Cruel Fates
By:IceQueen
Book I: Chapter 3: A Memory Made To Last
AN: Hello, all. I hope you enjoyed chapter 2. Well, this is chapter 3, and things do get a little less depressing in here. I'm skipping a lot of time in my chapters because it would be too much of a pain to go through every day of Silvara's life. I mean, she's got a pretty eventful life. Well, enjoy and review. The more reviews I get the faster I post.
It had been a few months since Damien and Silvara had made a breakthrough in their relationship. Now the two had formed a what could almost be called 'friendship.'
Silvara clomped down the stairs slowly, hesitating at the bottom. Today was her birthday, and no one remembered. She was miserable. Titian hadn't said anything about it nor had her father or mother. Not that she expected her to.
Frowning, Silvara left the house and rode the Winds to Draega, the village near Tersa's place.
Reaching the village she walked at a leisurely pace to the tavern. Upon entering a barmaid asked her what she wanted. "Porridge, biscuits, and ale," Silvara answered. Even if I'm not having a party, she thought, I'm going to damn well be drunk. The barmaid observed her for a bit, then left as if deciding money was far more important than age limit. Which I'm sure it is for her, Silvara amended, noting the woman's worn clothing.
Silvara chose to sit at a table near the back where no one would bother her. "Sometimes it's good to be alone with one's thoughts," she said to herself. Just then she heard someone- several someone's- enter the tavern and felt the rush of familiar power. Oh no, she thought, spoke too soon. She just prayed whoever it was wouldn't notice her.
The barmaid chose just then to deliver her food. The woman made a big commotion, yelling halfway across the room, "You want honey with that?" She nodded her head as the newcomers turned to see whom the barmaid was speaking to. She groaned when she saw Damien, Daemonar, and Nicolai, Karla's son. The barmaid set her food on the table alone with the bill.
"Well, well, well," Daemonar began, " What have we here?" Silvara frowned. "What's it look like, you overgrown dung beetle?" She snapped back. Damien smirked and invited himself to the seat next to her. She frowned even deeper and narrowed her eyes at him, but said nothing because Nicolai and Daemonar had followed his example.
The barmaid returned, taking the boys orders. "Hello," Damien finally said after she had left. "Yes, greetings to you too," Silvara coldly replied. "Hi, Silvara. Nice to see you again," Nicolai politely said. "Yes, I'm sure," she replied sarcastically while rolling her eyes skyward. "Not in the mood to talk, I take it," Damien said. Silvara snapped, "No I am not in the mood to talk, you FUCKING INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE!!!" She yelled, slamming her spoon down. "Geez," he said, and scooted closer to Nicolai. Daemonar looked at her with interest. "What's eating you?" he asked, uncharacteristically quiet. She just glared in reply.
The quartet ate silently for the rest of the time. Silvara barely glanced at her unwanted companions throughout the entire time. She ate with focused intensity, devouring first her porridge, then cramming biscuits down her throat. When that was finished she focused on the pitcher of ale which had been brought to their table. She drank almost the whole thing, save a glass or two drunken by Daemonar. Finishing that she dropped enough money on the table for the bill and a hefty tip. Then she got up silently and left.
Silvara caught the Winds to Tersa's home and wished futilely that she hadn't drunk so much. By the time she got to Tersa's she was so dizzy she had to sit down and rest several times. Finally she made it to Tersa's front door! She knocked loudly. The noise left a ringing in her head. A moment later the woman answered, holding a dish rag in her right hand.
Tersa gave her one long glance before she hustled Silvara inside. She made the girl sit down in a kitchen chair, and left a moment to retrieve a glass of water. Before taking a big gulp Silvara tested it. Herbs had been added. "It will help with the dizziness and later on, the headache," Tersa said. She nodded in reply. Silvara finished the water and stood up. "Thank you, Tersa," she said quietly as she left. Tersa nodded absently, not looking up from her loom.
Leaving Tersa's house Silvara thought about where she could go next to procrastinate going home. The Hall- no wait, the boys would be there. Titian's- no wait, she and Surreal are visiting Morghann. Sighing, she caught the Winds and plopped down near Glacia's border. A quaint little town, she thought, pleased with herself. This will be a great place to waste some hours.
