Joyous Noel
Disclaimer: I don't own FAKE and I don't own Christmas. But I did manage to maneuver the local mall parking lot during the holiday rush without mowing anyone down, that's something, right?
Rating: PG-13 for language and schmaltzy endings.
Pairings: Dee/Ryo and Bikky/Carol
Timeline: Post seventh manga, Dee and Ryo as an established couple, teenage Bikky
Summary: Leave it to Dee to Christmas shop at the last minute. With Bikky as his reluctant sidekick, will he be able to find Ryo anything better than a Chia Pet? Or will he and Berkeley Rose get into a smackdown outside of Macy's?
++
Bikky was watching the snow falling on the fire escape when the door creaked open. He'd been left to his own devices for a good part of the afternoon and was now more than ready to ream out whoever it was walking in the door. There'd been nothing for him to do, Lai and Lass were spending their holiday with relatives, Carol was missing in action, no parental units and nothing to eat. Needless to say, he wasn't very happy.
"I'm home!" the voice of Dee Laytner echoed off the clean off-white walls. "Ryo?"
"He's gone out," Bikky replied, crossing to the front door where the second of two father figures was brushing the snow from his coat. "What took you so long?"
Dee grinned. "Went to visit Penguin and her latest brood of brats. Any idea where Ryo might've gone?"
"My guess would be Christmas shopping. There are only three shopping days left, and the pile of wrapped stuff in his closet is mighty small," the teenager reported.
The dark-haired detective frowned at him. "Hey, weren't you told not to go peeking?"
"It's not like I unwrapped the stuff. Just looked in to see how much there was. Give me a break, old man."
"Don't you be 'old man'-ing me, you little punk. Get your shoes and coat, Bikky, and make sure you have gloves. It's fucking freezing out there," Dee ordered, gesturing towards the door he'd just entered. The blue-eyed boy stared at him with suspicion.
"Why?"
"Because. I've got to go get Ryo his Christmas present and you're going to help me."
Bikky darted into his room and grabbed a pair of scuffed combat boots, pulled a thick parka from a closet, and sat down in front of the doormat to put them on.
"Ryo said he didn't want anything for Christmas, y'know," he stated, tightening the frayed yellow laces of his boots.
"Yeah, and Ryo also said he wasn't gay. Look how far that got him."
The boy frowned, shrugging on the coat. "I don't know, Dee. You know how touchy Ryo gets this time of year. I just hope this doesn't piss him off."
"Relax, I'll take all the shit. I do anyways, don't I?"
Bikky nodded reluctantly, following Dee out the door. While he still wasn't fond of the brunette cop who'd been courting his guardian for a good few years now, he'd learned to put up with the man. Dee, despite his obvious perversions and obnoxious behavior, made Ryo happy, and that was enough for Bikky.
"Fine…but if you make him cry again, Dee, I'm kicking your ass, got it?"
++
The malls were disgustingly crowded, as was expected, by everyone who'd been foolish enough to wait until the very last minute to buy their Christmas presents. This included Dee and Bikky, the latter under strict instructions to 'stick close.' The holiday music being filtered in through the loudspeakers was drowned out by the din of overstressed shoppers yelling at their children or fighting with store clerks over the sudden extinction of Hokey Pokey Elmo. Bikky glanced up at Dee, whose expression was locked in a sort of determined snarl, the fierce game-face of a desperate man who needed to find the Perfect Gift with capital letters, and fast.
"Hey, do we have any idea what Ryo even wants, other than his usual nothing?"
"Nope," Dee replied. "Didn't even grab a pair of his pants to check sizes. Real smart of me, eh? We're flying blind, Bikky."
Bikky rolled his eyes. "Ryo wears a thirty waist, thirty-two long. Size medium shirt."
"What the…how'd you know?"
"He gave me twenty bucks to pick up his dry cleaning the other day. I just happened to remember what sizes they were. But you're not getting him clothes, are you? That's a lame gift if I ever heard one. What kind of jerk guy gets his boyfriend clothes for Christmas?"
"A desperate jerk guy. And you're right, clothes suck. I hated it when Penguin whipped out the Christmas sweaters for all of us. I don't know. Ryo doesn't tell me anything. I've even asked him a couple of times and he just brushed me off. Man, if we don't find anything, we're gonna be in some deep shit, Bikky."
He raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me? Who's going to be in deep shit? I'm already done shopping."
"What?!"
"Uh-huh. Carol and me went right after Thanksgiving and did all of our shopping together," the blonde boy said matter-of-factly.
Dee grabbed him by the collar of his jacket and hoisted him several inches off the ground. "What'd you get Ryo?!"
