After homecoming, my life had done a complete 180. Before, I was still
holding on to my broken friendships with Ronnie and Gerry, foolishly wishing that one day I'd wake up, walk into school, and have them standing
by my locker. But now, after Ray almost hit Ronnie and Ray and me had "fallen in love," I knew that I had to let them go. Now, it seemed like I was with Ray every second of every day. And if not him, I was out with his
group of friends and their girlfriends. I guess I was beginning to grow accustomed to them and their habits of trashing those who weren't in their
select social circle. The situation was in no way ideal, but at least I
always had someone to give Gerry a dirty look whenever I avoided eye contact with him in the hallways. At least I wasn't hiding in the bathrooms at lunch or sitting by myself in class. At least I didn't look as alone as
I felt.
That week, the entire school had gone football crazy. That Friday night was the regional championship game. Of course, I would not be attending. Ray
had already informed me that we were going to a party at Paul DeLong's
house instead. God knows Ray Budds is too stubborn to go and be seen
supporting his former friends at the game. Honestly I think part of the
reason he won't go is because of Ronnie. I don't think that he's 100% convinced that we were never more that friends and the risk of us being in the same place at the same time would be too far for Ray to go. Then again,
I don't know how convinced I was that my feelings for Ronnie didn't run
deeper than I had ever let on.
Thankfully, the week passed uneventfully. Neither Ray nor me had any run-
ins with Gerry or Ronnie. But by the time Friday rolled around, I was definitely ready for a Titan Football free weekend. So when last bell rang that afternoon, I bolted out of Calculus and found Ray waiting at my locker
as usual.
"Hey beautiful, you ready to get out of here?" He grinned.
"Definitely. I thought the weekend would never come." I replied.
"You stoked for the party tonight?"
"Yeah, it should be pretty good." I said, only half listening. I had caught
sight of Ronnie and Michelle at the other end of the hallway. They were standing very close and he was holding her hand and whispering stuff in her
ear which made her burst out laughing.
"Ashley? You listening?" Ray's voice brought my attention back to where it
should have been all along. "Sorry baby. Just spaced out." I smiled. And before he got a chance to look
at what exactly I was spacing out at, I pulled his head toward me and
kissed him. When I broke it, he grinned his signature cocky grin. "Well Ash, I appreciate the gesture but aren't we getting started a little early
tonight?"
I laughed. "Don't get too excited."
"Hey babe I gotta go. I'll pick you up tonight?"
"Sounds good." He kissed me on the cheek, turned and walked out of the
school.
I turned to my locker and began packing up my backpack with my weekend
homework when all of a sudden I heard Blue and Petey's voices.
"Dude Sunshine has been pissy since homecoming. What's the deal?" Blue said. I looked over and the two boys were standing by Petey's locker which was a little ways down the hall from mine. They couldn't see me because my
locker door obscured their vision. Petey rolled his eyes. "Man do you even have to ask? I don't know why he cares so much but it all goes back to Ashley. He has to realize that she ain't coming back to him, she has her precious Ray now. That girl made her
choice and she's living with it so I guess we all have to deal with it
too."
Blue nodded. "I never expected it from her though, she was such a nice and down to earth kid, nothing like Ray. I wonder what she sees in him, I mean
what do Ray and his friends have that we don't?"
"Listen man, I don't know and I don't care. Ashley made her choice and I really don't care what she does from now on. She ditched Sunshine for Ray and you know, maybe tells us more than we've been willing to look at about her, ya know? I mean if she could blow of Ronnie for Ray, then maybe she's
not as great as we thought."
That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I slammed my locker shut so hard that the boys looked up. Color drained from their faces. I walked over to
them and took a deep breath.
"Don't you think I know what I've gotten myself into?" I stared up at
Petey.
"What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about Petey Jones, don't act like I didn't hear every word you just said. But say what you want, I just want you to know
that maybe, if I had the chance to go back and do it all over again it
would have been different. Maybe I'd be happy and actually have friends that gave a shit about me, but no, you must think you know the truth, that I'm really happier now with my racist asshole friends and a boyfriend who cares only about being right and being laid. Right Petey? Isn't that how it
goes?"