Silvara set off with renewed spirits. Today is market day! She thought, and laughed out loud. Time to spend all that saved allowance cash. She walked to a vendor selling antiquities. "Hello there, miss!" He called out almost immediately. "Can I help you?"
"Just looking," she replied absently. Something shiny caught her eye. She looked at it. It was a necklace. Obviously landen, she thought as she surveyed the angel hanging from it. "Ah yes. Beautiful necklace. The landen who sold it to me said it was a 'guardian angel.' That it would always watch over the wearer," the vendor said to explain its origins. "I'll take it," she said and handed over the amount he asked for.
She clasped the pendant around her neck, smiling as it rested just over her breastbone. Darkness knew she needed something to watch over her.
Stopping at another vendor, a blue sheer fabric caught her eye. She reached for it- and another hand clasped on it at the same moment. Startled she looked up into another girl's stormy gray eyes. "Um.. excuse me, but I need to buy this fabric," the girl said. She had light red hair that came just past her ears with long bangs. "Sorry," Silvara said and removed her hand. "That's okay," the girl said, "By the way, I'm Sarai."
"Silvara," she replied. "Nice to meet you," Sarai said while handing the vendor his money. "You too," Silvara said, "Hey, have you been here before?" "Yeah, once or twice," Sarai replied, smiling curiously. "Could you show me around?" she asked with a sweet smile. "Sure!" Sarai answered, her smile going 1000 watts.
Together the two walked down the bustling street with Sarai explaining everything and Silvara listening intently, while thinking about the girl's origins. She travels a lot, she thought, noticing the sturdy boots, trousers, and warm coat she wore.
"So where're you from?" Silvara asked on impulse. "Here and there," came the cryptic answer. "Oh," Silvara replied, extremely intrigued. This girl obviously had some stories to tell even though she couldn't be much older than Silvara. And when they stopped for lunch she finally got the chance to ask. After a few drinks Sarai became very open and loose tongued.
"Yeah, we live in the Circuit," Sarai said with a mouthful of potato. "What's a 'Circuit?' Who's 'we?'" Silvara asked, enthralled. "Um, well it's kinda like a family, except we're not related. We travel together, picking up and loosing people as we go. There're other Circuits out there too," Sarai said, not being very clear. "Uh huh, so who are these people in the Circuit?" She replied. "The older ones are leftovers from the purge, but the ones my age are children of the leftovers, or orphans, or runaways. After the purge with their parents or owners dead the people started travelling in groups called 'Circuits.' It's really fun," Sarai explained. "Wow, it sounds so," She paused, searching for the right word, "freeing."
"It is. Believe me," Sarai replied, "Hey, if you really wanna know what it's like come to one of our bashes. It's tomorrow night." Sarai called in a pen and scribbled an address on a napkin. "Tell 'em Sarai sent you. They'll let you right in," the girl said with a smile. "Alright," Silvara replied while vanishing the napkin.
The two shopped a bit longer, then parted ways. Sarai, to return to the Circuit, and Silvara to return home.
A
rriving home Silvara noticed the calm quiet first. Normally everywhere you turn something was happening. Weird, she thought, but entered the house anyway. It was too dark and quiet. "Hello!" She called out, "Is anyone home?" Feeling a flash of panic Silvara started to open doors to room·¶ s, calling while she did so. Finally she came upon the kitchen. On the table sat a note. On it lay her father's neat handwriting.
Silvara ~
We're at the Hall. Please meet us there as soon as you read this.
Love,
Father
She cursed out loud. Not another long night at the Hall! Inwardly she groaned. Then sighed in defeat. "Might as well get going," Silvara said to herself. She started at a dead run to the Web Landing, imaging the lecture she was going to receive.
Silvara hesitated at the door, not sure how to respond when Lord Beale didn't open the door. She shook her head and pushed open the door--- and was greeted by darkness and silence. Odd, she thought. Just then light bloomed overhead.
