of the tree. He nearly dropped the ornament that he was hanging on a bristled branch. He finished his task and cocked his head back.
Eiri was throwing a long coat over the arm of the couch but had his eyes focused on Shuichi. A duffel bag lay abandoned on the floor by his feet. He was redressed in his turtleneck and pants.
"Hi," Shuichi responded with a weak smile. "You're finished packing?"
Eiri straightened himself and stuck one hand in his pocket. "Yeah." He glanced to the tree. "Mika's on her way. She'll be here to pick me up any minute."
"Oh." Shuichi leaned down to pick up another ornament from the floor. "Say hello to Tatsuha for me, ok?" He turned back to the tree, not waiting for an answer.
Eiri's expression was blank, as it usually was when he was trying to conceal his inner turmoil. He watched the boy hang up a candy-cane and felt a pang of sadness wash over him. You said we'd decorate the tree together… He frowned.
"I thought…" Eiri let out a breath and shook his head slowly.
"What's that?" Shuichi looked over to the older man. "What'd you say?"
"Nothing." Eiri sat on the arm of the couch. "Just forget it. It apparently doesn't matter."
Shuichi lifted an eyebrow. "What's wrong?" he asked with a slow, chiding voice, as if speaking to a child.
The vocalist blinked in bewilderment as the blonde glared at him icily. Shuichi's face was painted with a mixture of surprise, horror, and heartbreak. Eiri hadn't looked at the boy in that way since before the escapade at New York…
Yuki… No, don't look at me like that!
Eiri could feel his golden-eyes cool over into a dull, harsh bronze. He clenched his jaw and steadied his gaze further. The swelling of sundry emotions in him was scaring him, and he knew damn well Shuichi was the source of every single one.
The singer quickly turned his head away. He stared unseeingly at the cluttered living room floor. He took in a sharp breath. A forced smile graced his lips.
"Well, I hope you –"
"Shut up."
Shuichi flinched, feeling the bite of terror gnaw at his bones. He swallowed hard as he saw out of his peripheral vision Eiri get up and begin nearing the smaller man.
"Yuki –"
"Shut. Up." Eiri bit out each syllable in a low, rumbling voice.
The pink haired man squeezed his eyes closed tight. It wasn't like Eiri being upset with him was a rare occasion… However, Eiri had never been this mad.
No… the boy thought desperately. No, Yuki has been this mad before. He drifted back to the time in the elevator when Eiri had first kissed the younger man. Somehow Shuichi doubted this was going to end up as nicely… He braced himself for the blow he was sure would come.
"Idiot…"
Shuichi opened his eyes in surprise. He turned his head to Eiri, staring up at him with wide, confused eyes. The older man was looking down on him in a meld of anger and disappointment.
"Yuki…" Shuichi blinked a few times. "What…?"
Eiri tried to glare at the boy as harshly as he could. "Why do you want me to leave? I thought I'm what you wanted for Christmas."
The singer swiftly hung his head. "You are," he answered as cheerily as possible. "But, like I said, we can have Christmas together when you get back." He looked back up to the blonde. He smiled warmly despite himself. "What's most important to me is what's good for you – and that's your family."
Eiri clenched his fists and growled angrily. "That's not true, dammit!! You're the –"
Both men stiffened at the sound of the metallic doorbell. Neither moved for a moment, too terrified to speak, far as answer the door.
This is it. Tell him now! Tell him you want him to stay with you!! Tell him you want nothing more then for him to just be with you!!
This is it. Dammit, why can't I just tell him that he's the one I want to be with?! That's he's the one that's "good" for me?!
It was painfully obvious to both of them that the other was trying to say something but couldn't quite get it out. Another moment of an awkward silence passed.
The doorbell rang again, ripping apart the hushed intensity of the room.
Don't let him leave… Stop telling him to go when it's really not ok!!
If I go it will make me harden myself against him again… But… do I want that?
Shuichi gulped with difficulty. "That's probably Mika," he offered lowly. "You better go."
Eiri could feel his stomach burning with pent up hostility. How dare Shuichi just brush him off like that?!
"Fine," he snarled with newfound resolve. "I'm leaving."
Yuki, wait!! Don't leave me!! Don't you see that I'm not okay?! That I really do want you to stay?! Please, don't go!!
I'll leave, and by the time I get back I won't care anymore… I can be perfectly arrogant, like how I used to be. I was getting too involved anyway.
