Later that night, I was doing the dishes after dinner. My dad sat at the
kitchen table balancing his checking account. The nightly news was on,
roaring loudly over the deafening silence between my father and I. I had
enough on my mind without my father's constant nagging about this or that.
I never thought that I'd be the type of person to get so worked up about
something as stupid as a Homecoming Dance. But it really wasn't the
dance.it was the people surrounding it. On one side there was Ray.the rough
around the edges racist who under the right circumstances could be
extremely sweet former football player. But going with him would mean
ditching Ronnie and Gerry-my two best friends. And Ronnie.god he was so
confusing! First Saturday night made me question our entire friendship then
this afternoon.he said I was beautiful and then that whole "guys would kill
to go with you" thing made me wonder if maybe he wanted to be more than
friends. The thought of my liking him had crossed my mind more than once
this past week but him liking me back would be a whole other story.
I was drying the last of the dishes when the phone rang. My stomach lurched at this awful sound. As I figured it, the voice on the other end of the call was one of three people-none of which I wanted to talk to. The phone rang three times. On the third ring, my father got up, looked at me agitatedly and said "Hello?" I silently prayed for a telemarketer or one of dad's business associates but all of those hopes were dashed when my father uttered the words, "Yes, she's here may I ask who's calling?" There was a short pause and then my father handed me the phone. "A boy named Gerry."
I took a deep breath and said "Hello?"
"Ash? Ashley this is Gerry."
"I know.what's going on?" I asked, trying to be casual.
"Ashley.are you going to homecoming with Ray or not?"
I sighed. "I haven't decided yet. Why? Did you call to bitch me out again because if you did I'm really not in the mood..." "Well you better get in the mood because there's some stuff that needs to be said."
"Like what? Like you think Ray's an asshole? Like you think he's an evil dirty racist who only has one side to him? Well I got a news flash for you Bertier, there's more than meets the eye with Ray Budds."
He laughed. "Oh innocent Ashley how little you really know."
"Shut up Gerry I told you I don't want to hear it!"
"Well little miss stick up her ass, I hope you know that dating Ray is not going to end well for you. The kid's an ass and he'll only hurt you. And just to let you know, when he does hurt you, don't come cryin' to me because I warned you. I won't wanna hear it Ash." "Gerry I am so fucking sick and tired of everyone telling me what I should do! I'm not six! I'm a big girl and can make decisions on my own so stop trying to make them for me!"
"So that's it! You're trying to rebel! I get it.real cute. No one is forcing you to do anything Ashley. And as for treating you like a kid? Why don't you stop acting like one?!"
"Whatever Gerry. You'll have to excuse me I have a phone call to make. I just found the most amazing dress for homecoming and I want to tell Ray what color it is so he can match my corsage to it. Have a nice day!" I slammed down the phone. I was practically out of breath. Never in a million years had I thought that I'd have gotten in a screaming fight with anyone, much less Gerry. That shouldn't have happened like that.he's my best friend-or was my best friend. I closed my eyes and tried to regain my composure. I had to make my phone call. I picked up the receiver and dialed the familiar number. "Hello?" A guy's voice answered. "Ray?"
"Yeah"
"This is Ashley."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "This is WZDS Alexandria. It's 6:00 AM and a beautiful day outside. Now how about a little Spirit in the Sky to get all of you kids out of bed?."
My clock radio's alarm forced me to wake that next morning. God I dreaded going to school.I couldn't face anyone. I knew by now that Ray would have told all his buddies about me saying yes about homecoming and therefore half the school would know. And the half that didn't hear from Ray would hear from Gerry. I reluctantly rose, took my shower and drove to TCW. I walked into the building towards my locker, attempting not to make eye contact with anyone. I stopped at my locker and was putting my books away when I felt someone standing behind me. I could see from my locker mirror's reflection that the person was Ronnie. I pretended not to notice and continued putting my books away.
"So this is how it's going to be now?"
I closed my eyes, praying that when I opened them all of my troubles would be gone.that Ronnie wouldn't be standing there and that things would just be back to normal. But I knew that my attempts were in vain. Ronnie sighed. "Ashley.why did you do it?"
I remained silent. I couldn't even turn around and look at Ronnie in the eye. "So you won't even look at me? Ashley please, just tell me why. I thought we were friends."