"SURPRISE!!" was heard as the light reached its pinnacle. Surprise, indeed, Silvara thought as everyone she knew stood before her. "Um. Okay. Did you guys waste the good surprise on me?" She asked, not comprehending the situation. "No, stupid," Titian said as she came up and took Silvara's hand, "It is your birthday."
"Oh. Okay," she said slowly, surveying the room. The entire Coven was there with their husbands and children.
"C'mon," Titian said while tugging on her. Silvara followed her up the long stairway and down a maze of corridors. "You remembered," she said dazedly. "Of course we did!" Titian cried, "Did you think we'd forget?"
"Yes," she admitted truthfully. They arrived at a door, which opened with a flick of Titian's wrist. "There's the bathroom. Take a shower. I'll leave some clothes out for you," Titian ordered. Wordlessly she obeyed.
Under the hot water she wondered why they'd done this. It has mother written all over it, she thought with certainty. But still, they're all here to celebrate my birthday. Suddenly she smiled. Done washing, she got out and dried off.
Then she noticed the elegant black dress hanging on the door and the high heels beneath it. Quickly she dressed and admired the way it looked like it was made just for her. The dress was made of silk and ended just below her knees, flaring slightly. A slit started mid-thigh and went all the way down. The dress was held up by two straps, criss-crossed in the back to form a complicated network of strings. She walked out of the bathroom.
"You like?" Titian asked as she got out. "Yeah," she said quietly. "It's your gift from me, mom, and dad," Titian stated. "Thank you," she said with a shy smile. "Come here and sit down. I'm going to do your makeup," Titian ordered. Silvara sat in the indicated chair. Immediately Titian had her close her eyes.
Minutes later an entirely different person stared out from the mirror at Silvara. Silver lined her eyes, while light violet lips pursed in surprise. Her long, wavy, silver hair had been dried and brushed. In Titian's standards it barely made a difference, but to Silvara it did. "Come on, let's go downstairs," Titian said already walking out the door. She hurried to catch up. The duo walked in silence downstairs, but Silvara paused outside the door to the ballroom. "What?" Titian asked curiously. Silvara called in her Sapphire jewel pendant and ring, both in their traditional Dea al Mon setting. "Now I'm ready," she said. Titian nodded and pushed the door open.
As they walked in all went silent. "Is this a party or a wake?" Silvara said loud enough for the whole room to hear. The tension left the room as laughter rang out. Titian moved away for a moment, then returned with Daemonar and two glasses of wine. "You knew," Silvara stated while taking the offered glass, and glaring at Daemonar. "Yeah," he answered with his father's arrogant smile plastered on his face. Calmly, containing her irritation, she walked away.
It was obvious this party hadn't been planned for her benefit. Five-sixths of the people present she knew as nothing more than acquaintances. "Silvara," came the call from her left. She looked. Jaenelle stood up from her seat and walked up to her. "You don't seem to be enjoying yourself," Jaenelle said, coming to walk beside her. "I'm not," she answered bluntly with a sweet smile plastered on her face.
"I told them not to invite the whole Coven," Jaenelle said quietly. "I appreciate that. Who planned this?" Silvara asked, wanting to know who had sealed her fate. "I believe it was Titian's idea, but then your parents took over," Jaenelle replied. "Ah, now it makes perfect sense," she said with a cryptic smile. "Where's Daemon?" Silvara asked suddenly. Usually the two were inseperable. Jaenelle waved a hand to their right indicating Daemon, Lucivar, Falonar, and Saetan. Behind them she could see Titian and Daemonar dancing. "Whaddya know," she murmured quietly. Jaenelle noticed what she was staring at. "Yes, they make a cute couple. Come," Jaenelle said.
The two women in black walked to a shadowy and sparsely populated area of the room. It seemed appropriate for Silvara's mood. She had known that this was just another way for Gabrielle to torture her. Suddenly she asked, "What'd I do to make her hate me so much?"
"I don't know, but for what it's worth, I don't approve of the way she treats you either," Jaenelle answered with a sad undertone. "It means a lot. Thank you," she said. The two ladies stood silently, drinking, until Daemon came up to them.