"Like I'm gonna tell you."
He dropped the kid and started to storm off, fingers itching to reach for a cigarette. But the fact that the mall was a smoke-free establishment coupled with the fact that he'd just smoked the last one in the pack about an hour ago forced him to keep his hands stuffed in his pockets.
"Aw, come on, Dee, wait up!" Bikky shouted, scrambling to keep up. "Jesus, you big baby, I bought him a new bottle of cologne. Happy?"
"No, that was my next idea. Shit, if I don't find something in the next hour, I'll be stuck buying him a Reader's Digest and a bag of leftover Halloween candy."
Bikky gave him a thoughtful look. "You could just ask Ryo. He's standing right there."
"WHAT?!"
The teenager pointed towards a potted plant in the center of the walkway, against which a sandy-haired man was standing, holding a cell phone to his ear and weighted down by an armload of shopping bags. A redheaded girl was standing next to him, contentedly munching a pretzel. She swallowed, blinked, and then waved at the pair still gawking at them.
"Uh-oh, Carol's spotted us. You're in trouble now," Bikky announced.
Carol tugged on Ryo's sleeve and pointed to where Dee and Bikky were standing. He flipped the phone closed and strolled over, smiling warmly.
"Well, what've we here?" he asked casually, leaning over and kissing his lover on the cheek. "Hi there, Dee. How were things at the orphanage?"
He grinned, masking the unease of being caught. "Eh, good enough. Kids still raising hell as usual. Penguin asked about you, sends her love, all that. What are you and the little princess up to?"
"Oh, you know, just some last minute shopping. I thought I'd pick up a few more things and asked Carol to accompany me. Well, I'll see you at home, all right?"
Dee grabbed his scarf and pulled him in for a kiss. "Later, babe. Don't blow all your money."
"Because I have better things to be blowing, correct?" Ryo replied wryly.
"Damn straight."
Carol winked. "Bye Bikky. Have fun."
"Fun? With the pervert? You've got to be kidding me," he answered with an eye roll.
They wandered off, Carol laughing at something, leaving Dee and Bikky to stare and sigh.
"I'm so screwed."
"Yup. You moron, you didn't even ask him what he wanted for Christmas."
Dee let out a choked gasp, glancing at the teenager, then at the retreating form of his lover, already disappearing in the crowds. He swore, tearing down the tiled floor after them.
"Ryo!"
The blonde man paused, glancing back over his shoulder, dark eyes spearing Dee with inquiry.
"What do you want for Christmas, babe?"
He smiled, shaking his head. "Nothing!"
"Aw, come on, you can't give me that for an answer! I'm serious, Ryo!"
"And so am I! I don't want anything, Dee!" he replied, walking off at a brisk pace, Carol and their shopping bags in tow. Dee's shoulders slumped as Bikky jogged up beside him, the boy's expression one of amusement and confusion.
"So…what do we do now?"
++
They sat down on a bench outside of a Baskin Robbins', Bikky happily slurping an ice cream cone. Dee bore the dejected expression of a man at the end of his rope. It had been fifteen minutes since Ryo announced that he wanted absolutely nothing for Christmas, and that same fifteen minutes since Dee doggedly decided that he would not hold to his lover's request.
"So you got him the cologne…what'd Carol get him?"
Bikky slurped up a chocolate chip. "A sweater and a turtleneck to go under it."
"I thought we decided clothes were a shitty gift," Dee pointed out.
"They are when your boyfriend gives 'em to ya. It's all right when your kid buys you clothes because it means they care enough to spend fifty bucks on a shirt and a sweater that they hope you like because that was their last fifty bucks."
"Great, so you two twerps have cornered the market on potential gift ideas. Now what am I supposed to do, huh?"
Bikky shook his head, licking up a stray droplet of ice cream. "What about a watch?"
"Got him one for his birthday."
"He reads a lot, doesn't he? Go buy him a book, a nice thick one I can use to hit you over the head with because you're whining more than Carol with PMS."
Dee groaned. "You don't just buy somebody a book, kid. I wouldn't know if he's read it or not, or if he'd even want to read it, y'know?"
Dee stared up at the ceiling blankly, trying desperately to think of something but nothing sprang to mind. If it was anything of Ryo's interest, he'd already gotten it for his birthday, for their anniversary, for no reason at all. He wondered if things could possibly worsen, or if lightning could just shoot down from the sky and strike him right where he sat.
"Seasons greetings, Dee-sempai!" a chipper voice called out. Both the man and his teenage accomplice groaned and slumped down in their seats, but to their chagrin, JJ waltzed over anyways. The silver-haired sharpshooter was dressed like a very small aluminum Christmas tree, in a very loud holiday themed sweater that blinked with small electric lights.
