Disclaimer: We own Ranma 1/2! This is a hostile takeover we wi-::Speech is
interrupted by sirens wailing:: Come out with your hand up! This the RTP!
A-Chan: Who?
RTP: THE RUMIKO TAKAHASHI POLICE!!! Our leader warned us about you!
A-Chan: Who's your leader?
RTP: Who do you think?
A-chan: er... Jackie Chan?
RTP: Why do we go after idiots like these?
A-Chan: Momma always told me Stupid is as Stupid does. (Represent Forrest
Gump!)
RTP: Now what do we say?
A-Chan: Crime doesn't pay?
RTP: No the other thing.
A-Chan: *crying* I don't own Ranma1/2 or the music
Ranma's Last Day: Chapter 5
When... the door slammed open knocking the crap out of the poor gothic victim on the floor revealing a pissed off Shampoo standing in the doorway eyes flaming. She storms into the room trampling the poor boy on the floor. (A/N: If he's still alive there really is a God!)
Jamie gets over the intercom to call for help for the bleeding cripple.
"Paging....*snicker*....paging Dr..........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
She breaks out into righteous laughter speaking in between each outburst of mirth. (A/N: Oh yeah!! I'm smart! And yes I did use the synonyms button. Don't hate!)
Suddenly Jamie's vision zooms in on the boy's blood seeping into her carpet.
'Fool done messed up now!
Jamie is appears by the boy's side in the blink of an eye. (A/N: Super Jamie! Faster than a speeding car in a drive-by, more powerful than a pint of Crowne Royal, able to leap ten skyscrapers in a single bound.)
"Boy! You done messed up now! Gonna go and put blood on my carpet knowing we don't have a sprinkler system in here!" Everyone starts to look around uneasily at all the fires springing up seemingly out of nowhere. (A/N: I know last chapter I said violence wasn't the answer, but.....well I lied. Let's leave it at that.)
Jamie starts freaking out and kicking the boy repeatedly where it hurts (A/N: I won't say where come on use that part of your brain that your mom doesn't want you to use. Good now don't we feel better about ourselves.)
"Hey girl! Chill out! No need to go there!"
Alyssa pulls out her "magic" stick and starts hitting Jamie over the head repeatedly. (A/N: We don't want all the lemon readers to leave.)
Alyssa: "I've got the magic stick, I'll hit you once,: bam::, I'll hit you twice, ::bam::, and I'll show you magic...
Akane & Ranma: Wha...Wha
Alyssa: Ma-a-gic
Jamie: Uh-huh, uh-huh
Alyssa: I've got the magic stick.
(We will return to your regularly scheduled program soon but right now we bring you the gothic legion of doom)
(Gothic Legion of Doom)
The board of gothic: Herre, Herre
Big-Broomstick: "Now members I got some interesting news to bring to the coven. Now this girl here, she ain't got a cauldron."
All: Wha?!
BB: She don't dye her hair black...it's natural.
All: Wha?!
BB: Why should we let you in the gothic legion of doom?
Alyssa: Whoever said progress was a slow process wasn't talkin' bout me I'm a gothic C-H-I-C, plus I got the magic stick. ::Angels sing::
(A/N: We edited for context. In laments terms we don't wanna get sued.)
(Now back to your regularly scheduled programming to the Passions of Ranma and Akane As the World Turns in The Days of our Lives.)
Jamie: "But mommy I don't wanna go to school today I want to stay home and bake cookies with you."
Alyssa: *slap*
Jamie: Thanks I needed that, now where are my cookies?
Delivery boy shows up at the front of club.
Delivery boy: Delivery for Jamie Vega!!
Jamie: MY COOKIES! ( Thank you MOMMY! ::Starts munching on cookies::
Alyssa: I want some! Grabs cookie
Everyone in Club Ambrosia even the decrepit boy are munching on cookies. Jamie is left holding one after passing them out. (
Ranma: Wait I didn't get a cookie!
Jamie: Liar you have crumbs down your front! As a matter of fact you had 3!
(A/N: Where was I going with this again? Oh Yeah! Now back to Ranma and Akane!)
Ranma: Hey isn't that the boy who got knocked out by Alyssa, Jamie, and the door earlier?
Akane: *munching on cookie* Yeah Ranma that's about right.
Akane glances over at Jamie who's having a fit because Alyssa has just stolen her last cookie.
Akane: Shouldn't you be calling Dr. Tofu about now?