The younger man held his breath, too afraid that if he let it go he would either break down crying or admit defeat. He watched Eiri snatch up his coat as he jammed his feet into his shoes.
Shuichi felt his lungs grow tight with the lack of oxygen and his throat stretch with stifled words. The sight of Eiri's hand reaching out for the doorknob was the absolute breaking point.
I can't let him go.
I'll just completely let go of him.
"Yuki!!"
The said man froze. He glared down at the knob for a moment. After a second of apprehension, Eiri quickly brushed it aside and began to open the door.
"Yuki, wait!!" Shuichi cried desperately, stepping forward. "Yuki, I--!"
That's it! Just say it!
Don't look back…
Shuichi was cut off from his confession as the door slammed harshly behind the aloof writer.
"Are you going to be okay?" came the tenor of Nakano Hiroshi's voice from the other end of the phone.
"I guess so…" Shuichi sniffed. He leaned back against the headboard of the bed. "It's weird… I mean, it's only two or three days… Yuki's left for a couple of days at a time before, and yet…"
"And yet you feel like it's the end of the world," Hiro responded gently.
"Or at least the end of us." Shuichi could feel the tears swell up again. "It just felt so… final. As if he was walking out of me."
"Well, technically, he was." Hiro paused. "Just not indefinitely."
"Why is it I'm in so much pain…?" the singer whimpered into the phone. Any minute now the tears were going to start flowing again, despite the ten minutes of crying he had mere moments ago.
"Because it's Christmas time and you guys are fighting." Hiro let out a breath. "I guess it's worse when you have a fight around the holidays. Especially if you two won't be together on Christmas."
"You're not helping by rubbing it in, Hiro," Shuichi snapped sadly.
"Sorry, sorry." The guitarist clucked his tongue. "I guess I'm just not too good at this type of thing. I'm a good listener, you know that, but when it comes to Yuki-san walking out… Well, I really don't know what to tell you."
"I suppose I'm just disappointed…" the pink haired boy offered.
Shuichi repositioned himself on the bed so that he was lying down on his stomach. He shimmied over to Eiri's side of the bed and hugged the older man's pillow to his chest.
"Disappointed because Yuki-san won't be with you?"
"Yeah." Shuichi closed his eyes dejectedly. "He promised we'd be together, and then he left…"
"Um…" Hiro paused again, trying to figure out how to word his next sentence. "Well, you know, Shuichi… You were the one who told him to leave…"
"So?!" Shuichi cried, opening his eyes. "He should have known that I really didn't want him to leave!"
"Shuichi! Yuki-san is pretty god damn oblivious when it comes to other people's emotions! You actually expected him to pick up on your insincerity in telling him to leave?!" Hiro reprimanded in exasperation.
"Well, YEAH!" Shuichi sat up quickly, still clinging to the pillow. He gripped the phone tightly. "And Yuki is NOT oblivious!"
Hiro sighed heavily. "Fine, fine, he's not oblivious. But God, Shuichi – I don't know what goes through your head sometimes. He's not the type of guy that plays cat and mouse. If you tell him to leave, then he's going to leave!"
"But…!!" Shuichi whined professionally. The tears were blurring his vision. "But, Yuki NEVER does what I ask him!"
The brunette groaned from the other end of the connection. "Whatever. There's no use in harping over it. What's done is done. I'm here if you need to talk, but I'm not giving anymore advice. You don't listen to me anyway."
"Aw, Hiro…" The singer sniffled. "I'm sorry…"
"Don't worry about it. You've got enough on your plate."
Shuichi snuggled against the pillow and fought back the tears as best he could. He closed his eyes again and laid his head on top of Eiri's pillow. It smelt just like the temperamental blonde. Vanilla, light cologne, and the unique scent of Yuki Eiri filled Shuichi's senses.
"Hey," Hiro continued, "if you're worried about being alone for Christmas, then why not visit your family?"
Shuichi promptly opened his eyes, glaring out at nothing in particular. "No way," he bit out lowly. "I had to fight with them for three days to let me stay with Yuki on Christmas. No way in hell I'm going to crawl back there with my tail between my legs."
Hiro didn't respond for a moment, too surprised at Shuichi's use of the popular metaphor. It was rare that Shuichi said something intelligent when it came to Eiri – or most things, really.
"Um…" Shuichi straightened himself. "Could I…" He paused. "Spend Christmas with you?"