"Jeez, does every cop in New York have today off?" Bikky muttered.
Dee shook his head. "We worked the early shifts. What's up, JJ?"
Truth be told, JJ's obnoxiousness had lessened over the years, since he had finally accepted the fact that Dee was spoken for and Ryo would sooner lick a frozen flagpole than give him up. However, JJ, like so many others before him, would never really get over his first love.
"Nothing," he trilled, rocking on his heels. "Just doing a little shopping. All of my family's coming over for Christmas and I forgot a few cousins. What's going on with you?"
"I'm either going to kill myself or Ryo."
JJ clucked his tongue. "Oh dear, did he pull that 'I don't want anything for Christmas but if you don't get me something I'll hate you forever' bit? My younger sister does that all the time. They do so love to give us grief, don't they?"
"I have no idea what to get the man, he leaves me no hints, nothing whatsoever, and I've about had it. I don't do well with this kind of pressure, JJ," Dee groused.
"Relax, darling! I'll let you in on a little secret. I overheard Ryo talking to Drake last Thursday, and I do believe he said something about looking for a new leather jacket. Or maybe it was a waffle iron. No, no, Marty wanted the waffle iron. Well, anyway, I'm sure whatever you decide on, Ryo will like it. I wouldn't worry too much, Dee. After all, when it all boils down, it's not about the gifts at all, is it?"
"Thanks JJ. If I don't see you at work, have a good one, all right?"
He grinned. "You too, Dee. And merry Christmas to you too, Bikky, hope you've been a good boy."
"Nope, but thanks for hoping!" the teenager said with a broad smile.
Dee sighed and got up. "Come on, Bikky, let's go."
"Where to?"
"Macy's, I guess. I thought I saw something about leather jackets on sale in the paper."
Bikky nodded. "Better hope they're not sold out."
"Don't even think that."
++
Dee slammed his palms down on the counter, making the sales representative jump. His face twisted into a snarl as he leaned far forward, throwing himself into the clerk's sphere of personal space.
"What do you mean there are no more jackets?" he growled, green eyes flashing with a feral flame.
The balding little man trembled. "There are no more, Sir. We've cleaned out the storerooms, down to the last coat. All we have are all that are on the racks. The next shipment isn't due for another five days at least."
Bikky ambled around the picked-over racks. There were maybe three or four leather jackets left, crumpled and forlorn-looking. Not one of them would've fit Ryo's slender frame by a long shot.
"You do realize you've just ruined Christmas for me, right?" Dee continued.
"Hey, Incredible Hulk," Bikky called. "Isn't that the smarmy commissioner jerk you hate standing over there? I think he's laughing at you."
Dee whipped around to see Berkeley Rose standing next to a mannequin, shoulders shaking with laughter. The dark-haired detective stormed over, leaving the clerk to pass out behind his counter. Bikky followed closely behind, scenting blood on the air. Dee was set for murder.
"You laughing at me, Rose? I don't see any reason why. My Christmas is all but ruined."
The blonde inspector smiled venomously. "Perhaps yours is ruined, and that's no fault but your own, you pathetic, sniveling slug, but mine is going to be the best yet. Especially after Ryo leaves you for me."
"What?" Dee snapped, face scarlet and fists clenched.
Rose's smile seemed to broaden. "I ran into Detective Adams, and it came up through conversation that you were having a difficult time finding Ryo a Christmas present. He said he sent you to find him a leather jacket. Well, Mr. Laytner, I have in my possession such an item, sized exactly for that gorgeous body."
"What does that have to do with Ryo leaving me, you sick bastard?"
"I'd be willing to give you this if you gave him up to me, save your Christmas. Or, if you refuse, your holiday will be miserable, he'll hate you, and my arms will be open to accept him when he runs from you. Merry Christmas, Dee. I'll see you after the holiday break."
Rose sauntered out of the Macy's, but his subordinate refused to leave well enough alone. Dee sprinted after him, fury burning in his eyes. Bikky groaned, chasing after him.
"ROSE!"
The man turned just in time to see a fist coming at his face. He dodged, but Dee still managed to bruise his cheek rather than break his nose. He rubbed the mark, watching as Ryo's son restrained the irate brunette.
"Don't you dare, Rose! Don't you fucking dare! If you think blackmailing me is going to make me back down, you're dead wrong. You don't intimidate me, Berkeley Rose. Not here, not away from the force, where we're equal among men, you have no power here. Ryo has chosen me, I thought we were agreed on that. I thought you said you were backing off and letting well enough alone, you told me that a year and a half ago. Leave me and my family alone."