When I remained silent for the third time he grabbed my shoulder and turned me to face him. I looked up at him, hoping he wouldn't notice the tears forming in my eyes. "I like Ray. That's why." He rolled his eyes. "The Ashley Cole I know could never like someone like Ray Budds."
"Well then I guess you don't know me as well as you thought."
"I know you just fine Ash and I know that you have some sort of stupid reason for going with Ray to prevent you from." He stopped.
I knew what he would have said. That would have prevented me from going with him. "I have to go Ronnie." I slammed my locker shut and walked away as fast as I could. I ran into the bathroom and locked myself into a stall. Tears began to fall freely from my eyes. I had just lost my best friends because of my own stubbornness. I had never felt so lost or alone in all of my life. When the bell rang, I reluctantly gathered my things, wiped my face clean of tears and walked to class. By lunch, I was just about ready to die. In each class I sat alone in a corner in a desperate attempt to hide from the guys. I just wanted to get through these next few days and then maybe I would think about the rest of the year. On my way to my locker, I was intercepted in the hallway by Rev. I braced myself for another horrible conversation. "Ashley can I talk to you?"
"Sure Rev, what's on your mind?" I said trying to sound casual. "I want you to know that if you want to go to homecoming with Ray, its your own business and I wont bother you about it like the other guys have."
I looked up at Rev surprised. My facial expression must have tipped him off that I was in desperate need of an explanation. "Ray came and talked to me," Rev began. "He caught me this morning and told me he was sorry about hurting me. He said that maybe his ideas about black and white need a reality check and that I'm an okay guy."
My heart skipped a beat. Ray was making an effort? I couldn't have been happier. "I'm glad, Rev. I hope you get to see the good side of Ray, the one that I see." I smiled.
Rev's expression changed. "Ash, as far as I'm concerned, there ain't no good side of Ray Budds. He did this for you. He really cares about you. I say if someone like him is willing to change because he found something or someone to change for, he's got potential. If Ray can be good to you, then I will hold a tiny bit of respect for him."
I smiled at Rev and gave him a hug. "You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that someone was on my side. Thank you."
Rev slowly grinned down at me. "Ash you may have done something I'm not crazy about, but that don't mean I'm gonna stop loving you. And just give the others time, everything will work out in the end, just you wait and see." Rev walked down to lunch after this. I was left standing in the hallway alone. Everything wasn't going to work out in the end. I had this premonition of bad things to come. But looking back now, I realize how much right on that bad feeling was.
I was drying the last of the dishes when the phone rang. My stomach lurched at this awful sound. As I figured it, the voice on the other end of the call was one of three people-none of which I wanted to talk to. The phone rang three times. On the third ring, my father got up, looked at me agitatedly and said "Hello?" I silently prayed for a telemarketer or one of dad's business associates but all of those hopes were dashed when my father uttered the words, "Yes, she's here may I ask who's calling?" There was a short pause and then my father handed me the phone. "A boy named Gerry."
I took a deep breath and said "Hello?"
"Ash? Ashley this is Gerry."
"I know.what's going on?" I asked, trying to be casual.
"Ashley.are you going to homecoming with Ray or not?"
I sighed. "I haven't decided yet. Why? Did you call to bitch me out again because if you did I'm really not in the mood..." "Well you better get in the mood because there's some stuff that needs to be said."
"Like what? Like you think Ray's an asshole? Like you think he's an evil dirty racist who only has one side to him? Well I got a news flash for you Bertier, there's more than meets the eye with Ray Budds."
He laughed. "Oh innocent Ashley how little you really know."
"Shut up Gerry I told you I don't want to hear it!"
"Well little miss stick up her ass, I hope you know that dating Ray is not going to end well for you. The kid's an ass and he'll only hurt you. And just to let you know, when he does hurt you, don't come cryin' to me because I warned you. I won't wanna hear it Ash." "Gerry I am so fucking sick and tired of everyone telling me what I should do! I'm not six! I'm a big girl and can make decisions on my own so stop trying to make them for me!"
"So that's it! You're trying to rebel! I get it.real cute. No one is forcing you to do anything Ashley. And as for treating you like a kid? Why don't you stop acting like one?!"