"Oh, uh…" Hiro muttered unsurely. "Well, I kind of have plans…"
"Oh?" Shuichi tried to mask his disappointment. "Are you and your family going to go see your brother or something?"
"Uh… No… not really…" The guitarist swallowed. "I'm not spending Christmas with my family the whole day this year…"
Shuichi's ears perked. "Explain?"
"Um, well… Ayaka's coming down to visit me…" Hiro responded almost inaudibly.
Shuichi didn't say anything for a good minute. His hold on the phone loosened somewhat. The buzzing from the complementary silence on the other end of the phone bombarded his ears.
"Uh, on second thought, Shuichi," Hiro stuttered nervously, "you can hang out at my place. I'm sure Ayaka won't mind. It will be a lot of fun with the three of us."
Shuichi found the ability to speak come fairly easy. "No, Hiro. It's ok." He sighed softly so that Hiro wouldn't hear. "I'm gonna go now. I'll talk to you later."
"Wait, Shuichi, really, it's okay. You can—"
"See you tomorrow, Hiro," Shuichi called over the fumbling brunette.
He heard Hiro mutter something back but hung up the phone anyway.
Suguru groaned in exasperation as he caught sight of a pink blur running towards him. "You're twenty minutes late." He paused for emphasis. "For a meeting you scheduled."
Shuichi doubled at the waist and rested his hands on his knees. He panted heavily through a small "sorry, sorry". After a moment he straightened himself and smiled sloppily. Hiro smiled and shook his head in amusement; Suguru rolled his eyes.
"Well," the young keyboardist sighed, "you're here now. What is this about? It's Christmas Eve, freezing cold outside, and we have a concert in six hours. Yet, you deem it necessary to call Nakano and me out here even though we're trying to rest for tonight." His face was weary. "This better be good."
Shuichi collapsed on one of the wooden benches that were scattered about the park. Suguru stood over him in confusion and Hiro plopped down next to the singer.
"Yeah, you seemed pretty urgent on the phone this morning." The brunette pursued his lips. "Something else wrong?"
Suguru perked at the statement. He arched a thin eyebrow. "Something else? What's going on?" He frowned. "Is it Yuki-san?"
Shuichi (who had been opening his mouth numerous times, only to be interrupted) huffed. "Well, sort of," he admitted softly. "It's also about the concert tonight."
Hiro leaned back a bit. "Please tell me it's not bad news…"
"Not particularly." Shuichi shifted uneasily. "It's about our line-up…"
Suguru bit at the inside of his cheek. He folded his arms and rubbed at them to keep himself warm in the icy weather. "Are you changing something?" he added worriedly.
Shuichi flashed the two men a nervous smile. Hiro and Suguru both groaned and hung they're heads.
"The concert is in a few hours!" Suguru cried. "You can't go changing things now!"
"I want to get rid of 'O Come All Ye Faithful'," the pink haired male responded nonchalantly.
"Shuichi!" Hiro scrubbed at his face. "We need three songs! If we get rid of it, we'll only have two!"
"Seguchi-san will kill me," Suguru moaned desperately. "Don't do this to us, Shindou."
The vocalist grinned and shook his head. He stood from his seat confidently. He stepped to the side a bit to eye his partners at once.
"No worries," Shuichi chirped. "We'll have three songs." He stopped, just watching the two, waiting for a reaction.
Suguru stood staring, completely bewildered. "You're not… adding another song," he gulped, "are you?"
Shuichi only grinned.
"Shindou!!" The dark haired man took a threatening step forward. "There's no way! We could never learn a song that fast!"
Hiro smirked. "And I suppose," he began, standing from the bench, "that this will be dedicated to Yuki-san?
Shuichi blinked. "What? How did you know, Hiro?"
The said guitarist slapped a hand on the violet-eyed man's shoulder. He grinned further. "You said it had something to do with Yuki-san." He winked. "All right then. I'm all for it." Suguru face-faulted.
Shuichi sniffled as tears of joy sprang to his glistening eyes. He clutched at his best friend's jacket, completely ignoring Suguru's squeaks of protest.
"Hiro…" the pink haired man whimpered. "You're the greatest."
Hiro's cool smile never faltered. "I know."
The keyboardist of Bad Luck gripped at their shoulders. He continued to revolt. "No! No, no, no, no, no!" He shook his head wildly. "There's no way! We don't have time! They'll kill us!"