Bikky added a one-fingered salute, taking Dee's arm and leading him away.
"Come on, Dee. We should get home, Ryo's going to be mad if we miss dinner," he said quietly.
He nodded slowly. "Right. He's making chicken cacciatore tonight."
"Chia Pets are always available, we can get Ryo one of those."
"I'm not getting him a Chia Pet, Bikky. That's worse than giving him absolutely nothing."
The boy shrugged. "How about we get him one of those George Foreman grill things?"
"No, Bikky."
Berkeley Rose scowled. He hadn't moved from where he stood, merely watching as his perpetual rival retreated with no less dignity than he had shown moments before. Oh, he'd conceded to Dee all right, but that didn't mean he'd given up the fight. He would forever remain bitter over such a quarrel. Men like Ryo MacLean were rare, a prize that any man should be honored to win. To have such an honor stolen by someone he considered to be lower in status than he himself was degrading. Dee would have his, all right. Just not this time.
"You should probably put some ice on that, it's starting to swell," JJ's voice barely registered to his ears.
"Hmph."
The silver-haired detective pursed his lips. "I don't know why you bother, Berk. Picking fights with Dee is a complete waste of time; it only proves that he's committed to Ryo. And on the flip side, Ryo is devoted to Dee wholeheartedly. Trying to come between them is like trying to steal Christmas. It isn't done, and when it is done, it's in poor taste."
"You think I should give in to him?" he spat.
"This is one battle neither of us are ever going to win. Sulk and fume if you must, but it's time the white flag at Fort Rose is raised. Merry Christmas, Commissioner, I hope you find some happiness."
++
Bikky glanced up at Dee as they headed back across the mall to the entrance closest to their car. He'd calmed down since their scuffle with the commissioner, but now his face bore a more sorrowful expression. He'd failed, and he felt miserable about it.
"Aw, cheer up. We still have tomorrow and Wednesday."
Dee shook his head. "It'll be too late by then. This needed to have happened tonight, Bikky. And now I've got nothing for Ryo and don't I feel like shit?"
"We've got to cut through the bookstore to get to the car. Maybe there'll be something there. Borders is usually good like that."
They walked through the sensors and into the miasma of shoppers milling about the bookstore, scurrying between the racks and trying not to trip over anyone kneeling on the ground, examining the lower shelves. It was as they passed the registers that Bikky let out a loud groan.
"Aw, shit! I just remembered something! It was right after Ryo came home from work today…you were gone visiting the orphanage. His favorite mug broke. He went to get it out of the cupboard for his afternoon tea and it fell off the shelf and smashed on the floor. You thinking what I'm thinking?"
Dee sprinted towards the café, where a display of mugs and bags of coffee beans and trivet plates stood by the drink machine. He let out a cry of triumph as he descended upon a row of coffee mugs, as well as a display of expensive imported tea.
"Bikky, you've saved my life! Kid, how the hell do I repay you for this one?"
The blonde boy thought for a moment, then grinned. "I'll think of something and get back to you."
Dee grabbed a couple of boxes, checked them, and did a quick about-face. "Let's pay for this shit and get on outta here, there's a man and some chicken who've got to be missing us right about now."
++
Dee groaned and pulled the covers over his head, burrowing further down in the blankets. The bed continued to shake despite his best efforts to hide. He could hear Ryo laughing at him and scowled.
"There's no use, Dee, you're just going to have to get up."
"Come on, we want to open our presents!" Bikky and Carol cried, still jumping on the bed.
Dee stuck his head out from under the covers, his hair sticking up in odd angles. "Aren't you two too old to be doing this? What time is it anyways?"
"Ten to seven," Ryo stated. "I'll at least go start breakfast. Come on, you guys. Dee will be up in a minute. Let him wake up first."
Carol sighed. "All right. But if he doesn't hurry up, we're starting without him, okay?"
Ryo laughed quietly as the two teenagers hustled into the living room and ogled the presents that surrounded their small plastic Christmas tree. There wasn't much, not nearly as many as he'd received when he was their age, but he knew Bikky and Carol were grateful for anything at all. Besides, he'd shelled out some serious money this year, so he hoped they were appreciative.
"Merry Christmas, Ryo," Dee murmured, wrapping his arms about his lover's waist from behind as he slunk in from the bedroom. Ryo leaned back into the embrace.
"Same to you, love. Now let me go so we can get this started, ne? We've still got a lot of cooking to do before people start coming over as well."
Dee chuckled. "Relax, babe. Go sit down on the couch, we can hold breakfast off until after the carnage. Hey, Bikky, Carol. Why don't we let Ryo open his stuff first?"