Jamie: But she stole my cookie!! Ahhh...well I take this boy's instead.
Jamie leans over and takes the cookie from the twisted fingers of the gothic boy.
Boy: Why! Why!
Akane: I really think you should go Dr. Tofu now.
Jamie: Fine!
Jamie throws the cookie towards the boy, as his face turns brighter the cookie burns into fiery ash under Alyssa's harsh glare.
Boy: Not my cookie! ::breaks down into heart wrenching sobs::
(A/N: I really need to stop this and center it back around the main characters of the Ranma-verse. Besides, You guys gotta be happy you're getting two chapters in one!)
Dr. Tofu walks in aided by a stranger.
Akane: Dr. Tofu what took you so long to get here?
Stranger: I showed him the way to club after he passed Kasumi on the street. Poor man.
Dr. Tofu:*sheepishly rubbing the back of his head* Uhhh.. Hi Akane where's the patient?
Akane: *sweatdropping* You're standing on him.
Dr.Tofu What?!
Dr. Tofu is looking over the poor boy when the question of the day is implored onto the boy.
Dr. Tofu: I'm sorry...What's your name son?
Boy: Gosunkugi... Hikaru Gosunkugi! (A/N: I bet you weren't expecting Gosunkugi now were you? Huh? Huh? No you WEREN'T! No you WEREN'T!)
Akane and Ranma watch as Dr.Tofu examines his patient and puts several joints back into place.
Akane: I'm sure glad Kasumi isn't here for Gosunkugi's sake.
Kasumi suddenly pops out of nowhere in-between Ranma and Akane.
Kasumi: Did someone call my name?
Ranma & Akane: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Akane: *sweat dropping* Sis What are you doing here?!
Kasumi: Oh...no reason. Just came to check up on you Akane. How are you and Ranma doing? Are you two getting along?
Akane glances shyly at Ranma blushing lightly and Ranma nervously smiles back at her.
Akane: *still looking at Ranma* Yeah we haven't had a fight all day. *coming back to her senses* Kasumi! You really have to get going I bought you a ticket to a chef's convention in Osaka.
Akane starts pushing Kasumi out the door despite her protests.
Kasumi: Akane...but what about dinner?!
Akane: Don't worry about us Kasumi...we'll make it without you.
Akane pushes Kasumi onto a bus that has magically appeared in front of the club. (A/N: Courtesy of A-Chan bus service " If we don't get you there fast we don't get you there at all."
Akane: 'One down'
As this is transpiring Nabiki comes strolling down the sidewalk licking her ice cream cone.
Nabiki: His sis what's up.
The bus pulls away and another bus follows. Akane forces her onto the other magic bus, shoving a ticket into her hand.
Nabiki: What the hell are you doing Akane!
Akane: I'm giving my dear older sister a vacation, This bus will take you to the airport so you can go to the photography convention in New York.
Nabiki: But... Before she could finish her sentence the bus' doors closed.
Akane: *chuckles evilly* Now for the fathers.
Soun and Genma are running by the Karaoke club when yet another bus appears and they hop on closely followed by Happosai.
Happosai: How dare you try to poison your master?!
Akane: ' Well that was easier than I thought it would be. Thanx A-Chan!'
Akane flashes a thumbs up to the sky.
A-Chan: No prob 'Kane!
Akane: 'Now no interruptions tonight! We'll be all alone!"
A finger suddenly taps Akane on her shoulder. Akane turns around smiling expecting to see Ranma. Alas, She comes face to face with Shampoo.
Akane: *glaring* What do you want Shampoo?!
Shampoo: What were you doing dancing with Airen?! (A/N: Her Japanese gets better when she's seriously pissed.)
Akane: Like you said I was dancing with him. You got a problem with that?
Shampoo: Maybe Shampoo do!
Akane: Only one way to settle this...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shampoo and Kane stood on the stage while Ranma sat in the front row of the audience forcing a smile.
Akane and Shampoo had decided on a battle of the voices. They had decided on a song that was a mystery to everyone, but Alyssa. Ranma looked up at Akane perplexed as she stood in her gown.
Ranma:' What is this all about. Akane is in a dress of her own free will. She looks so beautiful up there...No! Bad thought! KawaiiKune! Remember un- cute!
Still Ranma kept his eyes fixated on Akane. Unable to tear his eyes away, when the music started, (A/N: In the upcoming song Akane will be singing Brandy's part while shampoo is Monica. All songs up to this point have been sung in Japanese, but to keep Ranma guessing this song will be in English.)