Hiro turned to Suguru, all the while patting his other sniveling friend. He waved away the younger man with a hand, dismissing his protests. "They've dealt with crazier things from us before." He turned back to Shuichi. He nudged the singer's shoulder. "Well, what song?"
Shuichi grinned as he wiped at his nose. He sniffled. "'All I Want for Christmas is You'," he answered proudly.
Hiro nodded in approval. Both men high-fived after Suguru smacked his forehead and admitted defeat.
Hiro plucked the top string of his guitar. A low E trembled out.
"Hey, Hiro?"
"Mmm?"
He pressed his finger down on the fifth fret on the first string and plucked it and the second string. A perfect A resonated about the room.
"Where's Fujisaki?"
"With Seguchi-san."
Hiro moved his fingers down and tested the third string. A D rang in perfect sync.
"Hey, Hiro?"
"What?"
He moved down to the next string. He tested the note and frowned slightly at the dissonance of a B sharp that shouldn't have been sharp.
"When do we go on?"
"Fifteen minutes."
He quickly fixed the tuning and moved on to the last string.
"Hey, Hi—"
"Whaaaat?!"
He positioned his fingers and plucked the final string. A pointed high-E bit into the air. He cringed and went to fixing it.
"I think I'm going to throw up."
Nakano Hiroshi cried out as the last string snapped and cut into his finger.
"Jesus Christ, why are there never paper towels in public bathrooms?!" Hiro cried. He searched for anything that could be considered sanitary to clean up the vomit that had missed the toilet.
Shuichi pulled back from the toilet and sighed heavily. He swallowed hard. Just as he was about to open his mouth, his eyes went wide and bile rose up his throat. He jerked and threw himself back over the toilet again.
"What the hell is happening in here?" Suguru cried as he ran into the bathroom.
"Well what does it look like?" Hiro snapped, leaning down in unison with Suguru. He crawled over to Shuichi and stroked his hair. "He got nervous and spewed all over. Thank God the dope got to the bathroom in time." Suguru went to go kneel on the opposite side of the puking boy, but Hiro stopped him. "I said he got to the bathroom, not the toilet," he added, pointing to the puddle of Shuichi's dinner that Suguru was about to sit in.
The keyboardist sighed heavily. He watched as Shuichi leaned back in a short reprieve from vomiting. "Are you going to be okay?" he asked, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on the singer's shoulder.
Shuichi nodded slowly and wiped at his mouth. "Yeah," he replied in a raspy voice. "When do we go on?"
Hiro frowned and reached out to flush the toilet. "Well, we're supposed to go on now, but I told K-san to put ASK's next song on first to give us time." He shook his head. "But you can't sing like this."
"Yes I can!!" Shuichi cried, jumping up. He winced slightly and leaned against the wall for support. "I'll be fine in a minute," he added with less confidence.
"I doubt that." Suguru stood, followed by Hiro. The keyboardist crossed his arms. "Why were you so nervous?"
"I…" Shuichi looked down in embarrassment. "I'm worried about the new song I guess…"
Hiro rolled his eyes heavenward. "This wouldn't have happened if you didn't change it last minute."
"I know…" the singer responded meekly.
"It's okay."
The three occupants of the bathroom turned to the door way to see K standing there. He leaned against the doorframe, blue eyes sparkling.
"You can do it, can't you?" The American reached for his shoulder holster. "Or do you need some motivation, Shindou?"
The vocalist stiffened. "No! No motivation, thanks! I'm fine!!" He rushed over to the sink and washed out his mouth to further his statement.
"Good, because you're on in less then a minute." K grinned in the way only he knew how.
"One minute?!" Hiro and Suguru both cried. They turned to Shuichi, hoping for some way out of it.
Shuichi was looking at himself in the mirror and was met with a pale, almost green, complexion. He frowned. Was he really well enough to go out there?
"It's for Mr. Yuki, isn't it?" the gun wielding blonde asked. Shuichi's ears perked. "You can do it for him, can't you?"
Bad Luck's guitarist, keyboardist, and manager all studied their singer carefully. It was all on Shuichi's shoulders now.
The pink haired boy hung his head. He clenched his clammy fists and shook softly. Suguru held his breath, Hiro clenched his jaw, and K arched an eyebrow.
"Ten seconds…" the tall blonde informed in a low voice that seemed to cut into Shuichi despite it's gentle volume.
"Well, then…" Shuichi snapped his head up to stare at himself in the mirror. His normal complexion was back and his violet-eyes were alive again. He glared at himself in determination. "We better hurry."