Bikky pouted. "How come?"
"Because I said so. Move over, twerps, and hand up everything that's Ryo's."
"Dee, they can open theirs first and we can do ours later, it's all right," the blonde man replied, sitting down on the couch.
He shook his head. "Nope, you go first, babe. In fact…this one's from me."
"I told you not to get me anything," Ryo sighed, accepting the box nonetheless. His fingertips rested on the paper, not moving, not tearing into the red-and-green wrapping. Dee put his arm around his lover.
"I know, but I couldn't resist."
Ryo let out a heavy sigh, carefully ripping back the paper, though with some reluctance. Bikky and Dee exchanged glances from over Carol's head as the man opened the box, an ordinary photo box they'd found at a craft store around the corner on the way home. Inside was the coffee mug, the outside patterned with Van Gogh's Starry Night, several boxes of tea, a silver pen and a blue suede-covered journal.
"Dee…" Ryo started to say, lips quivering.
"Took the liberty to write something on the inside, but you can read that later. It isn't meant for little ears, if you catch my drift," he said with a wink.
Ryo set the box down on the coffee table and fell into Dee's arm, his head sinking to one broad shoulder as warm tears spattered the other man's skin.
"Thank you, thank you so much."
Carol let out an annoyed 'tsk.' "If you think that's special, you should see what me and Bikky got you. Beats some dumb coffee mug any day."
Dee grinned saucily. "Now Carol, you haven't opened any of your presents yet. There's still time for the jolly fat man to magically change all of them into coal."
"I don't believe in Santa Claus, you dope."
"All right, all right, shut up. Ryo, open up the rest of this crap so we can open ours and eat. I'm so hungry my stomach's gonna start eating me from the inside out," Bikky demanded.
++
That night, after Bikky and Carol had gone to bed, and the leftovers had been stuffed into the refrigerator, Dee and Ryo settled down on the couch, curled up under a throw blanket. The room was dimly lit by the white lights on the Christmas tree, two mugs of cocoa steaming on the coffee table.
"Your feet are cold," Dee grumbled, shifting. It did him little good trying to move with Ryo sprawled atop him, resting his head on his chest.
He smiled sleepily. "It was a nice Christmas, wasn't it?"
"Yeah, definitely one of our better. Jesus, Ryo, you're cold!"
"Sorry, I turned the heat down for the night. I love you, Dee," he murmured, tracing patterns on the blanket's surface with his fingertips.
"Love you too, babe. But no more of this 'I want nothing for Christmas' shit, okay?"
Ryo glanced up at him. "I only said it because I didn't want you to go through all the trouble."
"You're worth all the trouble, Ryo," he replied. "I even got into a fistfight over you with our buddy Rose outside of Macy's because of the trouble you're worth."
"Oh Dee, you didn't."
He sighed. "I only hit him once, and he deserved it."
"I'm sure he did not."
"No, he definitely did. Rosie there was suggesting I wasn't good enough for you."
Ryo embraced him tightly. "You'll always be good enough."
"Thanks, babe."
"So what'd you write in my book that couldn't be read in front of Bikky and Carol? I hope it wasn't anything dirty, Dee Laytner, because those pages don't rip out and I don't want to have to defile my brand new book."
"Calm down, babe, I didn't do anything like that. I just didn't want them hearing it 'cause it's personal and they get grossed out by 'love mush.' Don't know why though. Not like they aren't making out when we aren't around."
"Dee, what's it say?" Ryo reminded him.
"Oh, right. Says, 'this journal belongs to Ryo MacLean, the man I live for and would die for, whom I place above all others, even Penguin. I love you with everything I have and everything I am. Merry Christmas, partner, lover. Always yours, Dee.' It isn't Shakespeare…"
"Shut up, Dee," he whispered, leaning forward and kissing him. "It's lovely."
Dee rested a hand on the small of his back. "You're lovely, babe. Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas," Ryo echoed, kissing him again.
And for one night, all of New York seemed to be at peace, as snow started to quietly drift down in the darkness, covering the grimy city in soft white. But Dee and Ryo paid no heed to this, content to spend the last hours of Christmas in each other's arms.
++
See You Again…
++
Notes:
Whatever I'd planned on saying when I started writing this left me…kind of like the way this fic ran away from me. Ah well. I was mean to Berkeley, but he strikes me as the type to be bitter around the holidays. I did like how JJ fit into things in his more helpful position, and older Bikky's interactions with Dee. It wasn't as romantic as I'd originally planned it to be…but the mushy ending made up for that.
Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, Happy Everything Else to those who don't.