[Akane] - Excuse me can I please talk to you for a minute?
[Shampoo] - Um hum sure. You look kind of familiar.
[A] - Yeah you do too but umm I just wanted to know do you know somebody named
you you know his name.
[S] - Oh yeah de..fin..itely I know his name.
[A] - I just wanted to let you know he's mine.
[S] - Huh..no no he is mine.
[Chorus] - You need to give it up
Had about enough
It's not hard to see
The boy is mine
I'm sorry that you
Seem to be confused
He belongs to me
The boy is mine
[A] - I think it's time we got this straight
Let's sit and talk face to face
There is no way you could mistake
Him for your man - are you insane
[S] - You see I know that violent girl may be
Just a bit jealous of Shampoo
But you're blind if you can't see
That his love is Shampoo
[A] - You see I tried to hesitate
I didn't wanna say what he told me
He said without me he couldn't make
It through the day ain't that a shame
(Ranma sits perplexed to what either of them may be seeing, but somehow he is blushing)
[S] - Maybe you misunderstand
Cause I can not see how Airen could
Wanna change some...thing that's so good
Because my love is all it take
[Chorus]
[A] - I think that you should realize
And try to understand why
He is a part of my life
I know it's killing you inside
(Here Akane hit a high note that breaks all the windows in the club and makes Shampoo Prat fall)
Shampoo: OKAY! Shampoo come back when she learn better English!
Akane: Ta-Ta Shampoo! Come Ranma we have stuff to do at home...
Ranma looked at her with a questioning look that soon turned to one of nervousness when he saw a glint in her eye.
(Author's Note: Okay! So how did you like my double chapter just because I took so long! Sorry about that again. I'm still flooded with homework actually. Originally this entire fic was supposed to be a practical joke on one of my best friends Izay Alohalani, but I was supposed to finish it and reveal it before school started,but it didn't work out. I told her I'd tell her on the first day of school and I did. BTW You guys should read her Inuyasha fics she's awesome. She just can't be funny when she writes. Like me but hers are seriously good in a serious way. LOL. So I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. NE? Also, Izay if you're gonna review don't mess with me. You know I'll flame you to my hearts content. LOL. Okay homies peace out until next time. Remember next chapter musical goodness by:___________. I don't even know yet. Well actually I do I just enjoy messin with you! Thank you guys again for all you support. Especially to Cherri Ookami who's reviewed every time! And RanmaFreak1 with her semi- flames. I swear they're gonna drive me up a wall. I like flames as long as they're straight forward. Then I know you care. Anyway C U!)
Ranma's Last Day: Chapter 5
When... the door slammed open knocking the crap out of the poor gothic victim on the floor revealing a pissed off Shampoo standing in the doorway eyes flaming. She storms into the room trampling the poor boy on the floor. (A/N: If he's still alive there really is a God!)
Jamie gets over the intercom to call for help for the bleeding cripple.
"Paging....*snicker*....paging Dr..........HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
She breaks out into righteous laughter speaking in between each outburst of mirth. (A/N: Oh yeah!! I'm smart! And yes I did use the synonyms button. Don't hate!)
Suddenly Jamie's vision zooms in on the boy's blood seeping into her carpet.
'Fool done messed up now!
Jamie is appears by the boy's side in the blink of an eye. (A/N: Super Jamie! Faster than a speeding car in a drive-by, more powerful than a pint of Crowne Royal, able to leap ten skyscrapers in a single bound.)
"Boy! You done messed up now! Gonna go and put blood on my carpet knowing we don't have a sprinkler system in here!" Everyone starts to look around uneasily at all the fires springing up seemingly out of nowhere. (A/N: I know last chapter I said violence wasn't the answer, but.....well I lied. Let's leave it at that.)
Jamie starts freaking out and kicking the boy repeatedly where it hurts (A/N: I won't say where come on use that part of your brain that your mom doesn't want you to use. Good now don't we feel better about ourselves.)
"Hey girl! Chill out! No need to go there!"
Alyssa pulls out her "magic" stick and starts hitting Jamie over the head repeatedly. (A/N: We don't want all the lemon readers to leave.)
Alyssa: "I've got the magic stick, I'll hit you once,: bam::, I'll hit you twice, ::bam::, and I'll show you magic...
Akane & Ranma: Wha...Wha
Alyssa: Ma-a-gic
Jamie: Uh-huh, uh-huh
Alyssa: I've got the magic stick.