The applause of ASK's "Sleigh Ride" filled the concert hall along with many screams such as "Ma-kun, you're so kick ass!", or "I love your glasses, Ken-chan!", or "Taki, you're my idol!!". The cries of adoration continued even after the three strode off stage.
Shuichi's stomach lurched again as the three neared. This time he wanted to be sick from anger, not nervousness. After all, the band was given a second chance under NG Records despite everything Taki had done. Every time Bad Luck's lead singer met eyes with ASK's lead singer, Shuichi felt like punching the droopy eyed man out.
"Hey," Taki drawled, nearing the younger boy. "I heard you got sick."
"Yes. And I'm fine now, thank you," Shuichi bit out angrily.
"Right." Taki stuffed his hands into his pockets and let out a breath. "All that matters is that you're doing better."
Shuichi blinked. Sure, there was a tinge of vehemence in the older singer's voice, but it was much kinder then usual.
"You can top those screams," the raven-haired man asked, referring to the cries of the audience, "can't you?" He paused and caught eyes with Shuichi. "Just like you always do. No matter the circumstances, you'll go out there and beat us." He sighed and began to walk away. "Feel better."
Shuichi stood, dumbfounded. The crowd's pandemonium slowly died down.
"Hey, Shuichi." Hiro nudged the singer. "Come on."
The said boy quickly snapped around. "Was that a compliment?!" he cried out to Taki's retreating back. Hiro quickly ordered Shuichi to shush, but the singer would have none of it. "Hey! Was it?!"
A low rumble of laughter and a wave over Aizawa Taki's shoulder was Shuichi's only reply.
"Come on!" Suguru hissed, pushing Shuichi onstage.
The vocalist stumbled on, followed by his two coworkers. They took their places on the dimly lit stage and paused, waiting for the lights to come up. Blues, reds, greens, violets, and yellows flooded the stage.
The screaming soon came. The screaming that topped ASK's by far.
We haven't even sung anything yet… Shuichi marveled. This was one of the smallest audiences Bad Luck had performed for in a long, long time, and yet this was the first time Shuichi really noticed how filled with adored Bad Luck was. A pang of guilt stabbed at him, but he quickly brushed it aside.
"Hey, hey, hey!!" Shuichi cried into his microphone over the crowd. "Here's Bad Luck for you!!" The guilt came again when the roars grew. "This song is dedicated to someone, so please watch us closely." He smiled wilder when the audience began to shush in respect. The guilt faded. "This song is for someone very special to me that couldn't be here for Christmas." He laughed nervously. "It was kind of a last minute decision, so I hope we don't disappoint."
All the members of Bad Luck gaped in shock as cries of "Yuki Eiri couldn't be here?!" and such filled the hall. Suguru hung his head and sighed heavily. Shuichi stuttered nervously, trying to calm the crowd down. Hiro laughed into his hands to muffle out the sound but the microphones picked it up anyway.
"Now, now," Shuichi offered, "if I can handle it, so can you." He grinned cheesily. "Or do you want us not to sing?" He laughed warmly as cries of protest rang out. "Okay then! Guys!!" He turned to Hiro and Suguru. "Let's rock!"
A slow melody was played by Suguru's nimble fingers. The synthesizer was set to sound like little bells which instantly hushed the howling throng of people. Hiro played a soft cord that trembled throughout the hall. Shuichi took a slow breath in and began to sing.
"I don't want a lot for Christmas," he sang gently with his eyes closed. "There is just one thing I need." The crowd cooed sympathetically. "I don't care about no presents/ Underneath the Christmas tree." He took a slow breath to relax himself. "I just want you for my own/ More then you could ever know." More "awww"s followed. "Make my wish come true." Shuichi held out the last note of the line and played around with the variations. Even though he had his eyes closed he could picture the crowd as he listened to them go wild. His smile was barely suppressed. "All I want for Christmas…" There were more hollers at the singer's wonderful tenor. "Is…" Shuichi snapped his eyes open. "You!"
Hiro wailed down harshly on his guitar, ripping through the serenity of the first verse. Suguru pounded out cords that resonated perfectly with the tearing guitar. The crowd went crazy at the sudden pick up in pace that was adorned with an unusual rock style.
A job well done, Shuichi thought proudly. They had really pulled it off.