"Whatever Gerry. You'll have to excuse me I have a phone call to make. I just found the most amazing dress for homecoming and I want to tell Ray what color it is so he can match my corsage to it. Have a nice day!" I slammed down the phone. I was practically out of breath. Never in a million years had I thought that I'd have gotten in a screaming fight with anyone, much less Gerry. That shouldn't have happened like that.he's my best friend-or was my best friend. I closed my eyes and tried to regain my composure. I had to make my phone call. I picked up the receiver and dialed the familiar number. "Hello?" A guy's voice answered. "Ray?"
"Yeah"
"This is Ashley."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "This is WZDS Alexandria. It's 6:00 AM and a beautiful day outside. Now how about a little Spirit in the Sky to get all of you kids out of bed?."
My clock radio's alarm forced me to wake that next morning. God I dreaded going to school.I couldn't face anyone. I knew by now that Ray would have told all his buddies about me saying yes about homecoming and therefore half the school would know. And the half that didn't hear from Ray would hear from Gerry. I reluctantly rose, took my shower and drove to TCW. I walked into the building towards my locker, attempting not to make eye contact with anyone. I stopped at my locker and was putting my books away when I felt someone standing behind me. I could see from my locker mirror's reflection that the person was Ronnie. I pretended not to notice and continued putting my books away.
"So this is how it's going to be now?"
I closed my eyes, praying that when I opened them all of my troubles would be gone.that Ronnie wouldn't be standing there and that things would just be back to normal. But I knew that my attempts were in vain. Ronnie sighed. "Ashley.why did you do it?"
I remained silent. I couldn't even turn around and look at Ronnie in the eye. "So you won't even look at me? Ashley please, just tell me why. I thought we were friends."
When I remained silent for the third time he grabbed my shoulder and turned me to face him. I looked up at him, hoping he wouldn't notice the tears forming in my eyes. "I like Ray. That's why." He rolled his eyes. "The Ashley Cole I know could never like someone like Ray Budds."
"Well then I guess you don't know me as well as you thought."
"I know you just fine Ash and I know that you have some sort of stupid reason for going with Ray to prevent you from." He stopped.
I knew what he would have said. That would have prevented me from going with him. "I have to go Ronnie." I slammed my locker shut and walked away as fast as I could. I ran into the bathroom and locked myself into a stall. Tears began to fall freely from my eyes. I had just lost my best friends because of my own stubbornness. I had never felt so lost or alone in all of my life. When the bell rang, I reluctantly gathered my things, wiped my face clean of tears and walked to class. By lunch, I was just about ready to die. In each class I sat alone in a corner in a desperate attempt to hide from the guys. I just wanted to get through these next few days and then maybe I would think about the rest of the year. On my way to my locker, I was intercepted in the hallway by Rev. I braced myself for another horrible conversation. "Ashley can I talk to you?"
"Sure Rev, what's on your mind?" I said trying to sound casual. "I want you to know that if you want to go to homecoming with Ray, its your own business and I wont bother you about it like the other guys have."
I looked up at Rev surprised. My facial expression must have tipped him off that I was in desperate need of an explanation. "Ray came and talked to me," Rev began. "He caught me this morning and told me he was sorry about hurting me. He said that maybe his ideas about black and white need a reality check and that I'm an okay guy."
My heart skipped a beat. Ray was making an effort? I couldn't have been happier. "I'm glad, Rev. I hope you get to see the good side of Ray, the one that I see." I smiled.
Rev's expression changed. "Ash, as far as I'm concerned, there ain't no good side of Ray Budds. He did this for you. He really cares about you. I say if someone like him is willing to change because he found something or someone to change for, he's got potential. If Ray can be good to you, then I will hold a tiny bit of respect for him."
I smiled at Rev and gave him a hug. "You have no idea how badly I needed to hear that someone was on my side. Thank you."
Rev slowly grinned down at me. "Ash you may have done something I'm not crazy about, but that don't mean I'm gonna stop loving you. And just give the others time, everything will work out in the end, just you wait and see." Rev walked down to lunch after this. I was left standing in the hallway alone. Everything wasn't going to work out in the end. I had this premonition of bad things to come. But looking back now, I realize how much right on that bad feeling was.