(We will return to your regularly scheduled program soon but right now we bring you the gothic legion of doom)
(Gothic Legion of Doom)
The board of gothic: Herre, Herre
Big-Broomstick: "Now members I got some interesting news to bring to the coven. Now this girl here, she ain't got a cauldron."
All: Wha?!
BB: She don't dye her hair black...it's natural.
All: Wha?!
BB: Why should we let you in the gothic legion of doom?
Alyssa: Whoever said progress was a slow process wasn't talkin' bout me I'm a gothic C-H-I-C, plus I got the magic stick. ::Angels sing::
(A/N: We edited for context. In laments terms we don't wanna get sued.)
(Now back to your regularly scheduled programming to the Passions of Ranma and Akane As the World Turns in The Days of our Lives.)
Jamie: "But mommy I don't wanna go to school today I want to stay home and bake cookies with you."
Alyssa: *slap*
Jamie: Thanks I needed that, now where are my cookies?
Delivery boy shows up at the front of club.
Delivery boy: Delivery for Jamie Vega!!
Jamie: MY COOKIES! ( Thank you MOMMY! ::Starts munching on cookies::
Alyssa: I want some! Grabs cookie
Everyone in Club Ambrosia even the decrepit boy are munching on cookies. Jamie is left holding one after passing them out. (
Ranma: Wait I didn't get a cookie!
Jamie: Liar you have crumbs down your front! As a matter of fact you had 3!
(A/N: Where was I going with this again? Oh Yeah! Now back to Ranma and Akane!)
Ranma: Hey isn't that the boy who got knocked out by Alyssa, Jamie, and the door earlier?
Akane: *munching on cookie* Yeah Ranma that's about right.
Akane glances over at Jamie who's having a fit because Alyssa has just stolen her last cookie.
Akane: Shouldn't you be calling Dr. Tofu about now?
Jamie: But she stole my cookie!! Ahhh...well I take this boy's instead.
Jamie leans over and takes the cookie from the twisted fingers of the gothic boy.
Boy: Why! Why!
Akane: I really think you should go Dr. Tofu now.
Jamie: Fine!
Jamie throws the cookie towards the boy, as his face turns brighter the cookie burns into fiery ash under Alyssa's harsh glare.
Boy: Not my cookie! ::breaks down into heart wrenching sobs::
(A/N: I really need to stop this and center it back around the main characters of the Ranma-verse. Besides, You guys gotta be happy you're getting two chapters in one!)
Dr. Tofu walks in aided by a stranger.
Akane: Dr. Tofu what took you so long to get here?
Stranger: I showed him the way to club after he passed Kasumi on the street. Poor man.
Dr. Tofu:*sheepishly rubbing the back of his head* Uhhh.. Hi Akane where's the patient?
Akane: *sweatdropping* You're standing on him.
Dr.Tofu What?!
Dr. Tofu is looking over the poor boy when the question of the day is implored onto the boy.
Dr. Tofu: I'm sorry...What's your name son?
Boy: Gosunkugi... Hikaru Gosunkugi! (A/N: I bet you weren't expecting Gosunkugi now were you? Huh? Huh? No you WEREN'T! No you WEREN'T!)
Akane and Ranma watch as Dr.Tofu examines his patient and puts several joints back into place.
Akane: I'm sure glad Kasumi isn't here for Gosunkugi's sake.
Kasumi suddenly pops out of nowhere in-between Ranma and Akane.
Kasumi: Did someone call my name?
Ranma & Akane: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Akane: *sweat dropping* Sis What are you doing here?!
Kasumi: Oh...no reason. Just came to check up on you Akane. How are you and Ranma doing? Are you two getting along?
Akane glances shyly at Ranma blushing lightly and Ranma nervously smiles back at her.
Akane: *still looking at Ranma* Yeah we haven't had a fight all day. *coming back to her senses* Kasumi! You really have to get going I bought you a ticket to a chef's convention in Osaka.
Akane starts pushing Kasumi out the door despite her protests.
Kasumi: Akane...but what about dinner?!
Akane: Don't worry about us Kasumi...we'll make it without you.
Akane pushes Kasumi onto a bus that has magically appeared in front of the club. (A/N: Courtesy of A-Chan bus service " If we don't get you there fast we don't get you there at all."
Akane: 'One down'
As this is transpiring Nabiki comes strolling down the sidewalk licking her ice cream cone.
Nabiki: His sis what's up.