"I don't want a lot for Christmas," the pink-haired boy came in, singing with all the energy he had in him. "There is just one thing I need." Hiro and Suguru backed him up with an "And I…" and small "oooh"s throughout the next line. "'Don't care about no presents/ Underneath the Christmas tree." Shuichi gripped the microphone stand and bent over it. "I won't even hang my stocking/ There upon the fireplace." He threw his head back. "Santa Clause won't make me happy/ With a toy on Christmas day!!" He turned back to the calls of the audience. "I just want you for my own/ More then you could ever know!!" He bobbed slightly to the beat of the synthesizer. "Make my wish come true/ All I want for Christmas is you!!"
Shuichi took a short reprieve as Hiro and Suguru stopped echoing the chorus and sang an "Ooooo, baby." The two musicians jammed harder. In a quick breath Shuichi was back at it. "Oh, I want ask for much this Christmas/ I wont' even wish for snow." The crowed cheered at the small pout the singer made. Hiro and Suguru sang an "And I…" and then began to echo Shuichi again. "Just wanna keep my baby/ Underneath the mistletoe." The audience cried out even more, causing Shuichi to blush. "I won't make a list and send it/ To the North Pole for Saint Nick." He shook his head sadly. "I won't even stay awake/ To hear those magic reindeer click." Shuichi pulled his hands away from the microphone and wrapped his arms around himself. "Cuz I just want you here tonight/ Holding on to me so tight." He wriggled up and down as he had done earlier for Eiri. A wave of sadness washed over him even as the audience cheered enthusiastically. "What more can I do?" he sang, with just a tinge of gloom. "Oh baby, all I want for Christmas is you!"
Shuichi pulled back a few inches as Hiro and Suguru finished their echoes. All attention was turned to Hiro as the ripped on his guitar with a floor-trembling solo. It was a quick touch that the three had come up with in their frenzied state of writing the song in Bad Luck style. The audience was crazy and whooping. Shuichi pretended to not be amazed at how fluid Hiro's movements were even when playing such an aggressive solo. Towards the end Suguru came in as an accompaniment, which pleased the crowd greatly. Soon Hiro was just playing heavy chords to emphasize the keyboardist's harmony. A few more seconds passed of accelerandos and mezzo fortes, until Shuichi stepped back up to his boom-stand and resumed singing in a less dramatic state.
"All the lights are shining/ So brightly everywhere," he sang sweetly, calming down the audience. "And the sound of children's/ Laughter fills the air." He watched the mob with disheartened eyes. "Everyone is singing/ I hear those sleigh bells ringing." He sucked in a quick breath. "Santa won't you bring me the one I really need/ Won't you please bring my baby to me!" He sang right through and scooped up into the chorus. "Oh, I don't want a lot for Christmas/ This is all I'm asking for." He sniffed as his head began to pound. "I just wanna see my baby/ Standing right outside my door." The spectators began to notice the melancholy in the vocalist's voice and quieted down significantly. Shuichi looked down to his feet, too embarrassed to stare out into the audience anymore. Hiro and Suguru eyed him carefully. "Oh, I just want you for my own/ More then you could ever know." He took in a shuddering breath that didn't go unnoticed. "Make my wish come true/ Oh baby, all I want for Christmas…" He gulped hard as his voice wavered. "Is…" Shuichi clenched his jaw in a desperate act to not start crying. He completely missed his cue to finish the line. Hiro and Suguru quickly picked up where he left out will small chants of "You, baby! All I want for Christmas is you, baby!" Shuichi snapped his head back up and joined in with Hiro and Suguru. A forced smile graced his lips. The song was written so that Shuichi was supposed to be singing different embellishments on "You" while Hiro and Suguru chanted, but his voice was wavering too much. The audience didn't seem to mind.
The crowd cheered at volumes and decibels even Shuichi couldn't fathom. The sheer adoration that they had for Bad Luck and the infamous Yuki-Shuichi couple was amazing. Shuichi choked back a sob.
"Thank you all!" he cried into the microphone. "We'll be back on stage later for you!" With that and a quick wave he ran off stage, leaving a fumbling Suguru and pleased Hiro behind.
Shuichi buried his face in his hands and sobbed harder. He sat at a chair in his dressing room, elbows leaning on the table before him. Hiro sat on the table and stroked pink locks gently. After a moment Shuichi folded his arms on the table in rested on them, crying harder.
"Shhh…" Hiro whispered softly, running his fingers up and down his bestfriend's back. "Don't worry. It'll be okay."