"There you are," Daemon said, giving his wife a quick peck on the cheek. "And happy birthday to you," Daemon said to Silvara. "Yes, 'happy' indeed," she replied with a self-depreciating smile. Daemon whispered something in his wife's ear and the two of them walked off to the dance floor.
Now alone, Silvara truly looked at all the people there. The happy couples dancing and laughing joyously. The girls her age smiling and talking together, mostly about the boys. The boyos joking with one another, occasionally going over to the girls to flirt. Disgusting, she thought with a sneer.
"Hey," Damien said to her. She jumped, "Mother Night! Don't sneak up on me like that!" She cried while pivoting to face him. "Sorry," he said with a smile. "That's okay," she said, smiling back. His smile was infectious. "What're you doing back here being all sulky?" Damien asked. "Breathing," she replied tartly. "Wow, sounds like fun," he replied, rolling his eyes. "Yep. A regular barrel o' monkeys," Silvara answered. "C'mon," Damien said while taking her hand and yanking her forward. She was too tired to argue.
That is, until she realized where he was taking her. "Damien," she pleaded, "Damien, no." The dance floor loomed threateningly before her. "I'm a horrible dancer, Damien," she said as an excuse. He looked back with a raised brow, but ignored her. Damien continued to pull her straight into the throng of dancers. "Please," she begged, "Don't make me dance." But it was too late. They were on the floor with her hand in his and his other hand resting on her waist. Instinctively she raised her hand and rested it on his shoulder. Then they started moving together, at first on unsteady feet, then spinning faster and faster. Her surroundings become nothing more than a blur and her earlier troubles were at the back of her mind. The two danced until it was time for Silvara to go home.
*****************
Arriving at home Silvara endured a scathing lecture from her mother on her tardiness. Her father, as usual, remained silent neither attacking nor defending. A typical male reaction when forced to choose between two females.
After that she walked upstairs slowly, tears forging pathways down her high cheekbones. Silvara slowly pushed the door open to her room, and immediately slipped off the high heels. She went into the bathroom to wash up and ended up staring at her own pathetic face.
How dare you let her get to you!!
I can't help it. She's so good at making me feel like shit.
Stand up for yourself, weakling! What kind of Dea al Mon Queen are you?!?
The weak kind who can't stand up for herself.
Stop pretending. Be what you really are.
What I really am. Heh. What a joke.
She could feel herself fracturing, one side lying belly-up, the other half with icy rage filling her.
Joke? This is no joke, Sister. It is you who is a joke. Letting other beings control you. You are pathetic.
I know. She always tells me that. You need a new insult.
A new insult? I think I could find one. How about stupid? Or maybe blind? You let them walk all over you!
How so?
Time and time again they hurt you, and time and time again you forgive them. Say it will be better tomorrow. Only it never is. That is true weakness.
T
he rage within her finally reached its pinnacle and exploded. Silvara grabbed the little shelf holding her toiletries and ripped it off the wall bringing with it a chunk of plaster. She held it high above her head and with a loud cry, smashed it into the mirror. That made the voices shut up and meld back into one. Slivers of glass had flown into her hair·¶ and cut her arms and face. She ignored them.
Walking back into her room she stripped and pulled on a nightshirt. Then she fell into bed, weary from the battle within her own mind.
Meanwhile Jaenelle and Daemon were also getting ready for bed. "So what were you and Silvara talking about earlier?" Daemon asked in a neutral tone. "Mistreatment," Jaenelle answered, suddenly sad. "You know, she reminds me of myself," Jaenelle started, "When I was in Terreille. She wears a mask all the time, but inside she's in such pain."
"I know. I've seen," Daemon replied. "You know, last week when I was visiting Tersa she said that the Fates were coming for Silvara, and the future would depend on her own decision," Jaenelle said while pulling back the covers. "What's that mean?" Daemon asked, confused, while crawling into bed. "I don't know," Jaenelle answered as she drifted off into sleep.
AN: Hola. What did you think? See it was a little less depressing. I had fun writing the whole split personalities part. Anyway, R & R! More reviews = faster updates.