The bus pulls away and another bus follows. Akane forces her onto the other magic bus, shoving a ticket into her hand.
Nabiki: What the hell are you doing Akane!
Akane: I'm giving my dear older sister a vacation, This bus will take you to the airport so you can go to the photography convention in New York.
Nabiki: But... Before she could finish her sentence the bus' doors closed.
Akane: *chuckles evilly* Now for the fathers.
Soun and Genma are running by the Karaoke club when yet another bus appears and they hop on closely followed by Happosai.
Happosai: How dare you try to poison your master?!
Akane: ' Well that was easier than I thought it would be. Thanx A-Chan!'
Akane flashes a thumbs up to the sky.
A-Chan: No prob 'Kane!
Akane: 'Now no interruptions tonight! We'll be all alone!"
A finger suddenly taps Akane on her shoulder. Akane turns around smiling expecting to see Ranma. Alas, She comes face to face with Shampoo.
Akane: *glaring* What do you want Shampoo?!
Shampoo: What were you doing dancing with Airen?! (A/N: Her Japanese gets better when she's seriously pissed.)
Akane: Like you said I was dancing with him. You got a problem with that?
Shampoo: Maybe Shampoo do!
Akane: Only one way to settle this...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Shampoo and Kane stood on the stage while Ranma sat in the front row of the audience forcing a smile.
Akane and Shampoo had decided on a battle of the voices. They had decided on a song that was a mystery to everyone, but Alyssa. Ranma looked up at Akane perplexed as she stood in her gown.
Ranma:' What is this all about. Akane is in a dress of her own free will. She looks so beautiful up there...No! Bad thought! KawaiiKune! Remember un- cute!
Still Ranma kept his eyes fixated on Akane. Unable to tear his eyes away, when the music started, (A/N: In the upcoming song Akane will be singing Brandy's part while shampoo is Monica. All songs up to this point have been sung in Japanese, but to keep Ranma guessing this song will be in English.)
[Akane] - Excuse me can I please talk to you for a minute?
[Shampoo] - Um hum sure. You look kind of familiar.
[A] - Yeah you do too but umm I just wanted to know do you know somebody named
you you know his name.
[S] - Oh yeah de..fin..itely I know his name.
[A] - I just wanted to let you know he's mine.
[S] - Huh..no no he is mine.
[Chorus] - You need to give it up
Had about enough
It's not hard to see
The boy is mine
I'm sorry that you
Seem to be confused
He belongs to me
The boy is mine
[A] - I think it's time we got this straight
Let's sit and talk face to face
There is no way you could mistake
Him for your man - are you insane
[S] - You see I know that violent girl may be
Just a bit jealous of Shampoo
But you're blind if you can't see
That his love is Shampoo
[A] - You see I tried to hesitate
I didn't wanna say what he told me
He said without me he couldn't make
It through the day ain't that a shame
(Ranma sits perplexed to what either of them may be seeing, but somehow he is blushing)
[S] - Maybe you misunderstand
Cause I can not see how Airen could
Wanna change some...thing that's so good
Because my love is all it take
[Chorus]
[A] - I think that you should realize
And try to understand why
He is a part of my life
I know it's killing you inside
(Here Akane hit a high note that breaks all the windows in the club and makes Shampoo Prat fall)
Shampoo: OKAY! Shampoo come back when she learn better English!
Akane: Ta-Ta Shampoo! Come Ranma we have stuff to do at home...
Ranma looked at her with a questioning look that soon turned to one of nervousness when he saw a glint in her eye.
(Author's Note: Okay! So how did you like my double chapter just because I took so long! Sorry about that again. I'm still flooded with homework actually. Originally this entire fic was supposed to be a practical joke on one of my best friends Izay Alohalani, but I was supposed to finish it and reveal it before school started,but it didn't work out. I told her I'd tell her on the first day of school and I did. BTW You guys should read her Inuyasha fics she's awesome. She just can't be funny when she writes. Like me but hers are seriously good in a serious way. LOL. So I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. NE? Also, Izay if you're gonna review don't mess with me. You know I'll flame you to my hearts content. LOL. Okay homies peace out until next time. Remember next chapter musical goodness by:___________. I don't even know yet. Well actually I do I just enjoy messin with you! Thank you guys again for all you support. Especially to Cherri Ookami who's reviewed every time! And RanmaFreak1 with her semi- flames. I swear they're gonna drive me up a wall. I like flames as long as they're straight forward. Then I know you care. Anyway C U!)