"No it won't!" Shuichi cried between sobs. "God, why does it hurt so much?!"
Hiro smiled warmly. "Because you love him," he hushed.
The crying boy stilled for a moment. He sniffled. "I do…" He rubbed desperately at his eyes. "But it's just a holiday. There's no need to… oh God," he whimpered, setting the sobbing off again.
Hiro shifted closer to Shuichi. He grinned and patted the boy on the head. "If you pay me I'll make love to you and let you call me Yuki."
Despite the tears, a small bubble of laughter broke the singer's lips. He lifted his head from his arms and stared at Hiro in something akin to mild amusement. "Would you really?" Shuichi asked as playfully as possible.
Hiro tapped his friend's nose. "Prolly not, cuz Yuki-san would kick my ass." He thought for a minute. "Unless it was a huge sum of money."
Shuichi pouted. "Gee, thanks." He rested his head back on his arms. A moment of silence passed, but it was soon broken by a small sniffle. "Hiro…?"
The brunette leaned back on his arms. "Yeah?"
"I miss him…" the pink-haired man replied in a small voice.
Hiro smiled softly. "I know." He resumed stroking the aforementioned pink hair. "I know…" He titled his head back and stared at the lighting fixtures. "But ya know… I think he misses you, too…"
Shuichi closed his eyes in a pained expression. "I doubt it…" He sniffled again. "He's probably glad to have me gone… I annoyed him so much yesterday, Hiro… We got into such a fight, and… Oh, Hiro…!" Shuichi bit down harshly on his lip as the tears swelled again. "I'm so selfish…"
The guitarist let his eyes slid down and rested at the doorway of the dressing room. He smiled at the sight that caught his eye. "Selfish?" Hiro asked, letting his eyes fall to Shuichi. "You're not selfish at all. Despite how much you love him, you told him to go. Right?" Hiro looked back to the doorway. His smile spread.
Shuichi nodded and sobbed softly. "But I didn't want him to go… I just wanted him all to myself…! He really is all I want, Hiro, and I don't know why it hurts so bad, but it does, and I just can't take it, and I want him here with me, and I want us to spend our first Christmas as a couple together. My God, is that too much to ask?!" he cried, rambling on and on, only stopping to sob.
"Not really."
Shuichi sucked in a deep breath at the sound of the oh-so-familiar velvety voice that melted his heart. He slowly brought his head up from where it lay on his arms. He stared dead ahead for a moment, before whipping around and catching site of what lay in the doorway.
"Yuki!"
Shuichi jumped up from his chair, causing it to clatter to the ground. He stood, frozen, a mere three feet away from the man he wanted more then anything in the world.
Hiro jumped down from his seat on the table and strode over to Eiri. "I called him and told him how much you missed him and all," he informed Shuichi. Hiro patted a hand on the older man's shoulder as he walked by. "Don't make him cry too much more," he demanded teasingly. "We still have two more songs to sing." And with that Hiro left, closing the door behind him.
Shuichi shuddered. "Yuki…"
"Idiot." Eiri glared at the boy in front of him with angry eyes. "Why did you act like it was fine if you really didn't want me to go?"
The boy crumpled into a fit of tears again. He sobbed both in relief and guilt. "I'm sorry, Yuki!!" he cried into his hands. "I just wanted you to be with your family! Mika said it was best, and that's what I want for you! But I'm selfish and now you're back, and I've ruined everything! Yuki, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to screw it all up! God, Yuki, I—"
"Shut up."
Shuichi tensed, quickly shutting his mouth. He bit down on his bottom lip to try to repress the sobbing.
"Just… shut up…"
The boy blinked. Was that a crack he heard in Eiri's voice?
He brought his head up from his hands. He watched in tear-blurred confusion as the novelist closed the gap between them. Eiri's arms curled around the younger man's waist. Shuichi trembled and caught his lover's gaze.
"Yuki…" The singer reached a hand up to graze across Eiri's cheek. "Your eyes…"
Eiri frowned, trying to blink away the thin layer of tears that began to swell. "I said shut up," he snapped in an oddly endearing way.
Shuichi opened his mouth to speak again but quickly shut it. Eiri pulled the boy closer and brushed his lips against his lover's temple.