By:IceQueen
Book I: Chapter 3: A Memory Made To Last
AN: Hello, all. I hope you enjoyed chapter 2. Well, this is chapter 3, and things do get a little less depressing in here. I'm skipping a lot of time in my chapters because it would be too much of a pain to go through every day of Silvara's life. I mean, she's got a pretty eventful life. Well, enjoy and review. The more reviews I get the faster I post.
It had been a few months since Damien and Silvara had made a breakthrough in their relationship. Now the two had formed a what could almost be called 'friendship.'
Silvara clomped down the stairs slowly, hesitating at the bottom. Today was her birthday, and no one remembered. She was miserable. Titian hadn't said anything about it nor had her father or mother. Not that she expected her to.
Frowning, Silvara left the house and rode the Winds to Draega, the village near Tersa's place.
Reaching the village she walked at a leisurely pace to the tavern. Upon entering a barmaid asked her what she wanted. "Porridge, biscuits, and ale," Silvara answered. Even if I'm not having a party, she thought, I'm going to damn well be drunk. The barmaid observed her for a bit, then left as if deciding money was far more important than age limit. Which I'm sure it is for her, Silvara amended, noting the woman's worn clothing.
Silvara chose to sit at a table near the back where no one would bother her. "Sometimes it's good to be alone with one's thoughts," she said to herself. Just then she heard someone- several someone's- enter the tavern and felt the rush of familiar power. Oh no, she thought, spoke too soon. She just prayed whoever it was wouldn't notice her.
The barmaid chose just then to deliver her food. The woman made a big commotion, yelling halfway across the room, "You want honey with that?" She nodded her head as the newcomers turned to see whom the barmaid was speaking to. She groaned when she saw Damien, Daemonar, and Nicolai, Karla's son. The barmaid set her food on the table alone with the bill.
"Well, well, well," Daemonar began, " What have we here?" Silvara frowned. "What's it look like, you overgrown dung beetle?" She snapped back. Damien smirked and invited himself to the seat next to her. She frowned even deeper and narrowed her eyes at him, but said nothing because Nicolai and Daemonar had followed his example.
The barmaid returned, taking the boys orders. "Hello," Damien finally said after she had left. "Yes, greetings to you too," Silvara coldly replied. "Hi, Silvara. Nice to see you again," Nicolai politely said. "Yes, I'm sure," she replied sarcastically while rolling her eyes skyward. "Not in the mood to talk, I take it," Damien said. Silvara snapped, "No I am not in the mood to talk, you FUCKING INSENSITIVE ASSHOLE!!!" She yelled, slamming her spoon down. "Geez," he said, and scooted closer to Nicolai. Daemonar looked at her with interest. "What's eating you?" he asked, uncharacteristically quiet. She just glared in reply.
The quartet ate silently for the rest of the time. Silvara barely glanced at her unwanted companions throughout the entire time. She ate with focused intensity, devouring first her porridge, then cramming biscuits down her throat. When that was finished she focused on the pitcher of ale which had been brought to their table. She drank almost the whole thing, save a glass or two drunken by Daemonar. Finishing that she dropped enough money on the table for the bill and a hefty tip. Then she got up silently and left.
Silvara caught the Winds to Tersa's home and wished futilely that she hadn't drunk so much. By the time she got to Tersa's she was so dizzy she had to sit down and rest several times. Finally she made it to Tersa's front door! She knocked loudly. The noise left a ringing in her head. A moment later the woman answered, holding a dish rag in her right hand.
Tersa gave her one long glance before she hustled Silvara inside. She made the girl sit down in a kitchen chair, and left a moment to retrieve a glass of water. Before taking a big gulp Silvara tested it. Herbs had been added. "It will help with the dizziness and later on, the headache," Tersa said. She nodded in reply. Silvara finished the water and stood up. "Thank you, Tersa," she said quietly as she left. Tersa nodded absently, not looking up from her loom.
Leaving Tersa's house Silvara thought about where she could go next to procrastinate going home. The Hall- no wait, the boys would be there. Titian's- no wait, she and Surreal are visiting Morghann. Sighing, she caught the Winds and plopped down near Glacia's border. A quaint little town, she thought, pleased with herself. This will be a great place to waste some hours.