I saw him open his mouth to respond, and maybe he did but I didn't hear him. I was too busy running to my car and trying to hold back the tears and
the realization of how bad I had screwed up.
holding on to my broken friendships with Ronnie and Gerry, foolishly wishing that one day I'd wake up, walk into school, and have them standing
by my locker. But now, after Ray almost hit Ronnie and Ray and me had "fallen in love," I knew that I had to let them go. Now, it seemed like I was with Ray every second of every day. And if not him, I was out with his
group of friends and their girlfriends. I guess I was beginning to grow accustomed to them and their habits of trashing those who weren't in their
select social circle. The situation was in no way ideal, but at least I
always had someone to give Gerry a dirty look whenever I avoided eye contact with him in the hallways. At least I wasn't hiding in the bathrooms at lunch or sitting by myself in class. At least I didn't look as alone as
I felt.
That week, the entire school had gone football crazy. That Friday night was the regional championship game. Of course, I would not be attending. Ray
had already informed me that we were going to a party at Paul DeLong's
house instead. God knows Ray Budds is too stubborn to go and be seen
supporting his former friends at the game. Honestly I think part of the
reason he won't go is because of Ronnie. I don't think that he's 100% convinced that we were never more that friends and the risk of us being in the same place at the same time would be too far for Ray to go. Then again,
I don't know how convinced I was that my feelings for Ronnie didn't run
deeper than I had ever let on.
Thankfully, the week passed uneventfully. Neither Ray nor me had any run-
ins with Gerry or Ronnie. But by the time Friday rolled around, I was definitely ready for a Titan Football free weekend. So when last bell rang that afternoon, I bolted out of Calculus and found Ray waiting at my locker
as usual.
"Hey beautiful, you ready to get out of here?" He grinned.
"Definitely. I thought the weekend would never come." I replied.
"You stoked for the party tonight?"
"Yeah, it should be pretty good." I said, only half listening. I had caught
sight of Ronnie and Michelle at the other end of the hallway. They were standing very close and he was holding her hand and whispering stuff in her
ear which made her burst out laughing.
"Ashley? You listening?" Ray's voice brought my attention back to where it
should have been all along. "Sorry baby. Just spaced out." I smiled. And before he got a chance to look
at what exactly I was spacing out at, I pulled his head toward me and
kissed him. When I broke it, he grinned his signature cocky grin. "Well Ash, I appreciate the gesture but aren't we getting started a little early
tonight?"
I laughed. "Don't get too excited."
"Hey babe I gotta go. I'll pick you up tonight?"
"Sounds good." He kissed me on the cheek, turned and walked out of the
school.
I turned to my locker and began packing up my backpack with my weekend
homework when all of a sudden I heard Blue and Petey's voices.
"Dude Sunshine has been pissy since homecoming. What's the deal?" Blue said. I looked over and the two boys were standing by Petey's locker which was a little ways down the hall from mine. They couldn't see me because my
locker door obscured their vision. Petey rolled his eyes. "Man do you even have to ask? I don't know why he cares so much but it all goes back to Ashley. He has to realize that she ain't coming back to him, she has her precious Ray now. That girl made her
choice and she's living with it so I guess we all have to deal with it
too."
Blue nodded. "I never expected it from her though, she was such a nice and down to earth kid, nothing like Ray. I wonder what she sees in him, I mean
what do Ray and his friends have that we don't?"
"Listen man, I don't know and I don't care. Ashley made her choice and I really don't care what she does from now on. She ditched Sunshine for Ray and you know, maybe tells us more than we've been willing to look at about her, ya know? I mean if she could blow of Ronnie for Ray, then maybe she's
not as great as we thought."
That was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I slammed my locker shut so hard that the boys looked up. Color drained from their faces. I walked over to
them and took a deep breath.
"Don't you think I know what I've gotten myself into?" I stared up at
Petey.
"What are you talking about?"
"You know what I'm talking about Petey Jones, don't act like I didn't hear every word you just said. But say what you want, I just want you to know
that maybe, if I had the chance to go back and do it all over again it
would have been different. Maybe I'd be happy and actually have friends that gave a shit about me, but no, you must think you know the truth, that I'm really happier now with my racist asshole friends and a boyfriend who cares only about being right and being laid. Right Petey? Isn't that how it
goes?"
I saw him open his mouth to respond, and maybe he did but I didn't hear him. I was too busy running to my car and trying to hold back the tears and
the realization of how bad I had screwed up.