"You should have said something," the novelist whispered gruffly. "You should have said that you didn't want me to go…"
"Yuki," the boy moaned. "I'm sorry." He gasped and pulled back, shutting his mouth. Eiri nudged him a little as if to give him permission to talk. "I..." he began hesitantly. "I… didn't want to be a bigger bother…" He looked away, ashamed. "I know I annoy you, so I thought you'd be happier with your family." He looked back up to Eiri with worried, tear-filled eyes. "When did you get back? Is your family mad?"
"My dad's pissed, but I don't care. And I got back just in time for the concert. I left early this morning." He smirked. "I was a little disappointed. You dedicated that song to someone who couldn't be with you for Christmas. It obviously wasn't me then…"
"Oh, Yuki!" Shuichi threw himself in the blonde's arms. "I'm sorry!" he cried again.
"Don't worry." Eiri's voice was surprisingly gentle. "Christmas is a time to be with those you love, you said so yourself. And I'm sure somewhere deep down I love my family, but I'd rather be here."
Shuichi jerked himself back. Did Eiri just indirectly say the he loved Shuichi? No, surely that wasn't possible…!
"Yuki…" The boy's eyes stared into Eiri's own amber ones searchingly. "Did you just…?"
"I really do hate to break this up…" Both men turned to the voice in the door. "…but we're on in a minute," Hiro finished.
Shuichi sighed in disappointment. He smiled up sadly at Eiri who was smirking somewhat back.
"Okay then." The writer loosened his hold on the boy. "I'll be in the audience. I'll pick you up afterwards," he smiled confidently, "at ten." Shuichi blushed, thoroughly pleased that Eiri remembered the correct time.
"Are you sure it's okay you're here?" the singer asked apprehensively. "I feel really bad abo—"
Shuichi was cut off as the blonde pressed his lips against the boy's own. The younger man blushed deeper in embarrassment at being kissed so deeply in front of Hiro. Never-the-less, his eyes drooped closed and he kissed back feverishly. It had only been a day, and yet…
"Shindou!"
Eiri's arms tightened around the singer, crushing him close.
"Oh come on, leave 'em alone!"
Shuichi whimpered softly as Eiri's tongue caressed all the right spots.
"We're on in thirty seconds!"
The writer groaned deep in his throat at the sensation of the boy's hands running through his hair.
"The audience can wait a bit, Fujisaki."
Shuichi arched at the feel of Eiri's teeth dragging along his bottom lip.
"If K comes in here he'll shoot us all!"
Eiri pulled away from his lover's mouth and began to leave a hot trail of kisses down the boy's jaw and throat,
"It's no big deal! We've got a couple of seconds."
Shuichi let out a small mewl of delight at the older man's assault on his neck.
"Not anymore! Do you hear that?! That's the audience clapping!! Nittle Grasper just finished their last song! We have to go out!"
Eiri soon found himself hoisting Shuichi up to wrap the boy's legs about his waist. His mouth was on the singer's again as he lead them to the table.
"Gyaah!! What's going on in here?! You're supposed to be going on stage now!!! Ahhh! The President will kill me!"
Shuichi pulled back from the kiss and leaned up. He flicked his tongue across Eiri's ear as he was laid down on the table.
"Sakano-san! Make them stop!!"
Eiri cursed lowly at the heat Shuichi was causing by the attack on his ear. He pulled back and glared at the grinning, flushed boy.
"Hey, guys. We're supposed to on stage…"
"Don't do that!" Eiri growled dangerously. "Especially not in…" He twisted his head around to the group of Hiro, Suguru and Sakano that had gathered. "…public," he added feebly.
Both men briskly pulled apart from one another and attempted at straightening themselves. Eiri cleared his throat and acted nonchalant. Shuichi, meanwhile, was fumbling to fix his attire and mellow down his tousled hair.
"Shindou-kun!!" Sakano wailed, thoroughly embarrassed at the spectacle he just witnessed. "You're supposed to be on stage!"
"Ah, ah," Shuichi breathed. "So I am." He grinned. "What are we waiting here for, then? Let's go!"
Sakano screeched wearily deep in his throat and fell to the ground. Hiro laughed heartily and began to walk to the stage, followed by an exasperated Suguru.
Shuichi finished straightening himself and looked to Eiri. A meek smile graced his lips. He waved and ran out of the room. After a few paces he spun around, calling out "I love you!!" to Eiri. He vaguely heard the writer call something back, but it was drowned out by the restless crowd.
Author's Notes: I wrote 5/6ths of that today. O_o; I'm exhausted. I hope it doesn't disappoint anyone… Remember to review!!! One more chapter left, boys and girls!