Silvara set off with renewed spirits. Today is market day! She thought, and laughed out loud. Time to spend all that saved allowance cash. She walked to a vendor selling antiquities. "Hello there, miss!" He called out almost immediately. "Can I help you?"
"Just looking," she replied absently. Something shiny caught her eye. She looked at it. It was a necklace. Obviously landen, she thought as she surveyed the angel hanging from it. "Ah yes. Beautiful necklace. The landen who sold it to me said it was a 'guardian angel.' That it would always watch over the wearer," the vendor said to explain its origins. "I'll take it," she said and handed over the amount he asked for.
She clasped the pendant around her neck, smiling as it rested just over her breastbone. Darkness knew she needed something to watch over her.
Stopping at another vendor, a blue sheer fabric caught her eye. She reached for it- and another hand clasped on it at the same moment. Startled she looked up into another girl's stormy gray eyes. "Um.. excuse me, but I need to buy this fabric," the girl said. She had light red hair that came just past her ears with long bangs. "Sorry," Silvara said and removed her hand. "That's okay," the girl said, "By the way, I'm Sarai."
"Silvara," she replied. "Nice to meet you," Sarai said while handing the vendor his money. "You too," Silvara said, "Hey, have you been here before?" "Yeah, once or twice," Sarai replied, smiling curiously. "Could you show me around?" she asked with a sweet smile. "Sure!" Sarai answered, her smile going 1000 watts.
Together the two walked down the bustling street with Sarai explaining everything and Silvara listening intently, while thinking about the girl's origins. She travels a lot, she thought, noticing the sturdy boots, trousers, and warm coat she wore.
"So where're you from?" Silvara asked on impulse. "Here and there," came the cryptic answer. "Oh," Silvara replied, extremely intrigued. This girl obviously had some stories to tell even though she couldn't be much older than Silvara. And when they stopped for lunch she finally got the chance to ask. After a few drinks Sarai became very open and loose tongued.
"Yeah, we live in the Circuit," Sarai said with a mouthful of potato. "What's a 'Circuit?' Who's 'we?'" Silvara asked, enthralled. "Um, well it's kinda like a family, except we're not related. We travel together, picking up and loosing people as we go. There're other Circuits out there too," Sarai said, not being very clear. "Uh huh, so who are these people in the Circuit?" She replied. "The older ones are leftovers from the purge, but the ones my age are children of the leftovers, or orphans, or runaways. After the purge with their parents or owners dead the people started travelling in groups called 'Circuits.' It's really fun," Sarai explained. "Wow, it sounds so," She paused, searching for the right word, "freeing."
"It is. Believe me," Sarai replied, "Hey, if you really wanna know what it's like come to one of our bashes. It's tomorrow night." Sarai called in a pen and scribbled an address on a napkin. "Tell 'em Sarai sent you. They'll let you right in," the girl said with a smile. "Alright," Silvara replied while vanishing the napkin.
The two shopped a bit longer, then parted ways. Sarai, to return to the Circuit, and Silvara to return home.
A
rriving home Silvara noticed the calm quiet first. Normally everywhere you turn something was happening. Weird, she thought, but entered the house anyway. It was too dark and quiet. "Hello!" She called out, "Is anyone home?" Feeling a flash of panic Silvara started to open doors to room·¶ s, calling while she did so. Finally she came upon the kitchen. On the table sat a note. On it lay her father's neat handwriting.
Silvara ~
We're at the Hall. Please meet us there as soon as you read this.
Love,
Father
She cursed out loud. Not another long night at the Hall! Inwardly she groaned. Then sighed in defeat. "Might as well get going," Silvara said to herself. She started at a dead run to the Web Landing, imaging the lecture she was going to receive.
Silvara hesitated at the door, not sure how to respond when Lord Beale didn't open the door. She shook her head and pushed open the door--- and was greeted by darkness and silence. Odd, she thought. Just then light bloomed overhead.
"SURPRISE!!" was heard as the light reached its pinnacle. Surprise, indeed, Silvara thought as everyone she knew stood before her. "Um. Okay. Did you guys waste the good surprise on me?" She asked, not comprehending the situation. "No, stupid," Titian said as she came up and took Silvara's hand, "It is your birthday."
"Oh. Okay," she said slowly, surveying the room. The entire Coven was there with their husbands and children.
"C'mon," Titian said while tugging on her. Silvara followed her up the long stairway and down a maze of corridors. "You remembered," she said dazedly. "Of course we did!" Titian cried, "Did you think we'd forget?"
"Yes," she admitted truthfully. They arrived at a door, which opened with a flick of Titian's wrist. "There's the bathroom. Take a shower. I'll leave some clothes out for you," Titian ordered. Wordlessly she obeyed.
Under the hot water she wondered why they'd done this. It has mother written all over it, she thought with certainty. But still, they're all here to celebrate my birthday. Suddenly she smiled. Done washing, she got out and dried off.
Then she noticed the elegant black dress hanging on the door and the high heels beneath it. Quickly she dressed and admired the way it looked like it was made just for her. The dress was made of silk and ended just below her knees, flaring slightly. A slit started mid-thigh and went all the way down. The dress was held up by two straps, criss-crossed in the back to form a complicated network of strings. She walked out of the bathroom.
"You like?" Titian asked as she got out. "Yeah," she said quietly. "It's your gift from me, mom, and dad," Titian stated. "Thank you," she said with a shy smile. "Come here and sit down. I'm going to do your makeup," Titian ordered. Silvara sat in the indicated chair. Immediately Titian had her close her eyes.
Minutes later an entirely different person stared out from the mirror at Silvara. Silver lined her eyes, while light violet lips pursed in surprise. Her long, wavy, silver hair had been dried and brushed. In Titian's standards it barely made a difference, but to Silvara it did. "Come on, let's go downstairs," Titian said already walking out the door. She hurried to catch up. The duo walked in silence downstairs, but Silvara paused outside the door to the ballroom. "What?" Titian asked curiously. Silvara called in her Sapphire jewel pendant and ring, both in their traditional Dea al Mon setting. "Now I'm ready," she said. Titian nodded and pushed the door open.
As they walked in all went silent. "Is this a party or a wake?" Silvara said loud enough for the whole room to hear. The tension left the room as laughter rang out. Titian moved away for a moment, then returned with Daemonar and two glasses of wine. "You knew," Silvara stated while taking the offered glass, and glaring at Daemonar. "Yeah," he answered with his father's arrogant smile plastered on his face. Calmly, containing her irritation, she walked away.
It was obvious this party hadn't been planned for her benefit. Five-sixths of the people present she knew as nothing more than acquaintances. "Silvara," came the call from her left. She looked. Jaenelle stood up from her seat and walked up to her. "You don't seem to be enjoying yourself," Jaenelle said, coming to walk beside her. "I'm not," she answered bluntly with a sweet smile plastered on her face.
"I told them not to invite the whole Coven," Jaenelle said quietly. "I appreciate that. Who planned this?" Silvara asked, wanting to know who had sealed her fate. "I believe it was Titian's idea, but then your parents took over," Jaenelle replied. "Ah, now it makes perfect sense," she said with a cryptic smile. "Where's Daemon?" Silvara asked suddenly. Usually the two were inseperable. Jaenelle waved a hand to their right indicating Daemon, Lucivar, Falonar, and Saetan. Behind them she could see Titian and Daemonar dancing. "Whaddya know," she murmured quietly. Jaenelle noticed what she was staring at. "Yes, they make a cute couple. Come," Jaenelle said.
The two women in black walked to a shadowy and sparsely populated area of the room. It seemed appropriate for Silvara's mood. She had known that this was just another way for Gabrielle to torture her. Suddenly she asked, "What'd I do to make her hate me so much?"
"I don't know, but for what it's worth, I don't approve of the way she treats you either," Jaenelle answered with a sad undertone. "It means a lot. Thank you," she said. The two ladies stood silently, drinking, until Daemon came up to them.
"There you are," Daemon said, giving his wife a quick peck on the cheek. "And happy birthday to you," Daemon said to Silvara. "Yes, 'happy' indeed," she replied with a self-depreciating smile. Daemon whispered something in his wife's ear and the two of them walked off to the dance floor.
Now alone, Silvara truly looked at all the people there. The happy couples dancing and laughing joyously. The girls her age smiling and talking together, mostly about the boys. The boyos joking with one another, occasionally going over to the girls to flirt. Disgusting, she thought with a sneer.
"Hey," Damien said to her. She jumped, "Mother Night! Don't sneak up on me like that!" She cried while pivoting to face him. "Sorry," he said with a smile. "That's okay," she said, smiling back. His smile was infectious. "What're you doing back here being all sulky?" Damien asked. "Breathing," she replied tartly. "Wow, sounds like fun," he replied, rolling his eyes. "Yep. A regular barrel o' monkeys," Silvara answered. "C'mon," Damien said while taking her hand and yanking her forward. She was too tired to argue.
That is, until she realized where he was taking her. "Damien," she pleaded, "Damien, no." The dance floor loomed threateningly before her. "I'm a horrible dancer, Damien," she said as an excuse. He looked back with a raised brow, but ignored her. Damien continued to pull her straight into the throng of dancers. "Please," she begged, "Don't make me dance." But it was too late. They were on the floor with her hand in his and his other hand resting on her waist. Instinctively she raised her hand and rested it on his shoulder. Then they started moving together, at first on unsteady feet, then spinning faster and faster. Her surroundings become nothing more than a blur and her earlier troubles were at the back of her mind. The two danced until it was time for Silvara to go home.
*****************
Arriving at home Silvara endured a scathing lecture from her mother on her tardiness. Her father, as usual, remained silent neither attacking nor defending. A typical male reaction when forced to choose between two females.
After that she walked upstairs slowly, tears forging pathways down her high cheekbones. Silvara slowly pushed the door open to her room, and immediately slipped off the high heels. She went into the bathroom to wash up and ended up staring at her own pathetic face.
How dare you let her get to you!!
I can't help it. She's so good at making me feel like shit.
Stand up for yourself, weakling! What kind of Dea al Mon Queen are you?!?
The weak kind who can't stand up for herself.
Stop pretending. Be what you really are.
What I really am. Heh. What a joke.
She could feel herself fracturing, one side lying belly-up, the other half with icy rage filling her.
Joke? This is no joke, Sister. It is you who is a joke. Letting other beings control you. You are pathetic.
I know. She always tells me that. You need a new insult.
A new insult? I think I could find one. How about stupid? Or maybe blind? You let them walk all over you!
How so?
Time and time again they hurt you, and time and time again you forgive them. Say it will be better tomorrow. Only it never is. That is true weakness.
T
he rage within her finally reached its pinnacle and exploded. Silvara grabbed the little shelf holding her toiletries and ripped it off the wall bringing with it a chunk of plaster. She held it high above her head and with a loud cry, smashed it into the mirror. That made the voices shut up and meld back into one. Slivers of glass had flown into her hair·¶ and cut her arms and face. She ignored them.
Walking back into her room she stripped and pulled on a nightshirt. Then she fell into bed, weary from the battle within her own mind.
Meanwhile Jaenelle and Daemon were also getting ready for bed. "So what were you and Silvara talking about earlier?" Daemon asked in a neutral tone. "Mistreatment," Jaenelle answered, suddenly sad. "You know, she reminds me of myself," Jaenelle started, "When I was in Terreille. She wears a mask all the time, but inside she's in such pain."
"I know. I've seen," Daemon replied. "You know, last week when I was visiting Tersa she said that the Fates were coming for Silvara, and the future would depend on her own decision," Jaenelle said while pulling back the covers. "What's that mean?" Daemon asked, confused, while crawling into bed. "I don't know," Jaenelle answered as she drifted off into sleep.
AN: Hola. What did you think? See it was a little less depressing. I had fun writing the whole split personalities part. Anyway, R & R! More reviews = faster updates.